Plan to be Surprised
When I was 8, I planned to be a stewardess. When I was 12, I planned to be a photographer.
I never planned to be a bartender, pizza delivery driver, customer service associate, or sales person. I never planned to be a writer. I never planned to start a blog.
How could I? There was no such thing as the Internet when I was 8 or 12.
To a certain extent, we can plan our days, but we cannot plan our lives. We can imagine what we want our lives to be like, but we can never see the complete picture, because it hasn’t happened.
We can hope for the best, expect the worst, or try any combination of mind control to make life be exactly what we want it to be.
We can make plans, change plans, attempt to dodge life’s curve balls and even resist change. All of those things are possible, but usually a big waste of time.
Because we are always changing, and the world is always changing, our plans will always change. Even if they are scheduled in our calendars.
The best way to embrace change and live a full life is…
- let go of rigid expectations
- be open to opportunities
- don’t let stuff distract you
- work with good people
- spend less than you make
- find the humor
- be present
- be grateful
- give freely
- love deeply
- be in awe
- be content
- keep dreaming
I strongly believe that there is a place between all or nothing. When you are going through big changes or tough times, it can be hard to see that. When things don’t go as planned, you might feel disappointment instead of surprise. Recognize the beauty of your life and make the middle count.
The dynamic way our lives unfold is exciting, sometimes scary, but mostly really amazing.
Knowing that nothing is for sure, the only way to proceed is to anticipate change and plan to be surprised.
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Thanks Courtney. Another beautiful and thought provoking post.
The first point on your list really resonated with me – “let go of rigid expectations” – all too often we (I) find ourselves (myself) disappointed by life not living up to our (my) expectations.
By letting go of these expectations we open ourselves up to so many more possibilities. The world becomes exciting and fun, and full of surprises.
I love the whole list actually – so true.
Thanks for sharing it.
Steve
Thanks Steve, I know I have missed opportunities, surprises, and excitement by feeling frustrated that things didn’t go as planned. Letting go of that expectation opens up a whole new world.
hello, timely! thy name is courtney!
we’ve been given lots of hard lessons the last week or so about planning days vs planning lives, and it’s been challenging and eye opening and grace-filled and even fun at times! with a baby on the way in approximately 10 days (yeow!) my husband lost his job last wednesday. downsized is the official term, but it all ends the same. all our big-picture plans temporarily tossed aside, we are learning to smile at each other, cuddle as often as possible, and laugh at the way every second of this pregnancy has been unexpected, full of twists and turns, and a roller coaster to the end.
in three weeks we will have a babe in our home, regardless of job situations. we cannot plan much farther in advance than that, and i’m learning that this is okay.
so thanks for the timely post and reminder!
Robyn, So sorry to hear about your husband’s job. While you may not be able to plan every detail, it sounds like your little baby can plan on being loved. That’s the most important thing.
Making the middle count is so hard, sometimes. I fail in that regard more often than not. But when I’m successful? When I able to live right here, in this moment? Yes. It is beautiful.
Desi, It takes a little practice, but before you know it, being right here, right now becomes natural.
It’s a hard concept for control-freaks such as myself. I used to plan things to a T, & when they wouldn’t go as planned, I’d get overwhelmed. Then I completely stopped planning things because I feared that my plans would be thwarted (another means of staying in control). Now I do some planning and some free-spiriting. All the while realizing anything can change any second. But instead of dwelling on a possible issue, I decide to let it leave my head until that issue comes up (if it even does). It’s very freeing to let go!
Keep practicing. Let go more. It clearly makes you happy.
So good! Plan your days but live your life. Wisdom indeed.
Bernice
Thanks Courtney for this post, I frequently need to be reminded of this! I am the worst “what if” thinker and am constantly worrying about the future and things that I cannot control. What if I can’t find a job I like?… What if I’m not happy?… What if I fail at everything I try?… It is quite silly really, yet things that no one cannot control don’t bother me. I live in Christchurch in New Zealand and we have had two devastating earthquakes in the past year, yet the thought of more earthquakes doesn’t worry me that much. I guess I need to think more about the middle and enjoy the planned surprises that will come up during my life and have faith that I will make the most of any situation I find myself in.
Thanks for sharing!
Why is it that age seems to create more rigidity to expectations? It really seems like it should be the other way around. Then the opportunities open up too.
So great to have these practices written out so clearly. It sure makes the peaceful, healthy life a little bit easier to constantly create with thoughts like this swirling around in the head.
Mahalo Wags!
Thank you for this post, it came at the right time. I am disappointed that I am single at 31, as I really want to get married and have children. things just haven’t gone as planned in the dating department. But then I also have to realize that I got my Ph.D. recently, and that’s something I never would’ve planned either!!
@Jean
Wow! Congratulations on the Ph.D Jean!
Just a side note to possibly ease your mind . . . I was married 26 years, had my only son at 41 years-old, divorced at 48, met and married my 2nd husband at 53.
Our culture is really hung up on numbers. I got so much negative feedback from friends and acquaintances about being almost 50 and dating. My (2nd) husband is a doll, 3 years younger than me and treats me like a treasure. Not one doom-sayer retracted their comments.
Doom and gloom sells but you can choose not to buy into it ~ enjoy life, do what brings you joy and good things will follow! AND keep reading Courtney, she’s fabulous!
Thank you! This was my first time posting a comment on this blog, and it’s so lovely that someone replied. and I really appreciate your perspective
Another homerun, Courtney!
I’m learning to “follow the breadcrumbs” in life, i.e., as people, circumstances, and events come in and out of my life, I make my decisions based on predetermined values and beliefs. I still have goals and things that I want to do, but I make room for change as the “breadcrumbs” fall in front of me.
You have a unique gift. Keep it up!
Thanks Gene!
A bright spot in my day, thanks. Good advice – dirk
The past two years have been a lot of ‘letting go’ for me. It’s been a good lesson for me to stay focused on what my highest values are in life.
Reading your post had me think about Victor Frankl. Frankl found meaning in the midst of extreme suffering while working in unthinkably harsh conditions of the Auschwitz concentration camp. He later coined his technique ‘logotherapy’. Frankl’s ‘logotherapy’ is based on that striving to find meaning in life is the most powerful, motivating and driving force in human beings . . . I believe it’s the key to happiness.
Nothing in life is permanent. I’ve finally accepted impermanence as a fact of life and the quality of my life has increased ten-fold. This doesn’t mean I don’t feel loss, I do, deeply, but I don’t hang on to the emotion of it as I have in the past.
Thanks so much for another thought-provoking post Courtney.
Very little turns out as we hope or plan. Often it is for the better. I’ve heard it said “Be careful what you wish for: it might come true.”
Is that baby picture you? or whom?
Mike, the image is a stock image and not a family photo.
Courtney, I’ve been silently following your blog for the past couple of months and I’m always inspired. I’m in the process of “planning” my next career move and this post in particular is reminding me to keep relaxed and maintain perspective. It’s all about the big picture right?
Leanne