Undo Your To Do List Habit
Are you a list maker? At anytime, I have a daily To Do list, grocery list, To Do later list and other lists of thoughts and inspiration. All the jobs I’ve had included tracking calls and goals and other information. More lists.
Months and years ago, when I first considered a life of self employment, I daydreamed about what each day would look like. I imagined that, instead of writing reports and attending meetings, I would casually drop in on a yoga class, meet friends for coffee, do a few volunteer hours and then put in a few hours of actual work. From there, I might spend the afternoon stirring spaghetti sauce to the soft sounds of Bocelli, while chatting to a girlfriend on the phone. It didn’t occur to me that I would want to do work first.
Fast forward two years, (until last week), when I’ve actually quit my job and am ready to embark on a new life.
I am so nervous that I won’t do something important, that I get out my note pad, and start the one thing that will rescue me … the To Do list. That magical list always saves the day, organizes lives and puts everything in perspective. Or not. Perhaps the To Do list is a distraction more than anything else.
Main Reasons I use a To Do list
- To better manage my time
- To ensure that I won’t forget anything
- If I start a to do list, I don’t have to start something else
As I continue to clear distractions and live with less, my mind is clear. I’ll remember the important things I need and want to do. In terms of time management, I want the joy of engaging in projects that I love instead of living to cross items off a list. Jonathan Mead made that crystal clear to me a recent post he wrote, The Myth of Time Management.
This weekend, as I was about to prepare for the week and unleash all of my anxiety onto a list, I stopped and shouted “bollocks!” Actually, being American, I said, “Oh Sh…”. Nevermind, you get the point. I have a calendar. I know where I need to go and what I need to do to get there, so instead of writing a list about it, I’m going to immerse myself in it.
I realized that my to-do list is my crutch. It’s the place I go when I get scared. It’s the place I go when I am not confident in the direction I’m going. It’s what I do so I don’t have to get started.
Here I am, jumping into freedom yet wallowing in responsibility. Yes, I quit my job, but I have to make a living. Yes, I know there are some things more important than money, but I want to send my child to college. Yes, I’m thrilled that I don’t have to attend another redundant Monday morning meeting, but I do have important work to do. Can I do it without a labourious list?
If we really do follow our hearts, do we need directions?
This week, I am going list free. I’ll keep a hand written calendar, but no lists. Inspired by my sweet friend Tammy Strobel, I am keeping an Illustrated Journal. She wrote about the idea in one of her weekly letters. It couldn’t be further from a to-do list, but it’s a place I start my day with silence, creativity and inspiration. Sometimes you have to replace one habit with another, so instead of starting my day writing down all the things I have to do, I’ll draw what’s in front of me, and write what’s on my mind.
What about you? Could you live without a list?
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There’s no way I could do without my To-Do list. I find that it helps to keep me focused on what needs to be done to get me where I want to be in life.
My to-do list is weekly and compiled on Sunday evening after meditation and reflection. With my end in sight, I ask myself what step I can take next to get myself one step closer to my goal of being debt free and moving overseas. If I didn’t have my list I’d second guess myself – and my list is a compilation of what the calm, collected, focused Caitlin wants – not what the tired, frazzled Caitlin wants. My list brings me back to center and reminds me of why I’m doing what I’m doing.
Caitlin, Living without a to do list is not for everyone. I’m not even sure if it will be for me, but I need to see how it changes things. Glad your list keeps you centered.
I’m not ready to give up the To-Do list quite yet. Have not pared things down enough yet and need some sort of way to remember my commmitments – to self and others.
I like Caitlin’s system though. Compiling the list after being grounded and focusing on what brings me closer to my true goals.
Also would love to try starting the morning with an illustrated journal.
Sarah, I’m really enjoying the illustrated journal. I’ll still keep my appointments and commitments in a calendar, but instead of writing down things like, “Call insurance company”, I’ll just do it.
I find my lists are shorter now that I don’t work full time but I still need the grocery list and some reminders of to dos for the day or week. Perhaps you just need to pare back on your list making?
Juhli, I think shorter lists are great. I will still go to the grocery store with a list!
Wow, no to do list? My heart kind of skipped a beat! That is an interesting thought. Not sure if I could do that, but it would be freeing. I need to try that some day. Thanks for the thoughts.
Laura, for chronic list makers, like me, it’s uncomfortable to think about life without one. I can’t wait to see how things turn out at the end of the week.
NO, not yet. Those of you who have been on the path longer do us a disservice by telling us to stop now or quit now. It is not that easy as you well know. Right now, I need my list to keep up with work, dog rescue, etc. Right now, it helps me focus. LATER, I may not need it. I do not consider it a crutch but a tool. I read your blog,Leo’s and Tammy’s plus others for inspiration and encouragement but sometimes am ready to quit them all because I am not where you all are which is rarely acknowledged. You all seem to have made this leap but you forget those of us in early learning stages.
Roberta, I promise I haven’t forgotten you. I’m not suggesting that everything I do is right for you, but I like to share my experiments and stories. I am not even sure if I’m ready to give up the to do list for good, but am giving it a try for a week.
When I first started on this journey, I remember feeling discouraged that I wasn’t in the same situation as someone else, but then I remembered that I was right where I was supposed to be. We are each on our own course, but here to help each other at the same time.
Good luck with your journey and let me know how I can help.
I agree with Roberta that a list can be a way to focus on what is important and eliminate mental/activity clutter. It can also be a way to help me stay calm when beginning to feel overwhelmed. I think a to-do list, like anything (maybe?), isn’t inherently good or bad. It’s what we do with it, how we use it, that determines its value. That said, I like that this post got me thinking about how and why I use lists. Thanks!
Rita, Good point! There is really nothing good or bad about a to-do list, or dessert for that matter, but it’s how we use them.
I definitely could not go without a to-do list on a normal day. I will forget something important! I tend to focus on one thing at a time, and often lose track of time and everything else. So as long as I remember to actually check my to-do list… I’m okay. LOL!
However, I am learning to make my daily list shorter and more realistic. Sometimes I write down so much more than I could ever do (or want to do) in a day, and then get discouraged! Now all those need-to-eventually-dos live on a long-standing list, not my daily list.
Spoken like a true list maker! What if you only put 3 items on your list each day for a week. I dare you.
I love your line “If we really do follow our hearts, do we need directions?”. That’s a very good question.
I’m a total list-person so I can’t even dream living without a list. With a list in my hand I feel more organized and more in control of things around me.
Smriti, me too! I want to feel less in control and more inspired and free. I’ll let you know if it works.
I’ve been feeling for years that once I put something on a to-do list, I almost consider it done and it loses its importance. I’m so with you in just doing something instead of putting it on a list. Which reminds me, I must call about my house insurance. I put it on a list weeks ago and then forgot about it . . .
You are BRAVE! I live for lists! I’m VERY Type-A/hyper-organized, so I adore lists! Since I have ADHD, lists are a necessity for me. I often get distracted, and my list helps me stay focused. Granted, I keep really detailed & fairly accurate mental lists, but I thoroughly enjoy having all items written down. I have wants/desire lists, household projects lists, small projects lists, writing topics lists, daily to-do’s, etc. I’m very interested to see how this goes!
I’m interested to hear how this goes, Courtney! I imagine not having a to do list is easier when you don’t have an 8-5 job (congrats on that, btw!). I keep a list of things I need to do while at work and when I get off work. At 9:30am, I may think of rescheduling my doctor’s appointment, but I cannot do it until my lunch break. So I write it down. Also, my tasks at work have varying priority, so I use Leo’s MITs to prioritize. Finally, my brain bounces around way too much and lists keep me grounded. For me, it’s not a crutch because without it, I couldn’t get done what I need, and WANT, to do.
A good image is the flying keys in the first Harry Potter. Without the lists, my thoughts fly everywhere!
I would get my big projects done just fine without a to-do list. I could imagine not having one for my work, actually. Though I think I might still want a list of all my projects on my white board because having them all visible like that helps me maintain a holistic sense of how they fit together.
But the household management/mama stuff would get messed up without a few lists. There are too many small pieces to keep track of and they don’t belong in my calendar, which I reserve for tickling items and things that MUST get done on a certain day.
I look forward to hearing how your experiment goes, intriguing!
Thekla, that is pretty much what I do too.
(1) A project list, as opposed to a to-do list. When I am ready to get work done, I pick the top project and work on something related to that project.
(2) A household to-do list. Though I try as much as possible not to add things to it (i.e. if something needs fixing, do it right now instead of putting it on a list).
-Pierre
I’m on board. List free as of today! Thanks for the post.
I rarely use to-do lists. Never had. And I am always on-time and organized. I like to be flexible and can shift priorities quickly. The important things, I don’t need a list, they are in my head.
When I make a list, I feel stressed, unproductive, dealing with details instead of the big picture. I never understood why people could not function without lists. I only know a few persons like me.
I don’t even have a grocery list, I like to stroll through the store and see what looks fresh, what’s on sale, what I feel like cooking. Then I follow through at home, cooking what I had planned during my time at the grocery store.
I do use a calendar to remind me of appointments.
Great article. Also about to finish work, and I thought the same thing – a to do list will ensure I don’t panic and thing – what have I done!?!? I must achieve things!!! Good reminder to sometimes just let life happen. Otherwise finishing work could be just as stressful as “work.” I plan on keeping the to do list for now, but perhaps only setting one or two goals per day. I look forward to hearing how the non- to do list goes!
My lists have lists! I don’t know if I could give up lists. For me, it’s like a mind dump. Once I write it, I remember it.
I can see how I get more focused on crossing off items, instead of immersing in the activity. I actually even write down fun stuff, so I make sure to make time for the important stuff too. For me, it’s not procrastination, but it can be hyper-productivity.
Thanks for always pushing us to do more with less, even in the small things!
This post really struck me. I am addicted to my to do list and like you I feel like it is a crutch, a safety net to make me feel in control. I am really struggling right now to rely on it less. I’m making small changes, but old habits die hard. People always make comments and laugh when I write everything down, but I am so afraid of missing something or of not feeling on top of it. I want to get to the feeling of ease and just being able to go for it without my list, but I think after years and years of being in finance it’s hard to just switch it off. I also feel like it validates my day, so I can feel like I accomplished a lot, even though being a full time mom is alot, sometimes it just feels like you need a list guideline. Thank you for you point of view on the topic.
Stacy, You could experiment by only putting 3 items on each daily list. See how it feels.
I was interested in the journaling you mentioned to do in place of a to do list,
but one had to pay to subscribe…no way to follow thru to what you were talking about.
To do lists are only good if used as a reminder, and if at work, everything has to be done before you go home.
When I stopped working as a nurse, my to do lists are mainly reminders for the morning of what day it is, and what HAS to be done. By the way, the post its on my computer are good enough to keep me on track☺.nnInteresting blog and comments.
Thanks.
☮ Siggi in Downeast Maine
I love to do lists. They help me to consolidate and work out the jumble in my head. But interesting I rarely stick to them. I often find the simple task of writing everything down simply orders it in my head too and I can then be in a position to sort it all out without the need to even refer to the list again. The only exception to that rule is my packing list which I LOVE to write and tick off to make sure I haven’t forgotten anything (I am notoriously bad at forgetting at least one thing – usually something relatively important like my phone charger, or shoes – yes you heard that right!)
I’m self-employed, and my to-do list keeps me grounded and mindful. Without it (and believe me, I’ve tried!), my ADD takes me flying off into the clouds. I reconcile those two extremes by including plenty of floating-on-a-cloud activities along with the down-to-earth tasks. When unexpected events interrupt my plans and time seems to get away from me, I can return to my to-do list with the same surety of checking a compass to adjust my direction and to re-prioritize the tasks needed to get me where I want to go.
Wow, it’d be nice to have a life where I don’t have so many things to do that I have to write them all down so as not to forget them.
I don’t really prioritize my lists, it’s just a notebook full of stuff that I jot down as I remember things that need to be done and new things come up that I have to deal with later. I page through it every night and cross off anything I forgot to cross off during the day. Then I write down everything I have to deal with tomorrow. It’s the only way I can get to sleep…otherwise my head keeps spinning with the stuff I’m trying to remember. Once it’s written down, I can forget it long enough to get some rest.
Delighted to see a mix of responses! I am a list maker — everyone in my family is a list maker! (husband, son, daughter) I LOVE lists — grocery lists, lists of books to read, quotations to meditate on and read about, to do lists, shopping lists, lists of ingredients, packing lists — LOVE packing lists! I even have a plan to scrapbook about my love of lists! Writing lists, like taking notes during a lecture, reinforce my thoughts, wants, desires; concretize them in my mind, and yes, I am getting to the age where reminders are helpers — but I have never ruled my mind, my heart, my soul, they delight me — oh, I even bought a book on the art of lists — I kid you not, there is an exhibit here in town, I think it’s at the National Portrait Gallery, of lists of famous people!
I love lists, too. I love sitting down and writing them out. I love checking things off the lists I make. If I’m stuck in a meeting and bored out of my mind, I make lists purely to entertain myself. So I have never found making lists to be the least bit stressful.
I recently wrote about desiring to stay home from a weekend family camping trip so I could tackle my to-do list. I didn’t stay home, and it turns out that getting away from the list was far more important to me and my well being than getting things on the list done.
Ironically, this past weekend, I did stay home from a family hike and I had no to-do list to work on.
I think to-do lists can be helpful, but I also think if you use them for every single thing or task that they can become a hindrance.
Have you ever made lists for fun? Not a to-do list, but something silly. Something like,”words I use often” or “favorite books”. There’s a site called Listography, and while they do have a to-do list category, most people I know of who use it just make lists for the heck of it.
This challenge is not for me, I often tend to forget things even with a list, because…I forget to read the list!
Plus, I think lists do actually fit into a minimalist way of life. To me, their purpose is to park clutter that was in our head down to the piece of paper, so that we don’t have to think about it every second. Once it’s written, I can temporarily forget about the rest of the list and only go back to it when I’ve completed task #1.
I have been thinking about this quite a bit since your post. One of the great things about making fewer lists is you can be more present in what you’re doing. If you have a list of 20 things to do, this is kind of like a debt you have to pay off. It’s a bit more stressful than it needs to be. If you just do tasks as you think of them, it’s easier to stay in the moment and enjoy what you’re doing, not thinking about anything else. It makes the actual doing of tasks more enjoyable, even though they’re the same tasks!
I put some more thoughts into this idea in this post: http://www.pierrebastien.net/do-it-now/
december typically overwhelms me so I have got involved with beging to create new habits like 5 minutes of stair climbing every morning after brushing my teeth. This has served as a diversion from all the fretting about gifts and has given me a headstart on New Years resolutions I have found a website , Routein.com,that helps motivate me to keep focused in my commitment
to creating a good habit of exercise everyday. Christmas was great today as I was in a different mindsetand not punishing myself for my failings.