A Reason for Change
I am not the same person I was 5 years ago. I changed my life and life changed me right back. I am more attentive, rested, hopeful and more fun to be around. I care about completly different things than I used to, and want a different future than I had planned. I don’t say any of this to brag, only to demonstrate that slow, deliberate change may start on the outside, but it works it’s way into your heart and soul. Before you know it, you haven’t just changed a habit, but your life as well.
I didn’t wake up one morning and think, “I want to lead a simpler life.” I didn’t jump out of bed, cancel my cable television, quit my job and throw all my stuff in a dumpster. I didn’t change because I listened to the voice in my head that was screaming at me to slow down and take care. In fact, I didn’t have time to hear that that voice at all.
I made a change because I was sick and tired and scared. I made a change because my doctor said, “You have Multiple Sclerosis”. One small change led to another, but the common thread through every change that I’ve made over the past 5 years has been simplicity.
What I changed and simplified
- Food. I stopped eating meat. It took me 3 months to drop meat that came from cows and pigs and another 3 to walk away from poultry. 2 Years later I stopped eating fish & seafood and could finally say that I don’t eat anything with a mother. While I changed my diet for health reasons, it is sustained by compassion. I read books like Eating Animals
and Skinny Bitch
and realized that not eating animals was good for my heart in more ways than one.
- Money. I changed my relationship with money. I think I used to be mad at money. I had to work so hard to get it and then everyone wanted a piece of it. I spent more money than I had because I thought I deserved to. I didn’t know I was punishing myself. Now money is a tool, and not tied to an emotion. With the exception of a house payment, I don’t owe anyone any money and don’t believe that I am owed anything by money.
- Stuff. I used to think that stuff made me happy. A new pair of boots or beautiful dining room table brought a smile to my face. Today, I own 50% less than I did 5 years ago and am still letting go of stuff. When I moved from New Hampshire to Utah, I drove a u-haul across the country full of my treasures, my stuff. I only remember 1 item that was in that packed trailer. It was a distressed coffee table/trunk. I loved it because I could put stuff in it and on it. I sold it this weekend. I used to play the “what would you take with you if there was a fire” game, and now I know that there is nothing worth running into a burning building for besides the people and pets that I love.
While summed up in 3 paragraphs, those 3 changes came from several shifts and none of them happened overnight. They each resulted in an opportunity for me to be healthier and happier. Each change gave me a chance to redefine the way I view the world and live my life.
Don’t change to find yourself. Change to know yourself.
While I didn’t plan to completely overhaul my life, over 5 years, that is exactly what I did. If you are thinking about a change, start small. Don’t wait until you have to change.
The most surprising thing about simplicity is that when you clear the clutter from your home and your brain, you have the time and attention to hear that voice inside your head and your heart. By reducing stress, you can have the claritiy and confidence to trust that you know what is best for you and to make the necessary changes.
I needed a reason to change, but realize that if I had changed sooner, I wouldn’t have had to go through the sick, tired, scared part. Knowing that one change will lead to another, where do you want to start? If you could change one thing, what would it be?
In the spirit of change, I joined the 2011 EcoChallenge 2011. For the first 2 weeks of October, I’ve committed to changing my habits and not using paper towels, plastic bags, plastic bottles or any packaged food. Join the Be More with Less Team and come together to do something nice for the planet (and it’s people). Here is the sign up information:
- URL: http://www.ecochallenge.org/register_to_participate/
- Team Name: Be More with Less
- Key: qvAfvuV2
Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed this post, please subscribe to Be More with Less & share on twitter.
subscribe your way …
Hi Courtney, first comment, though I’ve been reading you for a while. It struck me that your transition to eating no meat was almost the same as mine years ago, except that I took about a year for each phase.
In my case it was compassion first and health second, but no matter: it benefits everybody, from animals to people who need food (and can’t get it because it’s being used for feeding meat animals) to ourselves, both physically and spiritually.
Catrien, While some people can change overnight, I do find that slow deliberate change sticks. Congrats on making such a powerful change regardless of how long it took.
“With the exception of a house payment, I don’t owe anyone any money and don’t believe that I am owed anything by money.” Here here!! That’s a fantastic statement. In the few days that I have been here – I have taken in so much. Beginning to apply, little by little. Like you said, babysteps is the key.
Ray, It’s so true. Each change I made seemed to get me ready and give me momentum on the next. Keep me posted on your journey and congrats on getting back to yoga!
I started about 3 years ago and every day, week, month, or year I would change one small habit and now I’m a completely different person. I can’t wait to see where I am 3 years from now.
BTW the lack of a stock photo is awesome.
Patrick, Change is exciting. I can’t believe I used to resist it. Thanks for your feedback on the photo.
Courtney….the changes you have made in your life just amaze me. I have no idea where your strength and dedication come from, but keep it coming. Dad and I are so proud of you.
Hi Courtney. Thank you for the work you do on this blog and for this post, especially. I found it moving for many reasons and genuinely appreciate you sharing it.
I have to make a quick correction…plants have parents lol. I generally like to say that I don’t eat anything with a face haha!
Otherwise, this post is perfect. I’m more so on the math to mental clarity instead of physical clarity. However, what I’m finding, I’m not liking. The more I come to terms with how my family is, the more I want to get away from them ASAP. It sounds harsh, but I’d rather be in a supportive environment rather than one that can be supportive, but also extremely judgmental. I’m just waiting for the ability to take that drastic step and move forward in life.
I didn’t eat meat for 2 years a while back. I used to use the term I didn’t eat anything with eyes! I since went back to eating meat. I’m now returning to a plant based diet and am sort of naturally going about it like Courtney did; in stages. Living in Hawaii now, fresh fish is abundant. It’s been easy to give up beef, and sausage type things!
As for the situation with your family, it is also one of the things that happened when I moved to Hawaii. A sister that was in my life, my business, my relationships, and effected me even looking at the phone when it rang is no longer in it. The positive change is amazing. She will always be my sister, but the influence is gone. Today is the best day to start the drastic steps. There is no guarantee that tomorrow will be here and this is your life. You need to live it now!
My favorite part of this post is the idea that you drove part way across the country and now you don’t have the same belongings any longer. How we change! I am planning to move from CA to MA next September and, a year ago, I thought – how am I going to afford to move my furniture and all my stuff? And, this is the “downsized for 10 years” me!! But over this past year I have mentally let go of that idea. I am going to store a few special items with a friend – and then only move the most special items, papers and books and business supplies – only the things I really can’t replace. And a year from now I may have even cut that list in half! Funny thing is – I have never been happier. I love having so much less. It makes my life more fluid.
Fluid! Gayle – that is a great way to express how living with less feels. You really can move easier through the day and your life.
Someone once told me that every possession we own, bears a weight on our soul or is attached to our essence. Maybe we feel so much lighter after purging our “stuff” is because our souls are no longer energetically attached to that stuff.
Hi Courtney, I always appreciate hearing about other people’s journey toward a simpler life. I’m coming close to the third year of my ‘epiphany’ (in the Ancient Greek sense of the word).
For me it was a general feeling something wasn’t right. We’d lost a dear family member at the same time I’d had my second child, and the world felt out of kilter. It is a gradual process, it’s what you do everyday that makes the big difference, changing your habits a little at a time. It’s taken me 6 years to move from full-time employment, to hectic self-employment, to part-time self employment to almost a year now of no paid work (some voluntary!). Sometimes the slow changes are the most effective. have a lovely week over there – Jo
This sounds interesting and I think I’m going to do the food category one. I’ve already been thinking about doing that anyways and I already restrict certain fish due to the illegal ways of capture.
I can buy fruits, veggies, and meat at the Farmer’s Market. I was planning to go for the first time this week. My project that I’m doing is making real pumpkin pie for Thanksgiving (got to practice first) without using cans. And then take the leftover pumpkin to make pumpkin bread. So, that was a couple of things on there list. I can try this for the month of October to see how it goes. I think I can do it.
Hey Courtney,
Inspiration comes in all forms and hearing first-hand experiences from people like yourself (and others who have commented) is proof-positive that personal change is possible.
And glad to hear you’re participating in the Northwest Earth Institute’s EcoChallege too! We’ve put our family of five on the challenge of only consuming food/drinks that have been grown and/or produced within 125 miles of where we live. Wrote the kick-off here: http://www.thenewpursuit.com/2011/09/22/announcing-our-125-mile-local-food-challenge/
Good luck!
Be well,
Bill
You brought up a good point. We don’t want to be minimalists just for something to do. We’re doing it for a reason right?
In retrospect, I don’t believe that I personally have changed, like on the inside, but I do believe that my environment and habits have changed to reflect my morals. It took a while but now all my products are environmentally friendly and are NOT tested on animals. I am a more conscious shopper.
It took me 8 solid months but I finally got rid of all the clutter. I slowly but surely eliminated and eliminated all the extra stuff in my life I didn’t NEED. When my environment is clean and organized, I feel more peace and I see peace and feel calm. For someone who has an anxiety disorder that she’s working on, that goes a long way for me.
The next thing I’m going to work on is my eating habits reflecting my morals. I am an animal rescuer. I don’t think people should eat dogs (like they do in china). I don’t agree with modifying chickens and cows bodies to have larger portions of meat, or with feeding them hormones and chemicals. I believe I will soon say I no longer eat anything that has a mom. So again my purchasing power will reflect my inner morals.
I’ll be walking my talk. and Talking my walk.
good reflection on why we do the things we do.
Courtney,
Oh, how I look forward to reading your blog on Monday evenings! (It’s taken awhile to build up the courage to comment.)
I made a connection between your stuff story and one of the books my son read last night before bed. Bob Gill’s book, The Gift, tells the tale of a child who discovers a hidden gift weeks before his birthday. He imagines (obsesses?) over what it could be. In the end…well, I’d spoil the ending. I hope you check it out from you local library.
The story is lovely. I plan to use it in my classroom (elementary special ed.) for writing practice (theme, author study, response to literature).
Thanks again for sharing your work
Marla
Hi Maria – so excited about checking this book out if I can get it in the UK, I’m trying to find ways of educating my kids about how we can live lovely lives without all this added stuff. I hope that’s what it’s about… off to Google it…Jo
It’s called ‘The Present’ over here!
Read the book to my 6 year old last night – I didn’t guess the ending, and I thought I might so that was great. Then I had a strange dream on the same theme. I’ve told my daughter it’s her special book and I think she may take it in for ‘show and tell’. It’s very much along the lines of how we approach things here at home so she got the message of it and thought it was a lovely book.
(only slight issue was the terminology, although the title has been changed to fit a UK reader, spelling and terminology hadn’t been – which is to be expected after all! – Think I explained Gumball to be a Gobstopper??)
Found you at the right time. My life is simplifying for many of the same reasons as you. Great site, great post. Found you on A-List. I’m an artist who is finding creativity in simple living. Thanks for your post – very enlightening.
Lovely post. I too made some of the same changes when I was diagnosed with MS. I accepted and owned the change in my health. It wasn’t a sentence, it allowed me to explore and learn more about the food I consume. I enjoy all of Portland’s farmer’s markets, and eat seasonal local foods.
Don’t change to find yourself. Change to know yourself.
That one is loud and clear with all of my recent changes. I’ve started developing new relationships and within those I’m able to say “no” loud and clear when situations arise that I may have joined in before out of social expectations or not wanting to hurt someone’s feelings.
That one aspect has helped me to stop questioning if it’s okay, and instead know myself better.
Fabulous insights. Your writing always makes me go within, answer questions that could easily be put on the back burner. Mahalo for sharing your thoughts with such clarity.
Do you want us to send you updates on the EcoChallenge here or can you read our updates on the Profile EcoChallenge website? I’ve been treating that like a full blown blog.
Sou brasileira. É a primeira vez que visito o seu site e fiquei apaixonada! Quero tornar minha vida e da minha família mais simples, mas não é um caminho fácil!
É bom saber que há outros que já estão neste caminho e com sucesso!
Obrigada por suas dicas!
Great post! You’ve come a long way by small and simple changes. I’m starting this path myself. I have a goal of giving myself the “Minimalist” title next January. It’s been freeing letting go of things I never needed. I am also on the journey to eating better and settling that looming mortgage debt once and for all. We have no debt other than house debt also-BUT-it’s a lot of debt, because we own two rental properties. Thank goodness we have cash-flow, and emergency fund and twenty percent down on our home or else six months ago when one of our tenants stopped paying rent we would be in quite the predicament. Though my blog isn’t necessarily a Minimalist blog, I have been writing about our adventures in downsizing our things. I am actually in the middle of a challenge right now. The challenge to rid myself of 100 things in 100 hours. Its been fun! Thanks for sharing all your posts. I always enjoy reading them.