Why are we so afraid to ask the question? Life is full of questions. Some will always be unanswered, but some deserve a response. Sometimes we already know the answer, which makes us go into complete denial when it comes to asking the question. We might think things are ok now, so why worry about it?
Common questions we aren’t asking enough:
- Why am I in debt?
- Why am I unhappy?
- Why can’t I get along with …?
- Why I am working a job that makes me miserable?
- Why don’t I exercise regularly?
- Why am I tired?
- Why am I fat?
- Why did I settle?
- Why don’t they like my idea?
- Why do I put up with that?
- What has to change?
There are others. We all have questions, but asking them rocks the boat, makes us uncomfortable. Asking the question admits things aren’t all kittens and rainbows. Sometimes we feel guilty asking the question. Shouldn’t we be happy already? Do we deserve to be happy when there is so much suffering? Isn’t this enough?
Once the question is asked out loud, then comes accountability, action, and outcomes we can’t predict. Yikes. Sounds easier to sit in front of the TV and worry about that handsome doctor’s problems instead.
I get that you don’t have time to sit around and ponder the meaning of life all day long, but ask one soul shaking question. Say it out loud, put it on paper and be open to the answers.
How to ask the Soul Shaking Question
1. Make a soul shaking appointment. Clear a little time on your calendar. (not while you are waiting for another appointment or eating lunch). This is important and deserves your full attention.
2. Prepare intentionally. Create space and time to honor your commitment. You scheduled a block of time. Now clean a table top or small area to work. Have a pen and notepad or sheet of paper ready. Turn off your phone and other distractions.
3. Clear your head. Before you sit down, go for a walk or do a simple meditation. Quiet your mind, release your anxiety and be ready to do the work.
4. Go there. Sit down alone and write down your soul shaking question or questions. It’s best to start with one, but be prepared for others to follow. Begin to answer your questions. If you notice you are going to the easy answer first, keep going. That might be part of the problem solving but it’s not the answer. Keep going. Go there.
5. Listen to the answers. You said the answers out loud and wrote them on paper. Don’t dismiss them. Listen to them.
6. Respond to the answers. Things aren’t about to get easier. In fact, things might get ugly before they get pretty. Your response will demonstrate your power. Your response will demonstrate your strength and commitment. Your character and soul will shine through your response.
7. Lower your expectations. You’ve asked the soul shaking question. You answered, listened and responded. Why aren’t things better now? They are. Just a tiny bit. You’ve made a choice. It may have taken you years to ask the question so don’t expect a resolution over night. It will take time. It will take help. It will take all that you have. Give it.
These soul shaking questions and answers will scare you. They will taunt you. They will make you shake your head in denial. And then, when you’re ready, the soul shaking answers will inform your next move and change your life.