Choose to be Happy with Enough
Editor’s note: This is a guest post from Adam Tervort of Lean, Mean, Minimalist.
On a recent Saturday I was getting ready to speak at a conference about teaching English. It was a business conference, and most of the people who were attending had interest in either becoming teachers or investing in English schools. You see, I live in Taiwan where teaching English is big business. The other speaker came up to me, shook my hand and asked, “How many do you have?”
“What do you mean?” I said.
“How many do you have?”
“I’ve got three kids.”
“No, no. How many English schools do you have? I’ve got over thirty. I just wanted to know how many you have so we can decide who will speak first and who is last.”
“I have zero. I’ll go first.”
He looked at me like I was crazy. I explained that my talk was about being a teacher, creating a brand for yourself, teacher development, that kind of thing.
“How much do you make per month?” I hate this question. Part of the reason I don’t like it is because I do pretty well, but I hate playing the comparison game. I knew that he makes so much more than I do that comparing income with him would be like telling him that my sedan could give his Ferrari a good race down at the track. He started guessing, got the number right in two, and then said, “But why don’t you open a school? You could make so much more money.”
“Our family decided a while back that we just wanted to have enough. I don’t want a school, the money would never be enough to make me happy with that life.”
He nodded with a funny grin, and wished me luck. When my presentation concluded he started his, and throughout his time he talked over and over about how hard it is to run schools, how it is not a good way to live, but the money is great. And he referred over and over to me. “Maybe I should be like Adam, and just say enough is enough, I don’t know.” To say I was surprised would be an understatement.
You can choose what kind of life you want.
In every field, you can make a choice. You can choose to live with enough, to stop making money when you have what you need. Yes, there will always seem to be another way to make money or another reason that you seem to need more, but when you find a balance of having enough, it will free you. When you stop chasing, then you can start to appreciate how wonderful the place you are now is. Millionaires aren’t the only ones who have everything they want. (They usually don’t, they just seem to.) You can too, but you have to choose what you really want, and then be happy when you get it.
Here are three strategies to help you get started. Their ease of execution depends less on how much money you have and more on how much you want to really change. The clearer your vision is, the easier it will be to execute!
- Savings comes first. Want to be in debt the rest of your life? Here’s your formula: Income – Spending = Savings. Want to break the cycle and become “independent?” Income – Savings = Spending. Set your goal and then save before you spend, every month, even if it is really inconvenient. When you have that hunk of savings in the bank life looks a lot less desperate.
- Eat at home. You can save so much money by figuring out how to make (and make time to make) the things you like to eat. I love pizza. It took a while to figure out how to do it in a toaster oven, but now the kids complain if we eat pizza from the store. It doesn’t taste as good as what we make at home. You’ll save a ton, and you’ll enjoy the fruits of your culinary labors much more than those of a greasy teenager making minimum wage.
- Make a budget. I’m not one of those aesthetic minimalists who lives on lentils, morning dew, and good karma. I like to live a simple life that makes me happy. This includes things like insurance, which costs money up front but would kill you in the end if you didn’t have it. Whatever you need in your life to make you happy, make sure you put it in your budget. I like Tim Ferriss’s approach; find out how much money you need to make every day to finance your “dream lines,” add 25% for incidentals and you’re set. If you are minimal in your wants and buying habits, this turns out to be a surprisingly small amount. Find your number, find how to get to it, then stop worrying about it.
You can be happy with enough. You’ll never be happy if you never have enough. Choose to have enough, and the details will fall into place for you.
When was the last time you turned down more to be happy with enough?
Adam can be browsed, tweeted, RSSed, or done-to by any other number of Internet-specific verbs at his blog about minimalism called Lean, Mean, Minimalist or at Adam Tervort.com.
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39 Responses to “Choose to be Happy with Enough”
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When is enough enough though? I tried being one of those people “who lives on lentils, morning dew, and good karma,” for a while, and, you are right, it didn’t work for me. Now I wonder where to draw the line. Do I sell my car? Do I buy a smartphone? Do I continue working, where I do good, but want more latitude?
I don’t know. Your article touches on these subjects for me. I need to start saving money and get out of debt, for sure, that would be a great place to start.
“I like Tim Ferriss’s approach; find out how much money you need to make every day to finance your “dream lines,” add 25% for incidentals and you’re set. If you are minimal in your wants and buying habits, this turns out to be a surprisingly small amount. Find your number, find how to get to it, then stop worrying about it.”
I like that. Thanks for dose of good info Adam.
It took four years for me to get out of debt and then have the flexibility to do some of the other things I wanted. Just take it slow and keep your end goal in mind. I’m not really of the 100-things minimalist camp, I am more of the happy-life camp. I have a car, a smartphone, and a job. In our family now those things (OK, not really the phone,) help us to do what we want. It could change in the future, but the future could change as well.
Thanks for your comment!
Nice post! Thanks for sharing your ideas!
Viktor
Thanks for reading!
I’m trying to come up with something better than “Oh my gosh, yes! Exactly!” to say – but that is exactly what I want to say! I feel like I’ve been struggling to verbalize this exact idea lately, and you nailed it, I think.
Thanks!
Thanks! By the way, you have a great site, I’m subscribed. I love the worthy post, short and powerful.
Love this. I’m working on this exact thing. It’s taken me time to realize that I never really wanted more, I wanted different.
Great post.
Wanting what’s different is really important. Most people aren’t happy, and you can’t expect to be either if you want the same things they want. You can do it, just have patience and enjoy the journey!
Fabulous post. I learnt slowly when I moved from the UK to Spain (from mega-bucks to a teachers salary) and have turned down “more” countless times since.As you say at the beginning of your article, the trick is not to compare yourself or your life with others.
It sounds like you have quite an exciting life! The bottom line isn’t really mean much in the long run. Do you write at the blog linked from the homepage you listed? The “If I had my life again” post is really powerful. My wife is a cancer survivor, and the whole experience changed our family.
Thanks for commenting!
My new favorite quote: You can be happy with enough. You’ll never be happy if you never have enough.
Such a great post this morning. Thanks so much!
You’re welcome, I’m glad you liked it!
Love it! Enjoying life is so much more than the paycheck you bring home. Yes, money is important, but it is far from being the most important thing in our lives.
And you are a great example of this Joshua. I’ve enjoyed reading about your journey since you quit your job. (And I’m looking forward to reading your novel later in the year.)
Thanks for the comment!
With retirement looming, I got serious about cutting my spending to the bone, just to see how much money I had to have. (Better late than never?) Among other things, I concluded I have enough clothes to last the rest of my life; if needed, I easily could drop cable and landline (internet only as a very last resort); I can eat remarkably cheaply if I need to; I don’t look much different when I use a minimum of hair and skin products and buy the cheapest brands; there are an enormous number of used books out there that can be had for very little money; I will never need another piece of furniture, towel, or many other things for the house; there are an amazing number of ways to spend time without spending money — and on and on. It took a lot of the fear out of retirement.
Good for you, giving life an honest look eliminates the fear and when your fear is gone then you are free to do whatever you want. Your comment about books really resonates with me, I love books. I save a ton of money by reading used books and ebooks, it scratches the itch without impaling the wallet.
And there are libraries too – don’t forget those!
Nice post. I, too, loathe the “what do you make?” question. Even the customary, “What do you do?” requires a good dose of patience. So often the question is not an icebreaker, but, instead is loaded. Whether consciously or unconsciously, the intent is to sort out social standing or rank. The unfortunate consequence is that many people get sucked into the conversation and potentially walk away with a feeling of inadequacy. Sure, there are things that I really want to do, but haven’t pursued them yet. Some of that is me believing more firmly in the power of following my passion. Another part of it is balancing, or negotiating, my wife’s pursuit of her dreams. (Prioritization)
The key, which I think is difficult for most people, is to not allow others to define you or your worth.
“The key, which I think is difficult for most people, is to not allow others to define you or your worth.” Right on, I think this is so important. If everyone saw others not as the sum total of their life to this point but as the total of their potential it would eliminate these kinds of problems.
Thanks for you comment!
Hi Adam,
My car is 12 years old. Two years ago hubs wanted to buy me a new one. Instead I told him I was thinking of going carless. He’d buy me a new one today if I changed my mind. The car is still running and when it’s done, I’m done with cars.
You may wonder why I just don’t get rid of it today. Because hubs is adjusting to the idea. I have to go with the flow. He doesn’t think minimalism is fun! So we compromise.
I would like to go car-free too, but my wife doesn’t see how it could work yet. Having a happy family is really important too, and people will eventually come around, right!
Your blog looks really great, I’ve subscribed. Thanks for your comment!
My life is so much more fulfilling now that I am working to support my needs in life and not to simply build as big a bank account as possible.
I have been told time and time again by people that I’m “lucky” to be taking nine months off of work to spend with my newborn (who is still keeping us waiting on his/her arrival by the way, now 4 days overdue).
But the reality is that I’m not lucky. My wife and I simply made life choices that allow us to live happily below our means so that when times and opportunities like this come along, we can take advantage of them.
Adam, thanks for your post. Keep spreading the good word.
Good luck! My first was a week overdue and we were crawling the walls waiting for him to hurry up and arrive. You and your wife are in for a great surprise, not knowing if your nursery will be pink or blue. That is courage!
I think you’re right, luck is just the culmination of good planning and taking opportunities when they come to you. I hope you will really enjoy your time with the baby. (The first three months with all three of my kids were marathons of sleep deprivation, it sounds like you can avoid some of that. I envy you!)
There are two ways to be rich.
1. Have a boatload of money.
2. Have few needs.
Great post
Well said!
Fascinating and timely article – Thanks Adam!
Today at work they are announcing that my job will face a pay cut as well as extra responsibility, which I am unhappy about taking on. It’s so far removed from the job I started and enjoyed 10 years ago it’s just not worth the stress to me. I had been stressed and worried, “What am I going to do? Where am I going to find a job I like on a similar level?”
Last night it occurred to me, there’s nothing to stop me taking a pay cut to do a “lower status”, less pressurised job. My husband and I live way below our means since he was laid off a few years ago (found another job within 6 months) and paid off our debts. It was a wake up call. As you say, any income above the essentials + contingency is a bonus and goes straight into savings for the future. I might be earning a third less in the future, but we live modestly. This also means that I stopped caring about status purchases and lifestyle a long time ago, although occasionally I have to remind myself of that! It’s certainly worth it for peace of mind and it meant that last night I had a good night’s sleep for the first time in a while.
Tiger, thanks for sharing your story. You’re exactly right, when you see things as they really are (what you want vs what you need) then fear stops being a part of the equation. Good luck! It’s great that you don’t have the pressure of debt, that means you have so many more options. Let me know how things go for you, OK? (you can contact me on twitter or by email, adam AT adamtervort.com)
I like-Eat at home. Eat at home can help us increase more opportunity to be with whom we love. Money may be a key function in life, but family is more important for me.
Thanks for sharing the great article.
Hi Adam ~ I’ve been incorporating more of this lifestyle of less is more, but getting laid-off last year has been both a blessing and a curse. I want to follow my bliss, but finding any job — much less one that’s good or rewarding — is proving to be difficult. So while I am cooking more, walking {almost} every day out in the fresh air, and enjoying designing my blog {instead of commuting for 3 hours daily}, I am also really stressed about our finances. Our problem is probably like many other people out there, we can’t afford to sell our home because it’s dropped so much in value. I embrace a more frugal lifestyle, but it’s hard for my husband to accept making sacrifices when he’s still working so hard.
Thanks for this inspiring post! I love reading about others success with shifting gears and choosing to live the life they truly want.
Adam, I love the final question: “When was the last time you turned down more to be happy with enough?”
Thanks for giving me something to ponder.
i was having a conversation about the American Dream with my 26 year old son the other day. i am going to refer him to this article. excellent
Found you through another blog I read. This is a very thoughtful post. My husband and I live on a 45 acre farm. He has worked all his life in the glass industry and last year his plant closed-he had worked there long enough to get a small(very small) retirement and we are now trying to adjust to living on what we have invested and income (I am disabled). We are both in our late 50′s and it is fortunate that we have never spent tons of money getting the latest and greatest. We enjoy our land, we garden and I can and freeze and we think we are prepared to get by on a lot less. It is scary sometimes when you see the prices on everything from milk to gasoline go sky high. We are thinking of trying to raise some protein(ie ckickens, cows) to be as self sufficient as possible. I like your idea of income-savings=spending. Thanks for the great blog-I am subscribed.
I loved your post. My husband and I are retired nurses. We live in a suburb of New York, but it is our home and our children and grandchildren are nearby, so we will not be relocating to a less expensive state. We do have a small house, and we are making an effort to pay off the remaining mortgage as soon as possible. We share one car. We eat out only occasionally for special occasions or birthdays. When I think how expensive a restaurant meal is, I just lose the desire to have one. We are not into jewelry or exotic vacations. We read a lot (used and thrifted books), garden, play with our grandchild and our dogs. We don’t need formal clothing, we live in jeans, sneakers and casual shirts, of which we have plenty of. I think we’ll be long gone before the clothes are. We used to love to go to garage sales and estate sales but rarely do now because we just do not need any more “stuff”, no matter how much of a bargain it is. We save money regularly, so that we always have a “back-up” reserve for a rainy day. I have to say we have never been happier. Less is definitely more. I only wish I had realized this many years ago, then our mortgage would have already been paid and we would have had a feeling of peace and security much sooner. Thank goodness for wonderful, sensible blogs such as yours.