Confessions of an Aspiring Minimalist
According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, the definition of aspire is to seek to attain or accomplish a particular goal. The great thing about aspiring to do or be something, is that every day, your actions can move you closer to your goal. There are some things with very defined parameters so you know when you not aspiring anymore, but actually being the thing you aspired to be. For instance, after you stop eating meat, you aren’t an aspiring vegetarian anymore, you are an actual vegetarian. When you see your first patient, you are not aspiring to be a doctor, you are a doctor.
Minimalism is different. It is not clearly defined when applied to lifestyle. Art and music perhaps, but lifestyle, no. My choices reflect the person I want to be, but my mindset needs some work. I have been accumulating stuff and thinking a certain way for 40 years, so I don’t expect to be transformed immediately. While I have done a pretty good job getting rid of stuff, not buying stuff, paying off debt and lots of other things in the less is more arena, I may need to work on the following areas:
Confessions of an Aspiring Minimalist
- I haven’t canceled my subscription to Sephora’s weekly newsletters. I haven’t stepped foot in our brand new local Sephora or made any purchases from Sephora.com. I typically don’t even open the newsletter, but if the subject line sparks my curiosity, I will have a look. I have talked about my cosmetic obsession before and it’s almost laughable, because I don’t wear much make-up. Even though it’s been almost four months since I made my commitment not to buy new make-up for three months, the only thing I’ve purchased is mascara.
- When the holiday Nordstrom Catalog arrived in the mail, my heart jumped. Almost one month into minimalist fashion Project 333, I know I won’t be buying anything new in fashion, but I still like to see what’s out there.
- I look forward to movie night. I don’t watch mindless TV anymore, channel surf or waste hours a day in front of the tube, but my husband and I do order movies from Netflix and I really love movie night.
- I like the smell of a new car. My car is in for repair and I have a loaner vehicle that is much newer than my vehicle. Every time I get in the driver’s seat, I think, “I could get used to this”. I know I will never buy a new car and actually look forward to living a car-free life someday, but while I have to drive, I enjoy being really comfortable. That being said, I am really comfortable in my own car. I guess if you never ride in first class, you don’t know what you’re missing in coach, but once you get a taste…
- I would love to get my hair colored (by a professional) I stopped having my hair colored almost a year ago and do it myself. I save about $400 a year. I also wouldn’t mind a 90 minute facial followed by a nice massage, but those are things that I have put on my luxury list, instead of my “I deserve it” list.
- The new iphone? Yes please. I have an iphone and love it. The newer model is sleek and shiny. It has a few more tricks, like the video phone feature, but mine works just fine. My iphone has some bumps and bruises, (because I hate using a cover to protect it) but it is enough for me.
- Room service is my idea of decadent indulgence. In staying at a cheaper b&b on a recent trip to San Francisco, I had a slight yearning for the Ritz Carlton and room service. Note: I have never stayed in a Ritz Carlton, but I have stayed at nice hotels with great service. In exchange for upscale luxury, I got to enjoy homemade croissants with people from all over the world, and learned I would make that trade again.
With all of my shortcomings, there has been some dramatic improvement. For instance, it just occurred to me that my daughter and I didn’t spend an afternoon pouring over the September Issue of Vogue this year. When I went to Target for something the other day, I realized that I used to stop in every weekend, and now it is only when I really need something. Our family usually takes a vacation out of the country each year, and this year, we’ve hardly left the state. We don’t spend afternoons on the couch watching TV ever since I canceled the cable and we don’t dread going to the mailbox, now that we have cleared our debt.
So why do I share the fact that I am tempted by luxury and consumerism? Because maybe you are too in one way or another. Every day we are all faced with choices. Every choice we make either leads us towards the life we want or away from it. By recognizing that, we can start to make real strides. It might be small choices like choosing an apple over a bag of chips if you want to lose weight, or a bigger choice, like not buying a new iphone, because you want to build a comfortable emergency fund. Either way, when you clearly see that each choice makes a difference, the right choice becomes easier to make.
Because minimalism doesn’t look the same for everyone, despite the misconceptions out there, perhaps I am not an aspiring minimalist, but an evolving minimalist. Maybe I don’t need a name for it. Maybe I am content just living with less. I really like the idea that I may never reach my goal, but I get to live my goal every day, choice by choice.
What choices have you made that help you to live with less?
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28 Responses to “Confessions of an Aspiring Minimalist”
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Great insight Courtney!
I too, don’t believe simple living or minimalism directly dictates a person to live with less that 100 things. It’s entirely up to the person themselves and what level of simplifying makes them happy.
I feel anybody making steps to remove themselves from the hedonic treadmill is a huge step in the right direction.
Confession- I still get the tingles and my mind wonders every time I see the new Dodge Challengers;-)!
Thanks for sharing!
EL
Thanks Eric,
Sometimes those challenges help to make great strides in a short amount of time, but you are right, we all have to find our own way. Thanks for your confession!
Appreciate your openness Courtney!
Minimalism is a journey and I think its important that we enjoy the process of letting go just as much as the outcome. If all we do is focus on the destination – we don’t enjoy the ride.
That’s what I enjoyed about this post, you seem intent on being happy with each little tiny step of progress you make. That’s awesome Courtney!
Mike
Oh Courtney, yarn does that to me. And I just started a shopping ban today and am already tempted to break it. I didn’t buy enough yarn to finish the project currently on my needles and now I’m whining about how I don’t want to wait to knit up all other yarn to buy enough to finish. Sigh. I aspire and evolve and you are an inspiration.
I love your openness Courtney, it was your original cosmetics post that made me really warm to you and see how genuine you are.
I’m with you about the new(er) car thing. Big struggle of mine. I took a new-ish Smart Car for a test drive the other week and loved it. Very easy to drive, super economical, cheap tax, insurance etc… I can easily convince myself I need one, and how it’s a very eco-friendly option, if you’re going to have a car… But I’d have to go into debt to buy one, and at the moment that’s not something I want to do again, even if it saves me money over a few years. My head is far too easily turned by cars and I imagine myself owning different ones I see around and thinking “would THIS be the ideal car for me?” Sounds crazy, I’m really very non-materialist in most areas but this is is probably my single biggest blindspot. Haven’t got to the bottom of it yet…
Re the movies, I think movie nights are great too, cuddling up to share a film and some indulgent treat. Making it a special occasion too, with a film consciously chosen, rather than slumping in front of the TV every night watching hours of mindless drivel is a world of difference. No reason to give those up if you and the person you share them enjoy them. Isn’t that the point of minimalism – helping us enjoy life more?
Yes! Yes! Yes! The point of minimalism is to help us enjoy life more. If we are focused on less we can really identify what we care about and how we want to spend our time. Keep working on your car issues, and I will keep working on my attraction to pretty make-up!
My partner and I decided several years ago to avoid paying for cable or satellite television. Instead we get three DVDs at a time for Netflix, allowing us to choose what to watch, whether TV or movies. We’ve watched incredible documentaries and television shows that we love from the US, UK, and Australia.
As someone who can easily fall back into TV addiction, this was a great move for us. And we too look forward to our movie nights.
I also buy very few – maybe 1 or 2 – books a year, new or used. Instead I frequent the library, which I love, and could spend hours perusing their shelves. It saves money, and room on the bookshelves.
I love this, Courtney. You’re so human! You call these shortcomings, but I would call them the richness of you. You love makeup and fashion. You love indulgences once in a while. Who doesn’t? I hope you’re not judging yourself for buying a tube of mascara.
I love you just the way you are…
Gail, I’m actually surprised and proud that I haven’t bought more! Love you too!
I love some comforts too….I do have my phone, one of those techie ones…but I can write it off for work. I love my Ipod because it lends me to listen to things with purpose for me. Podcasts that I truly enjoy.
I have never had my hair cut professionally (on a regular basis)–I just have a simple hairstyle that I can trim myself. But I sometimes dream about sitting in a salon chair. Truth be told, when it comes down to the money…I can’t see myself paying for it. I don’t dye my hair “much”-yeah there are a few grays there–but nothing that a 3 buck box from the store won’t handle.
I don’t do my nails…
….but we bought a more luxury vehicle than we needed-but that was justified to me because my husband spent YEARS driving the worst looking-but paid off-vehicle.
I come and go with my thriftyness.
We are human…and we are trying on many levels. I guess that should count for something-right?
Cheers and peace-
MS
You really are great at making us feel okay about not being there, wherever there is, right now but being works-in-progress. Thanks for sharing. For me, it’s a matter of focus and realizing that there are options if I choose them that can lead me down a more minimalist path. Here’s a tip some of you who may not know — libraries often have amazing movies selections – and they’re free! Thanks for always inspiring and sharing your journey.
Katie, Good point! I never think about the library for movies, but with that suggestion, I am going to see what the selection is like this weekend.
Just found your site, and thought I’d comment about the new car smell. I, too, LOVE it, but it turns out it could be harmful to you. And I only share not to cause fear, but because maybe it will help you feel even better about purchasing used. 60 Minutes (I think it was Leslie) did a story a few months ago on phthalates (a chemical found in soft plastics), and how dangerous they can be and how they are found in almost everything. Nail polish? Check. Shower curtain liner? Check. Air freshener? Check. Package that your cheese comes in? Double check. Anyway, it turns out that new car smell? Is all phthalates, which are potentially harmful. I can’t remember all of the details of the potential dangers, but I remember specifically that if an expectant mother is overly exposed to phthalates during pregnancy, her unborn son could grow up with gen i talia problems. So. That’s not good!
I’m just starting to bet into the minimalist movement. I’m on a mission to remove 500 items from my home (some are groups if they are small (broken/dry pens and pencils), but most are individual items we no longer want or need or use. I’m up to 386!
What a great goal of 500 things gone! I’d like to try it myself.
Courtney, you are preciously honest! You do a heart good!
We each have our own little temptations. Mine might not be cosmetics, but boy oh boy, do I ever have to stay out of the outdoor plant department at Home Depot unless I’m heading there to purchase a particular plant. Being human, we will always have ‘something’ that attracts us.
The key is to recognize it and make choices rathe than blindly loving down the trail to consume yet another ‘thing’.
Oh, gosh. It was so refreshing to read your post – I have a lot of the same feelings, and haven’t managed to give up my car, my coffee habit, or the wedding dress still hanging in our guest room closet…in spite of all my efforts! And I love Netflix; it’s a cherished ritual at our house. I’m glad to know somebody out there feels the same way. But I reassure myself that minimalism is an eternally moving target. At least it gives us something to aim for!
I think as much as we are aspiring, we all have areas we long for. I too would love a massage! And I love to go out to eat for a really good meal (which we do quite often still!) I love the way a new car drives, but I will never pay for one. I do love new clothes, but I am not a big shopper. Let me lose in a bookstore and we may have a problem! Yet I am always trying to wean down my book collection! I also like inexpensive jewelry, but I mean, how much can one person own (or 2, if you count my 17 year old, we share!)
Bernice
http://bernicewood.wordpress.com/2010/09/06/is-simplifying-your-life-too-complicated/
I occasionally wander around a household items or jewelry department in a store, especially at Christmas time and soak up everything I see ( I love shiny/glittery things)
I don’t buy anything but take it all in and when I get home I feel very fulfilled. Just as if I had bought bags full of items! I find I get loads of inspiration for my crafts. I will never become a 100 item minimalist because I like creating things too much.
Hi Courtney!
Very inspiring post! I love reading your posts. I am an inspiring minimalist myself and i look forward everytime to hear more about your journey through a minimalism lifestyle.
I recently got back from a 5 day-vacation trip with friends. I think i mentioned the fact that i had forced myself to bring only a carry-on with me, although i knew my friends would laugh and roll their eyes at the absurdity of it (considering that i knew we’d go out almost every night). You may be glad to hear i made it just fine with my 1 pair of pants, a fancy top, 1 bathing suit and 1 pair of shoes + my flipflops!!! Felt empowered and light… Did not get even one souvenir but took lots of pictures instead and made sure i enjoyed every little moment and savored it, instead on focusing on spending and purchasing things i knew i didn’t need.
Keep up the good work!
Paula
It used to be, that when I returned to Canada (from the small Island of Roatan) for a visit, I couldn’t help but “treat” myself by going shopping for those things that I don’t have access to anymore – Cooking utensils, hair accessories, scented decorative candles, that I knew I’d never light-they’re just to look at.
I’d find a way to jamb them in my luggage, I’d even pay extra for over-weight bags. When I’d get my new found treasures home to the Island, I lovingly unwrapped everything and set it out.
Oh, that wonderful hand held food chopper-the gourmet meals I’ll whip up with that, I’m sure. Then, I stood at the mirror, trying out new ways to adorn my long tresses,with those hair clips. I determined the perfect location for my decorative candles.
Within a couple of days:
The hand held food chopper, didn’t work as well as the label told me it would. I tucked it away in the back of the cupboard, it’s not like I could return it. I left it there until it rusted through, then I threw it away, disappointed with myself for adding to the ever growing garbage piled at the dump.
The hair clips, hurt too much. Besides I really don’t want to use up time putting them in.
The decorative candles started to lean a little. The perfect location got too much direct sunlight. And besides, for some reason the geckos liked to sit on top, and poop on them.
Now, when I go for a visit to Canada, I just take a carry-on suitcase. I don’t waste time at the mall, I have more time to visit family and friends. I don’t spend hours the night before I am returning to Roatan, trying to figure out how to fit everything in.
I’m still “treating” myself though, by knowing that I no longer want, or feel that I need, any of that stuff.
Hi Courtney,
I recently wrote a post about a similar topic — our indulgences that we enjoy even when we are scaling back. I think I have decided to be a balancelimist (I made that up!!). I want to find the balance between having stuff and truly enjoying stuff. I want to enjoy things and indulgences mindfully, and purchase things mindfully. But I’m also trying to reduce my “attachment” to things. They can come in and out of my life, and I can enjoy them while they are here, but let them go when it’s time. Thank you for a wonderful post!
Barrie, I love the concept of enjoying things while they are here, but letting them go when it’s time. I think being aware of the right time to let them go is where most of us get lost. Thanks for giving me something to think about!
I really like this post. It’s almost like you’re confessing your minimalist sins. By the way, I am COMPLETELY with you on the movie thing. I absolutely LOVE watching movies, so I don’t see myself ever giving that up. I don’t watch TV at all, either, so I feel like that kind of balances it out. Anyways, great post!
I love your honesty Courtney – it’s a constantly evolving journey. It’s OK to make “mistakes” (excue me, who elected the Minimalism Police, LOL), it’s OK to change your mind. Minimalism can look so different at each step of the way but once your eyes have been opened, you never want to go back into mindless consumer/sheep mode again.
Agreed!
I confess to all that I subscribed for awhile to the Knot.com, the newsletter for the bridal website, and I would read some of the articles (i.e. a lot of them) when it arrived in my inbox. This might be completely fine except for three things: I’m not in any weddings right now; I’m certainly NOT engaged; and if that day comes, I will not have a wedding like those on the Knot.com!
I checked my inbox, and apparently I unsubscribed early in October! Hooray, haven’t missed it!
We’re just getting started on the road to minimalism, so we definitely still have all these wants, but we’re trying to break free. It’s getting easier and easier as we see paychecks frittered away on stuff rather than enhancing our lives through fun experiences.