We sold our big house and moved to a small apartment in the city.

After years of slowly selling and giving away our stuff, we discovered that we didn’t need as much space as we thought.

I remember when we bought our house eight years ago. It was another step towards the American Dream. We already had the cars, the stuff, the credit cards, the debt and the stress and now we had our very own home (that the bank owned). We bought into the myth of ownership and immediately started investing in our new space.

We spent money on:

• indoor furniture
• outdoor furniture
• paint
• lawn tools
• a new deck
• a new fence
• appliances
• accessories
• storage stuff

and all the other things you need for a house.

When we started simplifying our lives, a new space wasn’t on the table, but as we continued to downsize, it only made sense. We started to look at smaller houses and condos that were around 1000 square feet (1/2 the space of our home).

When we found a 750 sq. ft. apartment, we immediately thought, “That is small.” We walked through it for the first time before it had walls and thought, “This is small.” Paying for storage space was out of the question so even with our downsizing efforts, we would have to make more edits. We knew it would be hard and maybe even stressful, but we were up for the challenge.

We’ve been in our new space for just over a month and are already noticing the benefits of less in the city …

• Less space means less cleaning. I can clean our entire apartment in the time in took to clean 2 rooms in our house.

• It is easier to be car-free downtown. We can walk to the grocery store, restaurants, the library and the farmer’s market. We live in the “free zone” for public transportation, so there is no need for a car.

• Less time in the yard means more time in the world. Instead of spending weekends mowing the lawn, trimming the hedges, washing the fence or shoveling snow, we can hike, ski, travel, walk the city, and spend time doing things we love.

• A smaller space yields smaller utility bills. We are saving money on all of our monthly bills.

• An apartment building offers new opportunities for community. When your neighbors are across the hall, you meet new people every day. We are looking forward to knowing our neighbors and being an active part of our new community.

While we’ve already noticed some immediate benefits, we know that we’ve only scratched the surface. Living small will mean bigger lives for us and our community. What we are giving up in space, we will make up for in time. Having more time to spend together, volunteer, and doing things we love is so much more important than having an extra closet to store our stuff.

Even though we are so happy to give up our big house, garage, lawn and storage shed, we did have wonderful moments there. We’ve learned so much in the past eight years, and are completely open to the fact that things may be completely different in another eight years.

I think the most important lesson we’ve learned is this: Where we are doesn’t matter nearly as much as who we are and how we treat each other.

Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed this post, please subscribe to Be More with Less and connect with me.

MORE …

The five winners of the Fierce and Flexible Giveaway are: Lesley, Julie Anne, Heather, Heather N. and Sarah T. I’ll be emailing you your gifts at the beginning of next week!

Spark and Tinder Sessions have been announced for Salt Lake City, UT and Portland, OR. Learn more about how we can work together face to face!

Saida

When you first become a parent you have no clue what you are doing. You read a ton of parenting books that confuse you with conflicting views but you do the best that you can. As your kids grow and develop minds of their own you start implementing different discipline techniques to see which one works best (I’ll let you know when I figure it out)!

In thirteen years (and four kids) my parenting technique has changed and evolved. I’m much more relaxed at the park, for instance, and my kids are able to explore the apparatus more freely, without mummy waiting to catch them in case they fall. I also don’t freak out anymore if my little one gets a few grains of sand in his mouth.

Something that hasn’t changed over the years is my (what you could call stubborn) insistence on sticking to basic rules that I decided early on were worth implementing.

Here are some examples:

1. Kids do not drink soda
2. Small children do not eat candies (chocolate in moderation is okay)
3. Small children do not eat entire bars of chocolate – they can share with siblings or with me
4. No kid of mine gets fruit roll-ups in their lunch bags (even if all the other kids in the class do)
5. We drink all natural fruit juices – not the sugar and water alternatives.
6. Small kids go to bed by 7:30-8pm.
7. Older kids go to bed by 10:30 ish even on week-ends.
8. There is no need to buy video games

Other parents think I’m a strict parent (as do my kids). I used to think so too. Recently, I learned that there’s a name for my parenting technique. It’s called simplicity parenting, or simple parenting.

I LOVE that! Who wants to be a strict parent? I’d much rather be an advocate for simple parenting

The best part about my discovery is that I have learned that simplicity can be applied to other aspects of my life and it need not be limited to my parenting technique. I wish I had understood this sooner. But as the saying goes, better late than never!

Simple living has renewed my zest for life. I make conscious choices to live more in the moment and I make time to pause during the day to be grateful for the small things.

I’ve started the process of de-cluttering my mind and my home. It’s a slow process but one that I am truly enjoying. For the first time, in a long time, I feel content with my life. Although, I am only at the beginning of my simple journey, I know that I am on the right track, and that in itself is a magical place to be!

Read more from Saida at A Breath of Simplicity.

Until late 2011, I worked in sales and advertising. My biggest goal was to create meaningful campaigns for clients so they could sell you luxury goods. I worked with great people, loved my clients and developed skills that are still part of my work life today, but as I was discovering the benefits of living with less, I began to notice the downside of advertising and marketing.

I used to spend my days convincing people to spend money on advertising, and today I turn down advertising requests on an almost daily basis. Like many other areas of my life, things have changed and I love doing work that is exactly in line with how I live my life. That includes regular evaluations and edits to make sure I am on the right track, happy with my work and doing business with great people.

The best part of my work has always been the connection I make with clients and that moment when all the moving pieces come together to create something awesome. Those moving pieces include ideas, emotions, connections and a whole lotta heart in nearly every situation. Knowing that, I created this …

My favorite part of working with people is working with people. Face to face interaction has to be part of what I do.

I am launching a new part of my business called Spark and Tinder which will include courses, consulting and other goodies, but it will start with you and me working together in the same room.

Announcing the First Two Live Sessions

• Salt Lake City, UT: June 27, 2013 2-5
• Portland, OR: July 8, 2013 2-5

This 3 hour idea sparking, fear busting, business growing event will be held at an awesome downtown location and will be open to 5 people per session. You and me: up close and personal. 

• good food (oh yeah, I am going to feed you in more ways than one)
• brainstorming and bringing your ideas to life
• critiques of your websites, blogs, business ideas
• fighting fear of everything and anything (except for spiders)
• finding focus so you can do your best work
• creative collaboration
• a no holds barred, ask me anything forum on any topic including: platform building, starting something new, self publishing, social media, business, creativity, blogging, simplicity …
• spark and tinder gift bag to help you with your work
• money back guarantee (but no refunds for missing the session) I am confident that you will walk away with everything you need and more.

Spark and Tinder live sessions also include a conversation with me before the session and email support for a week after we meet.

There are only 5 spaces in each session. Sign up now!

Salt Lake City, UT: June 27th – 2pm-5pm $250

Portland, OR: July 8th – 2pm-5pm $250

If you don’t live in Salt Lake City or Portland and want to chat about a spark and tinder live session in your hometown or other ways we can work together, contact me anytime.

Today, I don’t pay much attention to rigid goals, but instead focus more on the process than the end result. I follow the advice given to me by this fabulous woman. “Be Fierce and Flexible.”

When we loosen our grip on expectations, we can take the focus off of how things are supposed to end up, what we think other people will think, and make room to notice the unexpected joys and successes.

Be Fierce and Flexible with …

Your Diet.
Overnight changes and extreme measures rarely work when trying to lose weight or make a big change in your diet. Be fierce with one small change, but flexible with the big picture. If you decide to become a vegetarian and after a week without a hamburger, you want to throw in the towel, step back. Drop chicken first instead, or try a vegetarian burger.

Your Relationships.
As relationships mature, you have to be fierce in your desire to be who you are, but flexible enough to redefine your expectations, and to be loving instead of right.

Your Clutter.
If you’ve been working to reduce your clutter, but feel like it’s a one step forward, two-step back adventure, get fierce with a one in: one (or two) out policy, but be flexible with your family. Stay focused on your clutter before worrying about their clutter.

Growth.
Whether it’s business or personal development, growth can be frustrating when it’s not happening as fast as you imagined it would. Be fierce in your commitment to grow, but flexible when it comes to the direction and methods. Trying something new is not giving up and growing in another way besides rapidly up is not failure.

Goals.
It’s important to consider the nature of your goal setting. When you set a goal, define your why and ask good questions. What happens if you don’t meet your goal, or if you change it, or if you never set it to begin with? Be fierce with your goals while they motivate you or other people involved and flexible with your goals when the goal itself defeats the purpose of your mission, or if you change or grow out of the goal.

I recently set a goal to raise $4400 in a few short weeks for charity: water. I thought it would be fun to celebrate reaching the goal with you on my birthday. When I didn’t meet the goal, instead of stomping my feet, I realized it would be awesome to celebrate with you regardless of date, numbers or goals and just like that, I broke the rules and modified the goal.

Today we are celebrating!

Together we have raised almost $4700 of $4400. We blew that silly goal right out of the water and still have time to raise more. The important number in this goal isn’t $4400 or 6/5/2013. The important number is how many people will start drinking clean water because of our efforts. Today that number is 72 and I hope it continues to grow.

Massive Giveaway!

Some of my amazing friends want to give you a gift, so I am giving away 5 beautiful bundles of ebooks and courses that will help you not only be fierce and flexible, but happier and healthier too.

If you are one of 5 winners, here is what you get:

• Go Small and Be Happy by Tammy Strobel In 2010, Tammy Strobel started writing essays for readers as an experiment in micro-patronage. However, the essays turned into something more; they became a way to teach about happiness and simplicity through narrative based stories. You can read this little book of essays from cover to cover or pick and choose. After reading this collection of essays, you’ll be inspired to go small and be happy!
• Easy Homemade by Mandi Ehman Easy Homemade features recipes for more than 60 homemade kitchen staples as well as kitchen tips, information about choosing various ingredients and more. As a self-proclaimed kitchen dunce, Mandi considers herself far from an accomplished chef, but she’s found that making things from scratch — even the things we typically buy without even considering that we could make them at home — is actually pretty easy.
• Simplify by Joshua Becker Simplify is a celebration of living more by owning less. This is a book that calls for the end of living lives seeking and accumulating more and more possessions by highlighting the enjoyment of living with less.
• 99 Stories to Make You Think, Smile and Cry by Marc and Angel Chernoff. These are simple, powerful, real life stories written by the people who lived them.
• Simplicity: Essays by Joshua Fields Millburn and Ryan Nicodemus In the two years since Joshua Fields Millburn and Ryan Nicodemus—The Minimalists—walked away from their six-figure careers and jettisoned most of their material possessions, they have written hundreds of essays about living a meaningful life with less stuff. Simplicity: Essays is the best of The Minimalists—a carefully curated collection containing 46 essays on minimalism.
• Smalltopia by Tammy Strobel  is full of tips, tools, and strategies to help you create a very small, sustainable business. This book of essays tells Tammy Strobel’s personal story of escaping the rat race and the lessons she learned along the way.
• Make Time by Courtney Carver & Tammy Strobel If you’ve ever wished for more hours in the day or felt frustrated that you couldn’t do it all, this course is for you. You’ll receive course contents that will include 3 Weekly modules with audio interviews with experts, instructive lessons, guest contributions, video presentations, and homework assignments.
• Inside-Out Simplicityby Joshua Becker. Get ready for a 360 degree approach to the simplified lifestyle. “Inside-Out Simplicity: Life-Changing Keys to your Most Important Relationships” goes beyond the superficial, external fixes to our complicated lives. Instead, this book dares to focus on the very heart and soul of a simplified life.
• Everyday Magic: A Photography mini-course by Tammy Strobel will spark your creative juices and help you get in touch with the joy of taking photos. Throughout the course, Tammy will give you tips and tools to improve your photography practice. However, this is not a highly technical ecourse. You will learn how to take better photos and have fun along the way!
• Eat Awesome by Paul Jarvis is a regular person’s guide to plant-based, whole foods. It includes practical pantry-stocking tips, kitchen-hacking tricks, and most importantly, over 30 nourishing recipes and meal ideas. No dogma, just deliciousness. Veganism is love, baby!
• Unautomate Your Finances by Adam Baker Figure out your true money situation and create a workable budget, once and for all. This now-off-the-market ebook, which sold for $17, was Man Vs. Debt founder Adam Baker’s first personal-finance guide.

How to Win

DO …

• Add a comment below about being fierce and or flexible or anything you’d like to share. (If you are reading this post via email, click on the title and you can leave a comment on the original post.)
• Share this awesome opportunity with friends. (not mandatory, only generous)

DON’T

• Email me an entry (it won’t count)
• Add multiple comments (you will be disqualified)

I will be choosing a winner on Friday at noon and announcing the results next week. Thank you again for your donations, contributions, kind words and loving spirits.

Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed this post, please subscribe to Be More with Less and connect with me.

P.S. I am announcing something new, fun and meaningful to your work next week. This will be an up close and personal, mind-blowing creative experience for a teeny-tiny group of people, and subscribers of courtneycarver.com will hear it first. If you want the first look, sign up at the bottom of this page or visit the sign up form.

Amy

Like many “simplifiers” I live with a “clutter-er.” Alas, yes that is my lot in life. My first thought is, “Is there any reason to keep this?” and his is, “Is there any reason I should throw this away?” So, I guess you would call us a mixed marriage.

The clutter from him was starting to get to me so I devised a plan. I got a box and dated the front. Every time his stuff is lying around for a few days, it goes in the box. If he’s looking for it, it’s there and if he’s not… it’s also there. His home office is over our garage so now his clutter is not all over the den and kitchen but in a box ready for him when he wants it (or not), and I’m happy because I don’t have to look at it for days on end. Perhaps one day he will realize he needs to purge or actually throw some paperwork away, but until then we’re happy and can still live in the same house without strife.

I’ve applied a similar principle for the “teenage wasteland” that accumulates in the main part of the house. They get a basket. When I can’t stand seeing their stuff lying around cluttering up the area, it goes in the basket. When it’s full it goes up to their room, and we start over again. I don’t have to nag; I get a serene looking environment (most of the time), and they get to be a teenagers and not always take their stuff directly to their rooms. Of course both of these come with the reminder that before I can get mad or frustrated with them, I also need to take a quick glance around the house for the stuff that’s out that’s mine! It keeps me humble because I always find something.

Thanks to Amy for sharing her story!

Your best life is not a result of having it all or trying to have it all, but including and appreciating what means most to you. That almost always means giving up all of the things that mean little or nothing. It means making big and small trades daily and over time.

Some of the trades I’ve made to live my best life:

• I traded meat and milk for a less inflammatory, vegetarian diet that has resulted in better health.
• I traded expensive vacations, new cars, jewelry and other luxuries to pay off debt.
• I traded a stressful, reliable job for work I love that comes with more uncertainty, which has led to more joy and creativity in my work.
• I traded most of my clothing for a tiny wardrobe that allows me get ready with ease and spend less.
• I traded money for time, stuff for people and stress and drama for love and health. 
• I traded the fear of uncertainty for getting started anyway.
• I traded dwelling in the past for celebrating the right now.

None of these trades happened overnight. Some took years. Trades aren’t always black and white either, but sometimes less and more. For instance, I will trade less needing for more giving and less planning for more openness to new adventures.

I asked you on Twitter and Facebook about what you will trade …

• I will trade autopilot for mindfulness.
• I will trade having for doing.
• I will trade buying for reusing.
• I will trade food for weight loss.
• I will trade shopping for knitting and stressing for confidence.
• I will trade working more hours to acquire things for more time with my precious children.
• I’ll trade frustration for confidence and clutter for freedom.
• I will trade stress for health.
• I will trade an under-paid part time job for a better family-life balance.
• I will trade clutter for simplicity, freedom and peace.
• We will trade luxury for necessity to live our best lives – and help other people live theirs!
• I will trade expectations for peace to live my best life.

Some will have you believe that you deserve everything and success will come when you own it all, balance it all, or even give it all away. Instead, what you really deserve is time and space to fully consider and understand what is most important to you and what you want to include in your very best life.

Once you identify what those things are, you can begin to thoughtfully trade the meaningless, the distracting, the hurtful, and the mind numbing for focus and attention on the loving, the happiness, the beautiful and the most meaningful things.

Don’t be afraid to rethink and trade up.

What will you trade? I will trade ………. for ……………… (please answer in the comment section)

Great news to share with you!

I am announcing something new, fun and meaningful to your work next week. This is for a teeny-tiny group of people, and subscribers of courtneycarver.com will hear it first. If you want the first look, sign up at the bottom of this page or visit the sign up form.

and

We are only $303 away from our charity: water goal and if I wake up Monday morning to see we have hit the goal, I’m giving my ebooks away for free all day long and have 5 big giveaway packages including books and courses from awesome authors and teachers. If 101 people donate $3.00 each, we will reach our goal! Thanks to all of you who have contributed to and shared this campaign.

UPDATE: We did it! Together we met the goal of $4400 for charity: water in just a few weeks! Because of your generous giving, 65 people will have clean drinking water. There is much to be said about a strong community. Love YOU! Visit this site Monday for celebration, giveaways, and my deepest gratitude.

Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed this post, please subscribe to Be More with Less and connect with me.

The problem was that I never really cared about the dangling carrot, but only the things I thought I would achieve as a result of getting there first; I’d be more successful, people would like me more and life would be easy and awesome.

If I am being really honest with myself, while I was typically in fierce competition mode at work, it seeped into my personal life as well.

I competed with …

• friends in hopes of my life and relationships measuring up with what they had.
• family in hopes that my life choices would make me as happy as their choices made them.
• people I didn’t even know who wore better clothes than I did in advertisements.

I didn’t do any of this with malice or even complete awareness, just out of habit. First, fast, and best sometimes came before developing meaningful relationships and identifying what would truly make me more successful, well liked and my life easy and awesome.

Like other parts of my life, that has all changed and today I choose collaboration over competition for better business and relationships.

I write about simplicity. So do other writers, bloggers and artists. In many other fields, we would be competitors, but instead we are collaborators.

We chose collaboration over competition for better business and relationships.

• Tammy Strobel and I got to know each other on Twitter and then we scheduled a Skype call to say hi. Today, we partner on lovely courses and have become friends for life.

• Laura Dossena translated my ebook, Living in the Land of Enough to the Italian Dall’abbondanza all’abbastanza. International collaborations are awesome!

• Joshua Becker invited me to guest post on his site, Becoming Minimalist helping me to grow my blog and share my message of simplicity. We spoke together this year about minimalism and entrepreneurship and I am hopeful that we will collaborate on other projects moving forward.

• Leo Babauta taught me the ins and outs of blogging. He showed me how to drink and enjoy tea and we wrote a book and course together.  If he is ever in Salt Lake City and needs a ski instructor or hiking guide, I’ll be there!

• Valentina Thörner da Cruz created the Spanish version of my Dress with Less course and our relationship started with a simple Skype chat.

• I spoke with Joshua Millburn and Ryan Nicodemus in Austin Texas at SXSW and I am still trying to figure out how to send them Chipotle burritos on a regular basis.

While I am so grateful for the work we have done together, I am much more interested in the relationships we have developed. They became my friends and add tremendous value to my life.

I can’t wait to go to Portand, OR in July to meet world changers like Joel Zaslofsky and Victoria Smith. I’m excited to work with artists, bloggers and entrepreneurs to lift them up and help them put their hearts in front of their goals. I look forward to sharing more stories of simplicity in action and guest posts from people dressing with less.

Collaboration over competition encourages:

• meaningful relationships. When you are curious about another person’s life and work, a relationship begins. When you help and contribute, the relationship flourishes.
• creativity. Two brains are better than one and once you start brainstorming and sharing ideas with like-minded people, the sky is the limit in terms of creative ideas.
• vulnerability. Putting yourself out there and exposing your work or heart for criticism and rejection is hard, but you can’t enjoy love, praise and joy without risking the bad stuff. Collaborating with others makes that risk easier because you know someone will be there to celebrate or catch you when you fall.

Stop measuring up, climbing the ladder and tearing down others to build yourself up. It’s time to connect and collaborate, to support and strive for better relationships in life and business.

I want to hear about your work and get to know you better too, because there is more lifting to be done.

Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed this post, please subscribe to Be More with Less and connect with me.

P.S. Speaking of collaborating, together we have raised almost $3300 of my $4400 commitment to charity: water in just a few weeks. Help me reach $4400 by my birthday on June 5th and we will be celebrating with free books and other surprises. Thank you for all that you do!

Robert

I’ve pretty much always known I needed to “get organized”. I was a messy kid and I’m still a somewhat-messy adult.

Back in 2006, I was still solidly mired in my packrat’s nest of clutter when I stumbled upon a book by a guy named Don Aslett. The book was called Clutter Be Gone, and I bought it for two of the top packratty reasons to buy anything – “because it’s on sale”, and “because I might use it someday”. Besides, everybody knows that you don’t actually have to read books – just owning the book is enough….right?

$3.99 and a drive home later, the book was tossed on a pile by the door. I did actually intend to read it – really! But it never happened, and piles do what piles do – grow, shift, and move.

Fast-forward two years.

I’m digging through my front closet (aka “the mini junk room”) looking for something else, and I stumble upon the book. I remembered buying it, I remembered that I’d intended to read it, and I decided to take stock of my current situation.

I had:

• An apartment full of stuff
• Stuff in an office downtown that I’d rented but currently wasn’t using
• Stuff in a storage unit
• Stuff in a former apartment (where a friend of mine still lived)
• Stuff in somebody else’s storage unit

I needed to do something. I read the book over a weekend, and formulated a plan to get things under control.

Since the apartment barely had room to for me to move around, I had to go through and do a pretty serious declutter before I could reasonably bring anything else in. Then came the stuff from my storage unit. Then the stuff from the office. Then the stuff from my friend’s storage unit. Then the stuff from my friend’s place.

I literally decluttered the same apartment five times in a row. I won’t bore you with the details, but suffice it to say there were lots of garbage bags, lots of trips to the thrift store, and lots of time (think months, not days) involved.

The Lessons From That 5-Pass Declutter

Sometimes simplicity is found only after making a long trek through complexity. If you’re trying to simplify your life, there are some things that are in your future – you might as well plan for them now.

I had hard questions. It’s not just “do I need/want this?” It’s “why?” It’s “am I being realistic?” It’s “what choice would (fill in a famous minimalist blogger or two here) make?” And then it’s “why do I care what other people think?” There are dozens of questions, and not all of them have easy answers.

I had downright depressing revelations of how much junk I’d accumulated. I must’ve handled over 50 computer power cords during my decluttering efforts. Not 50 types of power cords (although I could say that too!); 50 of the same type of cord. Each time I encountered one I rationalized that I needed a couple spares, so into the cord bin it went. It wasn’t until I went to declutter the bin that I discovered just how many spares I had.

I had mental wars due to wanting to give stuff good homes, but wanting it out of my space. Wanting to re-home electronics that I was no longer using caused me to save two piles – devices in need of wiring, and wiring in need of devices. It wasn’t until I knew every device and cord were accounted for that I felt I could safely throw away extras.

I came to grips with the fact that my space will probably never look like those pictures in the magazines. My computer desk, for example, will never be completely clear. It’s the home of the chargers for my phone and headset, a portable hard drive, an external monitor for my laptop, and a few other work-related gadgets. I have, however, purchased appropriate-length cords, connected them so they don’t dangle, and minimized the amount of things that I have to disconnect to take my laptop somewhere.

But It’s Not All Dark & Dismal

As I got further along on the journey, the questions have gotten easier. I’m finding myself less likely to buy excess junk, because I know what it looks like. My wife put it perfectly one day. She was looking at a bunch of tchotchke-type items on a shelf at a store, and said “there’s just nothing here that I don’t see winding up in a pile for my parents’ next rummage sale”.

My spaces are getting cleaner and more functional as time goes on. There’s definitely light at the end of this tunnel!

And there’s light at the end of your tunnel too. Your road to simplicity might make a beeline through the valley of complexity, and that’s both normal and okay.

Keep moving, keep progressing, and keep your head up. And if you’re having a hard time with those, feel free to stop by my blog, Untitled Minimalism, and drop me a line. I’d love to be able to help!

After high school, the traditional path is to go to a good college with good loans so you can get a good job to pay off the good loans. Then, while you are paying off the loans, you will fall out of love with your job. You’ll have to keep it though because while your job covers student loans, rent and a car payment, you’ll have a high interest credit card to pay for that covers the groceries and all the things you need to buy to make yourself feel better.

I know it’s not like that for everyone, but there are some of you who know exactly what I’m talking about. When my daughter was born, I was caught in that cycle and it kept going for years. Today things are different and I want her and every other graduate to know that it can be different for them too.

10 Lessons of Less for High School Graduates

1. Only spend what you have.
Being broke in college or any where after high school is a rite of passage. You won’t be the only one scrounging for change to cover lunch. Credit cards will afford you more luxuries now, but if you want real freedom, wait. Everything is better when it’s paid for.

2. Say no to student loans.
A low-interest rate doesn’t make debt any more enjoyable. Once you have a student loan, it will be on your mind and list of monthly bills for what feels like an eternity. Look for grants and scholarships. Ask for help. Work. Choose a more affordable school. If you can get out of school with no loans, you have a shot at doing work you love.

3. Do what YOU want.
You have been going to school and getting good grades to please your parents or get into college. You’ve been taking classes that are required most of the time. Now it’s time to spread your wings and fly in your own direction. People won’t always agree with your choices, but if they love you now, they will love you and support your journey.

4. Don’t measure your success based on the end result.
Your success in college cannot be measured by your degree, but instead by all of the things that happen in between. The things you learn and the people you meet will contribute to your success. Your success in life will never be about what you own. Certificates of achievements or impressive resumes will never define your life. Let love, happiness, joy, connection and contribution be your markers.

5. Don’t be afraid to change direction.
If you change your mind about school, a relationship, a job or anything that is important to you, ask big questions and honor the answers. You’ll know when it’s time for a change. This isn’t the violin lessons your parents wouldn’t let you quit in third grade. This is your big, beautiful life.

6. You will make mistakes and survive failure.
You are not perfect, and thank goodness for that. You will let people down, fail miserably and make mistakes that you never thought possible. And you will be ok. Apologize. Forgive yourself. Learn from it. Ask for help. Stand back up.

7. You don’t have to be an expert to help someone.
You have knowledge, compassion and experience to be helpful today. You don’t have to wait until you have more school or work experience. You have something to offer right now. Offer it. It will change someone’s life.

8. Drama will only distract you from what’s most important.
Spend time with people who lift you up and then lift them right back. Know when to walk away from toxic relationships and dramatic situations. It’s not your job to fix everything.

9. Disconnect on a regular basis.
If you want to fully connect with new friends, develop your passions and truly experience the world, you have to recognize that text messages aren’t urgent. Facebook will survive without you. Your email can wait and there are always rainy weekends to catch up on your favorite TV shows. Shut everything down on a regular basis and go for a walk.

10. Live with less to discover what is most important to you.
When people tell you that you can be whatever you want to be, they forget to tell you that you can only be whatever you want to be when you have the freedom to choose that path. When you are saddled with debt, bad relationships, mile long to-do lists and rooms full of stuff, you are not free to choose. There is very little, if anything that you own right now that will matter to you in 20 years. Buy less. Spend less. Complain less. Worry less. Love more. Appreciate more. Experience More. Sleep more. Save more. Give more. Be more with less.

And a love note for mine …

Dear B,

Growing you up has been my greatest pleasure and honor and my most important work. We have done some amazing things together and visited beautiful places, but these little things will always be my favorite …

• Tucking you in and whispering, “you are my best girl.” and waiting for your reply, “you’re mine.”
• Watching you walk into your first day of school with an empty backpack that was bigger than your back. 
• That time I made you spell your name with your body on the beach and that grumpy look on your face by the time we got to “Y”.
• Your hiccups that scare small children. 
• Dancing with you at the wedding.
• When you picked Guinness as our dog because he was the puppy that hugged you first.
• Realizing that all of my worries about the kind of teenager you would become were silly.
• When you fell in love with dance.
• Walking together under the bubble umbrella laughing hysterically.
• The letters you wrote me on Mother’s day and other days that made me cry.
• The letters I wrote you that made you cry. 

I know these are just the beginning of the memories and lessons we will share together, but I am ready to take a step back and watch your life unfold. As a mom who wants to help and protect and hold on tight, it will be my biggest change and challenge yet, but I trust you and want you to experience the world in your own way.

I am excited to see you discover opportunities and watch you make big decisions. I won’t always agree, but I will always love you. I will let you fall and fail, but I will help you pick up the pieces. When ever you need me, or a free lunch, just ask. I’ll be there.

I love you so very much,

mom

P.S. You are my best girl.

If you would like to add words of wisdom and advice for graduates, please feel free to do that in the comment section below. 

Reflecting on my plans to jump gently into a brand new year has been really helpful. Some things got done, and some things didn’t, but I have stayed true to my declaration to dismiss result-oriented success:  I won’t be measuring success by how or when I arrive at certain goals or measurements, but instead in how I move through the transition. If the process is full of grace and intention it will be called a success regardless of the outcome.

That simple direction allows me to start something new more quickly, and release what isn’t working with ease. Reviewing where I was and what I wanted five months ago is a great benchmark, but I’m not married to those plans. Instead, I am staying focused on the most important things and recognize that they change over time.

New Ventures and Adventures

Adventure Capital
I recently started Chris Guillebeau’s Adventure Capital and it is sparking great ideas and reminding me that learning is always a good investment of time and money. Adventure Capital is only open during select times and tomorrow is one of those times! This is for you if you have an idea, but you need help getting off the ground or you have an existing business, and you want to increase sales. If you join Adventure Capital on my recommendation, you’ll receive an hour of consulting with me during your second month of the course. Sign up to learn more and to be notified when the course opens.

Charity: water
Together, we’ve raised $2693 in one week! The goal is $4400 and while we have 60 days to do it, if we make it by my birthday on June 5th, there will be some major celebrating, free books for all, and other surprises.  Here is an invitation to help: http://bemorewithless.com/an-invitation-to-be-more-with-less/. Thanks for your donations and awesome messages!

The mother-daughter book club
My favorite Christmas gift came from my daughter. She recognized that I didn’t want “stuff” and she knew that what I really wanted was more time with her. She gave me a mother-daughter book club. We read a book and then plan an activity like going out to lunch to talk about it. We recently read The Great Gatsby and finished by going to dinner and seeing the movie. This week we are starting a new novel by Lauren Graham called Someday, Someday, Maybe. I hope you’ll use this gift idea for someone you love.

Summer Book Bundle
Speaking of books, if you are ready to get summer started, you may enjoy the Summer Bundle: 5 summer reads for only $7.40.

Speaking at SXSW
I so enjoyed speaking at SXSW with friends, Joshua Becker, Joshua Millburn and Ryan Nicodemus. Exploring Austin and meeting awesome people was as much fun as speaking to a group of 200 about how minimalism is changing entrepreneurship. I’m excited to explore more opportunity for speaking.

Timetable

• 0:00 Joshua Becker states the case for minimalism
• 11:59 Joshua Fields Millburn discusses cultivating your passion
• 21:35 Ryan Nicodemus discusses overcoming the fear of money
• 28:35 Courtney Carver discusses practical applications of minimalism
• 40:00 Q&A with the crowd

A new direction
In working with clients over the past few years, I’ve discovered that what they want more than anything else is permission to be creative, the confidence to share their ideas with the world and a mentor to help them grow, share, create and lead. My new blog and offerings at courtneycarver.com will deliver those most important things and will be replacing my business site. We will still talk about ways to do business more simply, but cultivating ideas and enjoying your work will be the focus.

______________________

If your life or business is heading in a new direction, be open. Don’t force sameness or wallow in complacency. Take a step or a stand. Be curious and ready to embrace something you didn’t expect.

Instead of tying your self-worth to the end result of any venture or adventure, focus on your approach, experience, and how you treat yourself and others during the journey.

What’s new in your year? 

Some of the links above are affiliate links. I receive a commission if you make a purchase. I don’t accept paid advertising or referral programs from people I don’t know or trust. I only recommend good work from good people.

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