Immediate Gratification is for Sissies
Tears pooled up behind my eyes earlier this week in yoga class. In a deep lunge, left leg forward, I reached my right arm behind my lower back toward my left thigh. Then my left arm went under my left leg reaching for the right arm. It sounds like a mean game of Twister but it should have looked like this…
Sanskrit Name: Baddha Utthita Parsvakonasana
English Translation: Bound Extended Side Angle Pose
image from Fit Sugar
I wasn’t even close. My arms were reaching but felt miles apart. Why couldn’t I have a miraculous flexibility break through and at least let my fingers graze each other. Intellectually, I knew I was just where I was supposed to be, but emotionally, I wanted more.
From there my mind traveled to all the other places where I didn’t quite make the cut. The places that weren’t easy to get to. The places that kicked me out time and time again.
- Handstands
- Veganism
- Book Proposals
- Permanent Weight Loss
and then I thought of all the places where I’ve found immediate gratification in my past
- brownies
- wine
- sleeping in
- celebrity gossip
- reality TV
- shopping
Then my eyes softened and I started to smile. The tears vanished when I realized that immediate gratification is for sissies (and I’m no sissy).
Good work takes time. It took…
- More than 4 years to build the Golden Gate Bridge
- Noah more than 50 years to build the ark.
- Jesssica Watson 210 days to sail around the world when she was 16 years old.
- 15 years for James Cameron to bring Avatar to theaters.
- Michelangelo more than 4 years to paint the Sistine Chapel ceiling.
Designs date back to AD 200, but the first modern printing press came in 1439. The light bulb was invented by Thomas Edison in 1879, but the idea started as early as 1802 by Humphry Davy at the Royal Institution of Great Britain.
One of my favorite yoga teachers told me it took him years of yoga practice to touch his toes and when he finally did, his life wasn’t any better or worse than it was before. The joy isn’t always at the finish line. Beauty is not always found in completion. La Sagrada Familia is the most famous sight in Barcelona. Designed by Antoni Gaudi, the Roman Catholic basilica is unfinished. The architect began the job in 1883. Gaudi died in 1926 and work has continued on the building to this day.
Most of the overnight success stories that you read about took years. Don’t let the fact that you haven’t finished something yet discourage you. Don’t turn away from the things that you want most of all because they are hard, because they will take a long time, because you don’t think you have what it takes. You do.
I don’t think wine or email is bad or wrong, but pay attention to the reason you gravitate to the things that feel good for a moment. The easy things. The distracting things. When you do go there, pay attention to how you feel moments or days later.
I am not a sissy. I will do the work.
Maybe my hands will never touch in Bound Extended Side Angle Pose, but I will still reach. I will still do the work.
What do you want to do that feels out of reach?
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66 Responses to “Immediate Gratification is for Sissies”
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I really like this post. Inspiring.
Awesome post. Very inspiring indeed!
Thank you!
Oh Courtney, thanks for this post. I have a recent experience like this. My bodies been sick lately, I can’t wait up early worth my life, my body screamed at me during meditation, in yoga class I felt so out of practice and I felt like I was getting kicked really hard for all of this.
Then I heard this: “Don’t turn away from the things that you want most of all because they are hard, because they will take a long time, because you don’t think you have what it takes. You do.”
Thanks.
Thanks Kourtney. Sometimes our bodies need rest too. You know your body best so take care of you!
I am aiming for and working towards becoming a writer, which will help my family and I to travel, spend a year living in Canada, time living in Thailand and eventually help my husband and I to start our own business.
The truth is, I’m often impatient. Why can’t I have the success of you, or Joshua Becker, or Gretchen Rubin?
But that would be because:
A. I haven’t earned it.
B. That level of success, literally overnight, would freak. me. out. Regardless of what I say I “want”.
C. I haven’t earned it.
Thank you for the reminder of this simple, but really important truth.
Brooke – your point B really resonates with me. I wholeheartedly agree. As per my comment below I was desperate for a relationship post my marriage breakup – I tried to date twice and it was a miserable failure. Looking back now – it was just as you said, I wasnt ready for the overnight success even though I wanted it, and I definitely hadn’t earned it. I’m working on earning it now, and I know when the rewards come I will be ready.
Really incisive comment, thanks for the thought, it really makes sense to me.
Sounds like you’ve done a huge deal of learning over the past months, Chris. I doubt many people would be so insightful. It will certainly hold you in good stead over the coming months.
(PS. I really enjoyed your post on quitting the gym – I’m looking in to the YAYOG program now – to supplement my running program.)
Thanks Brooke – good luck with it! It’s a great way to get fit
Hi Brooke, I would suggest that you aren’t working towards becoming a writer, but are an actual writer. We all experience different levels of success at different times, and to make things more interesting, we all define success differently.
You’ve earned it, now go get it.
Thanks for the encouraging words, Courtney. (And it wasn’t really my intention to sound so whiny RE success. More an expression of my impatience – which is the whole point of the post I guess. Delayed gratification and all that!)
I will be using this as motivation to go get my successes though – so thank you. Again!
Courtney,
Absolute magic. My new goal in life is to attract all the things I want by being the best person I can be. Following a separation from a marriage of 14 years I am slowly but surely rebuilding myself to be an awesome fun loving person – its taking time and it is a two steps forward one step back process. I’m 40 and have realised that I have never known a true intimate relationship in my life, ever. Following my separation I thought it was all about trying to find someone awesome but it isn’t – its about making yourself as good as you can be in your own eyes. When you do this, the rest will fall into place. It sure isn’t overnight success … but I’m learning to enjoy the journey.
Thanks for the fantastic reminder, love your work!
Good luck on your journey Chris : ) It all takes time, it sounds like you have some life changing moments ahead of you.
Chris, It sounds like you’ve done a lot of growing. By figuring out what your best life looks like, you know who to include in it. Congrats on learning to enjoy the journey.
@Chris, I totally agree. It took me so long to realise that the only way to ‘find’ someone awesome was to become someone awesome. Then I could have an awesome person around 24/7. I’m still a work in progress, but my life has improved massively since I started looking for answers within & taking responsibility for my own happiness. (And I’ve been lucky enough to find someone amazing to share it with too. The thing is though, if she’d come along years ago, before I had done so much work on myself, I don’t think I would have recognised her awesomeness either, because I was too busy looking for all the wrong things in all the wrong places.
Bon voyage!
Thanks everyone for the kind words.
Elfster, that is fantastic. Would you be prepared to share some of the things you worked on – I’m always looking for great ideas. If you don’t want to post in detail here I’m happy to share my email address and would appreciate a mail.
Have a great day everyone!
Jackpot! Wow, Courtney, this has to be one of your best posts. Thanks for sharing your inspiration, wisdom and vision. The truth is so profound, yet simple, when we take the time to let it sink into our hearts.
Best Regards.
Cath, more and more I find that the simple truth is the really good stuff. Thanks for your kind words.
This is a great post – thank you. Just what I needed to read today. Also, I love Kourtney’s quote too, it’s perfect.
I can so relate to this post! (possibly because I can’t yet accomplish downward facing dog with my heels on the floor…) The thing I want to accomplish that I know is going to take lots of time and practice is learning to use my DSLR camera – in manual mode!
Cheri, Sometimes my heels touch and sometimes they don’t & you will love manual mode on your SLR. If you have a light meter, use that to start. It helps to make all the numbers make sense.
Thank you! This is one to print and save. My beloved husband reminds me, sometimes daily – okay, so you didn’t do that today, BUT you did do XYZ. He always redirects my focus away from what I can’t do (or my failures) and reminds me of things I was/am capable of doing.
Thank you for the reinforcement.
Working so hard on my own project ( The Stripper Project) and I am making a choice every day to stay encouraged rather than let myself get discouraged. There are many things going on in my world right now, but it is key for me to always remember to keep moving forward. So you’re right, it’s important to always be reaching and putting in the work. The work is the journey.
I finally mastered crow pose. It took a long time but one day (last Friday) it clicked. And that moment was a wonderful moment.
woohoo Alyssa!
Wow, just what I needed to hear to help me along my parenting journey!
I want to operate from a place that is gratitude and abundance and not a place of lack and fear. I’m working on it daily. Everyday I ask for trust in myself, remembering how great my life really is and to reach a place where I can wake in the am with a smile on my face and not question all that is great in my world and how much more I will accomplish.
So I strive to reach a place that has less self doubt and my mind and spirit is always facing forward with confidence. I awake thinking with a positive attitude and not one of dread. Its coming but it is work! Thanks for the reminder.
Not a sissy!
Catherine
Loved this post, thank you!
Favorite line: “One of my favorite yoga teachers told me it took him years of yoga practice to touch his toes and when he finally did, his life wasn’t any better or worse than it was before.”
That reminded me of how I lost 20lbs in a single month after a heart-shattering breakup. I was thinner than I ever thought I’d be in this lifetime. I looked “great” (as defined by the media/fashion industry) in photographs. But was I any happier? Was my life any better? Absolutely not. Even after living and experiencing the truth of this, it is all too easy to forget.
Thanks for the reminder that joy is found in the day-to-day process of living our truth and not in the results we’re trying to reach.
That was an interesting insight, I definitly feel very sissyish when I eat deserts/brownies that I dont need
I never thought about what your yoga teacher had said about life being the same after he could touch his toes. Very zen 
Anyways I understand how frustrating it can be to want to be able to do the hard stuff now. It becomes so much more personal. I really really love the idea of being vegan and I’m not even a vegaterian. Silly I know. I guess sometimes its more than just instant gradification but falling in love with the idea of something. Sometimes we can love the idea of something like crazy but it just isnt working out. Its worth the struggle to not have regrets. If your interested I found a really awesome blog on veganism. Its called the golden banana and it is very helpful. Lots of great ideas. Hope the info can help people here.
Thanks Jen, I will check it out!
Courtney, I am so sorry I gave you bad information, the website is actually called vegan coach and the news letter is called the golden banana. Its a free monthly newsletter with recipes etc. The gal who runs it with her husband will answer any questions you have. Its very good info for anyone wanting to try a healthy way of life especially if money is tight and free is a must. Anyhow sorry about the mix up
Wonderful post! Just what I needed to think about today! (Nailed me with that list of instant grats, too. Yikes, they look even more useless when they’re lined up in a long column like that!) Thx!
Anything worth doing is worth doing right! Thank you for reminding me of this.
Good lord, did I write this post and forget all about it? It sounds exactly like me… right down to the celebrity gossip. (Also..? Pinterest.) In fact, I had just laid mopey me down to read fb with a big, chocolate bar because, sniff, today was very hard…. but after reading your post, I might have to reconsider my plans for the evening.
Glad I got to you first!
Courtney, thank you for sharing something that seemed so hard for you! I can relate, quite literally! In a yoga class the other week there was a pose I’d never done at the end, and I got a little frustrated and embarrassed when I didn’t have the flexibility to find it completely.
How silly, right? And who was really making me feel embarrassed? Only myself, really.
Just like everything in life, you have to start somewhere! The one who takes the first step is more courageous than the one who never does.
Thanks for the reminder!
Amanda, I learn so many important life lessons in Yoga. It does seem silly but those frustrations still happen!
This is a very empowering post and something that many should focus on.
I never thought I could be a writer or pursue a creative path, but this time last year I started my blog, and just a few weeks ago I finished my first succinct, motivating eBook on the influence of words and how people could start using them to change their reality, actions, and mindset.
It really is all about perseverance and focusing on the positive, no matter how daunting something may be.
Excellent post
Wahoo! congrats Paul.
Not having read all the previous notes, Thank you. This post is so encouraging. Thank you.
Thank you for the reminder!
I’m definitely falling into sissey mode, and that’s not me! I can accomplish what I want if I’m willing to use my time well!
I’m going to make a plan & start moving towards
thank you,x
I want to homeschool myself (I’m a sophmore in highschool). But I’m terrified it will ruin my chances at high school because I’ll mess it up and because I don’t have the money.
Thanks for the encouragement. Maybe I can do it.
Keep me posted Renee! What do your parents think?
My mother says I’m allowed to do it, but that she won’t help. So I’m on my own if I do it.
So far, the plan is to experiment with homeschooling after school for the rest of the semester, and if it works out, homeschool for my junior and senior year.
Thanks for the support!
Courtney – Congratulations for making so many of your readers see their challenges differently. This is how we try to affect the people we sponsor through the 12 Step program. Having gone through the program ourselves 20 years ago, my husband and I now try to help others realize that they can reach this goal of sobriety, that they can become the person they want to be.
Wow Sandy. Thanks for doing such great work.
Hi Courtney:
I do yoga too. Remember, in yoga as in so many other things, its the journey, not the destination. Keep reaching!
What do I think is unreachable for myself? A fear-free life, a life and home with out mess and clutter and dirt, more self discipline, more self confidence, more self esteem, lots more money in the bank. Better health, true love, extreme fitness (ordinary fitness being just not ‘enough’, of course). These are some of the things that I fancy would bring me satisfaction. I guess continuing to breath in and out and getting to walk around planet earth every day just doesn’t cut it for me.
Thanks for your wonderful,thought provoking soul shaking posts.
Lois, All of those thing are achievable and well worth the wait and work. It sounds like you have an exciting journey on your hands.
Good post.
The challenge to those of us who are in our 6th or 7th decade is to do the things we want to do in moderation. The setbacks that come with pushing myself too hard remind me that moderation is the secret as well as joy in the journey.
Hey Courtney, that is the worldwide problem.
Everyone is expecting, that he or she gets it right now and right here, with no work, no time.
No one, even here in germany is up to spending work or time in a goal he/she wants to reach!
For me it takes even 12 years to get smokefree. So the next project or goal can come!
And you, what goal is yours?
Wahoo! Congrats on being smoke free. That is a big accomplishment. My goal (if you can call it that) is to continue to focus on getting started and enjoying the journey instead of the end result.
“The joy isn’t always at the finish line. Beauty is not always found in completion.” Beautiful words, my friend. I knew there was a reason I was so drawn to and captivated by La Sagrada Familia.
You should take me there.
This is just what I needed to hear today. This summer our family is taking a six-week road trip that been three years in the making (explicitly) and is the culmination of at least ten years of conscious, difficult, parenting. I know that everything won’t be roses and sunshine when we do it, but I keep trying to remember that the important thing is **that we’re trying at all.** It’s good to remember that we’re all working towards something.
Bret, I can’t wait to hear how it goes. Enjoy every moment. Even the non-rosey, sunshiny moments.
I loved this post. Thank you for speaking directly into my heart. I needed to be reminded of this important message.
Thank you for such eloquence!
I have longed to break out of the poverty line for three years now. I have been to a good college; and did very well when there. I had earned status and money in my first career, but decided to save what was left of my humanity and conscience before I turned into a stone. I am realizing that ‘path’ is not always a paved thing. Eckhart Tolle said he stuggled in finding the right kind of job well into his 40s.
Thank you for helping me realize that this moment IS amazing because my struggle means something in some way. I want to work for something that really matters to me.
I love this post!
Since yesterday every time I enter the kitchen I repeat “immediate gratification is for sissies” and can leave without eating anything.
Thank you, thank you!
Thanks Courtney for this post! I love that we can find beauty in the journey. It really revolutionizes the all-too-common mindset of immediate gratification. We all want it, or at least, THINK we want it. But the journey teaches us so much and the small steps can actually be enjoyable. I just came across your blog today because it was linked to Leo Babauta’s blog. I perused it a little bit and I really love your posts, although I’ve only read a few. I added you to my RSS feed. Thanks again and keep up the good work!
Don’t give up on the trying the veganism
I have been vegan for 2.5 years and vegetarian for 4.5 years. It is a process and a journey to learn how to eat differently but keep at it. I lost the weight that I have been trying to lose for year after I went vegan so that will knock off two goals 
Great post. Sometimes I get so caught up getting things NOW that I forget that the best things in my life have taken and continue to take time to develop and maintain (my marriage, education, being a parent, being a women).
Love this post! Thanks… always good to be reminded and challenged