10 Things You Should Quit Today
Quitters never win and winners never quit. That’s a saying you may have heard before. I’d like to challenge that. I understand the importance of teaching children the lesson of persistance and sticktoitiveness, but we aren’t children anymore.
We are adults learning to live life with intention and purpose. Sometimes a life like that requires quitting. Let go of the guilt and find the value in ending something so you begin something else. Consider that the journey may be more important than the finish line.
10 things you should quit today:
1. Reading. If you are an avid reader, you probably read a book from front to back, even when the book is not very good. What if you quit after chapter 5? No one is hurt because you stopped reading, and you just created a block of time to read something you like better.
2. Watching. How many bad movies have you sat through in your life? Why? Because you thought it would get better? Because you spent money? Because you still had a box of Junior Mints to get through? Spend your time more thoughtfully. If the movie is bad, excuse yourself and do something else, or nothing at all.
3. Fixing people. You may want to change the world, but it is not your job to save or fix everyone or anyone you meet. Love deeply and give freely, but don’t hold yourself responsible for another person’s choices.
4. Learning something. If you are taking a course that you hate, or are working towards a degree that doesn’t make sense for what you want your life to be like, switch gears. The skills you acquire along the way will matter. You don’t have to prove to anyone that you can finish.
5. Your job. Just because you are really good at what you do, doesn’t mean that is what you are supposed to do. Quiting a job takes more planning than quitting a book, but it can be done. It’s been almost 2 months since I quit a job I was really good at. I walked away from a 15 year career and now I wake up happy every day. I sleep better. I look forward to doing good work instead of hard work. I live in joy instead of dread.
6. Being comfortable. It’s easy to get comfortable, but often the answers are in discomfort. When you get uncomfortable, stay there for a bit instead of retreating to comfort.
7. Comparing. If you measure your worth by how you stack up to others, you will lose everytime. A life of comparison becomes one of competition. Choose to collaborate and create instead of comparing and competing and let the magic happen.
8. Saying yes. If you are pleasing everyone but yourself, it might be time to start saying no. “No thank you.” works almost every time.
9. Protecting yourself. You may want to play it safe and protect yourself, but I would suggest that you might be missing something. Be vulnerable. Be open. Face fear. Really live.
10. Trying to make it work. In a yoga class I took this weekend, while I was hanging out in a pose that made my legs shake, the instructor suggested backing off and letting go to fully appreciate the pose. Not just in a yoga pose, but in day to day life, sometimes to go deeper, you have to let go instead of try harder. All that pushing, reworking and forcing might set you back.
This isn’t permission to give up or quit when the going gets tough or things aren’t going your way. This is permission to quit something that does not add value to your life and takes you away from doing meaningful work and living a happy life. This is permission to choose.
I’ve quit so many things over the past 5 years and feel better than ever. I did make the mistake of sitting through a bad movie Friday night. What made it even worse though is that instead of trying to find anything good about it, I kept thinking about why I wasn’t walking out.
This intentional life on purpose stuff is a work in progress and the work is never finished. Quit trying to wrap it up, speed it up, or arrive at your destination. Appreciate that you are right where you are supposed to be.
What do you want to quit or what do you wish you quit a long time ago?
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44 Responses to “10 Things You Should Quit Today”
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Good tips! Life is too short to waste on stuff like this. I quit my job in order to focus on what was important like writing and my kid. Look forward to your next post!
Peace,
Annie at annienygma.com
Thanks Annie, Good for you!
Great tips! I definitely need to learn to say no to things!
However, what I’ve found in my generation is that people quit things too readily without considering the long term effects. I’ve seen it in siblings, friends, and acquaintances. They try things, it doesn’t quite work the way they immediately thought, so they quick. We are a generation in fear of commitments. I think we could learn the lessons of quitting on occasion, but to see things through.
It’s quite funny how my generation has done a 180 from the generation that toughed it out to the generation that doesn’t want to get into things too deeply.
I think people crave getting into things more deeply more than ever. Often that means letting go or quitting the things that you don’t allow that. You can’t do it all and do it well. By taking the time and making decisions to do the things that are really meaningful, you can go deep, honor commitments and genuinely contribute.
I think the problem is that my generation “thinks” they want to get into things deeply, but once they do, they realize it’s not the perfect thing they thought…they don’t want to put in the dull/boring work to get to the “perfect” thing they want to do. I keep seeing this more and more with people younger than me. They quit. Try something new. Quit that. Want to go back to the other thing. Quit that again. Try something else. Don’t like that. Quit yet again. I think my generation and the younger ones have this idea that we should do whatever makes us happy in this exact moment rather than toughing something out for a little while if it will eventually get us to a better place because it’s not awesome RIGHT NOW! It’s the instant gratification generation…I think there has to be a balance between toughing it out and knowing when to quit. My generation is seems to be having a rough time figuring out that toughing it out can be worth it!
Quitting is a concept I’ve struggled with for a while. Quitting is strongly tied to ends and goals, striving and working towards something. Recently, I’ve made the conscious decision to let go of the future (I can’t control it. What am I, a wizard?), and instead take part in what I like to call the “toe-curling, arms-to-the-sky, full-throated rebel yell celebration of the path.” I wrote about it on my blog.
Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and wisdom. I do enjoy your little corner of the world.
Hi Courtney! Pls permit me to call you an advocate of ‘unconventional wisdom’. We are living in desperate times when almost everyone wants to get to his/her destination faster than a rocket! Nobody wants to be left behind. The question is where are we really heading for? Who knows? Almost everyone wants to earn recognition for self agrandisement. Courtney, I can figure out that your point of view is simply for us to live a life of happiness and fulfillment and not a life of ‘the trend’. I believe the only way to achieve this is to help our brothers and sisters at social risk in this same planet of ours. Nothing gives more joy than that.
Obed, I couldn’t have said it any better. Thanks for your thoughtful contribution.
I often quit books if I don’t find them interesting after a few chapters. I would suggest after deciding to quit it, get rid of it. Either sell at the used book store, donate it, or give it away. I have a tendency to let books sit around even when I’ve decided not to read them anymore. I have been trying lately to get the books moving on after I finish them or decide I don’t want to read them anymore.
Eric, I donated a ton of books during my first round of decluttering and am now letting the rest go. I’m not sure why I held onto them, knowing I won’t read them again. Off they go!
I almost didn’t read this because the headline starts with a number, but it was a good post in spite of that.
I liked #’s 3 and 8. Also 1, 2 and 4, which are all kinda the same, and the concept can be broadened to things like hobbies and activities, too, that we begin, then lose interest in, but feel obligated to continue with. Once any activity ceases to fulfill a real purpose or offer pleasure or other reward, it is time to let it go.
Mike, I can always count on you to keep me in line. I was going to name the post “Permission to Quit” but changed my mind after writing it. Thanks for reading anyway!
Great stuff Courtney! We are so bad to feel like we “have” to do things just because that is what society is doing. Life would be so much easier if we’d give ourselves permission to stop doing some of these things today!
Bernice
Agreed Bernice!
The concept of digging deep into a choice, whether it be book, movie , or job, is crucial to what I am hearing you say; the journey is not all roses but can be tough and rewarding – Steve Jobs worked hard and still got kicked out of Apple – he knew what he was good at and came back with a very positive vengeance.
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I remember in grade school, my mom, siblings and I watched a movie on TV which was truly awful – we kept watching it because we couldn’t believe (this was in the 60s and it was an older movie) someone could make and market this film. We did achieve balance – our family films became “Hatari” and “Monty Python and the Holy Grail.” Hmm..what does that say about our family
I would love to quit my job but I cannot afford to do so; I chose to find one good thing every shift, to study more deeply, to act more precisely in order to fulfill my personal vocation, and practice very good care for my patients and boss. My income supports not only myself but my rescue dogs – I can do with a lot less (thanks to your blog and others, I am on a good minimizing track) but won’t let them be lost again.
Roberta, if you can’t do what you love, LOVE what you do.
I am 21 and enjoy reading yours and Leo’s posts. I am so thankful to realize all of this at such a young age. I am in my senior year of college and already promised myself that I am not going to just get a job to get a job. I am going to love it and it;s going to be my “p[lay” not work, even though I don’t know what it is yet I am going to take the time to figure it out instead of just working to work. Thanks for your posts!
Lauren, Congrats on thinking about what really matters to you at such a young age. I hope you will let me know what you decide to do.
I really would LOVE to go into something like you have. If you check out my website and let me know if I am going to the right direction at all that would be awesome! I really want to have freedom and my “own” life instead of just working to “live.” I would love feedback to know if I really could make a difference. Thanks!!! Love your site!
Number 3 took a long time to quit – and even today I have to remind myself to stop doing it. Number 5 was pretty easy to do though!
Ah . . . quit reading something that’s bad. I actually did that recently, and I didn’t stop because it was bad . . . it just wasn’t the right time for me to read it. I actually read it a few months later and it turned out to be amazing. Great point about that.
Walking out of a movie because it sucks. Yes. Did that — friend went nuts. Explained it almost in a way that you did, just not so eloquently, and they understood . . . surprisingly.
Love the article. Shocked me at first when I read the words Quit and Reading. I was like uh oh, but after realizing the truth, the article was that much more interesting.
I got halfway to my black belt in Tae Kwon Do a few years ago, then stopped. I took a lot of heat for “quitting.” The truth is, I used to enjoy it, then I got tired of it and wanted to try something new. Same thing with the community band I played in. I liked it for 3 years, hated it for one year, and finally stopped. It was fun for a while, but doesn’t fit my life right now. I’m taking a lot of heat for that one, too.
I will not feel guilty about this! (keep saying this to myself.)
Love this post! I’m working on “quitting” some of these things right now. Namely my job – I just accepted a new job that is basically my dream job but pays less than what I’m making now…but it’s a sacrifice I’m willing to make for my happiness and to ultimately be more productive at work.
Clara, You will be surprised about how much more time means than money. If you are really enjoying what you are doing, making less will not feel like a sacrifice.
This is EXACTLY how I feel Courtney!!
I really like #6! The allure of the “comfortable” life is so tempting, but if we’re honest with ourselves, we’ll realize that it’s in the uncomfortable moments that we learn and grow the most. A great life isn’t characterized by comfort; it’s characterized by a commitment to a cause greater than yourself, one that you really care about.
Keep up the awesome writing, Courtney!
Yet another one of your writing works of art!
So #10. This one I started practicing and realized how much easier things are coming to me. When I first moved to the Island I committed to doing Yoga. So I went at it like everything I do, especially athletically. 110%
I was fortunate enough to have a yoga teacher who feels the same as you does. Don’t try to make the pose happen. Create the pose as it should be. From the place where you are. It will open up great things because you have space to let it happen.
I find it’s true of everything else I do as well.
Mahalo for all the awesome thoughts in this post.
Jt, I always love how what you learn on the mat applies to everything else in life.
Good stuff, Courtney. #5 particularly rings true for me. Too many stick it out at awful, soul-crushing jobs because they feel they don’t have any other choice. And to leave would mean they failed at it. I quit my job a couple months ago and couldn’t be happier. It was scary but the right thing to do!
Good points, Courtney. Number 1 is something I can do at times, which is continue to read a book I don’t enjoy. I’ve made a point to read at least 100 pages of a book, before I put it down, but most of the time, I will just try and read faster to finish. I don’t like to leave books unfinished, but you said it well, that it isn’t always the best use of your time.
Cathy, It can be a hard habit to break, but one worth breaking if the point is to enjoy rather than finish.
Thanks for the post – sometimes I need to be reminded that I have choices about how and with whom I spend my time.
We have not gone to see a movie in years. Actually the last movie we saw in a movie theater was the first Sex & and the City. Much cheaper and easier to push eject. Way less stressful and guilt-free too! Much to be said for our Public Library!!!!!!
Thanks Courtney! Your blog is amazing. I’m from Brazil, I’m happy to discovery your blog. Hugs!
thanks for a great post. I’ve been following your blog for a while and have really enjoyed your writing on simplicity and letting go. Perhaps one of the hardest things is deciding when to quit a relationship. So complicated and multi-layered, especially when kids are involved. When do you stop working on it? When do you call it quits? How do you know if you’ll be better off staying or going? Ah, I wish it were as simple as leaving a bad movie.
I agree with #7 definitely
With this post, you really challenge the status quo, Courtney. Kudos to you! However, while there is certainly value in going against the grain, I would ask you to keep in mind the importance of reading, observing, and learning.
I’m going through the internship process right now, and to be honest, I’d be willing to take any offer that comes my way. With the job market as tough as it is, there are limited opportunities available to college students as internships are generally an easy cost to trim.
“This is permission to quit something that does not add value to your life.” Well-said.
Joe Viviano
joesmusings@gmail.com
Great suggestions, will try #6.
I quit watching TV more than 10 years ago and it’s something I don’t miss at all.
Agree about books and movies. And I no longer keep the books I didn’t like much (or didn’t even finish) and sell them or donate on bookmooch.com
I only want to see things I LOVE in my house!
What is it like to live in joy instead of dread? Quitting a job I don’t really love would be wonderful. I am not ready to quit a paycheck that I really love, however. I love my paycheck, that is the catch. That is the reason why I don’t quit and wake up happy that I don’t have to get up and rush around (I actually don’t rush but I do have to move in the direction of leaving whether I want to or not and lately, I really don’t want to.
I am captivated by fear and so stuck in my ways.
I need to ask and answer ‘soul shaking’ questions. Fear is stopping me from doing so. I am considering doing it.
Thanks for all the great and inspirational posts. I am very glad you quit so I can benefit from your writing!
Thanks for this post ! Really relevent to me. I’m quitting the diploma I hate in college as it has nothing to do with who I want to be and really want to do with my life. Its a scary desicion and was looking for some encouragement. the diploma is a level 3 in business administration but what I love to do more than anything is play the electric guitar. While I’m at college, I have no money to pursue what I love. e.g. going to gigs, getting out meeting people, networking with musicians. I have decided to quit because its hurting my soul to do and I’m not even getting paid for it. I think even an admin apprenticeship would be preferable as at least I’d be getting paid ! Also about quitting reading, I was an avid reader and set myself targets of things to read. I had a list of books that were on my mind to read. Now, I want to free myself of that stupid list. In an ideal world, yes, I would read them all, but you only have a certain amount of time in life and I kind of feel this list has trapped me into a way of rigid thinking. I always have it somewhere on the back of my mind that I should read all these books but I think I want to free myself of all that now. Life is for living, and experience. Especially while your still relatively young.