The Fine Art of Limitation
You are faced with endless decisions to make each day. You are blessed with the power of choice and often cursed with too many options. Just think about a trip to the grocery store without a list. You could be lost in the cereal aisle for hours.
You can have everything you want and more, and if you don’t have the money for it, someone will lend it to you. Excessive options don’t just apply to stuff, but also to how we spend our time, what we eat, where we go, how we go there and who goes with us.
I understand that there are places and people without choice, and we are lucky to have it, but know that self-imposed limitation actually expands quality of life.
The purpose of limits is not deprivation or suffering, but a way to decide what you really need, what you really want, and how you want to live your life. When you free up your space and time, you can …
- love more deeply
- discover what is most important
- learn something new
- visit new places
- spend less
- save more
- rest
- create
Self imposed limits invite you to examine how you are living today. With the following suggestions, you can see if more really is better, or if by having fewer choices, you feel more settled and focused. The latter has certainly been my experience.
The fine art of limitation is about finding what works best for you. Don’t confuse setting limits with controlling the world. This isn’t an exercise in being obsessive, succeeding or failing. It’s simply an observation and a chance to purposefully redirect your attention.
How to impose limits
Say No
There is a saying that goes something like, “I can only please one person a day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow isn’t looking good either.” It’s hard to say no, but your honesty will be appreciated. If you say “no thank you”, you are honest and human and protecting your time. If you say yes and fall short, you are unreliable. You want to please everyone, but start by prioritizing who you want to please first. You can learn more about why you should say no in this video interview.
Experiment
Start with your closet and commit to dress with 33 items for 3 months. That includes clothing, shoes, jewelry and accessories. When you are comfortable with that, Try the The 100 Thing Challenge. Test your boundaries and dare to be uncomfortable. There are answers in that discomfort. Remember that these experiments are temporary. You can gather information to help you live your best life.
Fast
Quit something you love. Fasting generally applies to food, but you can fast from anything, food or otherwise. If you drink coffee everyday, take a week-long coffee fast. If you check your email first thing in the morning, declare an email fast. Look for the excess in your life and impose a fast.
Recommended Reading
- The 100 Thing Challenge: How I Got Rid of Almost Everything, Remade My Life, and Regained My Soul
- Simplify
- Living in the Land of Enough
- Sabbath: Finding Rest, Renewal, and Delight in Our Busy Lives
I want you to have everything you deserve, and by setting limits, you’ll discover that everything you deserve is available. A lovely life is yours for the asking.
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I like your comment about saying ‘No’. Such a small and powerful word when used appropriately, but often very difficult to actually say for some.
I think this is often linked to habits and trying to please all of the people all of the time, which of course is impossible.
In real life, saying no at the right time can build a lot of respect.
The hard part is knowing what to say ‘no’ to.
Wow – powerful post. Thank you for sharing those words. I find this topic very applicable to me right now and in particular I loved the phrase “I can only please one person a day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow isn’t looking good either.” This made me grin and I instantly wanted to find a place to apply it! Also liked the idea of the 33 items challenge. I have a number of clothing items that never get worn. I’m thinking a good clean out this weekend is in order
Great post! To me, it’s about priorities and mindfulness. We need to stop and actually think about if we really need all that stuff, or if we really need to be committed to all those activities, and so on, rather than thoughtlessly going through life without questioning anything.
Perfectly said, Jennifer!! Priorities and mindfulness. Just taking a pause and asking if it’s necessary, needed, even really desired to be busy/stressed/committed/in debt.
Rock on guys! And to hell with the current political paradigm – infinite and perpetual growth, sprawl and dominion in every human sphere.
Love/hugs, JB