I write about and sing the praises of living a healthy lifestyle, simplifying your life, and doing work that matters, but the truth is that even though the smoothie above is delicious, and I hope you try it, I don’t want to eat this way.
When I wake up in the morning, I’m not excited to get the blender out and make a green smoothie. I don’t always want to drink green juice, eat a big plate of spinach, or stay away from junk food. What I want is a stack of pancakes or a giant waffle with strawberries and whipped cream. A side of bacon and a runny egg would be great too.
And before breakfast, the last thing I want to do is workout. I don’t want to sweat, breathe hard, or any of that. I didn’t want to clean out my garage either or spend years paying off my debt. If I think about it, there isn’t much I want to do until I do it. Maybe that’s lazy or unmotivated, but I think it’s more about natural resistance. With exception of adrenaline junkies who like to jump off cliffs and run ultra marathons, most of us want the path of least resistance. We want all of the benefits and none of the work.
So why do I do things I don’t want to do?
I truly believe that we should choose how we spend our time and engage in activities that bring real joy to our lives. So why do I things I don’t want to do? Luckily, with the exception of paying taxes and a few other things, I find the joy once I get started doing things I don’t want to do.
I do the things I don’t want to do so …
- I can be healthy
- I can feel energized and creative
- Because I am curious
- I can keep my MS silent
- I can be open to trying things that scare me
- Because they usually turn out to be enjoyable
I also do them because once I get started, it’s all I want. The first few minutes before the blender starts, or before I get into my workout gear, I want to jump back in bed, make waffles or order pizza and have a Hugh Grant movie marathon, but I know where that goes and make a choice to go another way.
This goes for work too. Yes, I do work I love. My boss is great, and I work with the best people, but sometimes I don’t want to do things. I don’t want to do accounting, or administrative stuff, or deal with certain parts of my work. Even when it comes to writing, there are things I don’t want to do. I don’t want to write the book proposal I’m working on, but I really want to write the book, so I am doing the work.
I slip and slide, eat things I really want, and skip the gym, watch movies, and drink too much wine, but I never feel really great when I do. And what I want more than anything is to feel really great so I can embrace the best parts of my life.
Maybe you think you are too busy to choose?
When your life is on auto-pilot, making healthy choices can seem impossible. I know how it feels. I used to eat and work in my car most of the day in between appointments.
Waking up any earlier to workout or finding time to create a new career felt completely out of reach. So, what do you do when you are too busy to choose? You still choose. As Thomas Edison said, “When you have exhausted all possibilities, remember this – you haven’t.”
You make a choice to wake up 5 minutes earlier, work late, skip the waffles or to simply take a break from the busy and decide what you are going to choose to do next.
We are more alike than you think.
So that’s it, if you think I’m inclined to do the things that I do. I”m not.
I wasn’t born a kale lover and I’m not naturally excited to exercise. If you want to know how I grew my blog into a successful business, or how I eat mostly fruits and vegetables, or how I stay active, it’s not about motivation, determination, or skill. It’s because I do things that I don’t want to do. I do things that make me uncomfortable, things that I don’t think I’m capable of doing and things I don’t know how to do.
I wish that some of the books I’ve read, or health and business coaches would talk more about that. We have to do things we don’t want to do to be who we want to be and feel how we want to feel. And once we push through that tiny bit (or really big chunk) of resistance, we usually find we are doing exactly what we want.
If you want to get out of your slump, simplify your life, create a new career, start a new relationship, or try something you’ve never done before, simply do what you don’t want to do. You don’t have to be inspired or motivated and you don’t have to want it right away. Just start.
OK, you’ve made me feel a little better. Because I’ve always thought really successful people liked doing the hard stuff. They liked the kale and the sweating. They liked the accounting and the green drinks. Maybe there is hope for me…
A million hugs for this post!
Susie
Susie, maybe some of them do, but that hasn’t been my experience. There is certainly hope for you! xo
Thank you for this. I also struggle with eating a strict diet due to health issues. In fact, the last few weeks I got completely fed up and reverted to old habits. Sure enough, my symptoms are all flaring badly and I feel even more like I’m being punished. Reading this reminds me to reframe how I’m looking at the situation which makes it more bearable.
Feel better Kristen. When I get to where you are now, I always know how to get back. I don’t want to, but once I do, I’m so grateful.
Come back!
THANK YOU Courtney for this post! It is so so true what you are saying, and I’m so happy to hear someone else speak this truth. This inspires me to do better. Thank you.
So glad Melissa.
I feel more hopeful about life now. Thank you for sharing.
Happy to share Soumya and happy you are hopeful.
Thank you for this post. Reading blogs of successful people I always think of how I wish I was that driven or disciplined, because I constantly find myself tired and not wanting to do things that I know I should. I always wonder if I’m lazy or something. I do end up doing them, but in the beginning it feels like I’m in zombie mode, just going through motions with no excitement. But like you said, once I start doing it, I usually end up loving it. I really hate the thought of exercise but I love every work out I do. Thank you for the inspiration. I’m not alone in this…
Nope, not alone! We are all in this together.
I have Celiac Disease, am lactose intolerant, and have to follow a low FODmap diet in order to keep my body happy. I don’t want to eat this way either, but it’s necessary to have enough energy to be a good mom to my daughter, to have a great relationship with my husband, do the work I love, be there for my friends, to practice yoga. When I cheat on my diet, I can end up in bed or in the bathroom for hours. I’m no good to anyone. Sometimes we have to do things we don’t want to do to be the best we can be.
I know how you feel Kayla. I just think it’s great that you’ve identified a diet that works well for you and that you are paying attention. Awesome!
This is really one big paradox in Life. We know what’s good, healthy and energizing and we long for the opposite and do it as well. Thank you for this reminder. It certainly helps me to understand myself even more. There are some areas in my life where I just have to start, and start, and start all over again.
Anki, I am always starting over and feel blessed that I get that opportunity.
I can definitely relate to this! We transitioned into a whole foods, plant based diet about eight months ago and brought our four kids along with us for the ride 🙂 We follow Dr. Fuhrman’s recommendations and some days are definitely better than others. There were days, even five months in, when I felt like I just wanted to be able to put everyone in the car and pick up dinner at a drive thru! We’re eight months in now and it is getting easier and easier as we learn more and it becomes our new normal. I don’t miss take out food anymore (though I do miss the convenience).
My children’s asthma has improved, our hay fever has improved, I’m almost back to what I weighed in high school. My husband has lost 40 pounds and reversed fatty liver disease and no longer has chronic heartburn. The list goes on but this comment is getting long…
I’ll just add that we’ve been simplifying for over a year now in prep for selling our too big house and moving to something smaller so we have more free time. Our original motivation was my chronic back pain. Your website has helped to keep me going sometimes. Thanks for all you do!
Thanks Amy and congrats on your upcoming move. Dr. Fuhrman’s plan and recommendations are great and I’ve been inching my way back. Food makes all the difference.
Courtney,
Thank you for being so honest. Two years ago I joined Jillian Michael’s online weight loss program, and lost 19 lbs. in 6 months. During that time, I came across something that I read about Jillian – that she doesn’t like to exercise sometimes! I was flabbergasted! Like so many others, I thought someone like Jillian must love exercising and eating right. If more successful people would be honest about the hard work that goes into what they excel at, and how they feel about that work, we might all be more inclined to do what we know is best for us.
Here’s a favorite inspirational quote: “Action precedes motivation”. Just start. Take action, even a small action, and usually the motivation to continue will come. Sometimes I tell myself that I don’t have to walk for 30 minutes today, only 5 minutes, and then I can decide if I want to do more. After 5 minutes, I almost always don’t mind it as much as I did before I got started! Cool!
Gail
I love that Gail. Thanks for sharing!
Great post, Gail!! A variation on the quote you mentioned is “Motion precedes emotion.” If we can just start, we can move mountains.
All right, this might be the finest piece of inspirational writing that I have ever. read.
After moving from Los Angeles to Austin two months ago, I’ve been able to do what I don’t want to do in some areas, like overcoming my introverted tendencies to reach out and make new friends, secure employment, return to a healthier way of eating, save for a house, and explore our new city… But I’ve been struggling with other areas, and kind of beating myself up about it.
The clear simple reminder that it’s not always SUPPOSED to feel good to do what’s good for us was just what I needed today.
Thank you.
Glad it was helpful Elizabeth and congrats on all of your positive changes. Way to go!
Thanks for this post! I’ve been spending my summer trying to do exactly what you are saying and you are right. I didn’t want to walk twice a day but I feel is much better when I do and I even look forward to those times now. I’m trying so hard to move out of my comfort zone and your honesty is great to read.
It’s funny how we have this notion that we need to feel like doing something in order to do it! I find it helps to start slow and build up. I started walking slowly for 15 minutes a day and now (a few years later) I am striding up hills for 35 minutes and loving it. Just a few questions …do you find that the smoothie is filling? Does it stave off the hungries for long? I want to improve my diet, but find I get hungry really fast.
If you are able to have a small handful of walnuts with your smoothie it will keep your hungries at bay. Walnuts contain just enough protein to satisfy and the omega 3’s are good for you too.
If you are able to have a small handful of walnuts with your smoothie it will keep your hungries at bay. Walnuts contain just enough protein to satisfy and the omega 3’s are good for you too.
Wow, this is exactly what I needed today. Thank you so much.
Love love love this post!
Getting out of bed now with the intention of going to the gym class I haven’t been to before. New stuff is always scary but I can choose it anyway.
Xx
Courtney you nailed it!
Doing the stuff we don’t want to do has the biggest rewards. And the choice to “do the right thing” for our bodies, our minds and our soul is almost ALWAYS the hardest…until it’s easy. But then it’s hard again tomorrow *sigh* and we’ve got to “just keep swimming” (I do love Nemo!).
I love that you choose hard.
Courtney, thank you for this. Some people are freed by the notion that they can pick foods, exercise, people, and hobbies that deliver them deep fulfillment. Other people are motivated by the understanding that sometimes the things that bring us fulfillment in the long run are downright unpleasant as we experience them. To me, nothing is a greater motivator than accepting “I do not enjoy this right now, but this is something that is good nonetheless.” It’s actually the only line of thinking that motivates me to exercise. Again, thank you!
Thank you for this post. It is just what I needed to read, and it in itself is giving me some motivation to look at myself honestly – think about what I just need to do to get where I want to go – and do it. No excuses.
I’m struggling to find motivation this week because of some family issues, but I’m pushing through because my livelihood depends on it.
Another wonderful post Courtney; Thankyou! I often think about 2 articles I read along similar lines, one by artist Alisa Burke (she advocates to sketch everyday even though it may seem like a chore) and Aussie health and personal trainer Michelle Bridges (she knows that running hurts and isn’t fun most times… You just need to not think about it!). It’s reassuring to see others that excel in areas actually are just like us and that they do things they don’t want to. It’s a great antidote to the ‘do what makes you happy’ culture we live in today. Thankyou!
Thank you so much for your honesty. Just like the other comments, you helped me feel better about myself because of it. I’ve started to make some changes in my life, very positive ones. I back-slide a lot. But some things I’ve gotten better and better at doing. The biggest thing I’ve learned about myself is that I get frustrated easily if I don’t see quick results. I might be able to put in the effort once and I want everything to change IMMEDIATELY. I’ve learned that small progress is better than no progress and to build on small wins.
Ahhhh! To think that circa 1999 I was on an Atkins-type diet eating summer sausage and half a brick of cheese for dinner makes me wonder how I could do a complete 360 to a (mostly) whole foods, plant-based diet now. It is just what you said – I took action and figured things out along the way. My husband and I feel so much better. We don’t feel foggy. We have lost weight. Our skin is clear. It is always great to hear how others are doing it, so thank you for sharing your story so that others can share theirs!
This article and all the comments were extremely helpful. I liked the sentence that “we all want the benefits but not the work” because I had thought the same thing lately. It really helps to take a moment and step back and think about the realities of life. Nothing very good is accomplished without hard work. I’m kind of at a spot where I feel down emotionally and it’s hard to work up the energy to move forward. I guess you have to just suck it up and do it. Once again, Courtney, THANK YOU!
This post was fantastic!! I find that I eat healthy, feel better, then I slip up and eat the pizza and feel terrible the next day. Hard is ok. I need to remember that. Thanks for your words of inspiration.
Oh, I hear you about the diet. After three years on one very restrictive diet I’ve just started eating more like you in the last few weeks, on another restricted diet. And my body has to get used to the coconut, and the kale, and other foods I avoided on the last diet, so there’s really very little I can eat right now. It’s all hard work, andI just want some sugar! But I keep going.
This lesson of ‘just doing things that need to be done’ is one we are having trouble teaching to our teenaged daughter. Although she sees us constantly doing things we just have to do, I guess she thinks it doesn’t apply to her. But the rest of the family have figured it out. She just needs to start.
A dear friend of mine, years ago, said something that has stuck with me ever since: She said, “I don’t want to do this, but I want to have done it.” I think that’s pretty much the way it is for most of us.
Yes, a great post, really something to chew over mentally. I’ve been trying to get through to my kids that you have to do things you don’t want to, but that it’s really worth it. Except that applies to me too, especially with exercise which I have to stop avoiding if I want to see the benefits. Thanks, Courtney.
Courtney, thank you so much for your honesty. While trying to live a mindful, healthy, happy life, it’s easy to forget that not all of the things which feel good are steps on the path to long term happiness. There is a knee-jerk reaction in me that says forcing yourself to do anything automatically negates the benefits, but after reading this, I am re-evaluating that. I think I can see where it ties in with the conscious pause, the idea of taking a moment between each thought and the next action. Nothing good is ever easy – but not everything difficult is beneficial, either. You have definitely given me food for thought! Thank you.
Best post ever. Seriously. I feel the same way many mornings and it’s all about letting go of short-term gratification (AKA waffles) for long-term well-being. Thanks!
This post really spoke to me. I couldn’t stop thinking about it. Such great perspective on a constant struggle I feel like I deal with daily. Thank you for the perspective. I actually reflected on it on my own blog – so thank you!
You may as well have put “Dear Jenn,” at the beginning of this post because you were talking DIRECTLY TO ME! I SO needed to hear these words today. Thank you for your honesty and wisdom.
Wow, this was beautiful and exactly what I needed to hear! Thanks for taking the time to be open and honest about doing things you don’t want to do. You inspire me!
This is exactly what I needed to read just now. After a three-week tumble off the health wagon my body finally told me in no uncertain terms that I am being unkind to it by eating what I want, not what it wants or needs. Back to the green juices and low histamine, low grain and low sugar diet it is. It’s very very hard to eat that way, but it’s the only way for my health. You’ve reminded me not to feel sorry for myself but just get on with it. Thanks!
Your make a great point. It’s nice to know that others are faced with the same day to day choices, knowing that what they need to do isn’t always what they want to do, when, from the outside, it doesn’t look that way. Judging from the comments it seems like we all struggle with variations on this theme. We’re all in the same boat.
I don’t struggle with eating right but really struggle with getting things done. My family all seem to have the “I can’t be bothered’s”. I really admire people who can get up off the couch (or bed) and get to it.
I don’t have MS and I have passed the age where it would show up, but I have other health problems and have a VERY high risk of MS on both sides of my family, so I’ve looked into it. Have you heard about The Wahls Protocol? It is designed for people with MS, although I have experienced a profound improvement in health on it even though I do not have MS.