Before I got serious about living with less, I thought my stuff meant something. I thought it made me happy and thought more stuff could make me happier. In the end, it was mostly clutter, but I collected my things, one at a time with a seemingly good reason for each acquisition. Diamonds are not this girl’s best friend, but they used to be. It wasn’t just jewelry, but all the things I bought to lift me up, prove my worth, and demonstrate my love.
I bought stuff to fix heartaches, avoid stressful situations, to celebrate a good day, and to cover the pain of a bad one. I bought gifts to show other people how much I loved them, and how well I knew them. I made purchases to prove I could fit in and hang with the cool kids too. I bought a ring from one of my clients once. It was more than I had ever spent on a piece of jewelry. One night, after getting home late, I discovered my new puppy had chewed it up. I was frustrated and couldn’t understand how his big teeth managed to chomp this ring into a piece of crushed gold that would never fit around my finger again, but I had to laugh. It was another little sign that I was on the wrong path.
It was only when I stepped back from overspending and collecting stuff that I recognized how misguided my purchases were, and how I was attached to stuff for all the wrong reasons. The less I owned, and the less time I spent looking for more stuff, the happier I became. When I started to let go of all the things I thought meant so much, I realized they only meant something to the person I wanted people to believe I was, the person I thought I was supposed to be. After creating a little time and space and remembering who I was, I thought back to all of the little signs telling me I didn’t need more stuff for more happiness, joy, and love. I didn’t want more stuff. I didn’t need to prove myself. Nothing on the outside could make me happier. That had to come from the inside.
As I became more and more me, and started experiencing the world from this new stuff-less place, I realized that diamonds are not this girl’s best friend. My best friend is a magical, rooftop sunrise. My best friend is the ocean. My best friend is a hike in the mountains. My best friend is a peaceful afternoon. My best friend is a really good book. My best friend is laughter. My best friend is seeing the world. My best friend is time with people I love.
So yes, I want more, but not more stuff. I want more early mornings, more hiking and connecting with nature, more meaningful conversations and hand holding. More seeing the world. More creativity. More crazy ideas. More love. Always more love.
Diamonds have nothing on my best friends.
Yes! The more I let go of, the more I realize that all of that stuff isn’t really important. I’m still working on the not wanting to purchase new items bit but I’ve gotten a lot better at telling myself that the shiny new thing will not make me happy and leaving it in the store.
Thank you, Thank you, Thank you… This post came at a perfect time for me. I am working on finding my new Best Friends !
Love this post! I just signed up for your email updates. The more I downsize, the happier I become.
EMPTY SPACE is one of my favorite best friends. It is a place where something “could” go, but instead, it just sits there inviting the universe to fill it with happiness!
THIS! ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Exactly.
Well said, and so true! 🙂
Another home run of a post. Someone, please tell me why I have boxes of clipped recipes and save them because I know a jewel is buried somewhere deep within. This is close to insanity, I’m certain 🙂
I needed this. Perfect timing. Thank you so much! My life and happiness was in desperate need of new meaning.
I needed this. Thank you so much! My life and happiness needed a refresher and a turn around and a new meaning.
Courtney, love this post. You are right! Diamonds are not necessarily our best friends. It seems that way because that is what the advertisers has been telling us! With their exorbitant price tags, that’s something that not everyone can afford.
It’s a luxury, it’s a want, and is marketed as a need.
Well, it doesn’t pay the bills nor put food on the table. It’s just stuff.
Only one can decide whether it does add value to their lives.
Courtney, what Beautiful post tackeling one of the main challenges: to ask yourself if you are buying something for yourself or someone else / out of here . Many things Are amazing when you see them. When you buy, however, you suddenly realize that you don’t really know what to do with them. But Our mind is sneaky and trying to find some reasons because you have already spend money. We need to act before in order to avoid this situation and learn to make the difference. We call this being able to make the difference between good and bad forces of ownership. Great article, keep it up!
Oh this post so true. I could never really agree with this saying.. And you’re right, happiness is not found in stuff, but in moments and people. When I moved houses I decided I need to cut back on my stuff. I started clearing out my wardrobe and got rid of things that I did not really need anymore. And I stopped buying new useless things. And I don’t miss anything at all. Such money is better spend on traveling and moments with friends and family.
Love this Courtney, thanks for sharing. Less is definitely more. 🙂
This post should be required reading for everyone, and especially for young women who are buying into the nonsense that their self-esteem should be built solely upon their looks. If they stop worrying about owning the “right” stuff, or having the “right” look, they could focus on building their minds and relationships.
Fantastic essay, thank you! As I think about our next move, I focus all the time on having a smaller space. This is a great reminder of what I hope to achieve in return — more time with best friends!
Oh. my. gosh. I love this. Especially the “my best friend is” paragraph. I want to be you when I grow up!
Love this! It’s so true + such an amazing discovery to find that the stuff once thought so precious doesn’t hold the same value anymore. 🙂
I needed this post today. Thank you Courtney!!! 🙂
This sounds just like me nowadays. Great post!