Be More with Less

simplicity is love

A Hands Free Open Heart Weekend

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Put your phone down.

Being more present in life and less connected to my phone is something I strive for on a daily basis. In fact, the only time I’m not thinking about it is when I am completely hands free. When I unplug my phone and put it out of sight, or leave it at home on date-night, I hardly remember why I have a hard time disconnecting.

At the beginning of a digital sabbatical, I sometimes reach for my phone even when it isn’t there, but after a few hours, I don’t want to go back. After 24 hours or more, I feel refreshed, connected, and present.

When I read my friend Erin’s brilliant post, The Digital Breakup, these words resonated, “The mind is full, but lacks clarity.”

That’s the problem with always having more at our finger tips, we lack presence and lose clarity.

When I open my phone, this is the first thing I see …

Put Your Phone Down

It’s a reminder that nothing is better on the other side of that screen than what’s happening right in front of me. Even though I know that’s true, a visual cue encourages me to either turn the phone off, or ask myself why I grabbed the phone.

  • Is someone calling?
  • Do I need to send or respond to a text message?
  • Is it for a mindless email check?
  • Bored?
  • Hungry?
  • Procrastinating?
  • Curious?
  • Lonely?

Are we really addicted to our phones?

I have to believe this is a real addiction because how else can I explain people checking their phones while driving down the freeway, risking their life and others for an email, text message, or Facebook? Is there another reasonable explanation?

I don’t use my phone when I drive, but can see how my phone is like an addiction. It’s like sugar. The more sugar I eat, the more sugar I want. The more screen time I have, the more I want. And on the flip side, the less I have, the less I want. Instead of more sugar or screen time though, I want more eye contact, more soul-stirring and heart-opening, more creativity, availability, and clarity.

I hope I don’t make this sound easy, because it isn’t. Quitting sugar is hard (physically and mentally) and quitting or cutting back on screen time is hard too. It’s all hard at first, and then miraculously, it isn’t.

Like many addictions, quitting together is easier too. If you have a friend that will cut back with you, or your family will unplug all day every Sunday, or if you start an online challenge, the support you create will give you strength to protect what matters most to you.

A hands free weekend for a hands free life.

I’ve said before that simple moments create a simple life, and perhaps a hands free weekend can create a hands free life.

I started working with the lovely, kind, gentle Rachel Macy Stafford last year when she became a contributor for A Simple Year, and I am in love with her story and her writing. Her first book, Hands Free Mama is a New York Times best seller and this week she released her new book, Hands Free Life which inspired this post.

It’s a beautiful book with 9 essential habits that Rachel says, “will ignite a sense of urgency—urgency to live … love … dream … connect … embrace … forgive … and flourish.”

Consider a 24 hour digital sabbatical and use that time to enjoy Rachel’s book and outline rules for a #1monthdigitalbreakup. Use Erin’s rules or create your own. Include rules that will reduce distraction and help you feel more connected to your life, and your loves.

Comments

  1. Funny, I was just thinking last night about beginning the process of suspending my Facebook account and weaning myself off of social media.

    • Mobile phones are a great invention, but just that, it is a phone not a life. we are losing the art of conversation and caring for our our fellow man.

  2. I love this! I am always reaching for my phone throughout the day for no good reason. I think a phone breakup is a great idea, and it will definitely help me be more productive throughout my day.

  3. Thanks for this reminder to pay attention to our ACTUAL lives, rather than just our “virtual” lives. I am going to try to practice being “hands free” this weekend.

  5. I would love to read a book instead of being on the phone and I’d love for my husband to read it also. Thanks for the opportunity to win a copy!

  6. Beautiful thoughts! Along the same lines, I cut Facebook out of my life completely after taking several sabbaticals from it. Even though I didn’t spend a ton of time on it, the time did add up and it was always a ready distraction.

  8. Love that screen saver/thingy.
    Also love hands free weekend. I suspect my family would appreciate it as well. Might be something for me to consider.

  9. I’d love a copy of “Hands Free Life”. When my 18 month old son takes my face in his hands and moves my eyes from my phone to his face, it’s an eye-opening reminder of what is most important and deserving of my time and attention.

  11. Absolutely! I love it.

    This theme has honestly been ever-present in my head the past few days as I notice that the more I say I want to use less electronics, the more I am using them! The more I say I want to read “real books,” the less I am doing it.

    I am admitting a sad addiction to “knowing” right here on your blog, right now. I feel this sort of “itch” to “just see who liked my post on FB” to “just see if I have an unread email..”

    But it turns into something far greater once I allow myself to get online, on my computer, on my phone.

    So. This is my promise to myself, and you ALL can keep me accountable 😉

    “I promise an entire 24 hours free of internet, phone, and computer!” And I will start sometime today or tomorrow.

    Ah, I feel better already. I can’t wait!

    Thank you SO much for this very important reminder.

    With immense love and gratitude,
    <3 Brittany Marley

    • So – we are holding you accountable – did you succeed?
      We are a great community of like-minded (or soon to be like-minded) individuals, who lift each other up, offer advice, send loving inspiration though our multiple channels, and we are holding you accountable.
      (because you asked us to!)

  13. I guess because of my age, I am not into phones like I see people around me, specially youngsters. The idea of going w/out a phone for a day or a weekend is excellent. I will pass it down to whoever I can. We really need to see people in their eyes and interact w/out the flashing light in our hands.

  14. would SO love to read this book! preaching at my kids to get off their phones and into real life… I need a jumpstart!

  15. I would love to be entered for a chance to win a copy of Hands Free Life. I’ve been noticing my disconnect from people in the name of “connecting” online, which as we know is really *not* connecting. I think this would be helpful to me. Thank you!

  16. I know social media and my phone are my biggest time wasters, mood crasher, and time soul killer. Yet I can’t seem to break free. I’d love to learn more by reading this book!

  17. Love Rachel’s writing! Cannot wait to read her new book! Thanks for sharing news of it. I’m working on those “simple moments (to) create a simple life!”

  18. I love the message on your phone. It’s a great reminder to remain engaged and confident in my life. Even though I’m not a phone over user, I often walk with my eyes down avoiding contact.

  23. I really enjoy the reminder that you have on your phone, to take a moment to really think if the time spent on your phone is actually necessary. I took a hiatus from Facebook for 2 years, and just recently came back on to connect with families from my daughter’s school, but it really sucks you in. On the one hand I feel I will not be as connected, if I do not read everyone’s random / vague daily comments and be one to “like” it, on the other hand, I would probably be more connected to them if I skipped it all together. I would love to read your book.

  25. I find myself spending endless amounts of time, wasted, surfing the web via my cell phone, when I was originally planning to read! I would love to read Rachel’s book. On a separate note, I love reading about your Project 333 but am curious to know how you shop. Would love to read a post about the decisions you make when you do go shopping.

  26. I’m intrigued by the research Rachel has done – especially with the time our brains make memories. Sounds like an interesting read!

  27. Lovely post, as usual. I’ve been thinking of weaning off or at least DOWN from social media. Went to see my family for the first time in 2 years, and caught myself scrolling facebook while talking to them! Ugh!

    Thanks for sharing. 🙂

  28. I have been striving, but falling short on having an electronic-free Sabbath each week. Maybe I could benefit from this book. Thanks for sharing this.

  29. Your post couldn’t come at a better time. I’m focusing on using my phone and social media channels less and less on weekends and weeknights to focus on my family. And I’m working on not checking my phone until I sit down with a cup of coffee to start work. I still reach for it to snap a photo and capture a memory, but that’s intentionally. I’m delaying more and more posting those photo and getting caught up in the “how many likes did I get” syndrome. Thank you for prompting a valuable discussion.

  30. I love seeing how all the minimalist bloggers support each other. It is so great to get links to learn about more awesome people in this community. FYI, I’m a bookworm when I’m offline so I would love to win Rachel’s book.

  32. A few weeks ago I removed all social media from my phone and haven’t (hardly) looked at those accounts since then. I’ve also started unsubscribing what is appearing to be a surprisingly large number of emails. I’ve been unsubscribing for three days now as they come in and I’m still surprised to get new ones. More troubling though is that I’m still getting emails from places I’ve already unsubscribed from. I’ve felt a change since eliminating the social media. I feel less distracted and more productive. Hopefully the changes will keep coming.

  33. Without realizing it I have been creating “unplugged sabbaths” when I do not look at my phone for a day because I forgot to turn on any of the ringers or notifications. This post inspires me to intentionally formalize this process by creating a rule to designate 8 hours every Sunday when I am not plugged into anything digital so I can feed my spirit and be present for others.

  34. With me just beginning University for another year, I think it’s a great time to take a digital sabbatical so I can focus on what’s most important:my education, relationships, and my health. Would love a copy!

  35. I find something as simple as leaving my phone in my purse at work is surprisingly effective. It allows me to focus more on what I’m supposed to be doing, and to get more done. Apparently, I’m really susceptible to the out of sight, out of mind principle. Of course, when I do check it later, I’ve got a bunch of messages from people worried about how I’m doing because I didn’t respond to them Right. Then.

  36. This is the second time this week I’ve heard of this book. Two weeks ago I began fasting from blogging and instagram (my two social media outlets). I honestly didn’t think I would last more than a couple hours, but I have found so much freedom – not to mention extra time.

    I homeschool my girls and quit my phone a week before school started so I could get ready. Now that school has started, my girls have noticed that I am able to be fully present and don’t have to check instagram posts or my email for comments about a blog post.

    I really do miss both – I love photography and enjoy sharing the beauty I find on IG and on my blog. But I love my freedom more. If or when I return to one or the other, it will have to be under different boundaries. I remember once you suggested posting only one photo a day – I might need to get back to that.

  37. I realize I am way too attached to my phone and tablet. This week my husband and I put our phones on the kitchen counter so we could TALK to each other while we ate dinner. Baby steps, I know…I would love to check out Rachel’s book. Thanks for the contest opportunity!

  38. Please enter me for the competition – I have made rules for myself in the past about this kind of stuff but seem to have lapsed a bit lately….! and now I must go, Twitter has sucked me in once more even though I’m staying at a friend’s who I don’t see often – argh! Bye!

  39. Thank you for the giveaway. I recently found Hands Free Mama – her writing (and yours) pertain to all of us, not just Mamas.
    I like that my phone has a blue or green flashing dot to tell me there is an email (usually work) or text (select 5-10 close friends). Otherwise I don’t have to look. I don’t do facebook nor blog but I do read a lot of blogs, a lot.
    K

  41. It really is an addiction isn’t it? This compulsive having to check my phone every few minutes, even though I haven’t heard a text or email come in! What does it say about me? Scary.

  42. Very interesting read, thank-you! I feel like I’m generally “good” with electronics…well at least in comparison to many around me 😉 but still think I waste too much time. Your blog was a great reminder on how that could be changed!

  43. Sounds nice. Are there tips for when your phone is a work-phone that does need to be near?
    At present I have separate ringtones so I know what can be ignored, and I try to set it face-down as much as possible so I’m not seeing reflections on the face as light-ups of calls/texts. It helps keep down the constant checking, but not enough.

  44. I have been in a year long effort to disconnect from my phone, email and mindless websites, and am inspired by this post. Thank you Courtney for challenging me!

  45. Just reading all the comments is very inspiring. I live alone and get out of the house daily for exercise classes or support meetings. Sometimes I go to our local used bookstore and sit comfortably in the cafe and read or write or play on my iPad or iPhone. I’m not ready to disconnect yet but I might just give it a try on Sunday for a few hours. I’ll let the people who call me often know about the unplugging and give it a try. And I’d love to win one of the books. Thanks for the opportunity.

  46. Yes, I believe it truly is an addiction. For some folks, complete abstinence may be the answer. Others may be able to manage their usage responsibly. I like your comparison to sugar. Some people can cut back, others find they need to cut out completely. I appreciate your blog.

  47. This is such a great reminder! As soon as my children are home at night and I know I don’t need to worry about messages from them, I have been trying to turn off my phone. It is such a good feeling to not think about the phone and what I “could be” doing on it.

  50. This post was in my in box, and I shared it on Facebook before I even finished reading it.This is what I posted on my Facebook page…
    “I love this post.It can be a reminder to pay attention to who is in front of us.I was invited out for coffee with a few girlfriends recently ,who spent the entire time looking at their cell phones and texting their friends and family.It made me feel like I wasn’t important enough to spend time with.I wondered why they had even invited me out and I have not been in any hurry to reconnect with them ever since…Like the song says,”If you can’t be with the one you love,love the one your with”.Have a great weekend everybody, and enjoy whomever is in front of you…”

  51. Thank you for this post! You always seem to post exactly what I need to hear right when I need it – thank you so much! 🙂 – Lily

  52. I am so guilty of the phone/ screen addiction. The phone is a great tool not to be abused as I often do. I have been working at simplifying my life. I need to simplify in the technology area big time.

  54. I began digital-free Sundays quite a while ago while taking your Simple Life course. It is only natural to expand that to digital-free weekends. It is amazing how rested I feel and how much more involved in life I am when I unplug. Thanks for the encouragement!

  56. I’d love a chance to have my own copy of Rachel’s book. Thanks so much for the opportunity.
    PS ~ I always gain so much from your emails. Grateful for your wisdom.

  57. I keep my phone in my purse all day at work, and I only look at it if my daughter or husband text me & I hear the notification. I finally upgraded to a newer phone & I now have instagram which I love. I check it while I’m unwinding after work, and some times I go days without checking it because I’m busy doing something else. I struggle with facebook. I’ve deactivated many times but I’m still on the darn site. Sometimes I feel its harmless, and other times I just get fed up with all the gossip & silly stuff & I question why we feel the need to see what everyone else is doing??

  59. I have thought about getting rid of my social media accounts. Really at the end of the day, none of it matters and we put so much time and energy into it. I would love a copy of the book! 🙂
    Have a wonderful weekend!

  60. Even for me, with just a limited amount of data for internet use, I still find myself reaching randomly for my phone. It isn’t only the social media or Google addiction, is it?

  61. I have 3 teenagers and I don’t know that they (Verizon) can handle how many GBs we use in a month. I include myself, because I might be the worst offender. It’s a great idea to disconnect and show the kids that there is life outside of the cell (phone).

  62. I broke up with Facebook about a week ago. It has been a fabulous week, at least in terms of being able to concentrate on my real priorities!

  63. I know I waste time with mindlessly checking my phone, following up with notifications and following Internet trails. But the phone is my primary connection to my daughter, who is pursuing her first job halfway across the country. (I have no landline). The books I read are primarily electronic, also on my phone. After reading your blog today and others’ comments, I think there is a middle ground, a discipline for myself that I have not attempted. I could set a schedule for myself, to read emails, Facebook posts, Pinterest, etc. at certain, limited times during the day, and put the phone down at all other times, with a few important exceptions like those I mentioned. Thanks for your always thought-provoking posts.

  64. Thank you for this! I’m tired of checking my phone so frequently and often not even knowing why I’m picking it up. It’s definitely an issue for my husband and I, and we are going to try screen -free Sundays, as well as a day off for our son from TV and video games! I’m glad I ditched Facebook a long time ago, and I don’t use any other social media. I’m going to work on not checking email so often!

  66. I have the four agreements as my current phone screensaver, but I do like the reminder to not be online so much. I’m under doctor’s orders to walk (it doesn’t matter how far) three times a day, and I make it a point to pocket the phone and pay attention to my surroundings, no earbuds, etc. Its been a new way to connect with the neighborhood we are staying in for my cancer treatment.

  68. Lovely post! I admire bloggers who take a digital break and explain why to their followers, like Tammy Strobel just did. It makes us all pause, see the person behind the blog, and reflect on how we can make changes to spend more time in the real world. Would love a chance to read the book! Thank you.

  72. I no longer have a mobile phone and it is incredibly freeing to not have that distraction. However, at home I find myself mindlessly connecting to the Internet to check emails and surf the web whenever I am bored, lonely, or uncomfortable. I think we all need to learn to put down our devices and connect with people face to face. It is a great gift for self and other.

  73. I actually tried this last week. Unfortunately I didn’t give any of my friends or co-workers advanced warning. Therefore I got several, “is everything okay, are you dead on the floor?” Emails, texts & voicemails, Desperate for my response requests.

    Mental note, next time I venture into the unplugged world; give a heads up to loved ones and those who expect instant access.

    Oddly I had a thoroughly beautiful day, reconnecting with nature & myself, refreshed to connect with my family when they returned from their days activities.

    Courtney, I love your blog. Keep writing from your open heart! It’s resonating with other open hearts.

    Gratefully,
    Lynette

  74. What a great way to start this weekend. I actually came home from work and cleaned and got on my IPad to delete emails. Trying to “declutter” and saw this email. Would love this book to read and share with friends. I think we could all use a little unplugging from our virtual lives. Happy weekend everyone!

  75. Thank you! I often say to my husband,” The best gift you can give me is to be present with me”. I would be delighted if my whole family could go phone-free for 23 hours one weekend day a week.

  76. I love your blog and all the other minimalist blogs that I read. So many
    are talking about this new book. I saw a couple of interviews with the author and can’t wait to read her book. Thanks for the chance to win one.

  78. I don’t stayed glued to my phone, but i would like to look at it less just to feel more free. I really only talk to 2 people, but I may receive phone calls from clients. I only have apps for weather, instagram, and pages manager to post to my FB business page. I don’t pick up my phone while driving unless its a phone call and I need to answer, but thats very rare. I wish more people would consume less of their phone, its making us braindead. Good post, I hope it reaches lots of people and creates change.

  80. I’m 61 and can feel the slow plunge into the digital world. My husband and I start our day with noses in the screen while we eat our breakfast. Our evenings are very often the same as we sit on opposite couches. Boy does this sound pitiful as I write. It’s like the frog in the kettle…the slow temperature rise that goes without notice…Thanks for making us take a look and feel the real temperature of our lives and culture!

  81. Last year, my boyfriend and I spent an entire 24-period over the weekend away from technology. We shut off and put away our phones and laptops, and disconnected our TV. It was wonderful and such a great reminder of how many times a day I reach for my phone for any number of reasons, most of them unnecessary (why do I need to check email 20 times per day 1-2 times would suffice?)

    I haven’t shut my phone off recently for more than a couple of hours, mostly due to my current job, but I am certainly noticing the unhealthy connection I have with my phone and the Internet and would like to set weekly and even daily habits of leaving the digital world for a while.

  82. Love the idea of a digital sabbatical …. I agree it is an addiction. And even if I am aware of it, it is hard for me to spend less time on my phone. thanks for your post!

  83. Dear Courtney,
    Do you have ANY idea how much you help so many of us??? Just reading your messages makes me feel better — focused — S-L-O-W D-O-W-N! NONE of my friends do that! Everyone is go-go-go!! Answer your phone! Text me NOW! I love my friends, but, I am so thankful for YOU and the PEACE you remind me to bring into my life! I would LOVE a copy of “Hands Free Life”! Much like trying to stop biting my fingernails (when I was 10 yrs. old) I needed constant reminders to break a bad habit — short of having YOU come and have a sleepover, this book could serve as a reminder for me to get out of the hamster wheel and L-I-V-E!!! God bless you, Courtney! and THANK YOU!! ;-D

  84. Sounds like a book I could use in my life. I’m so drawn to the idea of paring down, living deliberately, and being completely present and yet it seems like the hardest thing to actually do!

  85. I’m not so addicted to my phone but definitely addicted to my books. A slow down is clearly in order. I’m missing out on so much more of Life.

  87. I have both a recent success and failure to report regarding my phone.

    Last month I deleted several apps from my phone including FaceBook. I’m still on FaceBook but I was so sad looking around a concert I’d attended and seeing so many people looking into their phones instead of enjoying the performance we’d all paid a lot of money to see. I haven’t missed it.

    However, the other evening while driving home with my son in the car my phone rang. Without thinking about it I answered it and almost ran a stop sign. I was horrified.

    It would seem I need to check this book out of the library. 🙂

  88. I find the the longer I have my phone, the more I think of it as simply a tool. I’ve had to work toward that, though. Thanks for the chance to win.

  90. Wow ! Lovely Post ! Thinking Thanksgiving would be an excellent way to show what a device free day can do ! The whole family and friends and no phone zones! Thank you !

  91. Would love to win a copy of “Hands Free Life” ~ a message I need… as do most of the people I know!

  92. I didn’t even get to the end of this post before I decided to turn my phone off. Which is actually a little anxiety inducing! I would really love a copy of this book, I’ve been reading up on minimalism for a little while now and would so love to change my habits and become a minimalist. Your blog is inspiring! Suzi.

  95. While my time on electronic devices eases the loneliness that can come while serving so far from home, it also uses up time I could be spending on language study so I can better connect with the people where God has planted me. Your offer sounds like a book I should be reading. Thanks for the possibility of getting one.

  96. Me and my friend decided just three days ago to have of digital sabbath from FB. My “sugar addiction” for FB cravings is there, but is diminishing, day by day.

  99. For the whole month of June I took a digital sabbatical. When my 30 days were over I was enjoying the freedom so much I actually cringed at the thought of going back to any of it. So I didn’t for another week. And even then I didn’t return to anything but Feedly. I haven’t been on any of social media since then. It’s been so nice and I just don’t miss it.

    I was so addicted to grabbing my phone constantly. Now I forget where I left it at times. And I credit this change to an experience I probably would have missed previously because I would have been too busy posting to IG as it happened. This experience? Last night we went to a Rick Springfield concert whom I’ve loved since I was a teenager. During one of the songs he comes out into the audience. Yep you guessed it…I got to shake his hand and help him over a chair. Total swoon moment. I would have missed it though before. I would have been so worried about getting the picture of it happening that I would have missed the Human Touch. 😉 (that’s the song he was singing) The song is so appropriate. Now I have this great memory instead of great picture. It was definitely the better choice!

    • Melissa, I’ve loved RS since I was a young girl and I’ve had that experience too of helping him over the chairs … “I’m so scared and isolated in the modern world”. 😉

      I’m so glad you enjoyed the moment instead of trying to capture it in a photograph. Isn’t it funny how your comment jumped out at me out of all the ones I was scanning through?!?

      • Heather I’m excited to hear you got to experience that too! RS truly loves his fans and to miss that moment would have been so sad but I saw many with phones in hand miss it. It really seemed that Rick was disappointed by it too. Almost like he was wanting to say listen to the lyrics I’m singing! lol

        I think it’s fantastic my comment jumped out to you and I thank you for reaching out to me! 🙂

  100. what great timing! I recently downloaded an app to track how much time I actually spend on my phone and I was astounded at some of the numbers! I love the idea of a digital sabbatical. I will definitely be checking out this book but a chance to win it is always welcome! 🙂

  101. I’m embarrassed to admit that the first thing I do when I wake up is checked the weather on my phone and check my emails. I really want to stop doing this. I’d rather start my day with meditation and breathing and listen to music. That’s my goal!

  104. I don’t have a phone however I spend too much time on my computer. I make it a point to look at a person when they are talking to me. When did this become a thing? Didn’t it used to be called “being polite”?!? I am frightened for my children.

  105. Hi Courtney,

    this was eye-opening! So many people need to know about it – it should be printed on huge walls beside our roads.
    I would love to win the book.

    Best,
    Julia

  107. This comes at the perfect time. I have been noticing that my family is disconnected from each other. We sit in the same room, yet everyone is head down, looking at their phones. I really want us to be less dependent and attached.

  109. As someone else said, I’ve been thinking of closing my FB account, but then I couldn’t see all of the wonderful Be More with Less posts! I am getting better with the phone since I’ve retired from work, but I am guilty of checking it just because of boredom while waiting. I’ve also weaned myself off physical books and my Kindle app is on my phone, so I never totally unplug. In my mind, I can’t justify buying a Kindle just to unplug from my phone. Thanks for reminding me why I need to unplug. Maybe I can check books out of the library for those unplug days.

  110. I so enjoy your messages, they encourage and refresh me every time. I am trying to simplify my home, my schedule and my life. Reading your blog helps keep me on track towards this goal. I can’t thank you enough!

  111. Boy did this post resonate with me! I am really looking for ways to put the phone down and disconnect. Would so love a copy of this book!

  113. I love Hands Free Mama! I’ve adapted many of her principles to suit my life and have pretty much broken up with my cell phone. However, I still find that I check my email too often on the computer and have decided to only allow myself to check my email, budget, bank statements and facebook once a day . Thanks for sharing 🙂

  115. Let it go & slowly back away from the phone. Last Christmas when I walked downstairs, all 5 of my nefews & nieces were on the couch, heads down into their phones. Will never forget it since I sat on the step and thought back to Christmases past with no cell phones – they were missing out on an opportunity of love & family interaction. We need to help our friends & family rengage and know the colors of each other’s eyes! Be the change we want to see & slowly back away from our phones. Thanks & Be Well.

  116. I try to fool myself into believing I don’t have a problem, but isn’t that what an addict will say? Like others, this is the second time this week I’ve read reference to Rachel’s blog and book. I very much so could use it. Thank you!

  117. I’ve been feeling less and less connected to my phone, social networking sites and everything digital. I used to be terribly addicted, but lately as I’ve been simplifying my life I’ve realized just how little these things contribute to my happiness and week-being. Lovely post, thank you.

  118. My favorite three blogs all interconnect with each other. Be More with Less, Hands Free Mama and Becoming Minimalist. Three human beings that have changed my life for the better. I send you gratitude everytime I get a new email and feel inspired with each new post. Thank you for sharing your journey. You, Rachel and Joshua have helped me grow in ways I didn’t think was possible. I read Hands Free Mama and I’d love a copy of Hands Free Life. Most of all I look forward to being inspired by you and our like minded community. Much peace, hugs and love.

  120. This is perfect timing. I have been trying to put the phone down lately and have been failing. I made it without a phone for a whole month over summer and was to the point where I didnt even want one back. However my husband went and bought me one since I almost missed a baseball game with my son due to not having a phone. See the coaches cant pick up a phone and call, ours use a grouping app. Anyway I will definently be trying to read the book to help me put the phone down! Also hopefully find a way to get these coaches to call my house phone lol! Thanks for your wonderful articles!

  122. I’m almost through my first year of the 3 33 project and loving every bit of it. Each season I get rid of more and more. This book looks great!

  123. This book looks wonderful! I like the idea of a digital free weekend, especially since so much of my week is taken up with digital work. love your blog, Courtney.

  126. I just retired end of June and find myself looking at my phone all the time, it seems like it’s addicting. Very sad. By the way, I love the quote.

  127. Great thoughts! Sometimes I see myself in slow motion, reaching for my phone when I don’t need it and I pull my hand away quickly. It is true the less you use your phone and the more you simply look around you and see what it there, the less you will want to use your phone.

  128. Wow! This is such a motivating piece, Courtney! I love the questions you ask yourself to determine if picking up the phone is necessary. I do believe awareness is everything on my journey to a less distracted/more meaningful life and you captured that awareness so beautifully! I am truly touched by the words you used to describe me and my work. It has been such an honor and joy to be associated with your important and life-changing work!

  129. Love this piece about a hands free life. My Husband is on his phone almost 24/7. When I sit across from him at dinner I actually have to say human in front of you talking. Sometimes I have to take his phone away and keep it until we finish dinner. Does not help that football season started.
    I would love to read her book.

  130. This book looks like it would be a really thoughtful and helpful way to look at this issue in my life. I have been realizing lately that screen use is actually one source of on-going stress in my life–something that really impacts my health. Thanks for the reminders you post on the value of simplicity.

  131. I, too, am trying to disconnect. Last year I got rid of my land line, we don’t have television, and this month I have decided to shut down every electronic on Sundays. Now if I can get my husband to join me……..

  132. I have been trying hard to limit my time with electronic devices, and found that I’ve gotten so much more done on my creative projects! (No surprise there) To try to wean my teens, I’ve planned more trips to the cabin; no internet=more time to talk, play and daydream!

  134. For years my husband and I had low tech flip phones that were turned off unless it was critical to keep in touch–which honestly didn’t turn out to be that much. We recently got androids because I need to IM my boss when she’s out of the office, but otherwise our phones are off 95% of the time. Our careers require us to be tech savvy, but for us personally, the key to not being ruled by communication and entertainment devices has been to avoid using them, especially habitually, because they are so convenient and, well, there. We’re not keen on the passivity they promote and they’re a royal nuisance when you’re involved in something relevant, recreational or relational. We decided to get rid of our TV nearly 20 years ago, which has been more influential in keeping us on the simplicity and serenity tracks than any other “minimalist” decision we’ve ever made.

    Because technology is so widespread and ever changing, it does take mindfulness to decide what to use, how and when, and to keep it all checked and balanced. The pressure to change, consume and keep up is constant and mighty. As everyone on the simplicity trail can attest it’s not easy to swim against the tide, but the results are truly worth it.

  135. I love this! I have been seeing more and more articles about people “divorcing” their phones. I think this is a great step in the right direction. I fear that our country will end up being more like the movie Idiocracy unless we take control of these bad habits/addictions.

  136. I think you are a mind reader! Whenever I start thinking about changing something you come right along and nail it. Embarrassingly, recently, I’ve realised that Facebook makes me sad. I don’t use it that much (do I?) and I know everyone’s posts are edited but when I read it I feel as if every one else has a nicer life than me….makes me wonder what other comparisons I’m making that are stealing my joy away?

  137. Hi, I would like to read this book. I tend to check my phone in between doing jobs around the house. I want to try and sit at the kitchen table a bit more this year without feeling like I always need to be doing something. Just sit and watch my family and be available for whatever they would like to do.

  138. None of us would deny that our electronics (yes, even Facebook!) are useful tools, but they do seem to create a dependency that other tools do not. May I share a couple of ideas that have helped me to wean myself off being constantly connected? First, dump the smartphone (or just turn off the wifi!) and have a phone which just does what a phone needs to – phone calls and text messages. Suddenly I find it’s there for what it’s supposed to be there for – talking! But I don’t want to disconnect from the internet completely of course, so I use my laptop. But my second idea is to turn it off and unplug it at the end of a session. Of course I can have it all powered up again in a few minutes if I find that I need it, but it’s just to long to bother if it’s just a reflex check (fix!) that I’m looking for.
    It would be great to read the book, and I’d love to hear some ideas about how to ‘sell’ a digital turn off to a teenager.

  139. I would rather face someone than Facebook them. Guess I might seem a little old fashioned but I still get my screen time via Skype. That’s a screen I don’t mind.

  141. I would love to read the “Hands Free Life” book. I have a few friends who are “non-tetchy” in their own words, and don’t have smartphones or social media accounts. I get frustrated with them because it is harder to reach them and I feel they are “missing out”. Yet, if I really think about it, they are more relaxed than I am….. Hmmm….

  143. I’m currently unemployed, so I have a lot more time than I used to. And I find myself mindlessly checking FB, Pinterest, and email instead of working on my actual life. I’m going to start tonight with an hour of no screen time and work away from my endless, mindless engagement in the digital world. Thanks for the reminder!

  144. My phone is always on silent, and it’s not smart enough to surf, so I can happily monitor my use. However….internet and social media – big problem! I’ve just recently weaned myself off an addiction to Words With Friends!!!!! I went all out to get my fix – when actual friends got fed up with me, I went looking for strangers! Timers don’t help. I need a mommy, who takes the damn laptop out of my hands and says ‘that’s enough now’! Always open to new ways to train myself out of bad habits. Thanks for posting and for the link to Erin’s piece.

  146. What a great giveaway. Thanks for the opportunity. Would love to read this book. Sounds like exactly what my family needs.

  148. Hi
    Just wanted to say I was in Algonquin park this past week sans phone or other electronics. It was a wonderful experience. We fished and canoed and cooked over a fire. I feel refreshed and new again. Almost clean so to speak. I hope to repeat this weeks experience again sometime soon!
    Always
    Lori

  150. Last weekend, my husband & I went to the mountains for my birthday. I checked e-mail and FB before we left on Thursday morning, and did not check either one until Monday morning. I completely unplugged (only answered phone if it was my girls). It felt very freeing! So many other things to do besides social media!

  151. I love ending my evening with reading your blog. It begins my relaxing, wind-down time. Thank you for everything you do for your readers and the helpful, gentle and simple reminders.
    I would love to be entered for the book giveaway.

  152. I am happier and more contented when I leave my phone on silent, face down on the kitchen counter. Why then is it so hard to do?

    Thanks for the reminder!

  153. I’ve thought about this often lately. Why is it so hard to not look at a stupid phone? I’ve only had a smartphone for a year and a half and feel lost without it – which is nonsensical. Thanks for the chance to win this book.

  154. I’ve read so many wonderful reviews about Rachel’s first book, and early reviews of this one. The shopping ban won’t let me buy it for another 10 months, and I can wait until then. But if I won, I would read it then pay it forward to a friend and ask them to keep passing it along. 🙂

  155. Amen!
    It’s particularly addictive when it is your watch, calculator, camera, weather man and 24/7 contact with the world…. ARRGGGHH save us!

  156. I would love to learn the 9 essential habits that Rachel says, “will ignite a sense of urgency—urgency to live … love … dream … connect … embrace … forgive … and flourish.” I truly would!!

  159. It is very hard to implement but I am on it. I have put wallpaper with all my goals. Many times when I touch the phone, it remind me all the areas where I need to focus. Still it is difficult to stop our self from the addiction.

  161. Thank you for this reminder! I recently deactivated my Facebook account and it was amazing how much I didn’t miss it. And how much better I felt without the endless, mindless feed scrolling. Thanks for what you do!

  163. I love the idea of a digital holiday! I am so guilty of ignoring my husband when we go on rides — I immediately go on-line and get lost in my digital world. I share info with him – not intimacy or love or just “being”. How lonely he must feel! I need my whole life to be “More with Less”!

  164. Last year I became aware of massive FOMO and addiction to social media, especially Instagram & Facebook. I started feeling stressed if I wasn’t able to check my accounts frequently enough to ‘keep up’ with all the posts. I nipped it in the bud by going cold turkey. I realised that the stress was killing any enjoyment that SM was bringing me. Now I have a much more balanced approach, but still have to keep reminding myself every now and then that it’s not necessary to read every single thing that pops into my feeds. Feel so much better for it!

  165. I try so hard to stay off my phone and social media, but I find it so hard to disconnect. It does not help that my husband is more addicted then I am. I would love to try to reduce my screen time.

  166. Thank you! I’m sitting here with a breathtaking view of the mid coast of Maine, and I’m looking at my phone. I was reading your blog, which is wonderful but I’d love to put down my phone. Perfect post for me right now. Enter me in the drawing. Ok, phone down and enjoying the view! 🙂

  167. I have always felt the need to be “caught up” on social media. But that’s just crazy. I’ve recently cut back drastically on Facebook (checking a few times a week at the most) and it’s been great. I’d like to try a 24 hour digital sabbatical. Thanks for the chance to win the book!

  168. This is such a wonderful thing! I am looking forward to a digital sabbatical starting this weekend! Just for the weekend… Just to see how it goes… I can already breathe easier just thinking about it! Thank you!!

  170. I just had a conversation over the weekend with my kids, and realized that my struggle with distraction and the many things running through my head is giving them the impression that their needs are burdensome. I was so upset to hear this and it hit me in a way that I can’t quite articulate. Please enter me in the drawing for the book. 🙂

  171. ” The more sugar I eat, the more sugar I want. The more screen time I have, the more I want.” So true!! And I love the idea of everyone on Sunday being without all things digital! As usual, thanks for your inspiration!

  172. Love this post. I just returned from a 10 day vacation in Europe where I mostly had no access to phone or internet. When I did have access in a hotel, I immediately noticed an impact on my relaxation and anxiety level. I love your ideas for implementing phone free days. Thanks!

  173. Thank you for the post. I do not use my phone or any other electronic devices when I’m with friends or having dinner. However, I am constantly checking emails and forum posts when I should focus on work or playing with my son. I am a terrible employee and mom. Time for cell phone sabbatical!

    Well, it’s a coincidence that my phone has been acting up this morning, and I am not totally sad. I actually thought to myself, what if I use my old dumb phone for phone calls/texts, and my computer and iPad for social media when necessary. This inconvenience might help me reduce the amount of phone addiction, as I would be more reluctant to drag the iPad here and there.

  175. I have seen her website and it looks interesting. Thank you for the giveaway.

    My phone is my tool and I try to use it consciously. I keep up with friends — talking on the phone and in person is so much more satisfying than texting. I stopped doing Instagram. Sometimes, I purposely take hours to respond to a single text. I am learning to think before I text.

    Even so, I sometimes find myself grabbing for my phone in search of something more. This post is a great reminder to keep it real and keep it clear. To take a moment to breathe. Thank you.

  176. The Note to Self podcast recently did a series on quitting your phone. I’ve started tracking my screen time with an app. Averaging about 2 hours a day =/ I hope I can change that.

  177. I love Rachel’s writing, and I love how all of my favorite blog writers, including you, come together to connect the dots on a wholehearted life and what that looks like.

  179. I love this and believe I am addicted like so many others. Thanks for the reminder and the encouraging nudge:)

  182. What a timely post! I actually have her books in my Amazon “save for later” and wishlist. My husband and I both struggle with boundaries with our phones as we have work email notifications, lots of texts from friends, and skype/instagram to keep our parents in touch with our 1 year old daughter from across the country. We just had a discussion about what limits we need to start encouraging as it’s starting to effect real conversations and sleep time.

  183. At 48 it’s still possible, luckily, to recall life without mobile phones/social media/internet. I’ve remembered what I loved most about life before the electronic age – living! Plan A: people first, 1 hour per day – tech to connect. Plan B: people first, 1 hour per day – tech to connect. Love your stuff Courtney.

  184. I have a love/hate relationship with electronics, I know that they make me depress but I still hold on to them. Going out without a mobile phone is like going out without bringing your keys.

  185. I have been wanting to read this, but the library hasn’t gotten it yet. Thanks for the opportunity! I’ve been detoxing from social media lately, and it’s been really helpful for my productivity and presence when I’m with others. 🙂 It’s always great to have some reminders for why it’s important to disconnect, so thank you for that!

  186. I gave up Facebook back in February and never looked back. People need to be more present in their lives. Some can’t even shop for groceries without talking on their cell phones. Inspiring article as always Courtney. Thank you.

  187. I find myself reading my phone before I go to bed, then once its time to turn out the light I regret not reading a book instead! I’m also not a huge fan of the mindless consumption television offers, but I do the same thing constantly on the internet.

  189. I started following Hands Free Revolution on Facebook, and have actually printed out some of the articles to take home with me. I love the ones about not overreacting when your child does something “less than perfect”. It helps to know I’m not the only one who has had this problem, which seems to be (hopefully) in the past since I’ve started following her blog.

  191. I recently went through the process of cutting out sugar from my diet. It went easier than I originally thought. I was never addicted to my phone to start with, but I suspect it would be a similar process. Before I go to bed, I usually read a book, but for some days I will catch up on Facebook etc. I do notice I feel more grounded/peaceful/relaxed after reading a book comparing feeling anxious after checking e-mail, Facebook etc.

  193. I just put Rachel’s book on hold at the library! I’d love to have a copy of my own to dog-ear and refer back to.

  194. With 5 children I often find myself “escaping” on my phone, but realize that it means I am not fully present in their lives. My first born turns 18 next month and I will never have that time with him as a child again. Time to keep my eyes up and heart open before my babies leave childhood.

  195. Thank you for this post. I like the idea of a visual reminder on my phone. Rachel’s journey and wisdom are inspiring.

  196. I’ve started trying to do a 24-hour tech fast weekly on Sundays. I’ve only attempted it a couple of times, but it’s amazing how good it feels and how much I miss it when I don’t do it. Refocusing on the here and now and giving myself space to read and spend time with people I love makes a big difference.

  197. Leading by example is so important. I cringe when I think of how complex it will be for my children to learn how to “disconnect” from all the technology that surrounds them.

  198. I enjoy reading The Hands Free Mama, in this day and age with so much technology in our faces it is so difficult to step out of the front of it. My children attend a school that uses Ipads and homework consists of screen time. Learning to look up is a hard lesson, but the reward to seeing things and not missing special moments is worth the extra work! I am more mindful of these things and try hard each day to encourage our whole family to be aware and look up!!

  200. My teenage daughter recently wrote, “- love the part of my family who loves me + doesn’t ignore me for their phones/electronics.” She’s talking about me. My constant use of my phone/laptop comes across to her as a lack of loving her. Wow! Not how I feel at all, but what I’m portraying. Thank you for this post and for the chance to win “Hands Free Life”; a book I could use as I start this journey of unplugging.

  201. I love your reminder right there when you open your phone. Maybe I’ll try that too. Would love a copy of Hands Free Life!

  202. I would love to read this book. I run a business from my phone and can easily get distracted by it, taking away from the 4 kids at home with me who I started that business to be able to spend more time with! I love everything about the hands-free movement.

  205. all of your posts resonate with my heart….my mind is definitely too full from the barrage of information that it is trying to absorb…..of which not much is meaningful.

  207. I am struggling with this. I also know that my girls are growing up so fast, to not be fully engaged.

  209. Great article! I’d love to win the book and thanks for the reminder to unplug.. I completely agree that I am addicted to social media and it’s time to be more present and aware of this. Cheers!

  210. Great reminders. I am encouraged by the Hands Free Mama posts, and would love to win the book and become a Hands Free Dad…thanks.

  211. I miss the surprise of answering the house phone-landline, and discovering who was on the other end, and to whom they wished to speak.

    And I miss calling a house and wondering who will answer.

    With most folks using cell phones, I generally have to choose to call an individual rather than a family.

    We really don’t know all that we’re giving up for this.

    I’m going to re-connect my landline.

  212. I’ve discovered that if I get online in the morning it throws off my whole day! I’m less productive and less patient with my kids. Even knowing that, it’s still a struggle some days to leave my laptop turned off. (I’d probably die if I had a smartphone.) I’m trying to be more hands free and I really want to read this book.

  213. This speaks to me on so many levels. I recently disabled the Internet on my phone as a way to take a sabbatical from looking up Instagram and facebook. Eyes up heart open. Life changing.

  214. This is a daily struggle for me and I need to get much better. My time on my phone is often mindless and, even when it’s not, it lacks focus and clarity. I would love to read Rachel’s book – love her blog.

  215. This blog post is just the confirmation I needed for a digital fast. I’ve slowly been fasting from digital things for the last few months. This month I quit Facebook. Next month I was planning to quit the internet (for a month), but was beginning to have doubts if that was really a good idea, if I could really do it.

    The part of the blog that stood out to me was the part that says sometimes it’s easier to just quit something completely. I’ve found this to be so true. Every time I quit something all the way— it becomes so much easier to not need it or want it, then if I just intend to do it less.

    Thanks for another thoughtful and encouraging blog post.

  216. I’m a grandmother of eight! I love your posts and your blog! I always pass the things I read about to my children. I watch my grandchildren quite a bit and love all the topics that you write about. I would love a copy of your new book!

  217. I’ve just got a smart phone (among the last even in Hungary :)) and already feel the devastating addiction. High time for this.

  218. I love reading books and what better topic than stepping away from digital distractions and being more present in our daily lives.

  219. Thank you for the giveaway! I just received Hands Free Mama from my local library and would love to get my now-free hands on a copy of “Hands Free Life” 🙂

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