We sold our house 2 years ago and rent a small apartment in the city. I don’t know where we will live next year, or in 5 or 10 years, but I always know where home is.
I used to think I needed the right furniture, square footage, and curtains to be at home, but I’ve learned that you can’t build a meaningful life with bricks, concrete, or window treatments. Surrounding yourself with stuff and walls doesn’t always result in creating a home.
In 2014, I found home …
- in Sydney, Australia spending time on the beach with my daughter
- enjoying leisurely meals and strolling the streets of Italy with my parents
- playing Scrabble in New Hampshire with my sister and mother-in-law
- driving in the Doha desert with my sister and her family
And no matter where I am, my husband is my home. I’m home when we are traveling together. I’m home when we are hanging out on the patio, hiking the Wasatch with our dog, or out for a walk in the city. I find home in chats with long distance friends and writing dates with the ones who are close by, and even when I’m sitting quietly by myself.
Home is always where your people are, and yes … where your heart is. Right now, my home is Sydney and I was sure of that the moment I hugged my daughter in the airport when I arrived a few days ago.
Home is eye contact, hand holding, hugs, tears and hearts bursting with love and connection. Home is compassion and patience. It’s laughter and trust and unconditional support. Home has very little to do with the physical spaces we create.
I’ve seen some beautiful houses and elaborate blueprints. Anyone who has ever purchased, sold, or built a house knows what tremendous time, money and energy that involves. What if we spent as much of our resources cultivating our relationships as we did building homes?
A simple place to live
Love is a simple place to live. It doesn’t require the trappings of what some may define as a successful life. All you need is an open heart, time and attention.
I can be at home anywhere because feeling content and safe and loved has nothing to do with the stuff that surrounds me. Now I build those things from the inside out instead of looking for them somewhere else.
By letting go of the things I thought I needed to be complete, I learned that I had everything I needed, and more.
Hi Courtney WOW!! This post speaks volumes of the great life you are living. Congrats.
My takeaway from this awesome post is : Love is a simple place to live. It doesn’t require the trappings of what some may define as a successful life. All you need is an open heart, time and attention.
Thank you.
Eloquent. Thank you.
What a beautiful sentiment! “Home is always where your people are”- this expresses exactly how I feel. Because of our work my husband and I move often and not being attached to material things and focusing on the warm, loving people in our life helps us to stay rooted no matter where we go.
YES!!!! That’s all I have to say. Your post sums it all up. Thank you for writing it.
Hi Courtney,
for nearly 10 years I always thought I need a house. I was reading your blog for half a year. The concept of less convinced me, thought I could give away or trash more than I did until now. But nevertheless: I always wanted a house. After this post the idea about “living small” finally arrived in my head. I’m overwelmed.
I will try to be content with my flat where the kids have their own rooms and we have a small badroom. My DH collects every piece of paper, so our living-room is messy. Books and Paper is most difficult to give away.
Thank you for my small wardrobe. Thank you for this idea.
Beautifully written, Courtney. I’m realizing that more and more with every little “thing” I can do without.
beautiful and so true..thank you for this….
I wish I had learned this a long time ago as I am now trying to clean clutter from years of collecting it. I am still learning to be content with me rather than my stuff and buying more things. But you are so right – home is living in the moment with people you love (that’s my take-away from your post). Thanks for sharing!
So true
Home is where the heart is or in our case wherever we pop our top (camper van top that is)
I remember reading a quote somewhere that said
Build your child’s self esteem before you start building the house.
If only it would catch on.
Beautiful, Courtney! I’m so happy you have found home within yourself. That’s my goal too.
Mahalo so much for this. My wife and I talk about this a lot and it becomes an interesting conversation. I am the minimalist and she accepts it. When we talk about objects, materials, and living space, we definitely have different views. I focus on the things I have and she sometimes strays towards thinking about what we donʻt have (especially the big kitchen she sees on HGTV). But the more and more we talk about whatʻs more important in a home, we begin to understand one another. It can be a challenge but through love and respect, it all works out. Itʻs about finding the balance for us.
Thank you for another reminder that I have everything I ever wanted or needed right here.
Looking forward to seeing/reading about your Aussie adventure!
I do like your blog – so much inspiration there.
I think I’m doing well in being the first generation of my family not to hoard too much stuff.
“No matter where I am, my husband is my home” –
I do understand this, I used to feel the same.
But what about when the husband is long dead, and there is no-one to do the hand-holding, the hugging or the unconditional support?
That makes me need my four walls and roof to feel secure and content. My physical space does matter to me, it’s my security and I love being in it.
Right now I’m decorating in pale calm colours, and simplifying, simplifying! I want a restful relaxing space to come home to.
i feel at times that you are a the “me” that writes my thoughts, and when i read you – i feel yes this is how i feel and this is what i do and should also do – yes i feel what you mean – its always deja vu – i am grateful for your words cause they help me stay focussed – i am grateful for what you share cause that keeps me engaged and assured that this is it !!! . . .
I love reading your emails. Thanks for keeping me constantly inspired and reminding me to focus on what is really important in life. I was doubly excited to see that you’re in my home town of Sydney! Welcome down under!! (And use plenty of sunscreen). I have begun paring down and simplifying to become more effective in my life, and knowing that your journey has taken 8 years has given me permission to be kind to myself in the process. I hope you are refreshed and renewed by your spell in our great city.
Thank you for writing this post! I really need to embrace these words right now. We sold our house almost 3 years ago to relocate for my husband’s job. We are currently debt free and are not looking to buy a place right now. Recently we found out that our rental house will be expanded next year and then sold. Some days this news really gets me down, but I want to embrace this opportunity on our simplicity journey. A new place could be a catalyst for us to keep less stuff, go from two cars to one car, and to meet more people in our community.
I do love the message of this post. My BF and I share a 900 square foot house and his mortgage will be paid off in 8 years. Do you have any pinion on renting vs owning?
Very thought-provoking for me. I’m always in need of change and flux, itching to leave where I am because I’m always looking for that perfect place to call home. But when you mentioned that home is with your husband, and it’s about being safe and loved, I realized that I think there are some insecurities I have that get in the way of my ability to feel at home. Thanks for this post. My favorite thus far.
A really interesting article with some really interesting questions. It inspired me to write my own blog post sharing my thoughts on the topic, and to ask the quesiton, “Are we losing our sense of home just to build a better house?”
Thanks for sharing!
Hi Courtney, I always enjoy reading. I just wanted to say “welcome to Sydney” 🙂 I thought your photo looked suspiciously like the tops of some of our Sydney terraces.
Enjoy being with your daughter and feeling at home. Home is definitely “where your people are”.
All the best and have a lovely time here.