There are 7,043,513,670 people living in this world. Based on the actions of a small fraction of that number, it’s possible that you’ve become less open to love.
When we come into the world as infants, we are open to unconditional love and trust. We know no different. Even as young children the walls start to come up, and then, by the time we are adults, we are skeptical, guarded and have lost faith in unconditional love.
- Because one person laughed at your artwork in grade school, you don’t create anymore.
- After getting teased or bullied by a handful of kids, you don’t trust your peers to support you today.
- Your first, second and third broken heart taught you to never to fully give your heart to another person.
- A bad diagnosis or poor medical treatment from one doctor made you question the performance and intention of all practitioners.
- Getting passed over for a promotion or being treated poorly by your boss caused you to dislike all management.
- Because one blogger didn’t reply to your email, they must all be too busy or uncaring to respond.
- One car cut you off in traffic and now your convinced that all drivers are bad.
- One whisper behind your back and today you question what everyone thinks about you.
Maybe it was worse than all of that. Perhaps it was abuse, or indescribable pain and loss that closed you off. While I don’t dismiss your suffering, I want to ask you to reconsider your reaction. Think about the layers upon layers of protection that you have added to your already thick skin to protect yourself from pain and disappointment. Maybe you saved yourself a little grief. But what about the love and joy and caring and graciousness that didn’t get a chance?
You can’t completely block out the bad stuff without walking away from the good stuff too.
You’ve been hurt and you’ve been hurtful. Today, give yourself a chance for pure, unconditional, generous love by being loving yourself. Open up, peel back the layers, and trust.
1. Kill your TV.
You don’t need to watch the news to know what’s going on in the world.
2. Read a book about happiness.
You can choose what information you want to consume. Start with something happy.
3. Volunteer.
The best way to stop thinking about your pain is to ease their pain.
4. Speak your mind.
Say I love you, thank you, and I’m sorry. Out loud.
5. Forgive.
Those people who hurt you aren’t thinking about you anymore. Why are you still thinking about them? Quietly forgive them and move forward with a whole heart.
6. Trust.
Don’t punish someone you’ve never met, because of the actions of someone in your past. Give people a chance to be loving. Give them a chance to love you and lift you up.
7. Choose love.
Surround yourself with loving people. Visit lovely websites. Work with people you love. Friend and follow lovely people. Support causes that you care about. Do things that make your heart swell.
Even if 1000 people have let you down, there are still 7,043,512,670 people out there. Despite what people did to you and what you see on the news, people are good. They are loving and deserving of your love and they want to love you right back. Look for goodness. Look for happiness. Look for love. It is everywhere.
Hello, I love you.
Lovely. And a good reminder. It’s scary to be open and vulnerable, but I strive to be loving and kind. Not always easy.
It just gets easier.
Hmm…I love the focus of your message. And let me play devil’s advocate for only a second before I get back to the real intention. I wonder how many of those 7,043,513,670 people don’t trust unconditional love anymore because of something I’ve done, said, or failed to do/say? No more!
There are a small handful of people in my life that I love unconditionally. And thanks to your practical ideas, Courtney, I’ll take a chance on trusting in it myself.
Thanks for such a good message! You’ve made me a “tiny bit better” today. 🙂
So true Greg. We’ve all been hurtful, sometimes intentionally and sometimes not. The more of us that act in a loving way, the more of those 7,043,313,670 who will be open to love.
What a wonderful post, I will save this and refer to it often. You are so right, it took me years to learn to open up to people and learn to trust. I am happier for it now than I ever thought I could have been then.
So glad you are open now Lois.
This post is great and so true. It’s funny, but I didn’t realize how closed off I was until I actually, properly, and hopelessly fell in love. After a rough marriage and bad divorce, I fell for a guy (pretty quickly). I did the trust issues, it’s too soon, everything, but my heart wanted it wanted. And it’s funny how that opened up doors. I was so used to things and settled for what amounts to crap, I didn’t realize that there was so much more positive out there.
Anyways..Great post! Have an awesome day.
I love that you are so in love. Congrats!
Thanks for another wonderful post. I volunteer with a tutoring program that work with young adults with Down Syndrome. The students are so kind and have such a sweet innocence. It’s so easy to become hardened by the things that go on in the world and in our own lives. The students in this program help me to see the world through different eyes, and for that I am beyond grateful. Learning to forgive those that have wronged you, learning to live in the moment, treating others with kindness, compassion and enthusiasm….those are lessons worth remembering and working toward!
You are doing great work Lindsay. Thank you. xo
What a beautiful post.
Thank you for that.
I deeply love this post! Hello I love you too ;-D
Hello, I love you too!
gosh, was that ever lovely. you have a great way of sharing simple gems. thank you.
a lovely reminder, courtney. thanks you and good day. 🙂
Well this just made my Friday, thank you for this thoughtful post that hit the nail on the head in so many ways. I just recently discovered this web site and have visited it everyday. I can say I have given up the news for over a year now and am so much happier. In the past since I was very young the news has been a constant in my life. It sure made me worry about things I had zero control over and I came to realize after many years (too many!!) that 99.9% of it doesn’t really impact my life. Leaving that behind has made me focus so much more on the things and people I love. As I live in Canada and it is Thanksgiving for us, being thankful has been a big help as well. Life is hard at times, but I have learned the hard way being thankful for the smallest things make the day so much better. I am going to work on the forgive and trust parts going forward so thank you very much for this today.
I love this post, Courtney. It justifies my eternal optimism with math. 🙂
Hi Courtney. Loved this post. Included a link in Modern Zen Stories VII, my weekly collection of the best reads on the net at http://zenpresence.com/2012/10/modern-zen-stories-vii.html
Thanks,
Dan Garner
ZenPresence.com
I really like the idea of being more open and vulnerable, allowing ourselves to feel more connection and embrace more happiness. But I firmly believe in boundaries or “walls” as some call them too. Look at it this way – there’s a beautiful meadow you’d like to frolic in, but there’s a lion in the meadow. You could run away from the meadow, let the lion maul you, or you can put up a wall between you and the lion, and now you can both enjoy the meadow.
Thank you for such a lovely post Courtney. It is so wonderful to read uplifting things going on in our world. Thanks for the small reminders of how to bring joy into our lives. Blessings!
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