Editor’s Note: This is a guest post from Dusti Arab.
Sitting in front of my computer this morning, I sat with my head in my hands as I read my to-do list. It wasn’t just long or tedious. Heck, most of it I expected to enjoy doing! But it was like looking at a mountain I was completely unprepared to climb. Standing at its base, the fear began to creep into my heart over the monumental task I was taking on.
Why would doing something you love cause you to feel this way? If you are happy with your work, the work should be easy enough to do. That is, until you start comparing yourself to everyone around you. Anyone else guilty of looking at Twitter first thing in the morning and being a little discouraged by how little you matter in the popularity contest that is social media?
I’m really lucky to be in a niche where I have many friends, and many of those friends are very successful. It seems like it comes so naturally to many of them. I begin to wonder why I’m trying to work online at all. With a toddler under my feet, trying to write, working on joint ventures, and attempting to meet deadlines, it begins to feel like the world is against me getting anything done at all.
The doubt starts to edge in.
- Why would someone hire me when they could hire this person?
- How much more successful are they than I am?
- How do they combine motherhood and work?
- Why can’t I be more like that?
- Why am I not more motivated?
It’s easy to feel inadequate. We put so much pressure on ourselves to be more, add more to the mix, commit to more, do more. When someone else appears to have it together, your doubts turn into the fears we all carry.
We fear not being accepted. Not being loved. Not being good enough.
The fears are real. They are so terrifying and debilitating they keep us from acting. This inaction is the real problem, though. If we allow our fear to keep us from doing what we love, achieving our successes, and being the people who we want to be, then fear wins.
Fear is a beautiful little piece of us meant to keep us safe, but it likes to rear its head when it’s not needed. And that’s when you can rise above it. Here are a few affirmations to help you next fear tries to help a little too much.
A short list of affirmations to beat fear
- You are enough.
- You are already everything you need.
- This is an opportunity in disguise. (Albeit a darn good one.)
- You are beautiful.
- The universe wants you to succeed.
- You have a choice.
- Your passion matters.
- You are more than this situation.
- Your creativity is unique and inspiring.
- You are a good mother/father/husband/wife.
- You are worthy of love.
- You are fully capable.
- Someone admires something you do naturally.
- You are worthy of being treated the way you want to be.
Write one down and carry it with you today. Whenever you doubt yourself or your ability to handle a situation, say it to yourself out loud. Smile.
Really. Because the universe wants you to succeed.
Dusti Arab is a writer and branding consultant. You can find her at Undefinable You. She is author of The Minimalist Mom and The Digital Dominatrix.
If simplicity is changing your life, imagine what it could do for your business.
Great post Dusti – full of truth.
I love the short list of affirmations. Funny how instinctively we know all this (deep down) and yet we have to remind ourselves of these things in order to keep ‘fear’ at bay. I’ll definitely be using these this week.
Steve
I’m so glad, Steve! It’s true. These are the kind of things we take for granted and let fall to the wayside. It felt like an important thing to share. I know I suffer when I let fear get the better of me, and I know I’m not alone.
I love this post! In this world it is so easy to get bogged down and I truly find this to be a lovely & helpful post. This is one that will be printed, hung in my cubicle & read often.
Thank you! 🙂
Leslie
That’s beautiful, Leslie! I love that you found it helpful. We all get down on ourselves… It’s getting back up that’s the hard part! Good luck with everything. 🙂
What a wonderful post. Just what I needed today and what a serendipity…I wrote about something similar on my blog, specifically about how our perceptions become reality, even if they’re not always true.
http://diondior.blogspot.com/2011/07/perception-of-reality.html
I find my perceptions or mis-perceptions can be the driving force behind my fear and inaction. Thanks for giving me some tools to overcome them.
xx
Absolutely! Perception can be a tricky one to deal with. Your post has some good insights, too.
Excellent post! Loved the line…you are more than this situation. Too many times we let life take over and create our fears instead of we taking control of the fears.
Questioning my abilities and fearing for my future have been the slogan for my summer.
It was good to read this and be encouraged to push through.
I have fought through inadequacy more than once during our Tiny r(E)volution. It is so easy to get discouraged or to get overwhelmed. And how right you are.
“We fear…”
Do we ever? I do all the time. I look at my wife and I think of our baby-to-be and I am afraid of so many things. But you are so spot on with your list of affirmations. Although I have yet to make a tangible list I keep my affirmations close by. I rest on them. They sit next to me as we drink a cold one at the successful finish of a long project. They take a car ride with me when going to make a much-deserved bank deposit. And they sleep next to me when it is raining outside or cold outside and we have a roof over our head to protect us.
Thank you for your honest and your post!
I hear you loud and clear, Drew. We have watched each other for a long time online, and I only wish we could see more. It’s so easy to think everything is okay after reading a post or a tweet, but so often that’s not the case.
Ack! I cannot wait to see baby pictures! 🙂
I’ve stumbled upon this blog – and I’m so glad I did! What a brilliant post. My favourite affirmation is ‘Your passion matters’; I’ve spent most of my adult life wanting to be a writer, but I’ve let doubts and cynicism from others stop me. Not any more – I’ve recently started writing a blog and I’m writing lots of bits and pieces during any spare moments I have. I’m at the very beginning of my journey, and I’d love, some day, to have something published. But, if that never happens, I know I’ll have thoroughly enjoyed the journey trying! At last, I’m allowing myself to let my passion matter!
Woo hoo! That’s fabulous, Jane! Letting your passion become a part of your life is pretty fulfilling, right?
Hello Dusti, I know what it’s like to try to write with toddlers running around, on top of, behind me. I hear you. Things take me longer, but I’m proud to have kept my practice going, creating a blog, and being home with my kids.
It’s a fine line to walk, this marketing, social media business. There is so much focus on getting numbers, that I think it’s easy to get sucked into thinking we are less if are numbers aren’t skyrocketing. The fine line for me is not over-identifying with my blog or with what others think of it. Opinions matter/numbers are important, but (I work on) not basing my well being on those numbers/opinions.
We can be dependent on the numbers without letting them define us. At least, that’s what I’m working on. 😉
Haha, it’s true! I’ve decided if I can write a good piece of work while she is awake and running around, that is worth the ten I did while she wasn’t.
The numbers can be harrowing at times. Mostly, I don’t look at them anymore because they don’t actually reflect the progress I’m making. With social media, it’s more the 140 characters of “My life is awesome!” I love everyone I follow, but lately my favorite is Elisa Douchette because she’s not afraid to tweet about when her hair gets caught in a fan.
Things like that makes me feel better when my hair is getting cut with playdoh scissors. 😉
“Anyone else guilty of looking at Twitter first thing in the morning and being a little discouraged by how little you matter in the popularity contest that is social media?”
Ouch. Absolutely.
I’m emailing this list of affirmations to myself because, wow, I need them.