I know people who are considering small shifts, creating new habits and/or are on the brink of a big transformation. While some of this stuff happens organically, most of it requires a framework. Understanding where you are makes it much easier to go where you want to be.
If you want to change your diet, work, relationships or other areas of your life, get your notebook out because it’s time to make a list. Choosing what you want less, more or none of will help you create an environment for the change you desire.
As I’ve been making cuts, to make room for things that matter to me, I’ve noticed a pattern. What doesn’t stay the same falls into 3 categories; less, more, or none. It sounds obvious, but until you see it on paper, it’s hard to identify what needs to go where.
Making this list will help you clearly see what’s in your life that is not adding to, or even stealing:
- love
- health
- energy
- creativity
- joy
- sleep
- focus
- clarity
- purpose
The list will also help you see what’s missing.
Less, more or none
Make 3 lists on one piece of paper and immediately file things into three categories; less, more or none. Once you do that, keep the list close by for the next few days and observe what’s going on. Do you want to shift anything from one category to the next? Anything new to add that you didn’t think about on the first round? Use your list to create the environment necessary for transformation.
Following is my list. Like all of my experiments, I’ll be watching closely to see what’s working, what’s not, and what requires adjustments.
None
In this article Gretchen Rubin says, “You’re a moderator if you find that occasional indulgence heightens your pleasure–and strengthens your resolve or you get panicky at the thought of “never” getting or doing something. You’re an abstainer if you have trouble stopping something once you’ve started and aren’t tempted by things that you’ve decided are off-limits.
I’m an abstainer because I’d much prefer to eliminate the temptation. I think a sleeve of thin mints is a single serving so I didn’t order Girl Scout cookies this year. I’m happier than I would have been if they were in the freezer calling my name all day. I’d rather have none than one.
on my none list:
- alcohol: I enjoy wine and fun cocktails, but I can’t overlook the fact that while alcohol makes me feel fun and relaxed, it also makes me feel tired and fuzzy. I want clarity right now and wine doesn’t contribute to that.
- snacking: I can easily graze my way from one meal to the next, but I feel better when I stick to eating during meals only. Then I don’t have to focus on what I should or shouldn’t eat between meals and I am more aware about what I actually eat over the course of a day.
- extra inboxes: It can be a struggle to keep up with email alone, so I’m putting a stop to the inflow from other directions like Facebook messages. Some people say you have to be everywhere to be successful, but I am beginning to see that you compromise connection when you are everywhere. Reacting isn’t connecting.
Less
As an abstainer, I know that there are certain foods, like Girl Scout cookies, and other sweets that are pretty much off-limits, but I can manage less of some things.
on my less list:
- chips and salsa: This has been my go to salty indulgence lately. I can enjoy them occasionally, but not daily.
- social media: I did a 10 day social media fast earlier this year, and realized I can be more present in my work if I am less present on social media.
- stuff: I’ll admit, there isn’t much more to get rid of, but I’ll continue to pare down. There is nothing I’ve let go of that I wish I had kept.
More
The purpose of cutting out things that don’t contribute to health, wellness, love, purpose, good work and creativity (whatever that looks like to you) is to make time and space for everything that does. I’m not missing the irony here that I want more more, instead of more less right now, but that is part of the path I’m on. You can see the path I was on yesterday in the photo above.
on my more list:
- greens: Smoothies, salads, and soups will be the core of my daily diet and there will be greens at every meal.
- hikes and walks: Spring has sprung and I’m looking for 5 miles or more every day of my feet on the dirt or pavement.
- writing: There is always more writing.
- great books: I’m reading Man’s Search for Meaning
, and you can see what I’ve read recently here.
- laughter: More funny things that aren’t on You Tube.
- meditating: It’s time to go deep.
- cuts: There are always more cuts.
- not doing: When I realized how challenging this was, I knew I needed more.
- gratitude. There is always room to be more grateful.
Your list will probably look different from mine, and my list in a month or so might look different from this. For today though, this is where I am.
Identifying what I want less, more or none of helps me commit to change and growth. It removes the guess-work, the “well maybe just one” and any confusion about what I want to do with my time and energy.
love this so much…what a great way to find focus and clarity. I plan to make my lists later today!
Thanks for the great read! This article comes at a perfect time as I’m trying to do the same!
Lately I have realized I want LESS choice in my life. After listening to ‘The Paradox of Choice’ by Barry Schwartz, I’ve noticed the daily decisions we make, and how these decisions consume time + energy, without making us happier. Downsizing my belongings has limited the choices I need to make quite a bit, but not all of it. Whenever I encounter a decision I need to make, I stop to think if there is a way to eliminate this choice in the future. This way I’m trying to make my life a less complicated, so I have a MORE room for what matters most to me.
What an interesting concept! I really love this idea.
One of my “none” items would be sweets as well, and this is making me glad I didn’t order GS cookies this year too because I would also eat a whole sleeve in one sitting!
One of my “less” items would absolutely be spending less time on social media. I’ve found myself getting sucked into it more than ever lately, and deleted all social media apps off my phone to help curb that.
There are so many “more” items I would love to add to my life. More walks, more giggles with my baby girl, more salads, more sleep…..
Just completely love these three lists, Courtney.
This may seem obvious in a way, but I think most of us don’t necessarily get this at a deep level: “I did a 10 day social media fast earlier this year, and realized I can be more present in my work if I am less present on social media.” I’m taking 2 days off each week from social media, and I’m planning for a month in the summer.
Oh my, this post has my brain working overtime! I thought upon reading it that it would be fairly simple to write down a few things that I wanted less of, a few that I wanted more of, and a few that I wanted none of. But, alas! ‘Tis not so simple. Thank you, Courtney, for once again making me think, and examine my life and my direction. I also agree that this is going to be a dynamic list, changing as I change, growing as I grow.
I am always trying to simplify my life and this spells out a fantastic way to help figure out what/how I need to change. I plan to sit down with a notebook and complete this exercise.
I have to laugh at the many mentions about the Girl Scout cookies since just yesterday I paused at the stand outside of my local market, but ultimately walked away without purchasing any!
Less clutter and stuff!
More time to relax with family
More intentional time with friends
Those were some of my goals for this year
Great article Courtney and its gotten me excited as an avid list maker. I have been paring down for quite a while now BUT THERE IS ALWAYS MORE. So many things id like more time for, my sewing, gardening, yoga and improving my diet & trying to eliminate animal products completely (vego at mo). But its good to have areas to keep on simplifying and a journey that inspires me daily.
This is a super idea! It’s so important to do these lists so that there are no mini-decisions to be made all day long; you will already KNOW which category things fall into! Simple!
What about FEWER though?! I want to own fewer books, have fewer gadgets on my kitchen counter, have fewer weeds in my veggie garden, get fewer emails. FEWER needs equal time! LOL
I love this! It definitely simplifies our goals down to focusing on the broader things that we desire and love. I’ll be thinking about these lists, especially as we get ready to move!
I love this post! So much to think about. Even in losing weight, when you already have a pretty healthy diet, it’s all about portion control!
You expressed this so well Courtney! I am striving for-
-More rest & less coffee
-More time outside & less time on electronics
-More voice conversations with those I love & less emails between us.
Thank you so much for the wonderful article!
This is such a wonderful idea! We are what we focus our time on and this exercise brings it into sharp relief. I’m in the same boat with goodies and treats–it’s better for me to have none than “just a few.”
I love chips (love them) and I know that I can’t control myself to eat only a couple, so, we just don’t have them in the house. It’s amazing how simple, yet effective, the none principle is.
I have a work colleague who is an energy drainer, any ideas how I can have less of them or more energy at work?
You could poison this person. Of course, there may be some legal consequences for that, so that’s something you might want to consider.
Beyond that, I’m going to guess that this co-worker only comes to you and drains you because you tolerate such foolishness. You’re too nice. This is normally a good thing, unless you get walked all over.
It’s tough, but be honest. Tell co-worker that you’re having trouble getting your work done how you want it because you’re spending too much time talking with him/her. If you want the relationship, share a break with co-worker 2-3x per week. I’ll imagine co-worker will eventually drift to a different person more willing to listen.
Or the poison.
Ha, poison good idea 🙂
Thanks for taking the time to reply, I need to be firm!
I absolutely love the idea of making these lists. Half the time I don’t even know what I want. I eat when I’m not sure I’m hungry. I say yes to things I don’t like. I think it would really help to try to define these things a little.
Your timing on this post is perfect as I am just about to set my Action Items for this year’s One Little Word. This is a perfect correlation. Thank you for giving me an excellent way to organize my thoughts into concrete actions.
I am also about to do a diet overhaul. I am glad to know I am not the only one who feels some items are a slippery slope. Best to have none when you can’t stop at one. Thank you for putting this so clearly.
A very practical post. It could also be drawn up in an activities table of more, less and none columns. I believe we will need discipline to stick to the list and make it work for us.