Editor’s Note: This is a post in the series, Simplicity in Action.
Sharon
I had a problem. I hated Christmas. It was November and my three boys were looking forward to the holiday, but I was dreading it – the stress, the work, the frantic schedule, and the expense.
It hadn’t always been like that. My family celebrated Christmas in simple ways. We had one box of tree decorations; the rest of the house was decorated with Christmas cards, and a few holly sprigs. We enjoyed a few traditional treats and some special meals, but it was very minimal.
Then I came to Canada.
What a culture shock! I was completely overwhelmed by the excess and the frenetic pace of what I could only describe as “Christmas frenzy.” I stood stunned and speechless in the mall and vowed never to get caught up in it.
But slowly, one step at a time, I bought into the whole Christmas craziness.
- Our decorations filled dozens of boxes, which took days to put up and take down.
- I started buying gifts in January.
- My schedule was filled to overflowing with events and activities.
- Wrapping and baking took hours.
- Our cupboards and freezer were stuffed with goodies that took months to eat.
In many respects I had Christmas in hand. I was organized and we had a Christmas worthy of Pinterest. But I didn’t have time to enjoy any of it. I was tired, stressed, and had turned into a Grinch. That year I decided to take a long hard look at the way I was doing Christmas. I remembered the simple celebrations of my childhood and realized that I had really happy memories of those times. The emphasis was on people rather than things. I wanted to reclaim that for my family.
It was time to simplify! I took action.
- I cancelled our annual open house and made gingerbread houses with my boys instead.
- I stopped attending every Advent function at our church (tricky, because I was married to the minister) and curled up with my boys to listen to Patrick Stewart read “The Christmas Carol.”
- I cut down my baking to 3 favourites chosen by the family.
- I came to a mutual agreement with my brothers and friends not to exchange gifts.
- I stopped sending Christmas cards (with the exception of family and friends overseas).
These small actions made a huge difference to the way I experienced Christmas. I found that for the first time in years I was looking forward to the holidays. I had time for Advent and Christmas activities with my children. I wasn’t tired and stressed about my endless “to do list.”
At first I was worried that my boys would feel let down by this simpler Christmas. To my delight they seemed to enjoy the holiday as much as they always had. In fact I think they really appreciated the fact that I wasn’t irritable and cranky! What a relief!
It has been 15 years since I first started my quest to simplify Christmas and every year I find one more way to reduce the craziness.Annual newsletters have been scrapped and replaced with a collage of a few favorite photographs from the year. Physical gifts have been replaced with things like library memberships, tickets to live theatre, and donations to charities. The number of decorations has been drastically reduced.
As I write this post I see the first glimmers of the Christmas craziness beginning. The sales pitches are starting and Pinterest is filled with Christmas planners with daily actions for the next two months. I smile and give thanks that I have found a simpler way to celebrate the holidays. It is a way that gives me the freedom to enjoy the precious gift of family and friends.
Read more from Sharon at Rediscovered Families and say hi on Twitter.
I’m so glad to hear this story. In fact, this Sunday I plan to notify family (all live out of town) and friends that we are requesting to receive gifts of experiences rather than toys/items for the house for all holidays and celebrations. I have a 3 yr old and 1 yr old and started simplifying things after they were born. It’s been incredibly freeing for me and my family but very difficult for some family members, namely grandparents.
I love to hear the joy that you have experienced from changing the way you give gifts. I’m really looking forward to the change and hoping that our family will eventually see the benefits to it, as well.
It is amazing how freeing simplifying can be isn’t it? It can be hard trying to communicate that to family members. So many think that only physical gifts will convey their love when actually the gift of time or experiences are really so much better. I hope that you will be able to experience the joy of a simpler Christmas with your family.
Me too. Thank you!
That was a lovely story – and so timely as I am in the planning stages for Christmas. Thank you for making a simpler holiday seem doable and fun!
You are welcome Diane! I hope it is a season full of joy and blessing for you.
You have found the path to true Christmas peace and meaning. Thank you for sharing!
Thank you Kathy
My friends and husband were horrified when I stopped sending Christmas Card about ten years ago. I’ve never regretted the decision. When I receive cards now, I’m always amazed that people bother. Thanks for sharing your story.
It is such a simple change isn’t it? I would much rather spend the time doing something with my family!
Similarly to Jennifer, I stopped sending Christmas cards a few years ago and really it seemed that no one seemed to miss them (my husband was also horrified and I told him if it meant so much to him he could do it – guess what, they never got sent). I did about 20 last year since it was something I missed but I think that was it for me.
It’s funny how everyone is horrified that you are being selective and simple but then they realize how much nicer it is and go “Why didn’t we do this sooner?!” Sharon, I am in awe considering your position – that’s the stuff I have the most difficult time saying “no” to this time of year. Thanks for sharing!
Thank you Jennifer. I think that each person has to decide how and what they want to spend their time on as the holiday approaches. I really agonized over cancelling the open house. I thought people would be so upset, but no one minded at all! Learning to say no has been very liberating, although I must confess that I still find it hard!!
Sharon,
I’m so happy you found ways to simplify your Christmas and bring the real delight and meaning back into the process. I’m sure your positive steps will inspire others!
Thank you Sandra 🙂
Lovely Sharon – good on you for taking back the spirit of Christmas and focusing on what really matters!
Living in the southern hemisphere and having a summer Christmas makes it a little easier to do things in a more relaxed way (many families do a big beach bbq for the day). I confess I still love tree decorations but have focused on buying just one or two beautiful heirloom items each year (Swarovski crystal stars). Other decorations throughout the house are minimal.
I’ve stopped cards, only bake a traditional cake, hold a casual bring a plate drinks evening for everyone in our rural valley and keep to a simple menu that doesn’t require last minute stress (ham and smoked salmon). Gift giving has been minimised (I don’t have children yet) – I buy a joint present for my parents plus a smaller individual one each and as an extended family we have an agreement to buy one $50 gift for a selected family member. With my 2 closest friends we usually give one another a special decoration – I love that each year when I decorate the tree I remember what each has given me. We also rotate between the 3 main households in our family each year as to who is hosting the day – it’s nice to have a couple of years off and just help out by bringing a couple of dishes.
Hope everyone has a lovely relaxed holiday season!
Thank-You so much for putting in writing what I also used to feel toward the season (STRESSED!!)
Similar to you a couple years ago I stopped sending cards, I also GREATLY paired down my attendance at the many Christmas festivities. I don’t bake ANYTHING ( my coworkers bring/buy/bake too much stuff anyway) and I stopped giving out any presents to coworkers ( they did not need the stuff/junk anyway). I give 2 cash gifts each year to family members…and that’s it.
I have a couple decorations which I put out…and that’s it.
I spend the day reflecting on the reason for the season and I call a couple family members.
It is very relaxing.
That’s awesome, Sharon!
I’m glad you found your way from frantic to simple!
I’m the same way. I simplified long ago.
I decorate the tree and now my grandchildren help me. I have a few decorations given to me by family members, that I put out and that’s it. I send cards only to a few older family members – namely in-laws and an older Aunt & Uncle – because they don’t use the internet to communicate.
My husband sends gift cards to his Sister & BIL and to his parents. And I buy the gifts for my daughter, grandkids and mother – simple stuff – nothing overboard.
We’ve put the emphasis on having a nice dinner together. Once I simplified the menu for that, I was a much happier lady.
It’s all about the memories for us, not the stuff.
Wonderful – and what perfect timing. Thank you!!
Holidays have gone too far into the realm of consumerism, each of us needs to find our way out of that mall. Simple really is the stress-free way to go. Enjoy time spent together, hike, ski, sip mulled wine by the fire…those are the moments that really matter.
I have made a concerted effort to simplify Christmas over the last couple years, too, and I’ve been surprised by how much happier my kids have been with a smaller pile of gifts (we do four: something to wear, something to read, something you want, something you need).