Editor’s Note: This is a post in the series, Simplicity in Action. If you’d like to submit your story of how simplicity has worked in your life, please read more here. You can write about anything from decluttering a junk drawer to simplifying your diet. Let your small and big changes inspire others.
Jaime
After my mother died and my father evacuated to Arizona I was left with the unhappy task of cleaning out my family’s home. Friends, acquaintances, and even strangers came to buy, donate, haul, lug, and discard. However, it was mainly me pouring over 35 years of things unceremoniously dumped in my basement. When I finally made it to the cinder block wall, I put my hand out to touch it and cried a bit because I never thought I’d make it to the end of all that stuff, because I didn’t know why we had all this stuff in the first place, and because I knew that I would never accumulate that amount of stuff again.
The exact moment my hand touched the wall in family’s basement I became a minimalist. I didn’t know that word at the time, but I did know that getting rid of stuff that was unused and unloved had become very liberating for me. I let go of things that not only had no value or meaning to me anymore, but also things that did. I realized that things had emotional weight and I didn’t have to carry that burden with me.
In the years that followed I continued to pare down both my belongings and the sizes of my living spaces. With each new bag of donations and with each smaller apartment (ok, 2) I was able to breathe more deeply and know myself better. I really “thought before I bought,” most of the time realizing that not only did I not need it, but also that I did not want it.
I also made the decision to purge my digital life. I went as paperless as possible from bills to music to pictures to books. In addition I made the somewhat controversial decision to leave Facebook. Granted I sometimes feel a bit out of the loop, but overall I am happy with the choice I made. I feel that Facebook doesn’t allow for the natural attrition of friendships. Do I really need to be “friends” with my kindergarten teacher and my ex-boyfriend from college? (Answer: No.)
My journey of minimalism continues to this day, and although I am far from perfect, the changes I have made have allowed me to focus on experiences over things. Some might disagree but for me that is infinitely more satisfying than a basement full of stuff or an endlessly flowing news feed.
Jaime – Way to go – I love your story! So much so that I just Tweeted, Google+’d, and yes – even Facebooked it!
Thanks so much!
Love your story Jamie, I had a different experience. My grandparents,who raised me, had quite a bit of stuff, stored in their home, nothing like what you had to deal with. When my grandmother died and my grandfather was in poor health, he cleaned out everything he didn’t need to live his day to day life. He said he didn’t want to burden anyone with cleaning out his house. When he passed away, the home was easy to clean out as it contained only the basic appliances, his bed, dresser, some clothes, a kitchen table and chairs, a couple of chairs in the living room, and just enough dishes and utensils for him to prepare and have his own meals (with a couple extra for company to join him). It made an impression on me and I knew then I didn’t want to burden my children with stuff when I go. I’ve downsized to a studio apartment which won’t take much to empty when I’m gone.
I think your children will very much appreciate your decision to move to a studio. You also some excited about it. Also I am sure living in the studio is in some ways very liberating and you can go about the business of living without worrying too much about running a whole household.
I enjoyed your story. I too have had to help clear out two family members homes after recent deaths – both bachelors and both huge tasks.
Doing so has shifted my perception of my relationship with stuff and also made me recognise the limited time I spent with my parents. Clearing my Uncle’s and Great Uncle’s possessions has made me want to lighten my possessions now and had made me reduce my work commitments so that I have more time to spend with my elderly parents.
Good luck on your journey, Jamie 🙂
Thanks for your comment. I totally empathize with the work you did for your uncles. It can certainly be overwhelming. Yes, like you I definitely try to focus on experiences over expenditures. Very liberating. The the best to you as well.
What a touching story. I’m sorry for your losses and all you had to move through but it seems like you came out the other side a new person feel far more satisfied.
Thanks very much for your comments!
I loved the simplicity that ran through your story, Jaime. I’ve come to this minimalist Life, too, somewhat in reaction to wading through and managing STUFF.
The other day I was having a Very Bad Day and I realised that BEing out in the World, somedays are definitely going to hit me upside the head that way. I spend a great deal of my time, happily, in Solitude, writing, making my art, and BEing Present in Right Now.
I recently got off of Facebook, but it only lasted until I logged onto something else connected with it a couple weeks later. Oh well… Until this morning, reading your story, I never really thought about it again.
Now I am thinking of it and wondering if I only THINK it matters to anyone other than ME whether I am ON FB or OFF. Thank you for that.
Thank you for your kind words about my piece.
I am glad that you find so much satisfaction in your art. I think there is a misperception that if you are alone you are lonely. I know for many people that is not the case (including myself!). I am happy to hear that you do what you love and are content.
I have to admit that leaving Facebook for good was a challenge. I am not sure if I will go back — as it seems so much communication goes on there now. I’d say take it in stride and do what seems right.
Jamie, thank you for sharing your story. The visual of touching the cement wall is so powerful. I love how Lois shared the story of her grandfather. Thanks, Lois. May we all be that thoughtful. Reflecting on your post and others’ comments, I am thinking about what else can go (usually ruminate on this daily and act on it weekly).
What if I were to die today? Who would want any of my “stuff”? Why do I want it? Maybe someone else could use it. In fact, I am going to have a little Browse and Take Table or Area at my next book club. One member recently purchased a new home. Perhaps she might need a $250 mini-sculpture that is gathering dust at this very moment.
Your story is very inspiring. And I am glad to know I am not the only human being alive without a Facebook account 😛
I have been very inspired by your story Jaime. I have been trying to minimize my “stuff” since at one point in time, I was a mini hoarder. I am doing it slowly, but every new thing I clean out, makes me feel better. Thank you for sharing 🙂
Hi–Loved your blog and certainly can relate to the purging of things that have no meaning. I cleaned out my my garage recently and had at least 15 big bags of “garbage” and I know that I am ready to sort through what I thought I needed to hold on to for another 5, 10 , 15, 20 years. It’s a heavy weight to hold but when the time is right it’s easy to shed.
Thank you!
Kelly