Editor’s Note: This is a post in the new series, Simplicity in Action. If you’d like to submit your story of how simplicity has worked in your life, please read more here. You can write about anything from decluttering a junk drawer to simplifying your diet. Let your small and big changes inspire others.
Samantha
Voluntary simplicity has helped me overcome many of my deepest fears. As a teen, I suffered social phobia to such an extent that I refused to leave my bedroom for 3 years. Now, looking back I see how many of my fears were based around materialism. I was not social phobic because I feared people would physically hurt me. I was social phobic because I feared how people would judge me.
I feared not wearing the right clothes or not having the money to buy the latest must have item. I feared my house was not good enough, or that I would end up in a lower paying job than others. At school I had been bullied for never wearing the right clothes. I felt like I did not belong as I did not like the same things as them. I ended up liking music, watching TV and going to movies just to fit in.
After I left school (well dropped out), I gained an interest in alternative therapies, as a way of trying to beat my social phobia. I do believe alternative therapy does work, and it did get me to point where I should have been able to recover, but it also became an addiction. I felt I could face my problem if I bought this crystal, or this aromatherapy oil, or go to this therapy or that. It was as though I was buying one thing and then seeing another advert for a ‘cure’ and that always delayed my recovery.
Since simplifying my life and de-cluttering the things that didn’t fit with who I am, I have found that my confidence has grown. Because I am no longer buying things or doing things simply to try and fit in with others, I feel more confident in myself. As I feel more confident in myself I feel less anxious around others.
De-cluttering has also helped me realise which specific people in my life have had a negative effect on my confidence. As I looked at what I owned and what I could get rid of I thought about what each item represented. I found there were items that had been given to me by specific people, who I did love, but who had brought me down a lot, or not believed in me. I realised these items constantly reminded me how they constantly made me feel that I was a failure or not good enough.
De-cluttering these items helped me to mentally release the power they had over me. I know I cannot change the way people act towards me, but I can change the way I respond.
Read more from Samantha at her blog, Minimalist Dreams.
Good post. Look forward to reading from others. And perhaps contribute one of my own.
Jeffrey, I’m looking forward to your story!
I am glad you enjoyed my post. I would love to read your story one day.
This post really re-framed my notions about My Own Story. Funny, I felt I wasn’t “simple enough” yet to really HAVE a story. Thanks so much, Samantha and Courtney, for encouraging me to let that go.
Currie, That was my hope for this series. We can learn so much from each other.
Thank you for taking the time to read it.
Wow that was so honest and so emotional. Thank you for posting! I’ll stop by your blog,x
Thank you for reading. Its nice to be called honest after all this time in hiding
Samantha, wow, thanks for sharing! You are awesome. Keep remembering you are not your clothes or your stuff. Find people who like you for who you really are. You’re the best you that can be, no one else can be you!
Courtney, thank you for starting this series, it’s great to read various people’s experiences and success stories, and all in one place. Looking forward to more.
Thank you for reading. I know now I am not my clothes or stuff. They are just things I used to hide behind.
Beautiful story…one that I can really relate to. 🙂
I am in the process of de-cluttering our home…difficult because I am a “recovering” packrat…my husband has not seen the light yet. 🙂 But I know it must be done…living with less is energizing and freeing, bringing life into balance. I appreciate that you share your story…it will certainly help others.
I’ve been following your blog for a while…but have been saving your posts (clutter, clutter) instead of reading them. I’ve read this one now…and will read the others tomorrow morning and then delete them…computer clutter can be overwhelming also. 🙂
Thank you. I think today is the first time I have realised that writing not only helps me but can help others too.
I actually shed a few tears at that thought, so thank you
Samantha’s story stuck a chord. Her story reflects a lot of my own. As a teen I was painfully shy. And much of what was considered “in” or popular did not resonate with me, so I was a bit of a on outcast too. School was hard. I loved learning, but the socializing was hard. We are so much more than our appearance or things. During my 30’s now I’ve come into my own and unafraid of sharing the real me and meeting others. As I embrace a more simplified life it’s wonderful to encounter others starting or already walking the path. Wonderful new series, Courtney!
Thanks Tracy, I hope you will consider submitting your story.
Just recently found your blog but I am in the middle of what I am calling “The Great Summer Clean Out!” My kids(4) are all in college and I have been in such a rut. I thought when they left I would get “all those things done”. Well, I have had three major appliances break this summer and each led to a redo of sorts. The first was the freezer in the garage–which still had remains of sports gear from many assorted teams. Many trips to Goodwill, a few donations to other teams and a pickup full to the dump & the garage is done. Then the washing machine broke. I am still in the throws of that cleaning process. I still don’t have an installed machine yet–it is on order. Plumbing had to be repaired and venting & electrical redone and some construction work to accommodate the new machine. After finding your post I decided while the house was in disarray it was time to clean out all the corners. Again, more trips to Goodwill, more donations made, and lots of trash going out to the dumpster. Finally, the lawn mower broke and the tool shed got a good cleaning. Keeping you in the back of my mind has helped me get rid of things I was keeping for no reason. Still more to clean–that will be the Great Fall Cleanout!! Thanks for your words of encouragement at my time of crisis!
Thanks for this series, it is awesome.
Samantha, your story is so painful to read, and I can’t even imagine what you have been through. But I’m so happy that you are where you are NOW! Yay! Keep up the great work and thank you for sharing. YOU! ARE! NOT! ALONE!!!!
Carol in the Land of OZ: I’m truly impressed with how you’ve taken some rather negative situations and made the best of them. You have inspired me for some of my own home clean out situations!