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Confessions of an Aspiring Minimalist

Author Courtney Carver

According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, the definition of aspire is to seek to attain or accomplish a particular goal. The great thing about aspiring to do or be something, is that every day, your actions can move you closer to your goal. There are some things with very defined parameters so you know when you not aspiring anymore, but actually being the thing you aspired to be. For instance, after you stop eating meat, you aren’t an aspiring vegetarian anymore, you are an actual vegetarian. When you see your first patient, you are not aspiring to be a doctor, you are a doctor.

Minimalism is different. It is not clearly defined when applied to lifestyle. Art and music perhaps, but lifestyle, no.  My choices reflect the person I want to be, but my mindset needs some work. I have been accumulating stuff and thinking a certain way for 40 years, so I don’t expect to be transformed immediately.  While I have done a pretty good job getting rid of stuff, not buying stuff, paying off debt and lots of other things in the less is more arena, I may need to work on the following areas:

Confessions of an Aspiring Minimalist

  • I haven’t canceled my subscription to Sephora’s weekly newsletters. I haven’t stepped foot in our brand new local Sephora or made any purchases from Sephora.com. I typically don’t even open the newsletter, but if the subject line sparks my curiosity, I will have a look. I have talked about my cosmetic obsession before and it’s almost laughable, because I don’t wear much make-up. Even though it’s been almost four months since I made my commitment not to buy new make-up for three months, the only thing I’ve purchased is mascara.
  • When the holiday Nordstrom Catalog arrived in the mail, my heart jumped. Almost one month into minimalist fashion Project 333, I know I won’t be buying anything new in fashion, but I still like to see what’s out there.
  • I look forward to movie night. I don’t watch mindless TV anymore, channel surf or waste hours a day in front of the tube, but my husband and I do order movies from Netflix and I really love movie night.
  • I like the smell of a new car. My car is in for repair and I have a loaner vehicle that is much newer than my vehicle. Every time I get in the driver’s seat, I think, “I could get used to this”. I know I will never buy a new car and actually look forward to living a car-free life someday, but while I have to drive, I enjoy being really comfortable. That being said, I am really comfortable in my own car. I guess if you never ride in first class, you don’t know what you’re missing in coach, but once you get a taste…
  • I would love to get my hair colored (by a professional) I stopped having my hair colored almost a year ago and do it myself. I save about $400 a year. I also wouldn’t mind a 90 minute facial followed by a nice massage, but those are things that I have put on my luxury list, instead of my “I deserve it” list.
  • The new iphone? Yes please. I have an iphone and love it. The newer model is sleek and shiny. It has a few more tricks, like the video phone feature, but mine works just fine. My iphone has some bumps and bruises, (because I hate using a cover to protect it) but it is enough for me.
  • Room service is my idea of decadent indulgence. In staying at a cheaper b&b on a recent trip to San Francisco, I had a slight yearning for the Ritz Carlton and room service. Note: I have never stayed in a Ritz Carlton, but I have stayed at nice hotels with great service. In exchange for upscale luxury, I got to enjoy homemade croissants with people from all over the world, and learned I would make that trade again.

With all of my shortcomings, there has been some dramatic improvement. For instance, it just occurred to me that my daughter and I didn’t spend an afternoon pouring over the September Issue of Vogue this year. When I went to Target for something the other day, I realized that I used to stop in every weekend, and now it is only when I really need something. Our family usually takes a vacation out of the country each year, and this year, we’ve hardly left the state. We don’t spend afternoons on the couch watching TV ever since I canceled the cable and we don’t dread going to the mailbox, now that we have cleared our debt.

So why do I share the fact that I am tempted by luxury and consumerism? Because maybe you are too in one way or another. Every day we are all faced with choices. Every choice we make either leads us towards the life we want or away from it. By recognizing that, we can start to make real strides. It might be small choices like choosing an apple over a bag of chips if you want to lose weight, or a bigger choice, like not buying a new iphone, because you want to build a comfortable emergency fund. Either way, when you clearly see that each choice makes a difference, the right choice becomes easier to make.

Because minimalism doesn’t look the same for everyone, despite the misconceptions out there, perhaps I am not an aspiring minimalist, but an evolving minimalist. Maybe I don’t need a name for it. Maybe I am content just living with less. I really like the idea that I may never reach my goal, but I get to live my goal every day, choice by choice.

What choices have you made that help you to live with less?

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Minimalism Misconceptions

Author Courtney Carver

Minimalism comes in many shapes and sizes. While there is no one, right way to live a minimalistic lifestyle, you do typically choose to live with less. In my minimalist approach, less spending, less stuff and less obligation, are all part of being a minimalist. I think more and more people are becoming interested in living real lives that don’t revolve around stuff, but are afraid to aspire to minimalism, because of a few misconceptions that I hope to clear up.

10 Misconceptions about Minimalism

Minimalism is an event – Minimalism starts in your heart and mind, not in your closet. Cleaning your closet does not make you a minimalist, but could be the start of it.

Minimalism is a religion – The only thing you have believe in to adopt a minimalist lifestyle, is that your life will be better with less.

Minimalists never spend money – Spending on the essentials and what matters to you, is different than a shopping spree at Target or spending a day at the mall. Minimalists often spend purposefully and vote with their dollars.

Minimalists are selfish – They may not spend on extravagant gifts, but because they have cleared the clutter in their own lives, they have the time and space to be more thoughtful about yours, and in turn become more giving.

Minimalists all live with less than 100 things – Dave Bruno and many other minimalists live with less than 100 things, but that doesn’t mean you have to do that to start applying minimalism to your life.

Minimalists live alone and don’t have kids –  I have a daughter and husband, Joshua Becker has a wife and two young children, Leo Babauta is married with 6 children.

Minimalism is extreme – It could be as extreme, but you can jump into minimalism anytime, in any situation.

You have to be born into minimalism – I did not grow up or live most of my adult life with less, in fact, it was with excess. Just like I stopped eating meat and became a vegetarian, I have stopped living with too much, and am becoming a minimalist. It’s your life, and you can change it, whenever you want to.

Minimalists don’t drive cars – Tammy Strobel from Rowdy Kittens doesn’t drive a car, but I do. Depending on your current life situation, you may need a car. I do, but choose to drive less.

If your partner is not a minimalist, you can’t be one either – While my husband is excited about simplifying our life, I am definitely leading the movement in our house. He may never want to get rid of as much as I do, and some days, I think he is afraid that he will come home and find out that I gave away the front door, and kitchen sink. That being said, I think he is noticing that the less time I spend on stuff, the more I spend on him and us.

If minimalism is appealing to you, keep in mind that you can dip your toe or dive right in!

What’s in Your Purse?

Author Courtney Carver

photo credit: click here


I recently read a blog post by Everett Bogue called How to Live with 50 Things. It is a great piece about extreme minimalism. I am not interested in only owning 50 things (yet), but it made me think, at the very least,  I should be carrying less in my purse. When I thought about the fact that some women carry more in their purse, than some minimalists own, I found one of my smallest purses and got to work downsizing.

The message from Everett’s post that really made me think about how great it would be to carry less was, “When you have 50 things there is no way to lose things. I’m convinced that once we pass 150 things our minds can no longer pinpoint the exact location of all our individual possessions.” If you’ve ever lost your cell phone, raise your hand. How about a pen? Business cards? Lipstick? Now, how many times were those items actually in your black hole of a purse the entire time you thought they were lost?

There is an actual Flickr Group dedicated to images of purse contents and it’s not pretty! Purses get bigger and bigger and we always fill them to the brim. The size of your purse seems to determine the amount of stuff you feel compelled to carry around.  For me, it’s not even something I do on purpose. I could carry a larger purse with just a few items, and before you know it, the kitchen sink is in my purse. When I am too busy to think straight, my purse is typically a hot mess. It’s a sign!

I know situations differ depending on your career or how many children you have, or if you are traveling, but there are great benefits to carrying less.

  1. A smaller purse with fewer contents will not physically weigh you down.
  2. Carrying less means less to lose by theft, or accidentally leaving your purse behind.
  3. You don’t have to search for your car keys in a small purse.
  4. If your cell phone is ringing, from your purse, you can turn it off or answer the call with less distraction.
  5. You will feel lighter when you not responsible for carrying around everything that you think you might need.

Last week, I challenged myself to only carry 10 items in my purse and I never missed a thing. Here are the 10 items that I carried this week and  I could easily drop items 4,5, 7 & 8. They are a luxury!

  1. Business card holder with business cards
  2. Business card holder with driver’s license, insurance card, debit card, cash
  3. Lipstick
  4. Lipstick Brush
  5. Lip Gloss
  6. Pen
  7. Eye Brightener
  8. Tea Bag
  9. Cell Phone
  10. Car Key

It all comes back to feeling like you have enough. When you start to believe you have enough and that you are enough, you can lighten up and let go of the stuff.

So ladies, what would you carry in your ten item purse? What is the silliest item that you carry now and never use, but keep “just in case”?

Men – you are not off the hook. If you carry a briefcase, backpack or wallet, could you carry less?