There are so many times I didn’t try something because I was afraid.
I was afraid I couldn’t do it, or afraid I’d be bad at it. I was afraid I’d look weird/inexperienced/dumb/and the list goes on. Usually though, I was just afraid it would be ugly. When I say ugly, I mean challenging to figure out, or uncomfortable and imperfect.
This has happened with things like fitness classes, dietary changes, social events, business ideas, relationships and other changes. I think most of us can relate to this and remember a time or two when we decided not to even bother because we didn’t want to deal with the ugly.
This past weekend I was in the gym following an app guided workout and doing exercises I’ve never tried before. I knew what they were supposed to look like, but that’s not what I looked like doing them. My version wasn’t even close. It looked ugly, felt ugly, and was a bit of a struggle. I’m going to do them again in a few days, and a few days after that. I’m going to do them until they don’t feel ugly anymore.
The ugliness used to hold me back, but now I realize that if I just ease in and let it be ugly, it will eventually feel good and add value to my life. The ugly is almost always temporary.
Even nature knows you have to be ugly first. Butterflies don’t start out looking so good. And what about ugly ducklings? Scratch that, I think all ducklings are completely adorable.
A few changes to share with you
Things get ugly in my business too. Especially right now as I’m making some big changes. I recently merged my two main sites, Be More with Less, and Project 333, and their Facebook pages. I created and launched a new, free challenge called The Busy Boycott, and I moved to a new email provider.
These changes have been months in the making and I didn’t want you to know about any of them until they were pretty. Then I thought, if you knew what to expect, you might understand and be patient with the ugly patches instead of surprised by them.
Chances are you won’t experience any ugliness in these changes though, and I’m here to help if you do.
Here’s what to expect …
If you are an Email subscriber:
The email I send moving forward will look better than what you’ve been used to and updates will arrive from courtney@bemorewithless.com. Also, on December 27th, you will be receiving an invitation to join The Busy Boycott Challenge. It’s free, and completely optional. You don’t have to anything else but watch for the email invitation.
If you are are already participating in the challenge, or not interested, simply ignore the invite.
If you read this blog via blog reader or connect through social media:
If you subscribe via Feedly, Bloglovin, or another feed reader, or if you are catching this post from social media, and you want to continue on the journey, and check out The 21-Day Busy Boycott Challenge, please sign up here.
If you are looking for minimalist fashion challenge Project 333 articles and information:
All Project 333 archives are right here, and anything you want to know about Project 333 is right here. I’ll still be writing about capsule wardrobes and simple closets along with simplicity for health, money, work, life, and love.
Course update:
How to Create a Microbusiness that Matters, a microcourse I offer now includes a bonus module on blogging.
New Challenge:
The Busy Boycott, a 21-day challenge to help you trade your busy life for a full one is now available for all email subscribers. If you are already subscribed and reading this message via email, I’ll be sending you an invite. If not, please sign up here.
Why all the changes?
Simplicity is the way back to love.
Be More with Less and Project 333 are back together with one website, one Facebook Page, and one mission … Let’s find our way back to what really matters by getting rid of everything that doesn’t.
These changes are going to make things simpler for all of us; simpler for me to get articles to you, simpler for you to enjoy them, and simpler for us to connect and inspire each other.
If we are willing to let it be ugly.
I probably would have made these changes sooner if I was willing to let them be ugly.
What do you want to experience, or change, or try, but hesitate because you are afraid? Do you want to …
- write a book?
- start an Instagram account and share your photography?
- quit sugar?
- tell someone you love them?
- take a yoga class?
- learn to draw?
- start a blog?
- run a marathon?
If we are willing to let it be ugly, we can be more supportive and encouraging when people we love are trying something new, and open our hearts to new adventures and beginnings.
If we are willing to let it be ugly, we reject perfection and give ourselves the time and space we need to bloom.
Shall we bloom?
Thanks a lot for this posts. A lot of information about your new path.
Especially thank you for the parts about the Ugliness.
I’m 42 years old and tonight I’ll take my first horse riding class. I know for sure that in will be very ugly:-) I want to do this anyway, as my dream is to go horse riding with my 9 year old daughter in the woods or at the beach.
For tonight I’m a little nervous 😉
Andrea, I have a feeling it will be more amazing than ugly and just imagine how it will make your daughter feel. xoxo
Well wishes on combining/simplifying your sites etc.
After reading your book 2 yrs ago & reading most of your posts, I am now subscribing. I believe in your message and you are a woman of integrity.
I have a essential tremor which makes my drawings/handwriting a shaky mystery to me and anyone who tries to read. I am no longer going to let that keep me from taking a drawing class- part of the journey will be working over/around/with the shaky in addition to just learning the basic skills. My drawing expressions will make me happy in the effort (and maybe, occasionally, the results) . Thanks for the motivation.
That is awesome Gail and thank you for your kind words. I highly recommend reading “Drawing on the right side of the brain” if you haven’t already. Good luck!
Gail, have you ever seen R.R. Tolkien’s “Letters from Father Christmas”?
I think that’s what it is called, anyway. Father Christmas would write letters to Tolkien’s children every year, and since he’s always cold, his handwriting is very shaky. It’s one of the neatest books I’ve ever seen!
How very timely! I’ve been using the blogging microcourse and I have been struggling with the ugliness of my attempts. But I AM a beginner and all the struggle will be worth it in the long run. Thank you for the gentle reminder and your willingness to show your own “ugliness”. That is where true beauty lies.
Blogging is a great example, especially getting things set up. So ugly … but as soon as you connect with one like minded person, things get pretty fast. Go bloom!
These were exactly the words I need to hear today! Thank you! I’m going to spend the rest of the day getting ugly!
Thanks as always for your words – which are beautiful despite being about “ugly.” 🙂
Fear of not being perfect or ugly has kept me from so many journeys throughout my life. I had to really ignore those feelings when I started a blog a couple of months ago. And yes, there have been ugly moments and yes, I’ve got much to learn, but I’m so thankful I didn’t let the fear keep me from doing this.
Good luck with all of your changes. I haven’t seen anything ugly at all. It all looks simply lovely!
Thank you for sharing this! After reading other’s blog posts, I feel so inexperienced, it keeps me from posting on my own blog. I also see blogs that started around the time mine did and they are very successful, which leads to self doubts. Thus, I go between taking a lot of time to write a good post, and therefore not posting often, versus just writing and putting it out there. I’m hoping I find my rhythm soon!
This hit so close to home! Ever since I got married, whenever I’ve wanted to make a life change (how I eat, working out, working on my spiritual life, etc.), I always find myself wishing I could ‘disappear’ by myself and come back 6 months later completely transformed. Reading this helped me realized that I’m scared to death that someone (my husband) will “see the ugly” in between. I want a miracle talk-show-makeover transformation moment, but that’s not how transformation works in the real world. Part of truly being in relationship is being ugly, and being there through someone else’s ugly. Thank you.
Love this! I struggle with writing and a huge part of that is leaving something out or not thoroughly covering the topic.
What’s hilarious is putting my concern into the comments now solidies why I need to dump this fear and just finish (too half drafts).
Best wishes on your changes!
“Let it be ugly.” — the best words ever uttered. I already feel 50 lbs lighter now. Thank you.
Great post! The only thing I’m truly afraid of in life, is letting fear stop me from doing something that I want. Every time something scares me, I take a deep breath and then force myself to jump in. It gets easier each time.
I’m 53 – have been told all my life I was clumsy, with no rhythm. Four months ago I started ceroc dancing (modern jazz partner) and it has opened up a whole new world for me. I feel so good in my soul participating and although my moves are ‘ugly’ compared to the other younger, more supple dancers around me I no longer mind. It is fun, good exercise, I ‘feel alive’ and with time, a lot of mistakes and practise I’ll improve.
I like this idea, let it be ugly. I guess more than anything for me it’s just “Let It Be”. It doesn’t matter what it looks like, or your opinion of how awkward you look. Because that’s all it is, an opinion, from you, based on you. It’s a totally pointless spiral into non-action. I felt the same at Yoga the other week. Boy did I look ridiculous trying to do a handstand. Like it was actually laughable. But you know what, when you reach the brink of being a total flop at something. Really look at how if feels, what emotion is bubbling within you, and push it to the limit. REALLY feel so ridiculous and completely own that you are, but that it doesn’t matter and suddenly the whole construct in your head falls away and you are free to carry on without those shackles around you mind and heart and laugh at the whole thing :). I didn’t do the handstand. I DID however do tiny jumps about 1/2 foot in the air for about 15 minutes and then sat down. I looked ridiculous. But like a child you just do it for the sheer fun of trying, and no acknowledgement of anyone’s opinions around you or any ultimate accomplishment in mind. It was alright!