Weekend Wisdom: “Fight for the things you care about, but do it in a way that will lead others to join you.” – Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg
We have to stop comparing our pain.
I was upset last week. We had a destructive hurricane force winds. Homes and buildings were damaged, more than 1000 trees were ripped from the ground including many from my favorite park and neighborhoods and someone died. We lost power along with hundreds of thousands of others, some who are still without. The winds shook my apartment building and reminded me of the earthquake we had back in March.
I began to question my pain when I spoke with friends in California and Oregon dealing with red, smoke filled skies and wildfires. How could I feel so bad when so many people were dealing with something so much worse? Trying to compare my pain made me feel worse.
Brené Brown says that this stems from the myth that empathy is finite and if we give it to ourselves, we won’t have enough for others.
We are all going through a lot, some less and some more but comparative suffering only hurts us more. As Brené says in this episode of her podcast, “There’s enough love and empathy to go around, putting ourselves down because we’re struggling, but have it so much better than others right now, can kill our empathy for others. What’s helpful is perspective. Complaining is okay, letting ourselves feel these hard emotions is important and mandatory to be empathic people, but we can also piss and moan with a little perspective. Hurt is hurt, y’all. And every time we honor our own struggle and the struggles of others by responding with empathy, the healing that results affects all of us.”
With comparative suffering, it’s hard to feel joy because others are suffering and it’s hard to feel pain because others are suffering more.
I’m going to drop the comparing. My feelings are valid. So are yours. Feel your pain and most definitely, feel your joy.
The only way to care for each other is to care for ourselves.
Ok … onto the favorites:
My friends bought a house and I can’t wait to write and rest there.
I’m grateful I got to participate in this gratitude series.
20 items to remove from your kitchen in 20 minutes.
I’m reading this.
This time last year, I wrote about why I stopped drinking alcohol.
I love this story about dressing with less.
We can all learn from this glossary of happiness.
Love this song.
I enjoyed this mostly laying down yoga practice.
This is how I preserved some of my most precious memories.
Monday is the Season Two launch of the Soul & Wit Podcast. Subscribe here!
Want to talk about race? Start here.
And my Instagram fav of the week is from @morganharpernichols for this beautiful reminder.
I hope you enjoy this edition of Weekend Favorites and have a beautiful, safe, healthy, loving weekend.
P.S. For daily, bite-sized simplicity inspiration, join me on Instagram.