With Christmas around the corner and another year coming to an end, this is when we try to cram it all in. Last minute shopping, party planning, resolution making, work wrap up and manic trips to the post office become all consuming.
Instead, I’d like to suggest that we can stop now. Christmas will come even if we don’t buy one more thing, bake one more cookie or hang one more strand of lights. We will all ring in the new year even if packages go out late, or we don’t plan the perfect midnight toast.
Instead of rushing, cramming, and getting it all done, you can stop now.
Stop and …
- meet a friend for coffee
- listen to a beautiful Winter Song
- walk in the snow
- help a neighbor
- love more deeply
- watch your favorite holiday movie (my fav is The Holiday
)
- walk your neighborhood or go downtown to see twinkle lights
Give yourself permission to slow down and enjoy the last few days of the year. Think about the things that made you happy and sad, and the things that made you laugh really hard this year. Think about the people that left your life, and the new people that joined your journey. Slow down and be grateful for what’s happening in your life right at this very moment and for the opportunities a new year will offer.
Maybe the things you can’t stop have nothing to do with the holidays. Things like feeling guilt over things left undone in or planning for for the future. You can stop now. Choose joy over guilt. Those undone things are in the past. Your time is right now. You have a whole new year in front of you to explore and plan or navigate with no goals at all. It’s a miracle that you get to make all of these choices. Celebrate the little steps and be grateful instead of sorry for things that have passed by or anxious for things that haven’t happened yet.
If your end of the year to do list is overwhelming, right now is the time to cut it down or get rid of it completely. Create a little time and space to soak in holiday joy, revel in miracles and feel grateful that you have the opportunity to choose to stop now.
Wishing you a slow, merry, happy end to one year and the beginning of another.
I’m with you, Courtney! “The year is going–let him go,” as Tennyson said. Happy, Serene Christmas and best wishes for everything you do–and don’t–in the year ahead 🙂
Right back atcha Meg. xoxo.
We have kind of been forced into an incredibly slow week because of sickness and it’s been really, really nice. Song for a Winter’s Night is one of my very very favorite songs:)
Lillian, Feel better. I have a little cold right now and I think it was my body deciding to slow down without my permission. I’ve honored that message. Happy Holidays.
I will be the first to admit for so many years I have rushed, rushed, rushed to have everything perfect for all holidays. I decided to do christmas differently this year…by slowing down and actually enjoying more! I have had way too much stress on me the past year and 2012 will be done at a slower pace and less stressful!
Hi Courtney,
Thank you for the lovely post. It can be so hard to give ourselves permission to just let go and say, enough. I think this is especially true for women. This year I managed to simplify my shopping by only going to a few favorite stores and ordering a few things online. I especially enjoyed going to Ten Thousand Villages (a Canadian story run by the Mennonites that benefits NGOs in the developing world).
About the baking. I can’t stop with that because I haven’t actually started yet. Sigh.
Have a beautiful, simple holiday.
Angela W.
I totally agree. I’ve been much less stressed about the holidays this year and I think it’s because I finally seem to have managed to let go. I let go of the idea that I need to bake more than two kinds of cookies to take to relatives house. I let go of baking another batch of cookies because time was tight, we’ll make do with what we have. I let go of the idea that I need to find the perfect gift for each person on my list. If I can’t think of anything, and they can’t think of anything, they get cash or a gift card. My boyfriend and I let go of the need to exchange gifts; there is nothing we need or want.
It all adds up to feeling much more peaceful.
Thank you for an inspiring and comforting post.
My fave is The Holiday too. Very calming… how I’d love to live in Rose’s Cottage!
me too Jo!
Brilliant! Thank you. A-M xx
Thank you for this! I think this is my first of slowing down too. The Hubs and I spent all of 10 minutes deciding on how/what we are going to gift people. And it was the most stress-relieving thing to not have to shop or go anywhere–just have to make the certificates, and we’re done! I’ve found that I’ve enjoyed our families so much more without the stress. Slow is truly a blessing!
I also wanted to thank you for the finding joy mini-mission–it’s really forced me to sit down and decide what it is that I truly enjoy and focus on those things. 🙂
Amazing how much it can help just to hear the phrase “it’s okay to stop.”
Joanna, That makes me think about all of the other things we don’t give ourselves permission to do.
Over the years I’ve made the choice to not exchange gifts with members of my birth family (mom, dad, brother). When I brought up the idea, each of them was relieved to not have to stress about and ship one more gift. We treasure our phone calls and time together throughout the year.
Now we’re working on de-emphasising this holiday with my husband’s family. It’s a little harder with all the little kids but we’re making headway. Everyone is generally understanding of our values and things are transitioning more smoothly than my husband imagined.
It’s amazing how easy it is to change traditions and expectations that initially seemed to be set in stone. It just takes one person to start questioning them for others to realize that there might be a different way that works a little better.
Thank you for opening the door for others and letting everyone know that it’s OK to slow down and do things in a way that works for each of us.
Love your website Courtney, it has helped me so much in many aspect of my life. Since following this pathway i have been promoted at work ,received a big payrise and many other good things have happened. Cutting down on the clutter which is so prevalent in modern society with the massive focus on consumerism has enabled me to focus on a plan of self improvement, both physically and mentally. Also the added bonus of the financial gains has enabled me to contribute to many charities, whcih is something i havent been able to do before (to be honest i havent got anything i really want to spend the money on !) Still have a long way to go (still have challenges to meet with my obsessive–compulsive traits) but thanks again :)…though i dont think i shall ever have just 100 items 😉
Tony, So happy that you are making progress. We all have a long way to go thank goodness. This isn’t about reaching an end point or 100 items. It’s about living the best life possible. xoxo
I cannot even begin to convey how deeply your post has touched my heart this morning as I read it. Thank you for your beautiful words.
Happy to help Lori.
Wonderful reminder, Courtney. Thank you– I’m going to slow down right NOW. 🙂
Courtney, I love this! I wrote a similar post about making meaningful choices about holidays instead of cramming in the busyness. I crossed off at least 8 tasks I usually do, so I can focus on slowing down and enjoying the meaning instead of the doing.
Last night, I watched Polar Express with my kids, and it left warm fuzzies in all of us! Merry Christmas!
Happy Holidays, Courtney! Thank you for a great year of insipiring, moving and life changing posts!
My fav holiay movie are: “Love Actually”, “Serendipity”, “The Holiday”, “The Family Stone”. can’t wait to relax and watch movies all day long with no goals but to enjoy the company of loved ones!
Paula, You and I might need to have a movie day. I could watch all of those movies, over and over again!
Thank you for this reminder. We too are just stopping and taking it all in this year. Not the usual flurry of homemade gifts and the madness. Just welcoming winter with some peace. It’s much better this way. Thank you for your words.
We are having such a wonderful joyful time this year. With a lot less and much more time! Mahalo for being part of my year and part of my intention and motion forward!
Aloha wags!
Thank you, like someone else said, I needed to hear that it was okay to stop. This year I have stopped or slowed down everything, but the overwhelming guilt is now on my shoulders. Only a few batches of cookies were made, a small real tree was bought, some Christmas music fills the air. I did not get anyone gifts, but the kids, and cards for only a few. Our big gift to our girls is going to the movies on Christmas Day as a family. Now the guilt of not much under the tree is killing me.
I am so proud of you! Ask the kids what they got for Christmas last year. If they even remember, it will take them a while. Going to the movies as a family is a GREAT gift! Tell yourself: Guilt is useless and changes nothing. Plus, you have nothing to feel guilty about! Remind yourself there are other wonderful gifts aside from the ones that we buy with money. Time spent with our family is a wonderful, precious and priceless gift.
Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, tell your self you have done a great thing by downsizing Christmas and making it what it shoud be: a time to spend with your family.
thanks!
If I stop now, I have to listen to my thoughts. If I stop now, I have to fully realize what is and has happened. If I stop now, I have to think about things I don’t want to think about.
I know I have to stop at some point and listen to my thoughts and accept what I do not want to accept. I have to stop and think gentle thoughts, kind, ‘be my own best friend’ thoughts. I know you are right, I must stop now.
Thanks for this very timely reminder that time passes by and events unfold whether we rushto meet them, or patiently accept them.
Thank you for your wonderful wisdom and great ideas.
Lois, if you stop now and listen to your thoughts and face the things you don’t want to deal with, you can begin to start again. Take the time to stop. You deserve a chance to start without the guilt and pressure you’ve put on yourself.
Karen Carpenter’s “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas” is great. It’s wistful and sweet at the same time. i realize Christmas is over now, but we can still listen to it.
Thank you.
Learning to Stop is an Essential Skill