39 Responses to “On All the Sentimental Stuff and Clutter”

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  1. Absolutely beautiful and just what I needed today, Courtney. We were just having tea, and I told CJ, We are going to attack this bit by bit but regularly. He wholeheartedly agreed, but I know those sentimental gifts and things will be the hardest. Those are what the closets have not been rid of yet. The other crapola I bought through the years? Not so much! Much of that is already donated, recycled, or thrown away. Thank you for this!

    • Courtney Carver

      It certainly makes the superficial stuff really easy to part with!

    • There’s no doubt that this one from Courtney rocked, Tammy. I guess I’m just an (un)sentimental fool because I don’t need Courtney’s help with this slice of my life (just the other 99.9%). But you can bet I’ll be passing along a link to this when people ask me how to detach themselves from the emotional bonds to things they want to part with.

  2. This is great! I recently did a similar purge, recycling all of those cheesy award certificates for passing my high school AP tests, college acceptance letters etc. It was liberating and I cleared out two boxes of excess paper!

  3. Pamela

    Thank you for this! Your timing is perfect. I am in the process of purging my studio space. Artfacts from my life that once provided inspiration now cloud it. This has been helpful and kind! Thanks!

    • Courtney Carver

      Pamela, It’s great that you recognize how those things affect you and your work differently now. Time to say goodbye!

  4. tash

    This is still something I don’t understand about minimalism – I know the purging of sentimental items is supposed to be about the memories you already have and making room for the people you have in your life now and there’s no point keeping boxes of useless stuff…

    But surely some things jog your memories? I have a box of things that I look through every now and again and it brings things to mind things that otherwise I wouldn’t even think to recall. Memories don’t last forever in your mind and it feels good to remember nice times- so that’s my answer to the “how is this helping me?” question. I suppose holding onto old memories too tightly is just as bad as holding on to the physical things perhaps?

    • Courtney Carver

      Hi Tash,

      Yes, that sentimental stuff does jog memories and I’m not suggesting that letting go of them is right for everyone. It took me some time to get here and there are still a few things I’ll either photograph or hold on to. It really is a different journey for everyone.

  5. For our family, we decided it was best to have one trunk to store our physical memories. It was the only thing we kept when we sold our house to travel for a year. It helped us to limit the space instead of get rid of everything.

  6. GG

    I learned the quick & diry way of decluttering when I left an abusive marriage under cover of darkness with a baby & a basket of clothes. Later he threatened to destroy everything if I didn’t come back. I realized no THING was worth my life and there wasn’t anything I left behind that I couldn’t have again if I really wanted it. That was 26 years ago and I’ve not had trouble purging since.

  7. A very timely post for me… thank you… xv

  8. Just wanted you to know how much I enjoy your blog and all the wisdom you’ve gleaned, and that you share with us all.

    We are blessed to have the information.

    Debi

  9. Kathy

    But… as a genealogist, I relish all the small things my ancestors left behind, the bits of jewelry, the newspaper clippings, small drawings, old stamps, school papers and pencils, old photos, membership cards, invoice for the very first car in the family, journals, things that are antiques now… that tell me about my ancestors, their hopes and prayers, their character, how life was back then.

    My father gave us his World War II records. The women in my great-grandfather’s life kept his certificate of citizenship. My great-great grandfather left a diary of his traveling. The women left their recipes and love letters, poems, and sentimental things.

    So I would suggest on some things, clip a note to personal papers from childhood and your children’s things too, telling their meaning and your purpose for keeping them. Now, when you remember clearly, for those who come after. Not everyone in the family will care, but some family genealogist will one day, and you will come alive to them. They will know who they came from.

    • Heather

      If it’s something you truly cherish, then go ahead and keep it. I had a lot of non heirloom but old stuff, so no real attachment. The 2 blankets from my Nanna were so ruined with smoke, I had to toss them for my families health. Perhaps it’s something you can pass along in your will. I had an album book for my son. I want him to have some sense of history and family, I just keep it really organized and up to date.

  10. Thank you so much for helping me decide what to do with all of my old yearbooks. This post helped me a lot. Granted High School was both fun and well you get the idea and I will always be grateful for the friends I made but, it is time to move on and let the good and bad memories of that time go.

    I also love the suggestion of making a digital memory of my daughters papers and what I choose to save I can later let her decide what she wants to do with it.

  11. Great clarification on the better question to ask: “how is keeping this thing helping?” Thanks, Courtney.

  12. venu

    In the process of moving out of my apartment and packing/letting go of 8 years’ worth of stuff. LOVED your article- it reminded me to put things in perspective, thank you!

  13. Beth

    I was totally thinking about your blog this past week. I’ve been working on simplifying my life. One big thing that I want to get rid of fast is debt. So we’ve stopped spending more than we need to so we can put that money towards the debt, and done other things as well… Last week I was thinking that we should go down to one car. It would be less work, less insurance and we really can get by with one car. Then I thought, who would buy our old car, because of course I’d get rid of that one! :) I don’t even know if we could give it to someone. It is really reliable, just really old and looks it. Well, we were just in an accident in our newer car…and it looks like we will be down to one car right now :) but of course we’ll be keeping the older car that is not totaled. I asked my husband if we could just wait and not buy a replacement vehicle right now… to live simpler with just the working beat up old car. :) And now we’re done with our car payment too which helps on us paying off the debt sooner. The best part is that we were all safe!

  14. A very thoughtful piece, full of great examples. You seemed to have answered all possible ‘but what about…’, doing so from a place of love and care. Thanks for a beautiful piece of writing.

    p.s. I’m excited about this ‘news’ of yours. I await patiently to hear what it is.

  15. This post is very helpful. Sometimes I’ll get really into declutter, then come upon a few objects that I just can’t part with yet have no use for. Then I feel defeated, and just leave the mess there without finishing the whole declutter project. I will try again after reading this, and using your tips, hopefully I can let go of the past, and live in the present. :-)

  16. This post is spot on for me at the moment – I’m not only having to sort my own clutter, but also clearing my mother’s house prior to selling. I just hope I can put at least some of these suggestions into practice.
    Thank you

  17. I figured wedding day stuff may be the toughest, but taking photos makes it easy. Thanks Courtney! Really enjoyed your post;)

  18. I have been slowly decluttering for a while now, but I am about to move into a much smaller space so am having to amp it up. This post was very inspirational for me, so thank you.

  19. Heather

    As someone who lost 3 bins of sentimental items, it can be hard but it is doable. With a small child, I pic out only the most wonderful pieces he brings home from school and I have a wall in my office that I add too. I just buy inexpensive plain black frames from the store and frame them. It makes a great statement wall and I get to enjoy his stuff all the time. The rest go into a bin, but I clean it out monthly. I want him to have some things and he can decide if he wants to keep them. I also do shadow boxes for his first baseball jersey and cleats and I have done one for my military medals. I think it’s better to enjoy things out then stuffed away. As far as things that are not my style or I felt like they were too delicate for me, I sold them at a yardsale or donated them. I didn’t want the stuff in the first place and it was sorta forced on me. After 15 years of dragging it around, including 11 moves, it’s all gone. My son has a few family items and I created a family tree for him, so he has some history. He is being raised without emphasis being placed on material items. I will not force items onto him nor will I leave him a mess when my time comes. I have cleaned out 3 houses of older relatives when they passed on and it was a nightmare. The best things my Nanna did was pass on her “heirlooms” when she turned 50. She started over and downsized. She gave away all the fancy stuff and had just what she needed and no one fought over a thing when she passed and I know she was much happier.

    • Heather

      One more thing, the 3 bins, well they were stored at my parents house. They are heavy smokers and ruined EVERYTHING in those bins. I did all I could to get the smell and yellow out and nothing worked. I was able to make colored copies of paperwork I loved but the rest was awash.

  20. My parents passed away when I was younger and left me quit a few antiques; lots of trinkets and some beautiful vases, etc. I have slowly let most of them go, keeping a dresser and a beautiful 18th century secretary. That’s where it ends!! One vase I felt very guilty about selling, but it went to someone who appreciates it almost as much as I did…

  21. Deb Briggs

    Very nice post.

    My family is in the process of moving to be closer to my aging parents (my mother is in poor health), and my sons and I are staying at my parents’ house while my husband sells our house overseas. So while I have cut away most of our non-essentials (I do have a couple regrets, but that’s another story), I am now buried in my mother’s obsessive clutter. It is really driving me nuts. She has boxes and piles of stuff that really mean nothing to her, and yet she can’t bear to part with them, and in fact can’t bear to have me move them, even to give more space to walk.

    I really fear that these boxes of junk, clutter, and old newspapers are going to be her legacy. This is what we will have to deal with when she passes away, and I believe that in our remembrance of her, the sickness that causes her to cling to all this stuff will overshadow the other, good things, that my mom has been. My mom’s death will recall all the guilt and effort of plowing through her stuff and throwing it all out.

  22. wonderful post! It made my eyes watery, but I felt very happy & uplifted all at the same time (: Letting go of certain things is a struggle of mine & you put into words exactly what I needed to read!

    “The past is history, the future a mystery – all we really have is right now”

  23. Tammy

    I love the idea of giving people permission to pass on a handmade gift. As a quilter, crafter, artist, I want folks to love the gift, but I also don’t want them to feel burdened if it is not to their liking/taste (because I know I struggle with hurting someones feelings myself!). So yes! Giving permission to pass it on is a lovely idea and one that I hope spreads!

    Now, on to tackling a house FULL of sentimental clutter…I believe I am finding a lost part of myself in the midst of it all : )

  24. I started the process of voluntary simplicity 4 1/2+ years ago & it’s still coming in waves. It’s so amazing what I find myself letting go of, items that I never would have thought of parting with (not even if my life depended on it!) at the beginning of this process. Granted, the end of a live-in relationship sent the process into hyper-drive for quite awhile. I have my sentimental clutter down to 5 pieces of heirloom jewelry from mom & grandparents & a music box my mom bought when she lived in Germany.

    It’s funny because just when I think I’m done, that there is nothing else left that I am OK parting with, I turn around & have filled up yet another bag to drop off at the thrift store.

  25. Courtney, this was a very timely post for me because I just wrote a post of my own about having a yard sale and needing to part with things. Taking a picture was one of my tips as well. We attach so much emotional baggage to “things”, and as I wrote in the post, quoting Peter Walsh, “The Thing is NOT the Person.”

  26. Patricia

    Hi Courtney, I just stumbled upon yr blog and am finding time to read all your posts. Yes, I kept my wedding stuff for past 27 years and finally got rid of them with just one thought in mind – my time with hubby now matters more than the silly dried flowers I kept, the wristband I wore and etc…. I feel so much lighter now. Am in the midst of purging more, more, more….lol

  27. Rene

    Well put…I emigrated once, and left all behind exept b/w photos and music. Yes we do need memory joggers but as you pointed out so well, tell the stories, but don’t leave the clutter..
    I will take a leaf out of your book, thanks for the clarity of thought and the stir of conversation it leaves in it’s wake.

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