While I prefer simple, streamlined days and weeks of smooth sailing, I know I’d never fully appreciate how beautiful they are if life wasn’t messy sometimes. In fact, the messiest times in my life have inspired the most profound change.
Messy is painful
In the middle of a mess, whether a health crisis, money problem, or crumbling relationship, it’s hard to see the light. It’s hard to feel light. What’s the solution? When will it end? What’s on the other side? And sometimes, until we have clarity, we get caught up in the drama, the pain, and the guilt that comes as a result of the mess.
Messy is valuable
Getting through a mess provides confidence. You learn that you are strong and resilient, and that this too shall pass. It removes the mystery, and some of the drama from the next mess. When you notice the value, engage in the lessons, and lean into change, the messes become further and further apart.
Messy is a blessing
Sometimes it takes a big, heart wrenching mess to wake us up, to inspire change, and to finally release us from the guilt of getting there in the first place. When our imperfections are splattered all over the floor, it becomes clear that we had to go through it, to get to the lessons, and then the enormous blessings.
We can look back at past relationships with people, money, stuff, and time with guilt, blame and regret, but how can we love ourselves for who we are, when we hate ourselves for what we did? And if we don’t love who we are, how does that help us love the amazing people in our lives now? How does that help us treat the precious time we have today with more purpose and intention?
If you created a mess of your health because of how you treated your body, or a mess of your finances because of the non-stop spending, or a mess of your love story because you treated someone poorly, see it. Really see it.
Before we can fix a problem we have to see the problem. Once we see it, we have a choice. We can become embroiled in guilt and perpetuate the mess and the pain, or we can say it is what it is and now I am going to change everything. That doesn’t mean we fix the past, but we find hope and healing today and tomorrow through change and growth.
If the guilt and regret of past messes is standing between you and change, let go. Do what ever it takes to let it go. Release the pain by writing it all down on paper, by apologizing to the people you hurt, or by sending those apologies to the heavens, or the universe, or the sea, and start over knowing that you, and the people around you deserve better.
Replace your guilt with gratitude for every part of your messy life. You’ve paid enough.
Lessons and blessings don’t come from guilt and regret, they come from the messes, the struggles, and the light.