Be More with Less

simplicity is love

Let Go of Sentimental Items with a Victory Lap

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Heartfelt ways to let go of sentimental items

If you are struggling to let go of sentimental items, you are not alone. I resisted that category of clutter for years, because as a sentimental person, everything felt sentimental. It all had meaning to me.

In addition to everything my parents saved for me, I started storing my memories in the third or fourth grade. I kept going for decades. Diaries, notes passed in school, ticket stubs, mix tapes, love letters, t-shirts, photos, and all of the other bits and pieces of my life were stored in memory boxes and stuffed under the bed, or in the garage, or another available storage space. When my daughter came along, I started collecting for both of us.

When I look back, I wonder why I felt compelled to save so much. Was I afraid that I had to protect and preserve my past because I wouldn’t experience more beautiful memories in the future? I did eventually let go, but it didn’t happen overnight, and it didn’t happen with great ease. I had to find heartfelt ways to let go of sentimental items.

Things still feel sentimental to me, but now it’s mostly moments, glances, rising new moons over mountains, ocean sunsets, and precious words. Letting go of the sentimental items, my hold on the past, and fear of the future allowed me to find magic in the present.

Letting go gave me room to adore and appreciate what’s right in front of me.

Let Go of Sentimental Items with a Victory Lap

1. Strengthen your ability to let go.
Don’t start with the sentimental items. It took years, before I was ready. First I had to build strength with letting go of the easier stuff like clothing, kitchen duplicates, sports or hobby related items that I didn’t use anymore, and furniture.

After years of building those muscles, I turned to items I felt more attached to like books and sentimental items. I had more strength to let go because of the benefits I had already experienced.

2. Tell the story of your stuff.
Take pictures of your sentimental items or write about the reason you saved them. If you saved your daughter’s first bathing suit, write the story about when she first dipped her toes in salt water. Write about the time your grandmother taught you how to cook one of her favorite recipes from the cookbook you held on to. Tell your friends about why you saved a letter of recommendation from your favorite teacher.

As you share the stories, you’ll notice that the item isn’t what your heart is holding on to. Your heart doesn’t want to hold on to stuff. All it wants is love.

3. Take a victory lap.
My friend Sarah has a beautiful strategy for letting go of meaningful items. She says …

“Like everyone else in the world, there are many, many things in my home that I’m struggling to part with because they’re steeped in sentimental value. My grandmother’s vintage dresses, my mom’s fondue pot, the scarf I bought while teaching English in Brazil – all these things are filled in meaning, but that’s about it. My grandma’s dresses are too cinched and fitted for my 2015 style sensibilities, the fondue pot is too thin to be of much use, and that scarf doesn’t match anything.

So what to do?

After much thought, I created a process I call the ‘victory lap.’ I give each item one last intentional, loving use. I wear my grandmother’s dress to Thanksgiving dinner and my aunts ooh and ahh over it. I ask my mom for her favorite cheese fondue recipe and then I invite friends over for a party in honor of melted cheese. I take my scarf on a tour of the art museum and out into the crisp fall air.

Then I mentally thank that item for the role it played in my life, remind myself that an object is not a relationship and tuck it lovingly into the ever-present Goodwill donation bag in my front closet. It’s a bit woo-woo, but I find it’s a sweet way to honor the people who gave me these things while also honoring my own desire for a simpler, more pared-down life.”

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However you choose to let go, remember that less is not nothing. Display your sentimental items. Keep a few things for your children. Repurpose charms into new jewelry, old watch parts into art, or faded love letters into a beautiful collage.

Let go of sentimental items when you are ready, and make room for new memories and more love in a way that lifts your heart.

 

Comments

  1. This is a great post and I’m sure lots of people will benefit from reading it. So often we feel guilted (by ourselves or others) into keeping things we don’t use purely because they belonged to someone special or hold some special memory. I’ve always maintained that memories reside inside of us, not in some keepsake that could get stolen, broken, lost etc.

    We can keep those memories alive with easy rituals too. My mom loved cake, so whenever I walk past a bakery I stop a moment and try to imagine what she’d have chosen from the display case. It’s lots of fun and no matter how often I do it, it never fails to bring a smile to my face. 🙂

    • This is a great way to keep the memories alive. I always think of my dad when I turn off the car radio because of a silly ruse he used to get his teenagers to remember to turn off the radio. But I never thought of expanding this to other memories such as cake. My mom loved to bake and made the best cookies.

  2. Courtney, you caught me going through sentimental papers today as you were posting this. I have the same problem. I have so much left to go through, and it is so difficult. As I sort through the papers, the memories come flooding back.

    I have two barriers to decluttering this area. My memory is not great; it never has been. My son and his family live so far away, and I don’t get to see them much. (same with friends) 🙁 I guess that’s why I cling onto sentimental paper so much.

  3. I can really relate to this because I have a very hard time letting go of sentimental items that have no practical use. I’ve started with the practical items first by parting with clothing that I never wore but kept “just in case”. At some point I’d like to move onto the sentimental items as well. I think taking photos (and even videos) and writing a story about these things is an excellent way to help with that.

  4. I am a huge fan of the storytelling idea. It somehow reminds me of the saying that a person never truly dies until s/he is forgotten. Same (though to a less important degree) goes for our things! If we can cherish those memories in meaningful ways, then we don’t have to hold onto the item itself.

  5. oh how heartening it is to read that this is a slow process – a journey to a simpler life not a mad rush done all at once. I have left teaching in the classroom and have had 3 goes at refining my stored resources. Each time I am able to let more go and to feel good about moving on. Letting go things I have spent money time and energy on is a challenge but one I am getting better at each day. Thanks for your generous sharing of your journey Courtney

  6. I love the idea of a victory lap! I have a problem letting go of sentimental items because they truly spark memories that would otherwise stay buried. I’m afraid I’d forget everything without them, so I take photos, which helps, but… I also have a very difficult time letting go of anything given to me by my older sister, who passed away three years ago. She gave me loads of things, from purses to clocks to silverware. And it breaks my heart to let go of any of it, even if I don’t use/wear it. But I don’t want my home to be filled with stagnant memories and unused things. Still working on this one…

  7. Thank you for sharing, Courtney. I am curious, how do you all feel about your journals? I know you have written several times about keeping a journal and in here, too, about writing (or telling) stories. This is half of the sentimental stuff I am holding on to! I pause whenever I think about letting some of them go – it is fear (I think) that stops me. Both of my grandmothers suffered Alzheimer’s and dementia. I am afraid that later I won’t be able to tell the stories I would like to share. So the journals are a touchstone for me, but I can’t help but feel a little uneasy about the why I am keeping them whenever I see them.

    • I keep them for a while, extract any ideas I want to use and then shred or burn them.

  8. Excellent ideas – when working with my clients, I find it helps to remind them that other people can use donated items. It doesn’t really honor an item to have it tucked away in storage. Knowing that the skirt that doesn’t fit you will benefit someone else makes it easier to release the item.

    • Salvation Army, local churches, etc. are better than making donations to Goodwill. You are making the CEO an even richer man.

  9. Hey Courtney,

    This is such an important topic! I love your ways to let go. I’ve found that the main thing you have to do to become more of a minimalist is to take the emotional attachment away from stuff. Our memories and emotions should not be tied to a thing. The memories themselves are what’s important. I’ve struggled with this, but the more stuff I let go, the easier it becomes. Then I can live with the freedom of owning less stuff.

    Cheers,
    Kalen

  10. many great and inspirational stories and ideas.
    working through this process myself.
    this all helpful.

  11. Hi Courtney
    Thank you for this post. I found it helpful to read this and other people’s comments as I too find those sentimental things most difficult to clear out. I have been working my way through old birthday cards, scanning and photographing them and that has helped.
    I think it is true that sending items on to new homes can give us pleasure. When my father-in-law died a couple of years ago we inherited enough ‘stuff’ to fill numerous houses and certainly more than we could cope with in one small flat. In addition, much of it wasn’t to our taste. We sold most of it on Ebay and many of the larger items were collected in person and so we met the people who were so happy to have something new that they liked and we enjoyed hearing their stories. We met people setting up new businesses and taking dozens of tea sets and paintings off our hands, a Russian woman who had moved to the UK with a new husband whose daughter was still in Russia, a funny and lively woman who took lots of the garden ornaments. Some others who we posted things to took the time to thank us and tell us how the item will be loved in the future. We will remember all these people and the joy they now get from these items; I like to think that these items have now become sentimental items for them. Of course, although we don’t need items to remember my father-in-law, we did keep a couple of items that keep him as part of our lives. I get most pleasure from the small sharp knife I kept and use at work to cut my morning fruit meaning I no longer have to use the blunt knives we have in the cutlery drawer at work!

  12. I found that the best thing I could have keep from my teenage years was my journals. I keep them with the intent of reading them when my children entered their teenage years so I could remember how it was to be at that stage in life. I never did, instead my kids found them and read the the journals themselves! They in turn seen I was a teenager once and went through the same things they did. It helped our relationship.

  13. I moved in with my daughter and son-in-law shortly after my first grandson was born earlier this year to become his full time nanny. I also moved a huge truckload of my lifelong collections of sentimental objects, clothing and pictures – from my parents, myself, and all of my children – right into a huge storage unit. I’ve spent almost every weekend trying to reduce the enormous amount of stuff – useless to everyone else, but in my mind will someday be important to someone! The cost to my sanity, time and bank account have convinced me to wipe out the whole mess, but I have only made a tiny bit of progress over the past several months. I am so happy to read that the process will take time, and it’s so encouraging to know that eventually I will no longer be the sole caretaker of so many mementos of the past.

  14. We sold our house to embark on a year (and now longer!) of caravan living which necessitated letting go of an embarrassing amount of ‘stuff’. We had previously both thought of ourselves as pretty minimalist – that was apparently not true!

    I found the whole process of eBaying, freegling and charity shop donating incredibly liberating. After some fifteen months without many items that I had believed to be sentimental I can say that I haven’t once missed the things themselves or, more importantly for me, I haven’t found myself thinking any less frequently about the people they represented.

    Now, my travelling memories are a series of blog posts and important photographs are in the cloud, although I do still have a small cushion cover my mother made – repurposed as a purse to hold greetings cards. I have learned that memories don’t necessarily fade when they are not anchored to stuff and the freedom and joy of daily new experiences easily outweighs what I have ‘lost’.

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