Have you ever felt like you’ve let life turn you into someone else?
Have you forgotten what your heart wants because of what life demands?
Have you compared and competed yourself into someone you don’t recognize?
Or, are you too busy and overwhelmed to even notice who you’ve become?
Maybe you know exactly who you are, but many of us have experienced a disconnect and are looking for a way back. This isn’t about finding yourself. It’s about remembering who you are.
I am always learning something new about how simplicity works on my heart, changes my relationships and influences my work. At first my journey was focused on tasks like decluttering, paying off debt, and downsizing. The changes started on the outside, but the real work was happening on the inside. With each thing, obligation, or assumption I let go of, I remembered who I was. I saw how far I had strayed, and made it a priority to come back to myself.
Why it’s so important to be more you:
- Living outside of yourself is exhausting. It will break you down.
- You’ll take better care of yourself when you are more you.
- You’ll give to the world in bigger and better ways because you have an authentic place to give from.
- You’ll attract the right people for you. They can’t know you and love you until you do.
- There will be more love.
Be more with less means: Be more you. Give yourself all the space, time and love to remember who you are. Living with less clutter, busyness, and stress will help you make the room to do what you need to do. Simplifying my life gave me the space, time, and love to be more me, and the following practices led me back.
7 Simple Ways to Be More You (and to remember who you are)
1. Write yourself down.
Author, Julia Cameron suggests writing 3 pages every morning in The Artist’s Way, but start with 1 page, or 5 minutes, or whatever is approachable for you. Don’t edit, judge, or share. Instead just write yourself down each day. Write about what’s on your mind, what made you smile or cry, or what you had for breakfast. Write about your crazy dream, pet peeves, or anything you want. It doesn’t matter where the commas go, or if your words seem unreasonable, harsh, silly, or angry. Just keep writing down your heart.
The daily writing helps you notice how you feel, who you are, when you are lost, and when you are found.
2. Spend time with people who lift you up.
Spend time with people who will love you for you. Spend less time with people who won’t. Choosing to spend less time with people who sabotage your happiness doesn’t mean you can’t take time to lift people who can’t lift themselves. Give your change, a smile, a sandwich, or a few volunteer hours to people who don’t know how to surround themselves with people who lift them. You’ll be surprised at how they lift you too.
Love your people so much and don’t forget to let them love you back.
3. Stop proving yourself.
I used to try to prove how good I was at my job by doing more and acting like someone I wasn’t. My work wore me down, I got sick a bunch, and I felt completely depleted at the end of every work day, meeting, or event. I never took time to be alone, to refuel, or to soothe my heart. Instead I kept pushing and growing and doing more. There was always more to be done, more to prove, bigger goals, and higher hoops.
By becoming my work, and acting like an extrovert for a really long time, I lost myself. I forgot who I was and what I needed to thrive. I needed some space and breathing room to remember who I was. I had to say, “enough is enough.” I had to be still and listen. Thanks to simplicity, I tapped into the quiet and came back to love. Simplicity soothed the heart of this introvert.
4. Let go of the excess.
Keep releasing the excess, the extra, and the stuff that doesn’t mean anything to you. Give yourself all the space, time and love you need to remember who you are. For awhile, this might mean saying no more than you say yes. It might mean letting people down, spending more time alone, or admitting weakness and asking for help. Take all the time you need because once you get back to you, you’ll be able to give in ways you never imagined.
5. Put your hands on your heart.
Create a daily heart listening ritual. Start by sitting quietly for a few minutes with your hands on your heart, and your eyes closed. Listen. You may not hear anything at first, but if you keep showing up your heart will reveal answers you’ve been waiting for. Keep a journal nearby so you can write down your heart’s words. Your heart knows who you are — now you just need a little time to know your heart.
6. Be a gentle warrior.
A gentle warrior is loving and kind. A gentle warrior is also fiercely protective when it comes to the nonnegotiables that allow her to live a happy, healthy, meaningful life. You can be both. Creating rules or guidelines for how I live and work helps me thrive. These rules also serve as a cornerstone, so when I feel lost or overwhelmed, I have a solid foundation to come back to.
7. Do what’s best for you.
I find great inspiration and guidance from hearing other people’s stories, talking to friends, and listening to advice, but when I want to know what’s best for me, I put my hands on my heart and turn to the person who knows me best. The more you remember and connect with who you are, the more you will trust yourself to know what’s best for you. Your heart knows.
The more me I am, the easier it is to know what’s right for me, who is right for me, how I can serve the world, and live a life of purpose and passion. When I am the most me I can be, my relationships are stronger, my work is better and I feel more at ease. Forgetting who you are and living outside of yourself, outside of your heart is exhausting. Do whatever it takes to come back and be more you.
I’m committing 50% of all ticket sales from The Tiny Wardrobe Tour events in Louisville and Atlanta to The Hope Effect. Founded by my friend Joshua Becker from Becoming Minimalist, The Hope Effect is changing how the world cares for orphans. With 350 tickets, we have an opportunity to donate $3500 from these 2 tiny tour stops. Join us if you live nearby and please share with your friends in Louisville and Atlanta!