Our daily habits, the things we do over and over again can result in healthier, happier lives or they can cause us stress. Regularly reassess and decide which habits add value to your life and which habits must go.
These 5 daily habits are not the healthy habits you’ve thoughtfully curated like meditation, going for walks or brushing and flossing your teeth. Instead, the habits below may be causing most of your stress. While we can’t control every stressful thing that happens to us, we do have a choice whether to keep or remove these stressful daily habits.
5 Daily Habits That May Be Causing Most of Your Stress
When it comes to removing these habits from your life, or doing them less frequently, you might be thinking, “easier said than done.” I agree, it’s probably not easy. But is it easy to carry the stress you carry? It may not be easy to change but it’s not easy now.
1. Busyness is a stressful daily habit.
You might consider busyness a reaction to everything that has to get done, but I think it’s a choice and a daily habit. It’s true that we go through busier seasons of life, but take it from a busy-addict, you can easily use busyness to ignore your life and your wake-up calls.
If you are lost in deadlines and distractions or a demanding boss and lack of professional boundaries, you may actually be very busy. This is the time to check in and decide if you are thriving in your busyness or hiding in it. As Sara Kuburic says, “Always being busy has become an admirable way for people to avoid themselves.”
How to let go of the painful habit of busyness. Slow down, simplify your to-do list and consider the room you need to rest, reflect and recover from the pace of daily life. Be gentle with yourself as you learn say, “no” and lighten your schedule.
2. Doomscrolling.
According to this health.com article, “Doomscrolling is when a person actively seeks out saddening or negative material to read or scroll through on social media or news media outlets. The idea behind doomscrolling is attempting to get access to all the information you need to keep yourself protected from what’s dangerous around you.” In my experience any amount of scrolling can soon turn too doomscrolling. The irony is, you don’t feel informed or protected at all, just more scared and overwhelmed.
How to let go of the painful habit of doomscrolling. Create boundaries around how you consume the news and other media. Start with time boundaries identifying when you won’t scroll at all, like early morning and late evening. Then give yourself time limits for scrolling. Pay attention to how you are feeling during your scrolling time and create an exit strategy for when things start to fall apart. For instance, keep your favorite book nearby or call a good friend when you feel the doom begin.
3. Pleasing others by disappointing yourself.
This one might be the hardest because by pleasing other people, you may actually believe you are doing the right thing. It’s wonderful to do nice things for other people but when you continually sacrifice your own time and energy, disappointing yourself to please others, it’s time to check in on your motivation. What do you get from the pleasing part? The most painful part of this habit may be the dishonesty of saying one thing and thinking another. Also notice who may be taking advantage of your need to please. This reminds me of the saying, “The only people upset about you setting boundaries are the ones who benefited from you having none.”
How to let go of the painful daily habit of pleasing others by disappointing yourself: First, identify how you feel when you please someone else. How long after you feel good do you feel resentful or exhausted? Are you outwardly joyful about doing something for someone else and upset on the inside? Next, set boundaries to protect your time and energy especially with the people who don’t respect your time and energy. Practice saying no, even when you aren’t busy doing other things. Then, start replacing your people pleasing with a daily simple pleasure. Please yourself to nurture your time and energy so you can be more thoughtful about how and when you give it away.
4. Doing one more thing.
Doing more things doesn’t make you a better person, it makes you a tired person. Still, you keep trying to do one more thing. You may practice this painful habit right before bedtime, delaying sleep as you check one more thing off your to-do list. The problem with this is that there is always one more thing to do.
How to let go of the painful daily habit of doing one more thing: First, create a closing ritual to remind yourself that you are done doing things. For ‘instance’, after dinner, wipe down your counters and brush your teeth as a signal that it’s time to stop doing and enjoy being. Next, as part of your closing shift, write down all of the “one more things” that are on your mind. You can revisit the list tomorrow. Then, choose a bedtime that you will honor. Half the battle of getting a good night of sleep is simply putting yourself in bed.
5. Overexplaining.
How often are you overexplaining yourself? Instead of saying, “No, I can’t make it” when declining an invitation, do you leave it there or go into a detailed explanation about why you can’t make it? Maybe you try to defend a difficult (and personal) choice by overexplaining.
How to let go of the painful daily habit of overexplaining. Practice being brief. Instead of sharing every detail or searching for an appropriate excuse, try some of these responses (without elaborating):
- No, thank you.
- That won’t work for me.
- Not this time.
- Thanks for thinking of me. I’m going to pass.
Simplify your life and feel more relaxed by letting go of these stressful daily habits. At first, letting go and changing your patterns may feel uncomfortable but with practice, you’ll notice you have more time, space, energy and attention for your life. First, notice which of these daily habits are stressful for you. Next, shift your behavior. Then, celebrate your amazing progress.
