Mark and I celebrated our 12th wedding anniversary this weekend doing a whole bunch of nothing. We napped, watched the waves roll in, enjoyed long walks, took pictures of sea lions, read and napped some more. We didn’t do anything that anyone would consider productive, yet all of that nothing was life-giving.
Our long stretch of doing nothing reminded me of the importance of making room for little pockets of nothing every day. If we don’t take time to do nothing, we compromise everything.
3 compelling reasons to schedule more nothing
1. Emergencies and surprises are out of your control.
Test fate and plan your day, hour by hour. Don’t leave any room in between tasks, appointments or commitments. Emergencies and surprises consider this an invitation to show up and blow up the notion that you think you run the world. Instead leave a little room for nothing. The nothing may turn into something and you’ll have time for it. If the nothing is nothing, consider it bonus time for a nap, a walk, or just sitting quietly.
2. Less rushing around makes you a kinder person.
Compare how you feel coming home after a day of back to back meetings with how you feel after coming home from a run or a long walk. Consider how you treat people after constantly reacting to email, social media, people you work with, and your racing mind all day versus how you treat people after you’ve unplugged for a while and given yourself time to be alone; away from people and your digital devices. You are likely more present, softer, and kinder.
3. Time for nothing invites you to remember yourself.
If you don’t build in a little margin and time for nothing, you won’t be able to listen to your heart or process ideas. After a day of non-stop input, you have to recover, shut down, or numb out. Instead schedule nothing if only to give yourself a minute to remember who you are, what you want, and how you want to live.
If doing nothing is hard for you, consider the benefits. Hanging around, puttering, daydreaming or whatever form your nothing takes is restorative for your mind, body, and heart. It’s a gift to you and everyone around you.
Sometimes I have to practically yell at myself to slow down or take a nothing break. Old habits die hard! But I’m always glad when I do have a nothing break–I think more clearly (and FASTER, I swear) afterwards. Happy 12th Anniversary!!!
Thank you!
Wise advice. Busy, busy, busy just makes me stressed, bothered, and less efficient. There’s much to be said for taking a few minutes to simply breathe. Now I have to go have my cup of tea and read my book for a few minutes before my day starts:)
Thank you. This is compelling and consistent with some excellent management training that I will never forget. The trainer said that for the 25 years of his time as a manager he scheduled daily 30 min “nothing” meetings. He left his desk, found a quiet phone-free location, and asked himself “Why am I here? What value do I bring?” He asked us to commit to this even if all we do at first is sit and do nothing. He said that he never told anyone where he was going, nor did he feel the need to justify his commitment to nothing. In 25 years, no crisis arose while he reflected, no sky fell. He was a better leader for it, and it helped him be a more productive employee. The trainer said that in an effort for us to become better managers, and the kind of managers that the biotech company was investing in, we should be scheduling nothing every day if only to sit quietly with ourselves and ask why and what.
Happy anniversary! Sounds like a lovely weekend!
Some of my favorite moments are the ones that I get to spend alone with my thoughts. In fact, just yesterday my wife said that she feels bad that she goes out a few more times a month than I do. I replied by telling her to not feel bad and that she rejuvenates by going out and I by being alone.
We quickly learned to embrace the saying, “To each is their own.”
I finally realize now that “Do Nothing” time to me, really internally means letting there be time for sitting alone at home being bored, or just sitting alone at home and staring out the window with a quiet mind. Times of boredom and internal stillness, help revive and strengthen my abilities of creativity for other times.
Doing things away from home, whether for fun or purpose, makes me feel like it’s been another active busy day for me when looking back at it afterwards. Getting a one-on-one ride with friends who like driving me places is relaxing though. I enjoy sitting still and watching moving land.
I’m glad that this blog has helped me clarify what a “Do Nothing Day” is to me personally. Thank you!
I love those days when my husband and I just do “whatever.” We putter around the house, I cook while he draws, listen to jazz, we walk to the park and soak up nature, we roam bookstores, shop a farmer’s market, read, watch “The Hunt for Red October”, “Last of the Mohicans”, or “The Mummy” for the umpteenth time with fresh popcorn and iced tea. While we do like to socialize from time to time we also fiercely guard our free time together and we allow each other individual free time. It’s what keeps us sane and what has kept us together over 20 years.