Feeling overwhelmed by life is almost unavoidable when it feels like the world is a little shaky. Or a lot shaky depending where you live and what you may be experiencing. And, the day-to-day “normal” things can get to you too. Phone notifications, work obligations, fear of uncertainty, family needs, to-do lists, email overload, expectations, breaking news, illness, invitations and the list goes on for the things that overwhelm our time and thoughts.
When you feel overwhelmed by life and all it seems to throw at you, it’s time to think about what’s within your control. What are the tiny steps and small shifts? Otherwise the attempt to feel better feels overwhelming too.
If you are constantly feeling overwhelmed it’s hard to make decisions or have clarity on next steps. This is the time (even if it seems impossible) to ask for help. You deserve relief from the heaviness so you can recover. When you begin to feel better, make it a priority to protect your time, energy, space and health.
Overwhelmed by Life? Consider These 12 Helpful Reminders
So what do we do? How can move through life with less stress and overwhelm? How can we enjoy our lives in the midst of the chaos? Is it time for some life changes or other shifts to protect our well-being? I discovered after years of experimenting and eliminating things like clutter, debt, drinking and busyness that it is possible to create a more peaceful environment.
1. Solve the little problem before the big one.
Often, when we are struggling with a big problem, we try to push through and figure things out. In the name of being proactive, we consider all the what-ifs and the worst-case scenarios and the zillion options available. We stay up at night worrying about the outcome. Instead of trying to figure everything out from that sleep-deprived, pushed-through-and-came-up-empty state, try solving a little problem first. Are you thirsty? Drink water. Are you sore? Go for a walk. Are you too overwhelmed to meal-plan? Order food delivery.
2. Don’t let worry keep you up at night.
Note to self and anyone who is is worried: How something ends up never depends on how much you worry about it. When you can’t stop worrying, escape the worry trap and
- write it all down. Promise to worry about it later.
- listen to podcasts, an audiobook or music (change the station).
- be present and notice the things around you.
- go outside and walk it off.
- turn your phone off.
- help someone else.
These coping strategies can stop you from spiraling when you worry. This is really important during stressful situations. Letting go of overwhelming worry may help you sleep well too.
3. Focus on the stuff that is within your control.
When you are overwhelmed, tired and stressed, the solution is almost always less. Get rid of something. Lots of somethings. Take a deep breath. If you are having feelings of overwhelm, negative thoughts or a change in mood, instead of focusing on the things that are out of your control, simplify the things that are within it. Ease tension and overwhelming thoughts by creating a little space. Declutter a drawer or a whole room if you have the energy.
4. It’s probably time to put yourself first.
When you feel overwhelmed with life, how do you prioritize yourself? Maybe it doesn’t have to be that hard. In fact, if it is hard, make it soft. Usually that means making it smaller. For instance, instead of emailing your entire family and telling them you won’t be available for them anymore, try drinking a glass of water or curling up with a good book.
Or, instead of quitting your job and telling your horrible boss off, declutter your junk drawer or read a good novel. Those other things may happen in time but right now, the first step in prioritizing you is a gentle step. What is a small, soft, gentle way you can give to yourself today?
5. Set boundaries to reduce overwhelm.
When I first heard this quote, “The only people who get upset about you setting boundaries are the ones who were benefiting from you having none,” it hit home. If you need to set boundaries for your own mental and or physical wellbeing, do it. Don’t worry about who might get upset. That part isn’t up to you. Holding your boundaries will lower your stress levels, improve relationship issues and help you protect your peace.
6. Make small changes every day.
If you want to live with less stress and more peace and ease, it’s time to embrace the idea of letting go, slowing down and living with less. Leave perfectionism and other behaviors that don’t serve you behind. Move away from stress and overwhelm towards peace and ease by making small changes every day. If small changes feel too big, make them tiny.
7. Be picky about what gets your time and attention.
It can’t all matter at the same time. Sometimes it seems like the only option is to take in everything which usually leads to your daily to-do list becoming longer than your day, headaches, burnout and lack of sleep. It all feels important and urgent but it really can’t all matter at the same time. Simplify anything and everything. Be picky about what gets your energy and attention. When everything is important, nothing is.
8. You don’t have to push through feeling overwhelmed.
The next time things get hard or you don’t feel well, instead of pushing through it try resting through it. We are hard enough on ourselves and somehow become even tougher when going through something challenging like a job change, grief, a breakup or breakdown or not feeling well. Somewhere we started believing that pushing through was our only choice. It’s not. We don’t have to effort through everything. We can ease through and rest through. We might not get through faster but we will get through healthier and happier. Next time (or right now), be gentle instead. Trade pushing, forcing and controlling for resting, relaxing and resetting.
9. Dump the guilt around self-care.
Feeling guilty for taking care of yourself is not taking care of yourself. So often we apologize or make excuses for the way we take care of ourselves. From saying no to going to bed early, not drinking or eating certain things, taking solo trips … let’s stop apologizing for giving ourselves what we need to feel well, be present, get creative and love our people. Bye guilt.
10. Stop doomscrolling.
At some point, you realize that social media isn’t inspiring you to take action or even entertaining you. Without even realizing, you’ve slipped into doomscrolling. Create boundaries around how you consume the news and other media. Start with time boundaries identifying when you won’t scroll at all, like early morning and late evening. Then give yourself time limits for scrolling.
Social media recently inspired me to start calling my reps and senators again but it was only after I went a little too far down the doom and gloom rabbit hole that is social media. Pay attention to how you are feeling during your scrolling time and create an exit strategy for when things start to fall apart. For instance, keep your favorite book nearby, call a good friend or take action in another way when you feel the doom begin.
11. Protect your time.
I don’t know who needs to hear this but you are allowed to say, “no” even when you aren’t busy. Just because you have time or availability for something doesn’t mean you have to say yes. You are the only one who can protect your time. Don’t create space so you can do more things (especially things you don’t want to do).Create space for more life, for more being you.
12. Be gentle when you are feeling overwhelmed.
When you are gentle with yourself, your nervous system can better tolerate what’s going on out there. We get so overwhelmed because things are overwhelming AND because we push back, go harder, get through and toughen up to prove our strength and resilience. Despite how we feel, we keep trying to catch up, climb the ladders, stay in control, jump through the hoops, take care of all the things and do it all.
Whew. Too too much. Let’s slow down and be gentle instead. Let’s give our insides a break. That stuff on the outside is always going to be out of hand, overwhelming and hard to handle. The stuff on the inside though, that’s our home. We can take it back by being gentle with ourselves.
Pay attention to how you are feeling.
Feeling overwhelmed is a sign. It’s a signal to shift something; from your mindset to your schedule. You have the power to cancel something or to say, “no thank you.” You are brave enough to make a small change that will ease your overwhelm. You have the option of deciding what matters to you and making room for whatever that is. When you don’t feel like you have that option, consider talking to therapists or counselors and address mental health conditions, coping skills and signs of distress.
If you are going through a really hard time right now, I’m rooting for you. I know it’s not easy (but being overwhelmed with life isn’t easy either). Notice when you are feeling overwhelmed and choose to pause and remind yourself that you can turn things around — inch by inch, step by step, and thought by thought.
