If you want to feel happier, consider a few of these 10 simple habits. You can feel happier without changing your entire life. It’s usually about simple shifts.
When you want to feel happier, it usually comes down to prioritizing a few simple habits. When it comes to choosing new habits for a little (or big) happiness bump, choose small shifts over big transformations. Tiny steps and slow progress will feel better than a big life overhaul. Author Glennon Doyle says, “When everything is terrible and I hate my life, I feel certain that I need a new career, a new religion, a new house, a new life. Then, I look at my list and remember that what I really need is probably a glass of water.”
10 Simple Habits to Help You Feel Happier
Feel happier right now by starting with the first simple habit. It’s an immediate mood booster! For a consistent uptick in your happiness levels, try one or two of these habits each week. Then pick your favorites to become daily habits. These habits will make you feel happier. They will have a positive ripple effect on your overall wellness and connections with people and projects you care about.
1. Prioritize simple pleasures to feel happier immediately.
I wrote a whole chapter about simple pleasures in the “rise” section of my book, Gentle. I look forward to waking up because I know there are a few simple pleasures waiting for me. When I make my coffee, I appreciate how it smells. I think about how lovely it will be to enjoy it while I chat with my sister. If you have coffee or tea in the morning, ask yourself if it will help you feel happier by seeing it as a simple pleasure. To keep this new habit tiny, start with the things that are already happening and pay attention to how special it is. Romanticize your life! Then, after a couple of weeks of turning your ordinary habits into simple pleasures, consider adding something new. As you can see, this tiny habit has the power to make you feel happier instantly.
2. Gently change your surroundings.
What surrounds you can impact how you feel on the inside. Even though I love being home, a gentle change in my surroundings sparks creativity which makes me feel happier. I don’t have to travel the world. It usually only takes working at a local coffee shop or taking a walk through a park. You can change your surroundings by taking a different route to work. Try visiting a new place in your neighborhood or by simply changing your at home routine. Drink your coffee outside, move your furniture around or listen to music that isn’t on your usual rotation. Keep it simple and gentle and see how your mood changes.
3. Feel happier by doing something nice for someone else.
There is so much pressure to change the world and find our purpose. What if we just contributed in a small way to someone else’s day instead? I know the simple kindness of someone sending me a sweet message can change my day. It doesn’t take much to make someone else happier which in turn usually makes you feel happier too. Here are a few examples:
- Bake something for a friend.
- Send a care package or thank you note.
- Donate books at a little library.
- Share someone’s creative work or small business on social media.
- Make a playlist full of love songs for someone you love.
- Give someone a genuine compliment.
- Donate to an organization you care about. I like The Loveland Foundation.
4. Create anticipation by planning something fun.
According to this article in the New York Times, looking forward to something can be almost as good as experiencing it. Plan a trip or pre-order a book from your favorite author. In the NYT article they say, “Numerous studies suggest that having something to look forward to boosts your mood and lowers your stress.”
“Imagining good things ahead of us makes us feel better in the current moment,” said Simon A. Rego, the chief psychologist at Montefiore Medical Center and Albert Einstein College of Medicine, who has written extensively on the effect of anticipation on mood. “It can increase motivation, optimism and patience and decrease irritability.”
5. Honor your bedtime.
This habit may not feel easy but it is so simple. There is no doubt in my mind we feel happier when we sleep better. If you struggle to sleep well, start with your bedtime. Are you going to bed at a reasonable hour or are you staying up in the name of doing, “one more thing?” Because it’s never only one more thing and it always takes longer than just a sec. Start by setting a reasonable bedtime.
Great advice I heard says to get in bed about an hour before you want to fall asleep. That’s about 8:30 pm for me. Choose a time that works for you and allows for 7 or 8 hours of sleep if possible. Once you commit to a bed time, honor it. Set an alarm to remind you to go to bed. Stick to it for at least two weeks so you can see if it helps you sleep better.
Honor your bedtime. Even if you aren’t falling asleep right away, create the gentle practice of putting yourself to bed. Read or do something else that doesn’t require a phone, tv, or tablet/computer if possible. Leave the emails, tv shows, extra house cleaning and other tasks for another day. At first, you may feel a little frustrated especially if you struggle with Revenge Bedtime Procrastination. “We value productivity so much that we pack our days,” says Lauren Whitehurst, a cognitive neuroscientist and sleep researcher at the University of Kentucky. Revenge bedtime procrastination, she says, “is really a kind of commentary on [our lack of down time.]”
6. Say “No thank you”
I don’t know who needs to hear this but you are allowed to say, “no” even when you aren’t busy. I don’t say “no” because I’m so busy, I say “no” because I don’t want to be so busy. Just because you have time or availability for something doesn’t mean you are obligated to say yes. You are the only one who can protect your time. Don’t create space so you can do more things (especially things you have no interest in). Create space for more life, for more being you.
While I think it’s clear how this habit can make you feel happier (less time doing things you don’t want to do and more time enjoying your life) it doesn’t mean it’s always easy to practice. There are simple ways to help, and the way to keep this habit small is to keep it short. It’s when you over explain that saying no get’s complicated. Keep this habit tiny starting with something or someone other than the hardest thing or the person who is the hardest to say no to. Practicing this habit will help you to trust yourself, to feel less overwhelmed and overextended. It will give you an opportunity to come back to you.
7. Pause purchases and you’ll feel happier.
I used to buy things because I thought they would make me feel happier. And they did, at first. That happiness dropped off fast though. As Matt D’Avella says, “After you have your basic needs met, getting more stuff won’t make you any happier.” Hedonic adaptation, sometimes called the Hedonic Treadmill suggests that through life’s ups and downs and highs and lows we usually return to our own level of baseline happiness. In other words, more stuff isn’t the answer if you are in search of more happiness and life satisfaction. The next time you want to buy something (outside of your basic needs), pause the purchase for 30 days. Then decide.
8. If you want to feel happier, quit something that makes you sad.
Take a look at the habits in your life that are causing you pain. Decide if the things you are listening to, watching and engaging in make you feel happier or unhappier. If you are watching a show or reading a book you don’t enjoy, quit doing that. If starting your day scrolling social media drains you, quit that.
As I’ve simplified my life, I’ve realized that I need much less than I think to feel happy. Creating little boosts of happiness through tiny habit changes that often come with other benefits is always a win. Sometimes you need more than a happiness boost. If you are experiencing depression or grief, please ask for the support you need. Not everything has a quick fix. The more you practice these habits, the more comfortable they feel. When you practice healthy habits like these you will feel happier. When you feel happier, you add a layer of ease to things that may have felt challenging before.
9. Create the habit of being unavailable.
Being connected to people and available for people we love can make us feel happier. But when we are always available, we may start to feel resentful. Between work calls, emails and texts and friends and family reaching out, even the good stuff can feel overwhelming. Create the habit of being unavailable for a little while each day by creating “me time” on your calendar. Turn your phone off or turn on do not disturb mode. By creating some protected time for yourself, you can better engage with your community when it’s time. We need both time for ourselves and time to be connected with others.
10. Create a jar of joy.
I included this one in a recent article called, My 10 Secrets to Being Happy. Clearly, feeling happier has been on my mind lately! Put a jar or vase on your counter. Add little notes throughout each week about the things that made you smile. What were you grateful for and what actually made you happy? At the end of the year (or when you are feeling down), go through your jar of joy to remember all of the little things that lift you up.
