This decluttering advice comes from someone who has a lot of experience actually decluttering. For the last 16 years, I’ve been answering questions and giving decluttering advice I’ve learned along the way, but you might not want to hear what I’m sharing today.
The thing we really want to hear when it comes to decluttering advice is how to declutter faster, and how to make letting go easier. Sometimes we want a decluttering list or a decluttering challenge. We want the secret to decluttering but there really isn’t one. Some tips and tricks work for a little while, but the decluttering advice below is the truth (even if you don’t want to hear it).
Tough Love Decluttering Advice You Might Not Want to Hear
Consider this tough love decluttering advice coming right from my heart. I had to learn all of these things to let go with more ease and to stop buying things I didn’t need. The more I decluttered, the more space I craved. I love the life I’ve created by getting rid of most of my stuff. Now I don’t have to take care of things I don’t care about.
1. Consistency matters more than intensity.
It may feel rewarding to spend all weekend cleaning out your garage or decluttering your house. That probably feels exhausting too. And then all through the week, little bits of clutter continue to creep in so in a few weeks or months, it’s time to clean out the garage again. While these decluttering bursts feel good at first, they don’t last.
Instead, create a daily or more regular, consistent decluttering habit. Even if you are only spending 10 minutes a day, you’ll be moving things out of your house and maintaining your intention of making space in your home and your heart. Your focus will be on the progress you are making and you’ll want to continue to make instead of the weekend finish line or the temporary decluttering high.
2. Your stuff isn’t very special or worth much.
I’m sure your stuff is very nice. Mine was too. I thought it was special. It all meant something to me which made it impossible to release. You might hold on because it means so much or because you think you can sell it and get what you paid for it or more. With the exception of a few items, this is rarely the case. You spend more time and energy trying to sell your stuff than it’s actually worth.
Admit that your stuff isn’t special. Maybe there are stories about your stuff that are special, but you can remember that without the stuff. Write it down or take a picture. Before you try to sell your things, pick an amount like $100 and only sell things worth more than that. Let the rest go knowing that you’ve already got your money’s worth. Now you have to decide if you are going to continue to invest your time, space, attention, and emotion in something that you don’t really care about anymore.
3. You don’t care about most of your things.
We can really only care about a few things at a time. When everything matters, nothing does. Especially if you have many of the same things (coffee cups, t-shirts, candle holders, etc.), you probably have a favorite that you use all the time and the rest just take up space. If someone hid them, you might not even notice.
One time, before we decluttered our 2000 square foot home to the point of having empty rooms, we had way too much stuff. In the bedroom, there were three flower vases on our dresser with pretty faux flowers in them. The flowers looked like the flowers at our wedding so of course I thought they were very special. Then, when I realized I barely noticed them unless I was cleaning them or trying to dust around them without knocking them over, I hid them. I boxed them up and put them in the garage for a few months. I didn’t tell my husband.
Later, I set them back up on the dresser. When my husband got home from work, I told him I wanted to donate them. He said, “No, I love those!” When I told him they had been in the garage for months, he realized that he didn’t even realize they were gone, and agreed that we could let them go. This decluttering advice reminded me of that story.
4. Just in case means never.
How many things have you held on to just in case? This is procrastination at it’s best. We hold on because we aren’t quite ready to let go, but we rarely use or enjoy the just in case stuff we keep. Take a look in the back of your closet, in the junk drawer, under the sink, or in boxes in the garage or attic, and it’s clear that just in case means never.
Admitting that just in case means never allows us to stop procrastinating and invites us to let go and stop living in fear of not having enough. When we say goodbye to just in case, we can start living and giving in more meaningful ways.
5. You aren’t in control of other people’s decluttering habits.
This decluttering advice is a little annoying. We aren’t in control! You can’t make your kids want to let go or get your partner “on board” so the best thing you can do is focus on your own stuff. Lead by example and you might inspire others and have lots of gentle conversations about why you want to live with less.
It’s tempting to start with other people and other people’s stuff because that’s easier than letting go of your own stuff. Instead of trying to get everyone on board with decluttering, demonstrate your desire to live with less stuff by living with less of your own stuff first. You may not have control of every space in your house, but you could ask for support around a clutter-free common area.
6. Until you define what “enough” means to you, you will always have too much and never be content with the amount.
I really believe that most people could let go of 50% of their stuff and still have more than enough. The problem is that we get worried that we won’t have enough one day, so we hold on to all of it. If you can’t figure out your big picture version of enough, start small. Look in your closet. Do you enough or too much? How about the kitchen utensil drawer that is filled with spoons and whisks and measuring cups? Enough or too much?
7. Decluttering your home is going to take some time.
In the age of everything happening immediately, that’s the bar. We think it’s not working when it takes a long time. If you consider how long you’ve been collecting stuff, you might have more patience for the amount of time it takes to let it go. If you push decluttering off because you don’t have the time or energy, remember that slow progress is still progress. You can do a little at a time.
Think about it leaving the same way it came in … one thing at a time. If you let go of one thing at a time every day, you’ll be 365 things lighter at the end of the year. If you let go of one thing at a time 10 times a day, you’ll be 3650 things lighter at the end of the year. Not to mention that there is a lot of progress to be had in between 365 and 3650.
8. Your stuff owns you.
I know you think you own your stuff, but who is taking care of what? You insure your stuff, clean your stuff, organize your stuff, and protect your stuff. You give your stuff your time, energy and attention. Honestly, you may own your stuff, but your stuff owns you right back. If this feels like decluttering advice you don’t want to hear, ask yourself how you’d rather spend your time and energy. Then make room for more of that.
Take this decluttering advice even if you don’t want to hear it, but only if you want more space, time, energy, peace, and joy in your life.
