I didn’t simplify my life for clean countertops or to be better organized. I simplified my life because I got sick. Really sick. I was sick, tired, and overwhelmed for a long time, but when I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis, I knew things had to change. The stress and excess in my life may not have caused my disease, but it contributed to relapses, new symptoms and other health issues. If you’ve ever thought …
- this is too much
- things need to change
- this headache/cold/exhaustion is my body telling me to slow down
then you can relate.
We’ve all been impacted by the effects of stress and excess. Some of us notice and shift things around and for others (like me), we let it go on for too long thinking “it is what it is” until our bodies say, “enough is enough.”
Someone with MS recently asked me, “How can I be healthier with MS?” After writing back with some suggestions, I realized you don’t need MS to benefit from these recommendations. They apply to all autoimmune and other chronic conditions. In fact, even if you don’t have a specific diagnosis or condition, but are running low on energy, don’t sleep well, get frequent headaches or simply don’t feel your best, these might be helpful.
For Your Best Health: 8 Things to Consider if You are Sick and Tired
1. Build a medical team you trust.
My first neurologist and her team were terrible. I was diagnosed over the phone. They told me to review the pharmaceutical kits and pick my own drug. They told me diet and exercise don’t matter. They told me my health would decline. After I few months, I realized they weren’t on my team (and fired them) but also that I had to rise up and build and lead a team. I used to be intimidated by doctors and other medical professionals, but now I know we have to work together. They know their stuff and I know my stuff.
2. Remember you know your body better than anyone else.
When I mentioned above that I know my stuff, I mean that I know what I believe, and know my body. You know your stuff too. Keep this in mind when working with your medical professionals, when taking advice from well-meaning friends and family, and especially when gathering information from the internet. Trusting what you know will take some practice, but you do know.
3. Reduce stress.
If we want to improve our health and live with more energy and wellness, we have to be willing to live with less stress. Here’s the road to less stress: Less stuff. Less busyness. Less drama. Less debt. Less worry. Less fear. It takes time, but go down this road.
4. Rest when you need to rest.
Let’s stop apologizing for taking care ourselves, for taking naps, for staying in on a Friday night and taking a bath. Pushing through the pain doesn’t usually lead to less pain. Rest and renew.
5. Fuel when you need to fuel.
Make a list of the things that fuel you … body, mind, heart & soul. Fill up on good food, exercise, meditation, writing, and connecting with people you love.
6. Don’t try to do it all at once.
You didn’t get sick and tired overnight. Give yourself time to heal and don’t put a time limit on it. Adding random deadlines for feeling better only adds more stress. Instead, take a little step each day, rest when you need to rest and fuel when you need to fuel.
7. Don’t give up.
Keep experimenting. Ask for help. Do whatever it takes to feel well … to be well.
8. Give hope all the time it needs to replace fear.
Not feeling well is scary. Not knowing what’s wrong is scary. A devastating diagnosis is scary. The words chronic, debilitating, unknown … all scary. But we have to make a choice. Will we live in fear or in hope? It’s not as easy as a flip of a switch, but if you find daily pockets of hope each day, the fear will dissipate. Write down what you are afraid of, and what makes you smile, what you are curious about and what you are willing to do to feel better. Keep writing it down until your hope lists are longer than your fear lists.
It’s been more than a decade since I’ve had an MS relapse, but I still remember what it was like to wake up afraid that I wouldn’t be able to see or walk or think straight. I can’t predict the future but now I wake up hopeful and excited for the day ahead and find it easier to focus on what really matters to me.
Your best health will be unique for you. It won’t look like my best health, your partner’s best health or anyone else’s best health. It will also look different today than it does in five years. Figure out what your best health is today.
You’ve done a great job taking care of everyone and everything around you and now it’s time to do what’s best for you. Take all the time you need to give that gift to yourself.
Jo Brough says
January 10, 2018 at 12:09 pmExcellent Article.
My health ‘wake up’ wasn’t nearly as scary as yours, but it has given me pause for thought. I broke a bone in my foot at the end of September. At the time I was stressed out at work ( and had rung my GP that day to try and get signed off work due to stress), I was stuffing my emotions down with food ( a family sized bag of crisps 3 – 4 times a week and alsorts of other junk), piling on weight and feeling like I was at the end of my tether. .
In the end I was off work for 5 weeks, and spent that time looking after me. I made a few decisions about my self care and as a result I have now lost 35lbs ( I have quite a bit more to lose), am much fitter and am looking for a less stressful job. Im also stepping back from situations in my current job and not getting involved where I dont have to.
I firmly believe my breaking my foot happened so that I would step back from all the stress and rubbish and be able to reassess my situation and adjust it accordingly.
Thank you for sharing this Courtney. My copy of your book arrived today and Im looking forward to having the time to read it.
Best Wishes, Jo
Julia says
January 11, 2018 at 6:01 amThank you so very much for this excellent post, Courtney. Your words of wisdom could not have come at a better time for me.
Melanie says
January 11, 2018 at 3:23 pmI know I have to relieve some of the stress in my life. I stress over so many things that I’m already doing my best at or have no control over.
I know something is “wrong” with me and I’m in the middle of getting tests and seeing a specialist but its such a drawn out and not at all straight forward process. It’s almost as if I’m being told I’m not sick enough. I feel like a nuisance every time I rock up at an appointment!
Zoe Quick says
January 13, 2018 at 4:56 pmThis post was perfectly timed for me as I sit at the point of making some bigger shifts towards simplifying. I’ve been keeping my head (just) above water for over a year as I’ve watched my health decline, tweaking my diet and seeing a series of practitioners to help manage a series of chronic complaints. But through it all I’ve basically been carrying on. However, lately I’ve begun to honour the moments when I feel exhausted rather than powering through. This has awakened me to the idea of working to my optimum rather than pushing just over my limits all the time. I’ve recognised that I need to drop some of my work commitments, to be answerable to far less a number of people – this has financial implications, particularly controversial within my relationship, but we will muddle through and deal with the consequences because this is about lasting shifts rather than a temporary fix… I may achieve less in a day, but this is rich and real rather than an illusion of what life should look like which I forever fall short of… Thanks Courtney for your inspiration!
Daisy says
January 16, 2018 at 7:04 amThanks for sharing what you’ve learned with us, Courtney! I didn’t fall into simple living due to a disease but you’re right that it sure helped the chronic illnesses I had at that time. I love your idea of finding your team. I’ve done the same and it really does make a huge difference!
Laurel says
January 17, 2018 at 8:12 pmThanks for this post (and your site)… Last spring as I was in the middle of being diagnosed with MS, I decided to check out the “minimalism” scene. I was excited to hear your story in the Minimalists’ documentary – how your MS was a springboard for you toward “being more with less.” After 8 months of figuring out how/what/etc. with my boss (who’s been an excellent boss to me for 12 years), I now work 80% and have completely different job duties (ones that do not include high-stress, high-profile duties nor supervising staff). I am still working on other pieces of my life as I continue to settle into my still-relatively-new MS reality and love this list! I’m looking forward to diving into your book as well – I just need to finish my current book first!
Dancing Rabbit says
January 30, 2018 at 10:03 pmThank you for posting this. The words ‘it’s over a decade since my last relapse’ give all of us with MS more evidence and hope that it’s possible if we take care of us.
WT says
February 28, 2018 at 2:24 pmI’ve always heard that if you don’t take care of yourself, you can’t take care of everything else. That is so true. And yes, you do have to make your own medical team. I found that out the hard way years ago when trusting the wrong doctor almost cost me my life. My doctor now knows that when I tell him I’m sick, he had better listen. He works with me rather than pacify me. It has made a world of difference. I’m planning my exit in a few years from the stressful workforce, too, and managing to simplify my life to what I need , not what someone else thinks I need. Its the most liberating journey I’ve ever started . Your blog has been a good addition to my journey.
Louise Howey says
March 3, 2018 at 11:08 amHi Courtney
I clicked on your link as I follow Cookie & Kate and Kate had attached your link.
I had no idea what to expect but then read that you too have MS! I was diagnosed with Primary Progressive 2 years ago but going through my history they think I started the first symptoms about 10 years ago now. Trigger extreme stress.
I have too been doing a lot of reading & research and have dropped the cows milk, hard cheese like cheddar and certainly cutting down on the meat as much as poss, in fact no meat for the last 2 weeks! Gorgeous butternut squash chilli simmering as I write. A small step but my partner and I are enjoying it!
I take a long nap everyday as my body needs it.