Be More with Less

simplicity is love

If You Don’t Have It All Figured Out

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If You Don't Have It All Figured Out

Am I the only one who doesn’t have the year perfectly planned out, or planned out at all? My friend Paul asked me recently, “What’s in store for you in 2016?” and my response was, “2016 is sort of a mystery.” The answer scared me a little bit, and then I remembered every year is a mystery.

Sometimes it feels like everyone else has it all together, so if you are like me and don’t have it all figured out, remember these three things.

  1. You are not alone. Don’t assume based on blog posts or social media that your friends have it all figured out. You are only getting a glimpse of their reality. We all do our best to share our best, but the truth is … we are all trying to figure this thing called life out, and it’s not always as pretty as it looks.
  2. It’s going to be ok. Even when our calendars are full, and things look well planned out, we don’t get to control it all, and releasing the illusion of control feels good. Big plan or no plan, things may not turn out the way you thought. They won’t meet your expectations. They will exceed your expectations. Loosen your grip and don’t measure the success of something just on the results or how they matched up to your plan or goal.
  3. You probably have more figured out than you think. When you think you have no idea what you are doing, make a list of what you do know. Write down what’s happening now, or what happened recently even though you didn’t have it all figured out.

When you don’t have it all figured out, there is more opportunity for surprise and serendipity. In the moments that feel like scary uncertain madness, remind yourself things are unfolding. Give the pieces time to reveal themselves, and then take the time you need to put them together.

Even without a big plan …

To support number 3 above, I made my own list. Nothing on this list is the result of a big plan. In fact, none of these things were on my radar a year ago.

The Tiny Wardrobe Tour
Last week I announced the possibility of a Tiny Wardrobe Tour, visiting 33 cities to chat about simplicity and Project 333. I don’t have it all planned out yet, but with more than 1700 people responding to a survey I shared, I can say with confidence that this is happening.

The Book
I’ve written and self published a few books over the last five years, and now I’m working on something new. As I shared in this article … I am writing my heart down to create a book I love, and one I hope you will love too. It’s about what I compromised in my life to have more money, stuff, and status, and how things changed when I realized that wasn’t working. It’s the book about how simplicity brought me back to love, and how it can bring you back to love too.

Writing the book, selling the book, and making the book a book is taking longer than I thought, but I know it will be ready at just the right time.

The Busy Boycott
Last year, I spoke at Simple REV, an awesome simplicity conference put on by my friend Joel. That speaking engagement inspired The free Busy Boycott challenge. If you’re interested in watching my 12 minute presentation from the conference, it’s right here.

Real Simple
I was featured in the January issue of Real Simple magazine. Thanks to the attention you’ve given me, my story has the attention of national media outlets. I sometimes have trouble celebrating things like this out loud, but it’s exciting. Check out the issue, or see a recap here: 4 Things I Learned from a Ruthless Closet Purge.

Live Project 333 Q & A
The lovely Erin Verena hosted a live chat on her YouTube channel and invited me to participate. It was so much fun to hangout and talk about living simply, dressing with less, and why I simplified my life in the first place. Erin made a condensed version of the session here: Q & A with Courtney Carver.

A Simple Year 2016
A year ago I thought 2015 might be the last year of A Simple Year, 12 months of guided simplicity. Instead, we came back with new contributors, topics and content. I’ve been getting to know our new members and I am so grateful I get to work like people like this. Registration is open through January 31st and after that we are closed for the year. Learn more here if you’d like to join us.

When I started writing this, I was thinking of ways to be better at figuring things out, but instead, I’m just going to be me. I’m not going to map it all out, plan it all out, or ever figure it all out and that’s ok.

I like a good mystery.

Comments

  2. Love it!! Some family would have every minute planned months in advanced. If summer family camping trip not planned by Thanksgiving they are in full panic mode….haha.
    How can you ever have a spur if the moment event if everyinute plan
    And don’t even get me started on the famies that have kids in every activity…look hard at these families at your local school gym, how happy do they look dragging kids around from activity to activity.

    .

  3. I’m like you! I find it too stressful to have everything planned out. I like it when there is more space and thus “there is more opportunity for surprise and serendipity.”

  4. I was talking about this my friend about this just last night. My own life is lived out in a way where I have no big plans in terms of careers, relationships, overall life purpose. I’m taking opportunities as they come and seeing what happens. Without defined goals I’m finding that I’m bolder. Let’s do it and see what happens!

  5. I tend to lose interest in long term plans and although I have a rough idea of what I want to do I like to be a bit spontaneous and do things without planning from time to time. Good luck with the mystery.

  6. I have ideas of what I want to do with my year but nothing concrete. I actually find my anxiety increases if too much is planned and vice versa. I need a happy balance between being occupied and busy. Having goals and having mysteries. It’s what keeps me ticking along.

  7. Looks like you have some interesting projects afoot Courtney. I think one of the most delicious things about ripening (a much nicer take on ageing!) is a preparedness to find and honour our own rhythm and truths. Good on you for doing just that and in so doing, inspiring us to do so as well. Thanks!

  8. I never make plans for my year or days because they never go according to plan.

    I deal with issues as they come my way. That keeps me flexible and prevent me from being disappointed.

    There is a place for planning. It does keep you on track I should probably be a little more structured.

  9. This could not have been more timely Courtney. I’ve been stressing over some things that haven’t been happening the way I’d hoped, but I know it’ll all be ok.

  10. I started a new job with the new year that I am not perfectly qualified for. Today has been an exceptionally hard day as I swim through the unknown. Thank you for your encouragement. This post was exactly what I needed to read today.

  11. Great article, Courtney, and as Joelle said it came at a perfect time. I am stressing about my new business and it IS okay to have only a tentative plan. I once read to write your plans in pencil, and I think that is what I am trying to do.

  13. Thank you for being here on the world wide web. Your words always come at the right time.

  14. I saw a great cartoon somewhere; two bears sitting outside a (former) camper’s tent, gnawing on bones, one bear saying to the other: “Meticulous planners just taste better.” ;-}

  15. Great post! I love planning ahead but rarely plan more than a month in advance. I guess it keeps me flexible to try new things but still have some idea about the near future.

  17. I am so excited about the overwhelming response for your tiny wardrobe tour. So exciting! Just like a workable budget (so I have learned), not having everything totally planned leaves room for the flow of life and of new possibilities! I love the possibilities in yours!

  18. Hi Courtney.
    Just discoverd your blog from the Convertkit email.
    Nicely done!
    Seems we also have a friend in common, Joel Zaslofsky. I was at his first SimpleREV conference. Do you also know Anthony Onagaro?

    Peace,
    Roger

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