Clutter comes in many forms, from the stuff in our homes to the too many items on our to-do lists. Clutter also exists in how we treat ourselves. Let’s stop apologizing for things we don’t need to be sorry for. It’s exhausting and often a quiet reminder that we aren’t good enough. Our hearts show us the way, but when we are apologetic, our heart’s hear, “shhhh …”
Pay attention to how many times you say sorry in a day and what you apologize for. A heartfelt “I’m sorry” is powerful. A meaningful apology can repair a relationship or turn us around when we are going in the wrong direction. We diminish that by apologizing for things we shouldn’t be sorry for.
Let’s stop apologizing for these 10 things.
1. Eating or drinking the way we want to eat or drink.
We don’t have to apologize for or even explain what we choose or choose not to put in our bodies. The end.
2. What we wear.
When we think we don’t fit in, we apologize for being under dressed, overdressed, or mismatched. Except for rare circumstances, no one really notices what we are wearing. We can stop apologizing for what we wear.
3. Saying no.
If you spend your free time catching up and doing all the things you don’t have time to do, you don’t have free time. If you want free time – real free time, or if you crave eight whole hours of sleep, a proper lunch break, or at least 24 hours away from your email, you are going to have to say no without an apology. A lot. This will help.
4. Thinking differently.
Being curious and considering new ideas and ways to create, thrive, love, and live is a blessing. When people reject that and make you feel like apologizing, remember that it’s not about you. They may feel threatened and afraid that if you change you may think differently about them. Be gentle instead of apologetic.
5. For being yourself.
We desperately need to you to be unapologetically you. Ok?
6. For changing your mind.
Sticking to it for the sake of sticking to it serves no one. Things change outside and inside. When we hold on so we can be right or because we are afraid to change course because of what others may think, we compromise the opportunity to learn and grow.
7. Delayed response.
How many of your emails, voice mails, or other interactions start with “sorry for taking so long to get back to you” even though it’s been less than a day? We are doing our best, no need to apologize. “Thanks for your patience” may be appropriate but otherwise, carry on.
8. Letting go.
You get to decide what’s important to you and can let the rest go without apology.
9. Putting our mental and physical health first.
When you put your health first, you can serve and connect from a place you just can’t access when you are rundown, sick or tired. That means you can go to bed early, take a walk in the middle of the day or incorporate more unconventional self-care practices. Good health is nothing to apologize for.
10. Holding boundaries.
You may be apologizing because you feel guilty for holding your boundaries but it’s likely not guilt but discomfort you are feeling. Brené Brown says, “Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves, even when we risk disappointing others.” Her mantra when setting boundaries is, “Choose discomfort over resentment.” If you aren’t willing to experience the discomfort, you might be resentful later of yourself or others for not giving you what you need.
We can be kind and loving without being sorry. Our hearts deserve that.