The Gentle Warrior’s Guide to Doing Good Work is a list of 10 non-negotiables for creating and engaging in good work. These rules don’t confine me. Creating boundaries provides the space to expand in all directions.
If these rules don’t resonate with you, create your own list to guide you in life and work and be sure to include some version of rule #5 found in the Gentle Warrior’s Guide – Part 1.
6. I refuse to hold on when it’s time to let go.
There are times, even when I think something is really good when it just doesn’t work. A project doesn’t come together, an idea doesn’t resonate with others, or there simply isn’t time to nurture and grow something because there are other priorities. Instead of struggling to make it work, I let it go.
Be a gentle warrior.
Resist the urge to hold on even tighter. Even though it’s hard to let go, the moment you do, you are free to move on and free of the stress and angst that was holding you back.
7. I will let it be ugly.
I can think of many times I didn’t try something because I was afraid I couldn’t do it, or because I was afraid I’d be bad at it.I was worried I’d look weird/inexperienced/dumb/and the list goes on. Usually though, I was just afraid it would be ugly. When I say ugly, I mean challenging to figure out, or uncomfortable and imperfect.
Now, I try things even if I don’t know how, or don’t know if they will work. I turn things upside down, burn them down, build them back up, recreate, reinvent, rewrite, and stumble through until my ugly idea turns into a butterfly.
Be a gentle warrior.
Choose grace over perfection and let it be ugly. Say “I don’t know” and ask for help. Give yourself the time and space you need to bloom.
8. I will only work on projects I really care about.
I worked for other people for decades and was rarely in a position to pick and choose my work. Now I choose who I work with, when I work, and what projects are best for me. I recognize it’s a disservice to me and everyone I partner with if the work doesn’t matter. If I don’t care, I say no thank you.
Be a gentle warrior.
Pay close attention to why you choose certain projects, clients and partners. If your choices are usually driven by money instead of genuine interest, ask yourself how things would change if you cared, really cared about your work.
If you work for someone else and don’t care about the work, find one small part of it you do care about and focus on that. If leaving your job isn’t an option, consider a side hustle built around something you do care about.
Don’t underestimate the power of being deeply involved and engaged in your work. It impacts all areas of your life.
9. I won’t compromise my work based on what other people think.
The title of Brené Brown’s book, Daring Greatly was inspired by this quote from Theodore Roosevelt and it strengthens my resolve as a gentle warrior not to let negative or positive feedback influence how I want to show up in my work and in the world.
“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”
Be a gentle warrior.
Are you working in a way that resonates with your heart, or working the way you do because of other people’s expectations? Ask yourself if you are showing up as you, or showing up as a version of yourself to please others, or because you got a little lost. I used to be a little lost too, and as I learned to be more me in my work, it was magic.
10. I’ll do it all with love and the heart of a gentle warrior.
I will treat people like people. I will be grateful and say thank you. I will sign my emails “love, Courtney”, and x’s and o’s. I will care deeply, but let it all go at the end of the day to sleep well. When I mess it all up, I’ll apologize and find a way to do it better, or differently.
Be a gentle warrior.
It starts here. Think less about strategy and more about people. Ask yourself how you really want to work before you consider the salary. Be loving in your work …
- loving to yourself
- loving to the work you create
- loving to people you serve
- loving to the people who will never work with you
Just be loving. When you work like this, you are paid in every possible way.