Aren’t you tired? That’s what I want to ask people I meet who are so busy, the people who are doing it all. Don’t you want to stop now? I know the answer because I was the crazy-busy, do it all, run yourself into the ground girl.
I was tired.
I wanted to stop.
Once I did end my quest to do it all, and began my busy boycott, I realized while I was chasing it all, making sure I didn’t miss a thing, I was missing the most important things.
10 Things You Miss When You are Busy Doing it All
1. Heart callings
I remember feeling really burnt out at work and thinking there must be something better out there, but I didn’t know what I wanted to do instead, or how I wanted to spend my time because I was too busy to think straight. I know my heart was calling, but I didn’t have any attention left for it.
When was the last time you just sat still and thought, “Ok heart, what do you want?” Maybe now is a good time.
2. Sleep
I’m talking naps and seven or eight hours of actual night-time snoozing. If you think, I’ll sleep when I die, why wait? Sleep feels magnificent. Not only does it feel really good, but sleep has great health benefits too. Getting enough sleep provides more energy, less pain, especially if you suffer from chronic pain, better moods, and even better weight control.
3. Signs of distress
If you are moving at an unsustainable pace, your body is telling you. Your heart is telling you. Your family is telling you. They may only be whispering at first, but if you miss those early signs of distress, the whispers get louder. Pay attention to the quiet words and signals to avoid breakups and breakdowns.
4. Beautiful views
The world is a stunning place, but when you are rushing through the day, you overlook the beauty all around you. Start noticing beauty. Maybe it’s a mountain view, someone’s smile, art on the wall, or a gorgeous idea that crosses your mind.
5. Connection
Are you missing opportunities for connection with the people you love most? When you catch yourself saying, “just a sec” or “I’ll be done in a minute” while checking email or burying your head in work knowing it will take much longer, call for a full stop, make eye contact and say, “I’m here.”
6. Satisfaction
There is something more satisfying than checking items off your to do list. It’s knowing you’ve done enough, and that you are enough even if nothing else gets done.
7. Solitude
When you are running crazy, doing all the things, you don’t get to be alone, be quiet, or to be thoughtful. Solitude can calm you down and energize you. Being alone with nothing to do is something you don’t want to miss out on.
8. Love
You may be the most thoughtful, caring, loving person, but if you are always so busy, you are missing out on tiny moments of love all day long. Make time and space for love.
9. Savoring
What’s more glorious than the first bite of your favorite meal? Do you savor those first bites, or are you eating at your desk, in your car, or on the way out the door? Savoring is a gift you can give yourself anytime.
10. Free time
Remember recess? We need unscheduled blocks of time to be free. I don’t say no because I’m so busy, I say no because I don’t want to be so busy. I want free time. We all deserve time to be curious, bored, and idle. We deserve time to putter or to do nothing at all.
This might not be everything you miss while you are busy doing it all, but if you can slow down and reclaim even a few of the things on this list, you’ll feel more confident saying no, and look forward to waking up to a full life instead of a busy day.
For some reason people think if they are busy then they are better than you. That doing more means they are a better person. Working more apparently means they are better than you too.
You know how many times I have been judged badly because I work part time? Or because I can spend FULL days at home. Or because I don’t have to wake up via an alarm clock.
I really wish other people could see there is a better way!
This is such a great reminder! I really like the thoughts on Connections. I think some of the reasons we are so busy all the time is that we try to do it all, and we try to be all things to all people. In our minds, we justify that we do this so we can have more connections, but we often sacrifice quality for quantity. In the end, if we’re not careful, we fail to make or care for those connections that really matter. We may feel that busy makes us important…but all it really does is make us miss the important.
This truly spoke to my heart. I’ve been having some health issues lately that I really wonder if they aren’t caused by stress from busyness. There is some stress in my life that is out of my control but my level of busyness is under my control and I need to tame it. Thank you for the inspiration.
This is so true…I’ve taken many steps this year to NOT be busy and to not have to hurry. It feels good to not identify with others who are running ragged from thing to thing. I mentioned to one person that we could return for a follow up appointment, no problem because we weren’t that busy…she looked at me like I had horns growing out of my head and said, “yeah right.”
After I had my children (or even before when I was pregnant), I realized how important it was for me to stop being busy and start enjoying life. At the time, I was still working full-time and missing my children so much during the day. When I finally got the opportunity to stay home full-time, I was ecstatic. I’ve been a SAHM for almost 9 months now and I have become so bored with my lack of committments. I’ve never had trouble managing the “busy”, but I do have trouble finding just the right amount of “busy” so that I don’t have free time to think about everything I could be improving in my life. I almost think it’s better for my mental and physical health to wish I had more free time versus actually have it.
In my (long ago) experience, it can take a while to get in the swing of being a stay-at-home mom and finding your own balance. In my case, it took a while to find the friends, playgroups and volunteer opportunities I wanted. Later, some part time work. And then things change as the children grow — that’s life!
I really appreciated this post, especially the line, “I don’t say no because I’m so busy, I say no because I don’t want to be so busy.”. I have a friend who doesn’t understand this. She wants me to do every little thing with her. When I say no she wants to know what else I’m doing. Sometimes I’m not doing anything else but I just want to have some time to myself and to relax. I don’t get why this is so hard for people to understand or why I should have to justify it. I may start using that line.
I so desperately needed to read this today… I agree with the general sentiment – we all know that we all need down time, and yet we STILL all feel bad for saying so and instead feel the need to justify or lie about why we can’t do something! We need to stop putting so much pressure on ourselves and each other!
Thank you so much for this beautiful reminder! Your writing speaks to my soul, Courtney!
Oh this so resonated with me. I’m trying not to use ‘that’ word.
Working on #5 with my family at the moment.
Thanks for this. Busy does not always mean better. In fact it doesn’t necessarily mean anything of value is being done at all. Sometimes our most precious and valuable moments are when we stop. I recall one day when I was walking to work and I decided to be completely mindful of everything around me. There was a sudden moment when I glimpsed just the edge of a building, but I was totally present to that moment. It was nothing special. But it was everything special too. Actually I’ve not managed to ever recapture that moment again, but I know it is possible. But de-cluttering the mind, and making it available to the light that is all around.
I love number four on this list, and it’s actually something that I’ve been trying to take more time for lately. Especially when I’m doing something outdoors, or even while in the car (except while driving, of course) I realize that I’m looking down at my phone, writing notes and checking emails, and I’m not looking around at everything around me. I appreciate a lot more now that I’ve taken the time to soak it all in.
Hello Courtney 🙂
Great article!
I think what I have missed the most are the potential connections. Most of my school life I was too busy to maintain any serious relationships or friendships. Perhaps if I took a moment out of my busy days to reflect on my life, I would have realized I was wasting irrecoverable opportunities.
Thanks for sharing this!
Cheers,
Nelu