If it seems like you never have enough time and energy, think about protecting it. You can decide what no longer gets your time and energy. The list below will offer some inspiration.
Creating rules around your time and energy can help you avoid needless decisions. Knowing what is always a “no” saves you not only the time and energy of doing the thing, but the time and energy of figuring out whether or not you are going to do it too.
I shared 9 things I refuse to make time for anymore including some of the following, and wanted to add a few more to my growing list of, “That’s a no for me.” This clarity helps to create time, energy and excitement for what deserves a whole hearted, “YES” and opens up room for those opportunities. Here are the 3 things from the earlier article I mentioned:
1. I won’t spend time or energy rewriting the past.
I can’t change what already happened. Even if I hoped it had turned out differently, it didn’t. Even if I keep wondering what would have happened if I had said or did something else, it’s over. I don’t want to spend time running every possible scenario through my head. Constant rumination leads to regret and I definitely don’t have time or energy for that. Onward!
2. Hangovers haven’t gotten my time or energy in a long time.
I stopped drinking in early 2019 so I never have to waste a morning or an entire day feeling hungover. I found the ultimate hangover remedy. It’s not drinking a glass of water for every drink you have or some other slick trick. Not drinking prevents hangovers 100% of the time. I wrote more about my AF journey in my book, Gentle.
3. Explaining or proving myself is no longer on my list of things to spend time or energy on.
I’ve jumped through all the hoops and climbed all the ladders and what was promised wasn’t waiting at the top. Instead it was lonely, empty and disappointing. The only person who has to be ok with what’s going on in my life and in my heart is me. I’ll make decisions people don’t like without explanation instead of people pleasing my way into convincing myself I have it all wrong. I want everyone to be well and safe and happy but I refuse to spend any more time or energy making sure my choices are pleasing to everyone.
3 More Things That No Longer Get My Time or Energy
When you are doing things that aren’t serving you, you don’t just lose the time doing the thing. For instance, a few years ago, I stopped weighing myself. It only took a minute or so a day to get on the scale, but I’d spend more time during the day reflecting on that number (not in a good way). For me, the whole thing was a total waste of time. Deciding not to weigh myself anymore gave me back time and attention.
Since I shared the items above, I’ve come up with a few more things I won’t be making time for in an effort to spend my minutes and moments on what I want to spend them on.
1. I won’t spend time and energy trying to finish books or other entertainment that isn’t entertaining.
I’m about to DNF a book I am currently reading. “Everyone” says the book is amazing but I’m bored. I’m not looking forward to reading it. This happens with movies or shows too. You can give yourself permission to quit reading a book and to stop entertaining yourself with things that aren’t entertaining you. If you want some great book recommendations, try these 7 books that will make you forget to check your phone.
2. Removing myself from the present to try and predict the future is not worth my time and energy.
Uncertainty has an an ability to remove us from our lives. It invites sleepless night or endless worrying and future thinking. It can feel challenging to stay present in the face of uncertainty but it’s worth the time and energy you’ll conserve. Somethings must unfold on their own. Recognizing and honoring what is not in your control will help you let go of trying to control it.
One of the best ways to come out of uncertainty and into the present moment is to do the 5 things practice. I’m not sure who created this, but it’s a simple and powerful way to be here now. Notice 5 things you can see, 4 things you can touch, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell and 1 thing you can taste. Welcome back.
3. The fear of missing out doesn’t scare me anymore (or take any of my time or energy).
Sleeping well, enjoying down time and showing up for my life and business means saying, “no” to things, sometimes good things. I could get FOMO, but I am too content for that. Instead, if I give it a second thought, I have JOMO, the joy of missing out or ROMO, the relief of missing out.
When there is something that really matters to you, that requires your time and energy, you are willing to let FOMO go. You know you are living life on your terms instead of trying to do everything. That’s not fearful, it’s intentional and beautiful.
I’ll keep adding to my list of things that don’t deserve my time and energy. What’s on your list?
