I enjoy that I can make time for what matters to me. I’m relieved that (for the most part) my calendar isn’t jammed with appointments and that I have free time during the day. To protect that time, I continue to edit things out of my life that I used to spend time on.
When I think, “I wish I had more time for __________,” I take a close look at what exactly I’m spending my time doing. Is it stuff I really care about or have to do at all? Or, am I on auto-pilot and not paying attention to how I’m spending time? I used to ignore these questions but now I understand how important they are.
Notice how you are spending your time. The things I’m editing out of my life may not be an issue in yours, but if there are things that aren’t serving you anymore, remove them to make time for whatever you want in your life.
9 Things I Refuse To Make Time for Anymore
1. Rewriting the past
Even if I hoped it had turned out differently, it didn’t. Even if I keep wondering what would have happened if I had said or did something else, it’s over. I don’t want to spend time running every possible scenario through my head. Onward.
I never have to waste a morning or an entire day feeling hungover. I found the ultimate hangover remedy. It’s not drinking a glass of water for every drink you have or some other slick trick. Removing alcohol prevents hangovers 100% of the time.
3. Explaining or proving myself
I’ve jumped through all the hoops and climbed all the ladders and what was promised wasn’t waiting at the top. Instead it was lonely, empty and disappointing. The only person who has to be ok with what’s going on in my life and in my heart is me. I’ll make decisions people don’t like without explanation instead of people pleasing my way into convincing myself I have it all wrong. I want everyone to be well and safe and happy but I refuse to spend any more time making sure my choices are pleasing to everyone.
4. Laundry with extra care requirements
Dry cleaning? No thank you. Hand wash only? Hard pass. I’m more than happy to wash all my clothes together (darks, lights, towels, workout clothes) in cold water and line dry them but I’m not making time for items that are too special for regular washing. P.S. I will hand wash when traveling if necessary so I don’t have to make time for the next thing.
5. Watching luggage go around and around.
I refuse to wait for my bags when traveling so I only bring what I can carry. More on how to pack here.
6. Guilt and resentment
If you feel one of those things, you likely feel the other too. Guilt is the feeling you put all on yourself and resentment is the same feeling you put on others when they don’t feel guilty enough for what they’ve done (or what you think they’ve done). Madness!
If you’ve wronged me, I still wish the best for you. I may change the way we spend time or work together but I’m done with the resentment game. It hurts too much and takes up too much emotional energy.
This is who I am and I won’t make time to pretend I’m something different. Being ourselves isn’t always comfortable but it sure feels better than faking it. I don’t make time for it anymore but I used to pretend that I was an extrovert, that I had my shit together all the time, that I could do it all with a smile on my face and lots of other things. I feel my best and make my best connections when I’m all the way me.
8. Weighing myself
It’s not that stepping on the scale takes up a bunch of time but time spent recovering from the results is time I don’t care to spend anymore. How much I weigh says nothing about me.
9. Shopping when I don’t need something
I used to go shopping when I was bored and even if I didn’t need something, I’d find something. Now when I think I want something, I consider what I already have. Isn’t that enough? Don’t let the things you want distract you from the things you have.
I used to make time for a bunch of things that weren’t serving me, but knowing how I really want to spend my time makes it easier to let go. I want time for big projects like writing books, time to watch movies or read, and time to do absolutely nothing. I want time to take care of myself and the people I love, to create things that make an impact, and to show up for my life.
I don’t anticipate ever making time for the 9 things above again but if I find myself sliding into one of these old habits (because I am human), I refuse to spend time beating myself up for it. Instead, I’ll simply come back.