These permission slips for adults are here to help you navigate life. We forget that are allowed to do these thing for ourselves! So many of us (myself included) forgot that we are allowed to write our own permission slips.
We can do what we want, live the way we want to live and do what ever it takes to take care of ourselves. We are adults with agency over our lives; our time, our energy and our decisions. Life has a way of running over us and making us forget. I wrote these permission slips for adults to remind you … to remind us.
Agency requires accountability. When we ignore that, and refuse to take accountability, auto-pilot kicks. When we are struggling, our auto-pilot response is usually to push through or do what we always do (even though that way hasn’t worked in a long time). It’s that pull to do the same thing over and over again that makes us forget to give ourselves permission to trust that we know what is best for us. And that we may need something different.
Give yourself permission!
It’s probably been a long time since you thought about permission slips, and maybe you’ve never considered writing your own. Writing a permission slip for yourself will help you take action. It’s a great reminder that you can do what you want. You don’t need to seek permission outside of yourself or validation from someone else. You do not need a committee to let you know it’s ok to cancel something during a busy week or to go to bed early. Use these 10 permission slips and write your own.
1. It’s ok to rest now (like right now).
You don’t have to earn your rest or deserve your rest and you especially don’t have to justify your rest. The first section of my book, Gentle: Rest More, Stress Less and Live the Life You Actually Want is all about rest. We’ve been so conditioned to believe that we can only rest on vacation or when we are sick but our bodies, our brains and our hearts need more consistent rest. Give yourself permission to rest.
2. Give yourself permission to change your mind.
When you hold onto to old beliefs, goals and interests just for the sake of proving you are right, you miss the opportunity to grow, to evolve and to change. Ask yourself, “Why am I holding on to this when it isn’t serving me anymore?”
3. You are allowed to say “no” even when you aren’t busy.
I’ve shared this before and I’ll keep sharing it, if only a reminder to myself. If you want to change your life, write yourself this permission slip. You are the only one who can protect your time and energy. Give yourself permission to do so.
You can say, “no” even when you aren’t busy. If you don’t, you’ll always be busy, always feel rushed and always be wondering why you don’t have time for what matters to you. If you want time to take care of yourself, to be creative, to engage in the things you actually care about, you’ll have to say, “no” more often.
4. You can hold your boundaries even if it makes other people uncomfortable.
Setting and honoring your boundaries and other people being comfortable with your boundaries are not mutually exclusive. Especially if your relationships have had no boundaries, people may not understand. You can be kind while setting your boundaries and firm when holding them.
Boundaries are not intended to control other people’s behavior (that’s not your job). Instead, they inform your future behavior or reaction in different situations. For instance, If you aren’t treating me well during a hard conversation, I will suggest that we revisit the conversation another time. I’m not saying, “You can’t do that.” I’m saying, “This is what I will do when you do that.”
5. It’s ok to make a decision or to live a life that other people don’t understand.
Give yourself permission to live the way you want to live. You can make decisions that work for you without convincing everyone else that it’s the best choice. I started doing this in the early stages of simplifying my life. When I started dressing with 33 items or less every three months and no one noticed, I realized people weren’t thinking about me or my decisions as much as I thought. That’s when I knew I could care less about what others may or may not be thinking because those thoughts usually had nothing to do with me.
6. Give yourself permission to pretend the internet is broken.
I think we all know where the biggest time sucks are. Email, Instagram, searching things, news alerts and all the browsing and scrolling (and all the outrage that goes with it). For a little while every day and a little bit longer every week, unplug. Create pockets of quiet, get bored, and embrace solitude. Track how much time you spend online each week. If you cut back 25% how much time will that give you? If you aren’t ready to fully disconnect, try removing email, browsers and social media from your phone.
7. Just because something used to be a good idea doesn’t mean it’s still a good idea.
Seriously! Give yourself permission to quit trying to finish everything and to hold on forever. You don’t have to finish that book or movie you aren’t enjoying. It’s not your responsibility to follow every path to the end. You can dump that old goal or expectation (that may not even be yours) so you have time and energy to pursue something more interesting to you. Most things have an expiration date. Treat your old, expired ideas like expired milk. Let go.
8. You can let most of it go (yep, even if it’s a gift).
There is nothing in your possession that you must keep forever, even gifts. We desperately need permission to let that sh*t go. I used to have stuff museums in my garage, attic and closets. Seriously, the only difference was that I couldn’t charge admission. I just saved and saved and saved. I even paid to move it over and over again. I thought I was supposed to keep everything forever. And still, I never felt like I had enough.
Now I give myself permission to let go the moment I realize something doesn’t add any value to my life. Even if it was expensive, even if it’s sentimental and yes, even if it’s a gift. No more stuff museums for me!
9. We are allowed to make room in between things.
Just because we can schedule back to back calls, meetings, commitments and errands doesn’t mean we should. What would be so bad about taking an extra fifteen minutes or more in between things? That space you create will give you more energy throughout the day and there may even be some left over at the end of the day. Imagine that!
In the spirit of creating this space, the next time an appointment cancels or something falls off your to-do list, let it. Don’t replace it. Embrace the space and take it for yourself. Instead of filling up all the spaces in the name of productivity or trying to get it all done, embrace extra space. It’s yours. You need it. You deserve it.
10. Give yourself permission to go to bed earlier than you want to fall asleep.
I try to go to bed an hour before I want to fall asleep. This gives me time to read or unwind. Could I spend that extra hour folding laundry or doing other things that need doing. Of course! But I refuse. If I stay up doing “one more thing” I will never sleep. There is always one more “one more thing.” So I had decide what I was willing to sacrifice and as it turns out, it wasn’t my sleep.
I’m celebrating the 1-year anniversary of my book, Gentle: Rest More, Stress Less and Live the Life You Actually Want. There is a permission slip in each chapter to encourage you to take care and be well. I hope they work for you and encourage you to write your own permission slips whenever you need them.
