After a hot chaotic summer, you might be wondering, “How do I get my life back on track?” Or, maybe you are just interested in a few simple shifts to adjust a new season or schedule.
One thing I remind myself when I feel “off track” is that it’s just part of the rhythm of life and habits. Sometimes I’m very clear, like my life is on the track and other times, I’ve derailed. When I think about how to get my life back on track, I’m usually in search of a habit or schedule reset. The trick to getting life back on track is noticing when you’ve gone off track, or when you can’t see the track at all. There might be a big wake-up call that clues you in, but usually it’s the little things. For instance:
- I know when I feel bored with my wardrobe or think I have “nothing to wear,” it has nothing to do with the clothes in my closet.
- When I have nothing to write, I know it has nothing to do with words, creativity or imagination.
- If I can’t react to someone with patience (even when that person is clearly testing my patience), it has nothing to do with them.
- When it takes me all day to do something that should take an hour, I know I’m a little off track.
When any of these things are happening, I know I am off track. Something isn’t right. I can’t always pinpoint what’s wrong, but still I move forward and consider these signs little invitations to get back on track … to come back to myself.
What does getting back on track (or being off track) really mean?
While getting back on track usually refers to coming back to good habits, for me it usually means coming back to me, to my heart. Call it alignment or grounding or shaking off whatever is weighing me down, I have to come back to me before I can come back to anything else. That means, I have to notice when something is off.
To get my life back on track, I start with the basics.
It’s always the boring basics that keep me healthy and on track. When I get off track it means I need to focus on one or more of the following things.
- spending more time moving my body
- prioritizing sleep
- finding more time to spend with friends
- making a list of positive changes I want to consider
- clearly defining or redefining boundaries
Because I simplified my life, and eliminated most of the stress in my life (not all, but most), I’m able to recognize when I’m struggling and get back on track more quickly and easily than I did before. Some of the stress I eliminated from my life includes clutter, debt, alcohol, a toxic work environment, a big house that required lots of money, time, and attention, and a wardrobe that was always reminding me I would never have enough.
Before I simplified, my go to response to getting off track was pushing through whatever I was experiencing only leading to more frustration and anxiety, and eventually exhaustion and illness.
Getting off track means something different to each of us, but if we are paying attention, we can feel it in our bones. We know when it’s happening and what we have to do to resolve it. Sometimes it feels easier to make excuses, blame busyness, stress and everything else, but by noticing the early signs, we can avoid the spiral and prevent heartache.
If you’ve been feeling like something isn’t quite right, or that you’ve lost your way or gotten off track, remind yourself about the things that help to bring you back. If you aren’t sure, try one of these 8 simple ways to get back on track.
8 things I do to get my life back on track
One thing I don’t do anymore when it’s time for a reset is feel guilty. I haven’t done anything wrong and there is no place for guilt or regret. That will only hold me back from moving forward. If you feel guilty when you need to get back on track, remember that you are trying to do better and feel better. Don’t hurt your own feelings with misplaced guilt. Instead, try one or more of these 8 ways to get your life back on track or to reset. It doesn’t take long before you feel the weight lifting. Give yourself the opportunity to live your life the way you want to live your life. You’ve got this!
1. Change your measuring system.
If you feel like something isn’t right, check in on how much you are doing. If you are overwhelmed with busyness or to-dos and tend to measure your day or your worth by how much you get done, try measuring more by what’s in your heart and less by what’s on your list. We’ve been programmed to prove our worth by our accomplishments even though we know it doesn’t work. There is always more to do so if we measure and prove like that, we will always feel like we are falling behind. Doing more things does not make you a better person. It makes you a tired person.
2. Connect with a friend.
Even if you haven’t talked for awhile, call someone who you enjoy connecting with and/or someone who lifts you up when you hear their voice. Practice being present by showing up for the conversation. Don’t multi-task, scroll Instagram, plan your next vacation or or schedule a yoga class while you are connecting with this person. Show all the way up. This will be good for your nervous system and your relationship.
Put a small package of goodies together for someone. Often thinking about someone else is the perfect way to get out of your head and back on track. This might be baked goods for a neighbor or books and chocolate for a friend who is going through a hard time. Doing something for someone else can be a good reset and a reminder of what’s important to you.
3. Disconnect from social media.
When I want to get my life back on track, I remove social media from my phone. I notice a direct correlation between how much my scrolling time goes up when I’m off track or feeling off in any way. It starts as an easy distraction but ends in mind numbing overwhelm or depletion. When you are already having trouble staying focused and feeling your your best, scrolling becomes even more problematic.
4. I dial in my boundaries when I’m figuring out how to get my life back on track.
It’s important to look at your own behavior everyday. That includes good habits, bad habits and everything we have on autopilot. Are the boundaries you have in place actually in place? Saying, “no” to yourself and others is the most powerful boundary. It may feel hard but it really is the most powerful and effective way to create more time for yourself. Creating time and space for yourself will improve your mood and energy levels.
Start by setting a time boundary for yourself to say no to things you don’t care about and things you don’t have time and energy for. Then consider pulling back even more. My friend Heidi told me, “It’s easier to take back a no than to take back a yes.” It’s a helpful phrase to remember when you practice saying things like, “No thank you.” “Not today.” “I’m not interested.” “I’m not the right person for that.”
5. Simplify everything.
When you are overwhelmed, stressed, or tired, the solution is almost always … less. Get rid of something, lots of somethings. It’s hard to give something your attention when too many things are vying for your attention. Create space, clarity and more ease in your life by staying focused on what matters and letting go of the rest.
Simplify everything from your schedule and to-dos to your workouts and meal planning. If you need help simplifying emotions, relationships or other things that feel challenging to navigate, consider seeing a therapist. The right therapist can be instrumental in helping you simplify parts of your life.
6. Make everything a little easier.
If you have a full week or feel stressed about your workload, ask yourself how you can make things easier for yourself. Is it time for a conversation with other family members about how everyone is contributing? When you are looking at meals for the week, it may be easier to eat similar meals or the same meal every night to alleviate decision fatigue. You may consider scheduling a grocery pick up instead of shopping at the store or even ordering delivery one night.
Consider automation. When you look at all of the bits and bobs of your day and life, you’ll notice there are some things that don’t need your constant attention. Schedule bill payments, turn your snail mail into email when that is an option, reschedule medical and other appointments during your existing appointment. Schedule reminders for monthly and quarterly tasks or for things you don’t do on regular basis.
7. Instead of assuming the worst, assume the best.
When we assume that everyone is against us and out for themselves, it’s harder to accomplish anything. We stop sharing our dreams and celebrating our progress in fear of someone else pushing back. Eventually we stop wanting things for ourselves and we stop believing that we have a choice in how our lives unfold. Instead, treat others as if they want the best for you and you want the best for them. Start to identify who is really in your corner and who might need a little time to work on themselves. Share and celebrate with your people and keep all of your dreams and inspiration alive and energized.
8. Be flexible when it’s time to reset.
We often associate getting back on track with motivation, willpower and discipline but the real skill to hone is flexibility. There is so much in life that is out of our control and if we push back with all of our discipline and rigidity, we will break. Create flexibility on your calendar and in your day to day life. If we can approach life’s changes with a little more flexibility, instead of breaking we can can bend instead. It’s much easier to bounce back from a bend than a break. Relaxation is key to being flexible.
How to maintain motivation and stay on track (kind of)
As I mentioned earlier we are always in an ebb and flow of good habits, feeling well, staying on track and falling off track. Instead of trying to stay on track all the time, redefine what “on track” means to you. Remember that slow progress is progress, that consistency is more important than intensity and that you can start over anytime you want (without apology or explanation). No matter what stage you are in, slow your racing mind and prioritize your mental health.
Watch the gap between falling off track and getting back on. This gap an often be filled with negative self-talk which tricks your brain into resisting getting back on track for fear that you’ll fall off again. Now that you know you will fall off and that it’s actually part of the process, speak kindly and thoughtfully. Be as gentle as possible to make room for recovery and resetting and for dreaming about the way forward.
