Struggling to say and set boundaries? These quotes will do more than just help you set and honor your boundaries. They will help you understand why setting boundaries can feel uncomfortable and why we have to honor them anyway.
Boundaries have become an essential part of how I’ve simplified my life and how I take care of my mental and physical wellbeing. These quotes about boundaries resonate with me at different times, and having them here in one place is a good reminder that talking about boundaries — and how we struggle with them — is going to make it easier for all of us to take care of ourselves and strengthen our relationships.
We need to clear up the misconceptions about boundaries so we can learn how to communicate them with grace (and without apology). When done right they can improve your relationships or identify the relationships that are healthy for you or not.
10 Quotes About Boundaries if You Struggle to Say and Set Them
Let these quotes about boundaries inspire you to start honoring the boundaries that are most important to you. If setting boundaries has been a struggle for you, be gentle as you challenge yourself to be clear about your needs. Getting comfortable with boundaries takes time and practice so don’t expect them to always feel good right away.
1. Is It Them or Is It You?
This is a tough lesson I learned slowly over the years, but once I started setting better boundaries with colleagues, loved ones, and friends, I realized that much of the emotional turmoil and stress I’d been feeling was due to my own lack of boundaries and not necessarily their behavior.
2. Why We People Please
I’ve definitely identified as a people pleaser, but I thought it was because I was “good” or “nice” or “helpful.” Once we stop people pleasing, we can set boundaries with more ease. People pleasers really struggle with boundaries and now I understand why. Once you realize you are disappointing yourself to please others, it might be easier to reset and consider better boundaries.
3. If Someone Throws a Fit …
Thanks for this reminder @peacefulmindpeacefullife. How people react to your boundaries says more about them than it does about you or the boundary itself. Don’t break your boundaries just because other people don’t like them. Your boundaries and other people liking them are not mutually exclusive. We think what we need is for other people to respect and honor our boundaries. That’s lovely when it happens but all that really has to happen is that we uphold and respect our own boundaries.
4. Your Boundaries Can Only Be As Strong As Your Belief In Your Own Self Worth
Terri Cole says, “Your boundaries can only be as strong as your belief in your own worth. When you begin to truly believe that your thoughts, emotions, limits, needs, and desires matter just as much as everyone else’s, advocating for yourself becomes a bit easier. Because boundaries aren’t just about learning what to say or how to say it. They’re built on the foundation of believing that you (yes, you!) deserve to take up space, have preferences, change your mind, and honor your capacity without guilt.
If deep down you believe everyone else’s needs should come first, setting boundaries can feel selfish, uncomfortable, or even wrong. But protecting your time, energy, and well-being isn’t selfish…it’s self-respect in action! It isn’t always easy, and it rarely happens overnight. But with small, everyday acts of honoring yourself, your boundaries can become a natural extension of your self-respect rather than something you have to fight for.”
5. Don’t Feel Stressed About Setting Boundaries
If you need to set boundaries for your own mental and/or physical wellbeing, do it. Don’t worry about who you might upset. That part isn’t up to you. When people really push back and make you feel bad about your boundaries, remember this saying, “The only people upset with you having boundaries are the ones who benefitted from you having none.”
6. Set Boundaries to Keep a Relationship
The more we honor our own boundaries, the more open we can be when others share a boundary with us. Let’s put our egos aside and consider how a boundary can improve communication and the depth of a relationship. Boundaries are not an insult. Thanks for this image, Tiny Buddha.
7. Boundaries Help You Protect Your Important Resources
The reason I don’t give my “all” anymore is that I save some for me. You are allowed to protect your time, energy and attention. In fact, you are the only one who will do that for you. A big part of taking care of yourself is setting and honoring the boundaries that protect those precious resources. Do whatever it takes. Your health and quality of life depends on it.
Tip: To protect more of your time and energy, declutter these bad habits.
8. You Can Always Say No
Just a light-hearted reminder from @hellosunshine that you can say, “no” anytime you want to. You can say, “no” to protect your time and energy. You can say, “no” when you don’t feel like doing something and you can say, “no” even when you aren’t busy.
9. Remember What a Boundary Really Is
Setting a boundary isn’t about controlling other people’s behavior. That is really out of our hands. We do have agency over our own behavior though. The boundaries you set are more about what you will do, not about what other people do.
10. One of the most important boundary lessons
Hazel Satija reminds us to stop carrying the guilt of someone else’s disappointment when we sent a boundary. She says, “You are allowed to protect your peace, to honor your needs, and make choices that feel right for you, even when they are not what someone else would have wanted.”
