Happiness is how you feel but your joy is an event. Joy is here for you, but when your calendar is all booked up and your to-do list reads more like a novel, you will not be available for joy.
This is how to get the most out of your joy
Instead of holding on to things you don’t care about and projects that exhaust you, turn your focus towards intuition (trust yourself), love and gratitude. Instead of keeping a tight grip on negative (but useless) emotions like guilt, regret and resentment, really think about how you want to invest your limited time and energy.
1. Notice joy. When you are experiencing your joy, really notice it. Give joy your time and attention and it will fill your heart.
2. Let go of the things that stand between you and your joy. These might be things that drag you down, hurt your heart or keep you distracted and exhausted.
3. Simplify. Simplify. Simplify. Simplifying your life will help you bring the little joys to light.
Sometimes we hold on to things that don’t serve us because we want to be “good” and we’ve been taught that quitting or giving up is “bad” — but what would it look like if we stopped judging and started trusting ourselves to know what’s best for us? What’s so good about being good anyway?
7 Things Standing Between You and Your Joy
Identify the things that get in the way of you experiencing joy. Even during challenging times, maybe especially during challenging times, you get to experience joy.
Author, Cyndie Spiegel first began taking note of microjoys during the most difficult year of her life—when she experienced back-to-back unprecedented and devastating losses—and she found that these fleeting moments of hope helped her move through each day with a semblance of comfort and a lot more joy. Learn more in her book, Microjoys, finding hope especially when life is not ok.
1. Piles of clutter stand between you and your joy
Instead of focusing on clearing the clutter from your entire house, work on one drawer, one closet, one room, or one surface at time. Being free from clutter allows you to see what’s important in your drawers, and in your life. Make room for joy.
2. Toxic relationships block your joy
Holding on to someone who always brings you down may be good for them, but not for you. The time you spend with others should inspire you, not depress you. Remember there is a difference between helping someone who is going through a tough time and tolerating a toxic relationship. Once a relationship becomes damaging to the way you act, feel or think, it is time to let go or rethink your rules of engagement.
3. Unhealthy measurement systems will steal your joy
Using numbers on the scale or numbers of likes on social feeds or even tracking how many things you cross off your to do list is no way to measure your self worth. Not even for a second. If you notice that any of these numbers change the way you feel about yourself or affect your mood, stop. Give your scale away, delete social media apps from your phone and stop measuring the quality of your day by the quantity of your accomplishments.
4. Caring too much about what others think does not inspire joy.
Caring less about what other people think is an underrated form of self care. What would you do if you cared a little bit less about what they thought, what their expectations were, and who you thought you were supposed to be for everyone else?
What would you make if you weren’t worried about sharing it and hearing anyone’s thoughts on your art? Who would you be and what would your life be like if you trusted yourself first and the rest was just background noise that you could turn down as needed?
Usually it’s not what people think, but what we think they will think that keeps us doing what we should. All that shoulding is a big wall standing between you and your joy.
5. For more joy, let go of old goals that don’t fit you or your life anymore
Letting go of goals and dreams in the name of joy can be the most challenging of all. As our lives change, we change, and things that seemed so important years ago may slowly fade away. Instead of beating yourself up for not achieving your old goals, focus on your new dreams and develop goals or bucket lists that reflect who you are right now.
6. Anxiety doesn’t make it easy to welcome joy.
Find peace when you are stressed and overwhelmed. Calm anxiety with some of these weird ideas (that can actually help). When you are feeling better, consider a low barrier of entry to joy like a simple pleasure. What is something really small you can do to harness joy. Here are 37 simple pleasures that can help.
7. There is no space for joy when you are overdoing it.
Do less. Way less. This is how to make space for joy. In the spirit of creating this space, the next time an appointment cancels or something falls off your to-do list, let it. Don’t replace it. Embrace the space and take it for yourself. Instead of filling up all the spaces in the name of productivity or trying to get it all done, embrace extra space. It’s yours. You need it. You deserve it.
Notice your joy and identify the things standing between you and your joy. Then let them go or move them. It won’t always be easy, but the joy that is waiting for you is worth it.
