10+ Gentle Ways to Break Up with Your Phone (Without Missing It)

Limit your phone usage to reclaim your attention, your time, and even your energy. Use these 10 gentle recommendations to break up with your phone and you’ll wonder why you didn’t do it sooner.

How does excessive phone usage affect us?

It might be time to break up with your phone, at least for a little while every day. Do you ever feel like you are spending too much time on your phone? Recently, I slipped into an unhealthy habit—doom scrolling the news on my phone. Overall, I’m mindful of how much time I spend online, the type of content I consume, and I take frequent digital breaks. However, I’m not perfect. Sometimes I fall back into old patterns (like doom scrolling).

Dr. Sahib Khalsa, a neuroscientist and psychiatrist at the Laureate Institute for Brain Research, explained in a recent interview that “technology can distract us from noticing important signals from the brain — and it can also be the source of our distress. We can scroll for hours, not paying attention to how tired we are, or how unhappy scrolling makes us feel.”

Dr. Khalsa’s explanation resonated with me. When I find myself doom scrolling, I don’t always notice my distress. I forget to pay attention to my body, my feelings, and neglect my real life.

10+ gentle ways to break up with your phone (and not miss it)

When I am spending too much time on my phone, as soon as I notice, I revisit these gentle tips that enable me to disconnect from screens and reconnect with real life. Sometimes just one of them will remind me what’s important and make it easier to trade my screen time for more being in my life time. I hope the tips below benefit you, too! 

5. Turn off your phone

There are many productivity apps that can help you track your phone usage, limit interruptions, and more. If an app helps you decrease your phone usage, use them. I’m a fan of a very simple app, and that’s turning off my phone. The world won’t end if I miss a call or a text. Plus, turning off my phone helps me pay attention to my surroundings.

For instance, on a recent flight I didn’t look at my phone. Instead, I watched the sunset. The sky was filled with vibrant orange and red tones. If I’d been taking notes on my phone or looking at my photo library, I would have missed the sunset! 

If completely powering off your phone isn’t an option, there are also physical devices available, such as Brick. Brick works by connecting to your phone via an app and locks you out of just a few hand-selected apps for a set amount of time.

6. Avoid walking and texting on your phone

In the past, I would take walks outside and text friends at the same time. Now I avoid the activity because I tripped (and almost fell). The incident woke me up. If I’m walking, I pay attention to what’s going on around me and my phone stays in my pocket or purse. Unless, I pause to take a photograph.

7. Engage in phone-free activities

Some of my favorite phone free activities include journaling, reading books, cycling, and navigating a new city without constantly looking at my maps app. Whereas, friends like gardening, playing musical instruments, or junk journaling. For instance, one of my friends likes to collage in the evenings because it helps her unwind. She told me that “her phone was not a relaxation device.”

8. Put your phone to bed first

My new evening routine includes putting my phone to bed first. Then I put myself to bed. Typically, I charge my phone in the kitchen. That way I’m not tempted to check it while I’m reading in bed. Next on my list is getting an old school alarm clock. 

9. Plan face-to-face gatherings

Recently, I experienced wonderful face-to-face gatherings with friends and co-workers. The context for each gathering was different, but they had similarities. For example, at each gathering we avoided using our phones. Instead, we were in the moment with one another. It made the interactions even more meaningful. When you are together with loved ones, I recommend hiding your phone. Also, try doing phone-free activities like dinners, game nights, or outdoor outings. Be together, instead of being alone together. 

10. Start a new hobby & pay attention 

Start a new hobby that doesn’t involve your phone. You could paint, write in your journal, learn to cook, or try a new sport. When you are engaged in your hobby, remember to pay attention. Author Catherine Price said “The first thing we need to acknowledge is that our lives are what we pay attention to. Indeed, our attention is the most valuable resource that we have. Think about it. We only experience what we pay attention to. Your choice of what to pay attention to in any given moment might not seem like a big deal, but taken together, these decisions are deeply consequential.”

11. Make your phone boring

A surprisingly quick and effortless way I’ve learned to spend less time on my phone is to set it to greyscale mode (sometimes labeled as “bedtime mode”). When every video, photo, and text I see is displayed in shades of grey, I lose interest quickly in whatever I was looking up and set my phone aside.

Bonus tip: You can also uninstall the phone apps that you use most often and access them on your computer instead. For example, Instagram is accessible on both your phone and your computer. I’ve found that scrolling through the vertical photos and videos on a horizontal computer screen feels clunkier, which encourages me to exit out of Instagram sooner than if I were scrolling through my feed on my phone.

12. Set achievable goals

Once a habit — like continually checking your phone throughout the day — becomes part of your routine, it can be tricky to break or change your behavior patterns. Instead of setting strict rules with yourself about when and how often you can use your phone or breaking up with it cold turkey, set a more manageable goal to get the habit-changing process started. For example, set yourself the goal of reducing your phone usage by 15 minutes each day for the next week.