One word that often comes to mind when thinking about the holidays is more. There is more giving, more getting, more doing, spending, having, loving, falling behind, catching up, and getting run down.
There is also more opportunity for comfort and joy, and love and connection, but only if we make room for it. Take time now to do some intentional decluttering, so the more of the holidays doesn’t turn into too much.
Use this holiday decluttering guide to make room for more peace, love, light, comfort and joy during the holidays and anytime.
Home
A pre-holiday sweep will make room for holiday decor, winter boots, and other seasonal stuff. Put the ornaments and other holiday stuff you decorate with through a decluttering filter too. Just because you’ve saved something for decades doesn’t mean you are obligated to keep it forever. If you aren’t displaying it, or don’t like it, donate it. If you want more decluttering direction try …
Schedule
How do you want to spend the holiday season? If silent nights sound more inviting than party hopping, be socially selective. You aren’t required to say yes to every invitation. Look at your regular calendar too. Build in time to take care of yourself, and don’t overschedule. Leave room for holiday magic. White space in November and December = magic.
If you struggle with busyness, try …
Heart
The holidays can trigger heavy hearts, and put a spotlight on struggling relationships. If your heart already feels heavy, seek ways to lighten it up. Journaling, daily walks, meditating, engaging in difficult conversations and even asking for professional help may all be part of the treatment plan.
My close friend and Mind-Body Therapist Rachel Shanken recommends the following exercise to feed your heart a little light:
Set a timer for 3 minutes. Sit tall. Close your eyes and bring your hands to your heart. Start by noticing the sensation of your hands against your chest. Take a big breath right into the spot underneath where your hands are, feeling the breath inflate your chest. As you continue to breathe, visualize a warm white light surrounding your heart and radiating out into your hands. With each inhale imagine the soft white light expanding around your heart and shining throughout your whole chest. With each exhale visualize that same soft light radiating from your heart back into your hands. When the timer rings, notice what has shifted inside you.
You’ll also love Rachel’s 15 Body-Mind Fast Facts, Fixes,and Tricks to make your life better. Some take even less than 3 minutes.
Mind
If your mind starts to spin with visions of sugar plums and all the things you have to make, bake, ship, buy, and do, take a big deep breath. A consistent mindfulness practice will help you put things in perspective. Calm.com offers a variety of guided, timed, and open meditation practices including Loving Kindness meditations, body scans, and sleep stories (my new favorite thing).
If you aren’t sure if meditation is for you, check out …
Money
There is so much pressure to overspend during the holidays but resist. Don’t give out of obligation, comparison, or fear about what people will think. Respect your budget, and your heart when you give and spend over the next two months and beyond.
If you don’t have enough, and need a hand or have enough and want to lend a hand, check out Together Rising’s Holiday Hands.
Digital
You are about to get an email from any business who has your email address. Even if you have never heard from them before, their gift guides, reminders of how to spend your money (in case you forgot) and lots of other festive messages are about to take over your inbox. Unsubscribe, filter out, or simply delete any message that isn’t of immediate interest.
To further resist digital overwhelm, set some parameters for yourself and consider going internet-lite for the holidays.
Traditions and obligations
Hold onto the traditions that warm your heart, but let go of the others, especially the ones you resent or find exhausting. Just ask yourself, “Does this fill my heart or empty it?” Give yourself permission to engage in the holidays in ways that fill your heart and soul.
I share what I recommend on how to approach the holidays with more intention in this interview with Jess Lively.
You
Just because everything is crazy around you, doesn’t mean everything has to be crazy within you. One quote that often reminds me of this truth is from Pema Chödrön, “You are the sky. Everything else – it’s just the weather.” Commit to just a few of these 30 simple ways to take care of yourself over the holidays. Take care of yourself. It’s the best gift you can give yourself and everyone you love.
If you have a tip that may help others approach the holidays with more intention, please share in the comment section below.
jomar says
November 2, 2016 at 2:29 pmPlease do not write in the books you give away – that makes it impossible for the recipient to keep the book moving along. Write a note on a piece of paper and put it inside the book and encourage people to read the book and pass it on to another book lover. I volunteer at a thrift shop and it is hard to get rid of the books that people donate that have names, notes, etc. plus then your information is out there.
Megan says
November 5, 2016 at 5:54 amI disagree. I have volunteered at and shopped at our school’s huge book fair for years. I love picking up a book, and seeing a Christmas greeting fromAuntie or Nana etc to someone. Feels like there is some history to the book and it is fun to read the messages! I do remove the address labels I put in my own books before I donate them, Auntie Kate is one thing full name and address is something else.
Amy@MoreTimeThanMoney says
November 5, 2016 at 12:19 pmI’ve bought books with others names in before, and kids clothing. Although I could see how it would put people off.
Shannon says
November 2, 2016 at 4:02 pmWill you be offering the 31 Days of Gifts You So Deserve again this year?
Courtney Carver says
November 2, 2016 at 5:30 pmYes Shannon!
Shannon says
November 2, 2016 at 8:11 pmLooking forward to it- thank you!
fiona says
November 2, 2016 at 6:06 pmThe best thing we did was stop all adult presents in our family for birthday and Christmas. It has removed the struggle to find something or the endless passing of cheques from one person to another. Three years on and I don’t regret it or the pressure to write a list of things I wanted.
Jane says
November 2, 2016 at 8:42 pmI would love to do this with my family too but they are very reluctant. I hope we get there one day.
Mamadog says
November 2, 2016 at 11:54 pmI love gifting to family, I could never stop. Some of the adults in our family wouldn’t get anything if not for our exchange and everyone likes to get something no matter how old you are. My Nannie use to give something to everyone and she had 8 children, their spouses and a bizzilion grand and great grand children. It was never about what you got it was always about the thought. She didn’t have much but she made sure everyone had something. The focus has shifted today…. That’s where the issues lie …it has become about what you get not the thought. I don’t have a lot of money either so I shop at thrift stores all yr picking up things for family and friends not just because I have to give them something but because it’s something they would LOVE. Every gift I give lets the person know that I truly took the time and thought of them ….whether it cost 1.00 or 100.00. It’s always about the thought not the dollar amount or the actual gift itself and that has made the difference in our lives.
Mel says
November 2, 2016 at 10:17 pmI start saving early for holiday gifts by putting away a small amount of money each week. My family does lists, sometimes with web links, to make sure what is received will be used / appreciated. We’re also shifting to more donations and experiences as several people realise they don’t need or want stuff. My family lives across 3 continents so for a while there were attempts to fit 1-2 years worth of family dinners and organised events into a small time period, resulting in overload and everyone being miserable. I now send out a pre-departure set of rules/expectations and availability. It’s much more relaxed and enjoyable for everyone not sprinting from one organised event to the next.
t says
November 3, 2016 at 10:22 amI don’t give many holiday gifts. I have a brother who lives alone and doesn’t have much extra money, so I will always ask if there is anything he needs. I gift my Dad a box of honeybell oranges from Whiteflower Farm. I get a few books for nieces and nephews. There are a few other relatives/close friends that I give the same gift to every year – an amaryllis bulb kit.
Lisa says
November 4, 2016 at 12:27 pmI love practical gifts. These are the best gifts. My sister gave me four boxes of Bigelow Tea one year and I loved it! Honeybell oranges sound like another great gift.
Juhli says
November 3, 2016 at 3:48 pmWe have shifted to only gifting immediate family and sending our love to everyone else. Our sons and DIls send us wish lists so we can get them something they really want and we do the same so they aren’t running around looking for a fit or wasting money on something we don’t want. It takes the joy out of unwrapping the perfect gift but also eliminates the frustration of getting something that you will never use that cost the giver their hard earned money. My favorite Christmas thing is when DH and I drive around looking at the lights/decorations on other people’s houses. One more holiday season far from family and then we will be back near them all so it will be about sharing time together.
seattle motivational speaker says
November 3, 2016 at 4:36 pmThis post is just like a birthday gift for me!
Thanks a lot, #Courtney_Carver
Amy@MoreTimeThanMoney says
November 5, 2016 at 12:23 pmGreat timing. I am just starting to think of holidays now (in New Zealand so no Thanksgiving). My plan is to be really intentional and set out what I want to get out of the holidays. From there to establish my limits and use them to resist getting caught up in all the craziness.