When Your Work Life is Destroying Your Good Life
Before I left a 20 year career in advertising and marketing, I had many days where I thought things like:
- I’m at the end of my rope.
- I’ll never make it through the day.
- This will never get done.
- I’m too busy to function.
- I have nothing left to give.
Dramatic? Perhaps. Honest? Yes.
So I stayed up late, worked through lunch and kept piling it on. I knew I could do it all. I was proud of doing it all. While I may have been able to do it all at work, on reflection, I can see that other things and areas of my life were quietly suffering.
When you fall out of love with your work, or your job is wearing you down, the destruction is often so gradual, that you can’t respond to it. You know something isn’t right, but it doesn’t have a name or a solution. When you start thinking or saying words like exhausted, trapped, and hopeless, it’s time for a change.
Today, while I run my own microbusiness and have the enormous blessing of choosing creative projects I love and working with people I love, I still have days (like today) where everything seems to be happening at once. This morning, I looked at my list of things to do and felt the pressure of a crazy day approaching.
With several projects in different stages and a trip to Austin tomorrow morning, I am feeling a little overwhelmed. The way I see it, I have two choices:
- I can work all day and into the night and try to wrap everything up before I leave tomorrow morning.
- I can remember why I walked away from a regular paycheck, work for a few hours, and then take my daughter to lunch.
Both choices require compromise. With option 1, I will make small sacrifices in health, time with family and the quality of my work. Maybe no one will notice, but I’ll know. With option 2, I’ll compromise my deadlines and perhaps some free time over the weekend.
If you work for someone else, you might not have the same choices, but you do have options. If you are overwhelmed or unhappy at work, think about incorporating a few of the following strategies:
For a better work life …
Leave the office.
If you work in a structured office setting that is a high stress environment, leave the office during your work day. Walk away from your desk and go outside for a 15 minute walk. Fresh air and movement will relieve some of your tension.
Stand while you work.
Create a make-shift stand up desk so you have an alternative to sitting all day. You don’t need anything fancy. My standing desk is pictured above.
Standing will improve your health and may even increase your creativity and productivity. As Rob Schwartz, chief creative officer of ad agency TBWA\Chiat\Day LA suggests, “You get more done when you’re standing up,” Schwartz says. “When you’re sitting, you’re naturally recessive, you’re receiving, when you’re standing, you’re ready to do something.”
Un-commiserate.
If you don’t like your job, you probably work with people who are unhappy at work too. It’s nice to know you aren’t alone, but break the habit of complaining and commiserating. Misery loves company and the more company you have, the more miserable you will be.
Journal your frustration.
If your boss treats you like crap, or you have to sit through mindless meetings, write about it privately. There is hope in ink on paper.
Ask about an alternative schedule.
Switching your schedule up can have a big impact on your work flow and attitude towards your job. Ask about leaving an hour early or starting an hour late. If you don’t ask, you’ll never know.
Plan your escape.
Maybe you aren’t in a position to walk away from a stressful job, but you can start something new. When I started this site, I was still working full-time and dreading every Monday morning meeting. Starting something new, while initially more work, gave me something to look forward to and be excited about. One year and five months later, I lost my job on purpose to do work I love. I’m so glad I didn’t wait another day or month or year to get started.
Life is too good to stay at a bad job for too long. While there are unloveable tasks in every career, when you start to do work you really care about, it feels less like a job and more like a piece of the good life you so deserve.
If you were wondering about my dilemma above, I picked option 2 and took my daughter out to lunch. I’m delivering this post a little late and there will be a few things I won’t get to today. On the upside, I’ll be refreshed and excited for my trip tomorrow and will get back to my work rested, motivated and creatively charged.
Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed this post, please subscribe to Be More with Less and connect with me.
P.S. One of my projects in progress is a new version of the Goodblog Project (a virtual workshop to help you do work you love) coming this May. You can sign up here to be the first to know about the upcoming changes and offerings. If you don’t want to wait until May, learn more about how to work me when you are ready.
20 Responses to “When Your Work Life is Destroying Your Good Life”
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Oh Ms. Courtney…I needed this today. If you could be the typewriter for my brain, this is EXACTLY how I felt a month ago when I resigned. Thank you!!!
Heather, so many people are in the same position, but when you are feeling worn down and defeated, it’s a challenge to harness the motivation to make a change. Congrats on taking a really big step!
Thank you. I have even panicked yet, which means I did the right thing. I know it will all fall into place. I am refusing to compromise just to get a paycheck anymore and I have already had 2 interviews, 3rd pending. Thank you for all your support.
Courtney – you have no idea how valuable this post is. I just forwarded it to 5 friends who do nothing but complain about work! Thanks for what you do!
Thank you Denise! I really appreciate you sharing my work. xo
Courtney:
I am sure you can tell by the title of my blog how I feel about doing the work you love in our finite time on Earth! This post was, indeed, well-timed.
I have been “planning my escape” for 10 months. 4 to go… I agree with you that a plan is what is necessary. That said, if you do great work (which you should do even if you hate your job), don’t be surprised if your boss tries to keep you by making accommodations.
Great writing as always, Courtney.
Wow Tony! 4 months is right around the corner. Can’t wait to hear about your leap.
Thanks, Courtney! I. Can’t. Wait.
Again, I have been planning and plotting. Funny, though..this is before I started writing, which has been another beautiful wrinkle. The fact that I will be able to document the journey for all to read is very cool (whether I have an audience or not!).
I’ll keep you posted. Thanks for continuing to inspire me
Thanks Courtney for posting this.
I currently work in marketing / advertising and it is a very fast paced (and draining) world. I try very hard to unplug when I’m away and I love going outside when the weather is nice. I’ve come to the same conclusion that you have and I doubt that I will be working in this industry in the long run.
I hope to continue improving my technical skills and then move into another industry when the time is right.
Omg! This is my work life in a nutshell and how I am feeling about so much in my life as of late. Thank you ! You have really given me an idea to start in changing things.
I did leave my job, and I have never regretted it! My health was tanking, my marriage was mediocre, and I was not exercising or eating very healthy. My whole life changed. I began exercising every day, eating healthy, and best of all my marriage became what we always wanted. Now I get to be with my husband every day. We run a business together, so we never have co-worker issues. We are so happy, and I wish that for everyone. If you’re waiting for something to miraculously happen, please don’t wait and don’t settle. You deserve better! It can happen if you make it!
Courtney, enjoy Austin. It is my favorite city. You’ll be right down the street (I-10) from us. We live in Houston. Perhaps you’ll hear me yelling, Go get ‘em, Courtney!!!!
It is funny how many blog posts come to a lot of us exactly when we need it. I’ve been feeling slumpy about my day job at the moment, wanting to devote all my time and life to writing. But I remind myself to be patient. If I’m patient right now, I can eventually do the things I want to do – travel, write, yoga and be location independent, and financially free. Here’s to all of us who are looking towards the Good Life.
Courtney
I was laid off from a job in October. I felt much like you did; overworked, stressed, neglecting health and family. The first time I saw my Dr. after the lay off he said that he had been trying to get me to leave that job for the past five years. He was happy that someone finally pushed me along.I did not have a plan as you did for what I will do next,
but I do know that whatever I do, I will no longer allow the job to consume me.
In January I spent a month in Seattle with my daughter’s family when she had her second baby. I would never have been allowed this time if I was still in the job I had.
We are living frugally but it is worth it.
I spent most of my 20′s training for a career that burned me out by the time I was 40. Since I quit last year, my physical and mental health have improved. Even thinking about going back to the job makes my whole body tense.
I have felt a great sense of failure, but I had to let go in order to move on and get healthier. While it is nice to know I am not alone, it is sad too that so many people are enduring negative work situations. I know the toll it can take.
Courtney, I followed in your same career footsteps! I’m a former advertising creative director and marketing director, and I like my new life as a blogger so much better!
Austin? That’s interesting I live in Sugar Land. Anyways. Great advice, I have my own little zen-system, as simple as it is, it is probably too much to explain in this comment box. I love the advice, keep up the great work!
A beautiful, thought provoking piece on life balance. And very timely too. Thanks Courtney.
Thank you so much for this post and to all the comments that were shared as well! I resigned from a marketing position yesterday and am so excited about what the future holds. No more sitting in three hour meetings deciding which object in the room would be most effective at poking my own eyes out.
Congratulations on making the leap. All the best with your future direction!
I can’t tell you how glad I am that I stumbled across this blog and this post in particular today. It’s exactly where I am. The phrase “Life is too good to stay at a bad job for too long” hit home. Renewing my drive to create and execute an escape plan. Thanks so much for this post.