We’ve all been stuck in the worry trap at one time or another. While you can’t declutter worry from your countertops, it is a form of clutter … emotional clutter.

Like so many of the thoughts and emotions we experience, worry becomes habit and then a trap. The worry trap keeps us in an endless loop of what ifs like …

• What if I had done this differently?
• What if they are thinking about what I said or did?
• What if this happens?
• What if this doesn’t happen?
• What if I fail, or succeed, or love, or lose?

I’ve written about my multiple sclerosis diagnosis before and the changes I’ve made to live well with MS, but I haven’t really shared how worried I was at first. At one appointment, when I couldn’t stand up and close my eyes without falling over, my neurologist said, “You are standing on the edge of a cliff.” He went on to explain that if I ignored the symptoms and test results, I’d likely go downhill quickly but taking action could result in a completely different outcome. People told us we should think about remodeling our home, or consider moving somewhere without stairs so when my MS progressed, I could still get around.

And so I worried.

I worried about falling off the cliff. I worried that I’d wake up blind. I worried that I wouldn’t be able to feel my feet hit the floor when I got out of bed. I worried I wouldn’t be able to take care of my daughter or hike with my family.

It’s been more than 14 years since I chose to take action and back away from the edge of the cliff. I found my way out of the worry trap. Since then I’ve ridden my bike hundreds of miles, climbed mountains, skied down them, and traveled around the world. Today I can stand up, close my eyes and feel steady. Recent MRI scans show no MS progression. If I had spent the last 14 years worrying about my decline, I believe I would have declined. And if I was caught in the worry trap, I never would have changed my life.

Worry keeps us up at night and weighs us down. Worry encourages fear and makes us tired, cranky and scared. Worry doesn’t fix anything. Worry is a trap.

The Worry Trap: 10 simple ways to break free

1. Be present.
Worry is always about the past or the future. It’s never about now. Be in the now while it’s happening and unfolding. Experience it. Engage in it. Don’t let worry distract you from another present moment.

Being present doesn’t happen naturally. It takes practice. Practice daily by sitting quietly and being present for 10 minutes. Try an app like Calm or Headspace to help.

2. Write out the worry.
When you worry, you can think about it over and over again and get all caught up in the trap or you can write it down. When you see it on paper, it isn’t as mysterious or big anymore. Name your worry. Get it off your mind and onto paper. If you don’t like to write, make a quick audio recording about your worry. When you’re finished, listen to it and then ceremoniously delete it. Goodbye worry.

3. Have fewer things to worry about.
Simplicity helps you worry less. I used to worry about making ends meet, then I started working on fewer ends. With less around, there is less worry. Be discerning about what you choose to surround yourself with. Hold on to what matters. Let go of the rest.

4. Take action.
What can you do about your worry? Make a list of 10 things you can do. If there is an action you can take, take it. If there is nothing you can do, see #2.

5. Ask for help.
If you can’t see through your worry, if it’s eating you up on the inside and you can not let it go, ask someone you love for help or join a community of people who want to help. Try the MindBodyWise Living Room.

6. Know what’s best for you.
Sometimes we worry because of what other people say, or even because of what we think they think. Worry less about their opinions by knowing your heart. I find great inspiration and guidance from hearing other people’s stories, talking to friends, and listening to advice, but when I want to know what’s best for me, I put my hands on my heart and turn to the person who knows me best.

7. Move your body.
Take a walk. Go to a yoga class. Turn on your favorite music and dance around your house. Climb a mountain. Literally shake off the worry by moving.

8. Read a book.
Sometimes all it takes to get out of the trap is a little distraction. Shut down the internet and read a book. Get lost in a love story, or read something that transports you to a different time and place. If you can’t remove your worries, remove yourself from them.

9. Help someone else.
Get out of your head. Stop thinking about yourself. Volunteer locally, make sandwiches for your homeless community, or donate to a cause you believe in. The simplest way to stop thinking about yourself is to think about someone else.

10. Come back to love.
When you feel trapped by worry, come back to love. When you notice you are in the worry trap, think one good loving thought. Back burner the worry and think about who you love, what you love, and how you love. Shift your thoughts.

Apply these recommendations to your usual worries and the worries we’ve experienced over the last several weeks and months. The practice is the same.

If you are stuck in the worry trap, take the steps necessary to break free. You deserve to lay your head on your pillow at the end of the day and rest easy. You deserve to engage in ordinary moments during the day that result in laughter, new ideas, and long-lasting memories. You deserve to be free and only you can choose to make that happen.

P.S. For extra inspiration, direction and support to let go of worry and simplify your life, join the Simplicity Space. We open at the end of the month. Get on the waiting list here.

2020 has been a mixture of pain, goodness, fear and hope. Every year has those ingredients but this year, all emotions were heightened. The falls were harder and the climbs felt slower.

And …

This was the year we had a collective wake up call. We began to consider what really mattered. We really missed people we love who we don’t live with and spent way more time with the people we do live with. We helped each other. We annoyed each other. We Zoomed each other. We loved each other.

One of the highs of this year for me in 2020 was this community. You created space on your bookshelves, in your inboxes and Instagram feeds for me to inspire simplicity in your lives and you turned around and inspired me right back. We laughed together, cried together, raised money together, got closer to each other and did our best to lift people up. I’m grateful we have each other.

As a special thank you, here are 14 stories (and such) of hope and goodness.

1. The year in good news

2. A beautiful tradition

3. On being patient

4. Mood boosters

5. Love in the time of quarantine

6. 20 good news stories from 2020

7. This love song

8. Some bunny loves you

9. Delilah

10. Let people be who they are

11. Listen to a random forest

12. Feel good yoga

13. Heartwarming habits

14. Be the sun

When you are going through pain and fear, hold on to the moments of goodness and hope and share those moments to encourage the best in all of us.

xo,

Courtney

Read these books to support a new year’s resolution or a change you want to make anytime of year. I read books to encourage simplicity, sobriety, anti-racism, boundaries, health and entrepreneurship because those things are important to me.

Whenever I’m making a change in my life, I intentionally surround myself with support and encouragement for what I’m working on. From books, to podcasts and who I follow on social media, I create an environment where change can thrive.

These books, whether writing or reading them made a difference in my life and I believe they will make a difference in your life too.

10 Books To Encourage Simplicity, Sobriety, Anti-Racism and Boundaries

1. Soulful Simplicity: I wrote this book! Soulful Simplicity is the story of how I used my multiple sclerosis diagnosis as a catalyst for change, and how simplicity was the heart of every tiny step I took. You can learn more, download a sample chapter and even order signed copies here.

2. We Are The Luckiest by Laura McKowen.

This heart-breaking, heart-warming book is a must read if you are curious about drinking less. McKowen addresses issues such as facing facts, the question of AA, and other people’s drinking. Without sugarcoating the struggles of sobriety, she relentlessly emphasizes the many blessings of an honest life, one without secrets and debilitating shame.

3. So, You Want to Talk About Race by Ijeoma Oluo.

This book helped me to better understand and be more aware of white privilege, race, and racism.  In So You Want to Talk About Race, Ijeoma Oluo guides readers of all races through subjects ranging from intersectionality and affirmative action to “model minorities” in an attempt to make the seemingly impossible possible: honest conversations about race and racism, and how they infect almost every aspect of American life.

4. Big Friendship by Aminatou Sow and Ann Friedman.

After reading this, I wanted to call all of my best girlfriends and tell them how much they mean to me. An inspiring and entertaining testament to the power of society’s most underappreciated relationship, Big Friendship will invite you to think about how your own bonds are formed, challenged, and preserved. It is a call to value your friendships in all of their complexity. Actively choose them. And, sometimes, fight for them.

5. The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron.

I experienced the biggest shifts in my life, work and overall creativity thanks to this book. It’s one of the few books I still own. Julia Cameron’s novel approach guides readers in uncovering problems areas and pressure points that may be restricting their creative flow and offers techniques to free up any areas where they might be stuck, opening up opportunities for self-growth and self-discovery.

6. Loving What Is by Byron Katie.

“The Work” is simply four questions that, when applied to a specific problem, enable you to see what is troubling you in an entirely different light. As Katie says, “It’s not the problem that causes our suffering; it’s our thinking about the problem.” Contrary to popular belief, trying to let go of a painful thought never works; instead, once we have done The Work, the thought lets go of us. At that point, we can truly love what is, just as it is.

7. Untamed by Glennon Doyle.

I never want Glennon Doyle books to end which I believe to be the highest compliment you can give a book. Soulful and uproarious, forceful and tender, Untamed is both an intimate memoir and a galvanizing wake-up call. It is the story of how one woman learned that a responsible mother is not one who slowly dies for her children, but one who shows them how to fully live.

It is the story of navigating divorce, forming a new blended family, and discovering that the brokenness or wholeness of a family depends not on its structure but on each member’s ability to bring her full self to the table. And it is the story of how each of us can begin to trust ourselves enough to set boundaries, make peace with our bodies, honor our anger and heartbreak, and unleash our truest, wildest instincts so that we become women who can finally look at ourselves and say: There She Is.

Untamed shows us how to be brave. As Glennon insists: The braver we are, the luckier we get.

8. Sabbath by Wayne Muller. This isn’t the first time I’ve recommended this book and it won’t be the last. This book shows us how to find rest, renewal and delight in our busy lives. I’ve quoted it in my books and it always encourages me to take a deep breath and slow down.

We need not even schedule an entire day each week. Sabbath time can be a Sabbath afternoon, a Sabbath hour, a Sabbath walk. With wonderful stories, poems, and suggestions for practice, Muller teaches us how we can use this time of sacred rest to refresh our bodies and minds, restore our creativity, and regain our birthright of inner happiness.

9. Set Boundaries, Find Peace by Nedra Glover Tawwab.

I follow Nedra on Instagram and have no doubt that this book will, as the subtitle promises, help us reclaim ourselves.

Set Boundaries, Find Peace presents simple-yet-powerful ways to establish healthy boundaries in all aspects of life. Rooted in the latest research and best practices used in cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), these techniques help us identify and express our needs clearly and without apology–and unravel a root problem behind codependency, power struggles, anxiety, depression, burnout, and more.

10. Project 333. Yep! I wrote this one too. If you want to create space, time and other precious resources in your closet and every other area of your life, this book and challenge are ready to help. Once we finally release ourselves from the cyclical nature of consumerism and focus less on our shoes and more on our self-care, we not only look great we feel great– and we can see a clear path to make other important changes in our lives that reach far beyond our closets.

With tips, solutions, and a closet-full of inspiration, this life-changing minimalist manual shows readers that we are so much more than what we wear, and that who we are and what we have is so much more than enough.

Read these books for encouragement, inspiration and practical ideas to help you make powerful changes in your life.

P.S. If you are starting Project 333 in 2020, follow along with this 1:1 coaching session to make your capsule wardrobe list with ease. 

I love a gentle transition from one year to the next and linger in that transition twice a year, in December and again in June when I celebrate my own brand new year.

Instead of holding onto expectations of ourselves or others and keeping a firm grip on goals, it feels healthier to create a few times a year to check in, assess, edit, and move forward. Being more intentional about what we want (and don’t want) in our lives allows us to not only make progress towards changes we are making but gives us a chance to learn and enjoy along the way.

As we move into the final days of one year, I like to think about what will make the next one the most meaningful. When my actions are infused with meaning and my thoughts with gratitude, life seems sweeter and my connections and commitments are stronger.

8 Ways to Encourage a Meaningful New Year

1. Dress with Less. Turn your attention away from clearance sales and special email offers or trying to purchase something on the outside to feel better on the inside. The next official season of minimalist fashion challenge Project 333 begins on January 1st. Start the new year with a shopping ban and commitment to wear your favorite things every day.

2. Give back. Look for ways during the year to give your time, talent and treasure and to inspire others to give too. When we join forces, we have even more to give. I’ll be giving to my local food bank, Together Rising and The Loveland Foundation.

3. Dump stress. A stressful, chaotic life is not your cross to bear. Even if you think you created it or invited the stress in, you don’t deserve it. My entire simplicity journey started from the desire to reduce stress so I could live well with MS. If you want to feel better and live better, search some of the health articles on Be More with Less for more.

4. Write it down. Make a list of everything you want for the new year. Make another list of everything you want to let go of. Keep your lists front and center as you make decisions to encourage a more meaningful year for yourself.

5. Get your microbusiness off the ground. Is 2021 the year that you develop a side biz? Grow a blog? Or start being more creative because it’s fun to be more creative? If you’ve been thinking about getting started, try this microcourse: How to Create a Microbusiness that Matters.

6. Say goodbye to these 9 things.

7. Take really good care. Use these reminders to prioritize self-care. Self care may sound selfish or indulgent but when you remember how much better you feel and how much more you have to give when you are taking good care, you’ll realize that it benefits everyone around you too.

8. Find your people. Surround yourself with thoughtful, like-hearted people who are simplifying their lives too. Especially if you don’t have the support in your day-to-day life, create inspiration, connection and accountability in The Simplicity Space.

These are only recommendations. Try one, try them all or create your own.

Identify what matters most to you and start saying yes to things that support that and no to anything that doesn’t. That commitment alone will make the new year your most meaningful year ever.

When I feel scattered, lost or overwhelmed (in a positive or negative way), I need peace. I look for stillness and quiet. I find the ground so I don’t get swept away.

The more chaotic things are around you, the more challenging it can be to find peace within you so it’s important to create consistent practices to build inner peace. Then it will be there when you need it most.

Need Peace? 10 Ways to Cultivate Quiet in the Chaos.

When you need peace, here are a few ways to cultivate quiet in the chaos. Practice one at a time or if you already do some of these, see if some need more of your attention.

1. Meditate
When I wake up, before I do anything else, I sit quietly for 20 minutes and meditate. Call it meditation, mindfulness or sitting but carve out space to be you with you everyday.

2. Journal
I make sure to keep inner chaos at bay by writing it all down. Putting my mind on paper helps me to see it for what it is. It helps me let go of thoughts and ideas that aren’t serving me and to release any mind clutter trying to hold on. It clears the way for creativity and easier decision making.

3. Saying No
Creating peace means creating space in your calendar and on your to-do list so you can schedule more nothing. When we create boundaries around things that distract us from what matters, our level of engagement in what we care about becomes boundless. Say no to what you don’t have time for and to what you won’t allow in your life. You get to protect your time, attention and mental health. Say no more often to protect your health, your heart, and what matters most to you. Here’s how.

4. Move
I take a long walk and get on my yoga mat. If I don’t have extra time, I take a short walk and spend less time on my yoga mat but still I move. Stretch, do jumping jacks, have a dance party or do whatever else feels good.

5. Connect
Connecting might feel hard right now during the pandemic, but it’s still possible. Connect with people who lift you up and lift them right back. Socially distanced and even virtual connections are still a positive force when it comes to finding peace. Note: You don’t need a giant social circle or have to connect all the time to feel supported and be supportive.

6. Nourish
Stress makes me crave sugary food which often interrupts my sleep and causes more stress. Greens ground me and starting the day with a few servings of spinach, kale, and all the other fruits and veggies I include in my favorite smoothie helps me to focus. Find what fuels you in a positive way.

7. Make new noise
Sometimes the best way to drown out the noise of chaos is to create new noise. Make a playlist you enjoy with music that calms you. This one might help, or this classical playlist.

8. Limit input
No news, no social media, no breaking news.

9. Under-react
Have you ever made something bad even worse by over reacting? Catch yourself next time by taking a breath first. Does it even require your reaction? Most things don’t. See what happens when you let things unfold without your outrage, frustration or even a word. This can be challenging. If it needs to come out, see #2.

10. Ask for help
I recently asked my family not to call or text me with any news updates. They obliged. Ask for what you need … quiet time, an early night, a TV or internet-free space in the house. Ask for what will bring you peace.

What do you do to cultivate quiet in the chaos? How do you create more peace in your life?