Courtney Carver

Weekend Favorites: slow holidays, downsizing and therapy

by Courtney Carver

Weekend Wisdom: Saying yes when you want to say no is a recipe for resentment.

Well that happened fast.

Last weekend our plans to hike were snowed out. The good news is that not only did we find other places to hike, we got to get very excited about SNOW. After a hot summer, the early snow is very welcome.

A few fun updates and celebrations before we get into the favorites!

- Today I’m celebrating 1000 days of not drinking alcohol. 100 days felt great. 1000 feels like it’s time to stop counting. My life is better without alcohol. That’s why I quit. Here’s how I did it.
- The Soul & Wit Podcast has it’s first Patreon Patrons! We are feeling the love and very grateful. P.S. The Soul & Wit Podcast is still available to everyone Monday mornings where ever you listen to podcasts.
- The Simplicity Space membership opens at the end of the month but only to the waitlist. Sign up here if you are interested.
- I made my first apple pie of the season. That’s worth celebrating right?

Ok … onto the favorites:

8 ways to resist if you feel like shopping.

If you are stressed, these 10 things will help you feel better.

Yum.

Check out these fun halloween mocktails.

Music for cold fall nights is just what I need right now.

I learn so much listening to this podcast.

What I use to help my plants grow up.

I’m craving another slow, quiet holiday season.

This is lovely.

If you need inspiration to declutter, read the downsizing journey of these 4 women.

Inexpensive (or free) ways to create a space you love.

If you struggle with comparing yourself to others, this may help.

Your daily adorableness.

For extra self-care, remove these 3 things from your wardrobe.

This week’s Instagram favorite is from @wetheurban to save you some stress and worry this week.

I hope you enjoy this edition of Weekend Favorites and have a beautiful, safe, healthy, loving weekend.

xo,

Courtney

P.S. Join The Simplicity Space waitlist if you want to work with me and learn more about the membership.

Weekend Favorites: my tiny wardrobe, owning less and a delight diary

by Courtney Carver

Weekend Wisdom: Owning less = cleaning less.

I love being a mom to a grown up kid.

Spending time with my daughter Bailey is one of my favorite things to do so I feel very lucky that we get to work together. We’ve partnered up on different projects over the years, and for the last two years, we’ve been recording The Soul & Wit Podcast. You can listen on Apple Podcasts and Spotify.

I’m not sure I’ve ever laughed as much as I have while creating our weekly episodes. While we do have a great time together, there is work and expense involved too. We’ve self-funded more than 80 episodes (which we talk about on this episode) and we are ready to ask for your support.

We recently started an account with Patreon which is a really cool (and reputable) platform that lets you easily support your favorite creatives and in turn, lets your favorite creatives thank you by creating bonus goodies. In our case that means surprises in the mail, giveaways, bonus episodes and more.

We’ll still be offering our weekly episodes every Monday morning for everyone! Please subscribe if you want to start your week with a smile. We share our favorite books, food, adventures, life hacks and interviews with amazing humans.

You can check out our tall, grande and venti levels of support (and see a fun picture of the two of us) right here! We are excited to be your favorite podcasting mother-daughter duo

Ok … onto the favorites:

7 simple ways to be less bothered.

Want to see exactly what’s in my closet for fall?

Yum.

If you miss travel, you’ll love these beauties.

A live program to help you with the basics of Instagram.

Oh my goodness, you want to watch this.

25 creative ways to help animal shelters.

I made bacon from a surprising ingredient. You won’t believe it.

6 laundry tips for people who hate doing laundry.

This weekend, I’ll be cozying up with a book and listening to this.

A compelling argument for working less.

And now I have to start a delight diary.

10 rules to help you live with less stuff.

For more laughter, surprise and delight, join us here.

Let’s take a walk.

This week’s Instagram favorite is from @newhappyco as an invitation to take good care of you.

I hope you enjoy this edition of Weekend Favorites and have a beautiful, safe, healthy, loving weekend.

xo,

Courtney

P.S. If you like supporting good people doing good things, please do it here. We’ll help you laugh, grow and feel more connected to your favorite things.

7 Simple Ways to Be Less Bothered and More Delighted

by Courtney Carver

Isn’t it interesting how sad, upset and frustrated we can get when we are bothered by something?

It might be something someone said or did, uncomfortable clothes, the weather or something on the news or social media.

Usually that “something” we are bothered by is completely out of our control and often we’ve been bothered by it before and still we let it take over. Even when it is something we can change, we often spend longer than we need in that “being bothered/annoyed/hurt/mad” phase.

If you want to get all that time and energy back that you spend being bothered or, you just want more joy and lightness in your life (and less overwhelm), these 7 simple ways to be less bothered more delighted will help.

7 Simple Ways to Be Less Bothered and More Delighted

1. Start your week with delight.
Tune into the Soul & Wit Podcast (that I created with my daughter) every Monday morning for a brighter start to the week. For an extra boost, join our Patreon membership for fun bonus gifts (some that arrive in the actual mail). You’ll get the delight of supporting something good and being rewarded in return.

2. Let go of something.
Creating spaciousness will boost your mood. What weighs you down? What annoys you? What consumes you? How would it feel to let it go? Let go of something. Lots of somethings.

3. Plan your meals for a week.
I’m not usually a meal planner but thinking about what to shop for, cook and even eat has felt a little overwhelming lately. So this week, I planned a week of meals. Then I bought all the food, prepped the produce and don’t have to think about it anymore. Keep the meals simple and repeat a few meals. P.S. Not sure if this is something that will stick, but even just a week of relief has been delightful.

4. Admire animals.
Love up your cats and dogs and other pets. Tell them how amazing they are. If you don’t have pets, watch a few adorable goat or cow videos. Anything that will make you think, “awwwww” or “sooooo sweet” will do. Like these two.

5. Turn off the news.
It’s too much. If you want to stay informed, read a few bullet points once a day or once a week. You don’t have to “watch” the news or follow anyone on social media who is outraged on a minute by minute basis, inundating you with disturbing images, videos and thoughts. When you feel bothered by the news (no matter how it’s shared), remember that you are allowed to curate the information you consume. If you want to break up with breaking news, try this.

6. Look at how far you’ve come.
Take a look back at your calendar or journals from the last year. Notice what’s changed. See your progress (small progress is still progress). Celebrate the tiny steps, hard conversations, bold moves and other things that didn’t get enough recognition. Tell someone else about something you are proud of. Share it on social media or reach out and tell me about it. I’d love to celebrate you.

7. Don’t believe everything you think.
Two quotes stood out to me this week. The first is from Byron Katie, “Notice. Just now, in this moment, other than what you’re thinking and believing, are you okay?” and the next from Ram Dass, “We’re sitting under the tree of our thinking minds wondering why we aren’t getting any sunshine.” Use these quotes as invitations to come back from worries about the future and regret about the past and be present.

P.S. Check out the delightful Soul & Wit Podcast membership offerings right here.

Weekend Favorites: decluttering your home, lack of stamina and guilt

by Courtney Carver

Weekend Wisdom: “As much as I’m all for controlling chaos, I realize that things like passion, fun and creativity can rival structure and tidiness in a well-lived life.” – Liz Vaccariello

I’m back on the trail.

I didn’t hike much this summer due to a foot injury but I am getting back out there. Fall hiking in Utah is so pretty and the crisp air makes it even more enjoyable.

I’m grateful my heel is healing and am reminded (again) that some things take way longer than you’d like them to.

Ok … onto the favorites:

I think a lot of us have been feeling this way.

3 things you can do to improve your mental health at work.

A very meaningful family motto.

How to get ready for capsule wardrobe challenge Project 333.

Drinking a cup of tea and relaxing with this playlist.

Yum.

I feel hopeful after reading this.

How to age gracefully (NYT)

Your daily adorableness.

This is something I wrote a year ago and still stand by every word.

If you struggle to stop shopping, listen up.

A guide to seasonal beauty.

Tune in to hear about our plant addiction.

13 articles and challenges to help you declutter your home.

If you want to get your sleep back, read this.

This made me smile.

I just finished reading this, this and this.

On guilt.

This week’s Instagram favorite is from @morganharpernichols as a reminder that peace is always in reach.

I hope you enjoy this edition of Weekend Favorites and have a beautiful, safe, healthy, loving weekend.

xo,

Courtney

How to Get Ready for Capsule Wardrobe Challenge Project 333

by Courtney Carver

Join me on October 1, 2021 for capsule wardrobe challenge Project 333. All you have to do is to choose 33 items (clothing, jewelry, accessories, shoes) to wear for 3 months.

If you are thinking …

“I could never get down to 33”

“My weather changes too much”

“I have a job”

“But I love shopping”

“Seriously, I have to include shoes?!”

or another version of “I’m interested but I can’t do it,” this article might be just what you are looking for.

11 years ago, Project 333 began right here. I thought it would last for 3 months and here we are many years later and I still dress with 33 items every 3 months and people from all over the world have joined me to see what happens when you dress with less. Here’s what we’ve discovered.

When you dress with less, you …

save money.
have more time.
reduce decision fatigue.
enjoy your mornings more.
get to wear your favorite things every day.
get curious about how less may add value in other areas of life.
create room to discover what you are really interested in.
realize that no one cares what you wear (or do).
rarely run late deciding what to wear.
smile more and stress less.
have peace.

How to get ready for capsule wardrobe challenge Project 333

There are a few different ways to get ready for capsule wardrobe challenge Project 333.

Keep it Simple Method

Choose 33 items (clothing, jewelry, accessories, shoes) to wear for 3 months.
Hide everything else.
Have fun, be curious and let me know what you discover at the end of the challenge.

Give Me All The Information First Method

Listen to this step-by-step coaching call that will help you create a capsule wardrobe.
Read the Project 333 book or take the video course.
Carefully read and understand ALL of the Project 333 rules.

No matter which approach you go with, join me and other Project 333-ers on Instagram to share before and after pictures and other capsule wardrobe, dressing with less goodness.

But what should I wear?

Wear your favorites. Wear what fits (your body and your lifestyle).

I’ll never tell you exactly what to wear but here’s what I’ve included in some of my Project 333 capsule wardrobe collections.

Are you ready to try Project 333?

Yes, I’m in!
Awesome, I love that about you! Jump in. Clean out your closet for good, hide your other stuff for 3 months and get started. If you are on Instagram, share before and after closet pictures, or your daily outfits with hashtag #project333.

I would but because of (insert one of the popular excuses listed above), I can’t.
I so get you! I felt that fear too before I got started but I started just the same and I’m so glad. I realized I had been imagining all of the things that could go wrong and they never did. When I started this challenge, I thought it would be so hard, but it wasn’t. In fact, it made most things easier.

Even though you have permission to break the rules with Project 333, perhaps there is some benefit to really going for it.

If you are still thinking … “I could never do it.”
Please, please, please … always challenge your nevers. When we make decisions based on facts instead of fear, the possibilities are endless.

P.S. One more reminder that will help you get the most from this challenge. Treat it like an experiment instead of an emergency. You don’t have to have it all figured out and you can make adjustments if needed. Be curious and see what happens!

Declutter Your Home: 13 Articles and Challenges To Help You Start

by Courtney Carver

If you want to declutter your home but don’t know how to start, these articles, challenges and resources will help you take the next step. Whether you need instruction, inspiration or a list of what to let go of, it’s all here.

Before you start looking through the list below, think about how you will take action. Close the gap between inspiration and action by committing to a tiny step. You probably won’t declutter your home overnight, but the step-by-step, inch-by-inch, consistent steps you take will get you there.

You don’t have to exhaust yourself decluttering. Instead, focus on consistency over intensity.

Declutter Your Home: 13 Articles and Challenges To Help You Start

1. 5-Step Back to Basics Decluttering: If you are overwhelmed with the idea of decluttering, or just a little discouraged by clutter creep, remember there isn’t a special trick or one size fits all method for decluttering. The simplest way to move forward is to get back to basics.

2. 120 Things to Remove From Your Life: Set aside a little time to let go of the following 120 items. The faster the better so you don’t overthink and convince yourself to hold on. Fun music will help. Challenging a friend to join will make it more fun.

3. A Better (And More Ethical) Approach to Decluttering Your Home: Decluttering your home is one of the most rewarding things you can do. The benefits of a clutter-free environment include less stress, less debt, and more time to spend with family and friends.

4. The 27 Best Decluttering Tips of All Time: “Keep what you need and what makes you happy” is enough of a north star for some people. But many of us need a little extra guidance to help decide what’s worth keeping. These 27 time-tested decluttering tips can help.

5. Simplify Life: Tiny Decluttering Projects This Soul & Wit Podcast Episode will inspire you declutter your home, one tiny project at a time.

6. 11 Tips When Decluttering Is Hard: Use these tips to not only learn how to purge and declutter your house. But also, how to push through and get it done. Even when you feel stuck, overwhelmed or decluttering simply feels hard!

7. How To Declutter Your Home: 10 Creative Decluttering Tips: If you’re struggling and need guidance on how to declutter, you’ll need to get creative with your plans. Here are several interesting decluttering tips to get you started on decluttering your home.

8. Wardrobe Declutter: Remove these 8 things from your closet today. If you are tired of a chaotic wardrobe, be discerning about what lives in your closet. There are items or categories of clothing you may be holding onto that are just adding clutter to your closet and chaos to your life.

9. Declutter These 52 Things From Your Life Today: If you feel stuck, stop thinking about what you are getting rid of and instead consider what you are making space for. Make space for laughing, resting and connecting. Make space to show up for your life. Make space for what matters to you.

10. 7 Practical Steps to Declutter Your Home in 10 Minutes: Every space we decluttered offered the hope of greater peace. We wanted that peace to replace our possessions in every nook and cranny of our home.

11. 7 Tips To Help Your Kids Let Go Of Their Excess Clutter: Teaching your kids (rather than just telling your kids) how to apply a minimalist mindset does take a big dose of intentionality and a bit more coffee–but it’s entirely possible and so very worth it!

12. Anti-Procrastination Decluttering Challenge: The secret to combating procrastination is to build momentum. It also helps to trick procrastination into having fun. Instead of making your decluttering project a big chore, turn it into a challenge. Bonus: a challenge may interest decluttering resistant family members too.

13. Decluttering Burst: Let Go of One Hundred Things in Less Than An Hour: Try the decluttering burst to inspire long-lasting change in your life. Big change takes time and can sometimes feel heavy and frustrating. Find ways to have fun along the way. You’ll be so glad you took time to enjoy the journey. I hope this decluttering burst helps!

Weekend Favorites: food myths, mood boosters and getting uncluttered

by Courtney Carver

Weekend Wisdom: Resting may be the most productive thing you can do right now.

I’m reflecting.

This weekend, I’ll be giving extra thought to 9/11 and how we came together (even for a short time) to support each other in the face of great fear, tragedy and uncertainty. Perhaps we can recapture some of that support and togetherness again.

If we can’t do it as a country, can we do it as a community, or a neighborhood or a small circle of friends?

We need each other more than ever and I’m never giving up on that.

Ok … onto the favorites:

This is what I am reading right now.

Remembering the Heroes of 9/11 with a long walk.

7 notes of encouragement to help you simplify your life.

If you are ready to get uncluttered, go here.

A book about longing for less.

If you are as excited as I am for crisp mornings and a warm beverage, listen up.

Mood boosters to lift you up.

5 years ago I shared a fun 21-day decluttering challenge here on YouTube.

15 unexpected benefits of volunteering.

Last weekend we talked baking therapy and this weekend I bring you culinary therapy.

This time last year.

20 years ago today, my parents were on a flight diverted to Canada so I’ll be watching this (and feeling grateful that they had a safe place to land).

I need to do more of this.

9 myths about immune boosting foods that health experts want you to stop believing.

I’m looking forward to listening to this.

How to cope with intense emotion and grief.

They really do live happily ever after in this beautiful love story.

Yum.

This week’s Instagram favorite is from @allyfallon to remind you that you don’t have to figure it all out.

I hope you enjoy this edition of Weekend Favorites and have a beautiful, safe, healthy, loving weekend.

xo,

Courtney

P.S. Season 3 of The Soul & Wit Podcast starts on Monday!

7 Notes of Encouragement as You Simplify Your Life

by Courtney Carver

If you are trying to simplify your life, you’ve probably discovered that it’s not an overnight adventure.

I’ve accepted that I will be simplifying for a lifetime. That realization has removed a lot of pressure to “get there” or to “do it the best way” and allowed me to turn my focus to enjoying it instead of finishing it.

If you are realizing this journey is more than decluttering and that simplicity takes time, these notes of encouragement will help you continue to simplify your life.

7 Notes of Encouragement as You Simplify Your Life

1.

With all of the focus around minimalism, simplicity, decluttering, and capsule wardrobes, it’s easy to believe that a simple life is the dream, but a simple life is not the end goal.

I’ve been simplifying my life since 2006. I didn’t know that’s what was happening in the beginning. At first, I was only focused on eliminating as much stress as I could so I could feel better and live well with multiple sclerosis.

Even when I finally saw the simplicity path I was on, I knew the finish line wasn’t a simple life. We don’t remove clutter, reduce stress, and boycott busyness to have a simple life. We do it to have a life. Not a beautifully organized life, or a completely calm life. Not a perfect life or one where we know all the answers but a life that we have room for, a life we can notice, a life we can enjoy and a life we can show up for.

Today, I do feel better. I am living well with MS. I don’t have a simple life but I laugh a lot more. I enjoy the work I do and I have the presence to be in my life instead of racing around trying to keep up with it.

Don’t simplify for a simple life but instead so you can be in your life.

2.

I want my legacy to be how I loved while I was here, not meaningless stuff I left behind. 💕

art: @maxfieldjacqueline

3.

Whenever I share that I’m taking a break from the news, someone always tells me that it’s important to stay informed. I agree. Kind of.

It is important to stay informed but not on an hourly basis or even a daily basis.

It’s also important to consider how you are informed. I don’t “watch” the news or news clips or video shared online. I read the news. I choose what I let into my heart and soul and how I let it in.

If you are feeling overwhelmed, take a break from the news, social media and the internet whenever you want. Being uninformed for a minute allows you to feel the way you want to feel instead of living in a reactionary state 24/7.

Breaking up with breaking news will simplify your life.

4.

Simple right?

5.

You aren’t going to have the same amount of interest, time, energy and other resources to actively simplify your life. What’s available to you is going to change based on how you feel, what your family needs and what season of simplicity you are in.

6.

If catching up worked, you’d be caught up by now. Let’s be honest, the to-dos are never ending so catching up is a game we continue to lose.

What if we just stopped catching up and instead did what we could with the time we had without stressing out about what doesn’t get done.

Oh, then we’d be relaxed.

7.

Identify abundance by what fills your heart and lights you up.

You may not connect with all of these notes, but if one resonates with you, write it down. The next time you are feeling overwhelmed or frustrated as you simplify your life, revisit the words you wrote down and use them to help you create momentum and inspiration.

P.S. For more notes and quotes, and simple inspiration, join me on Instagram.

Weekend Favorites: hard truths about clutter, baking therapy and snail mail

by Courtney Carver

Weekend Wisdom: Boundaries are how we show each other who we are.

Change is in the air.

It may be awhile before the snow falls but I can feel change in the air. Soon the temperature will change, the leaves will change and my energy will change. It’s all an invitation to practice accepting change and even inviting it.

Many of us are uncomfortable with change but I’ve learned (over and over again), that the pain of change usually doesn’t come from actual change, it comes from resisting it. The next time you are struggling with change, ask yourself if you are accepting or resisting.

Accepting doesn’t mean, “I agree. This is great.” It means, “I understand this is happening and now I have to consider how to adjust.” You may not like snow but you adjust before winter and get out the snow shovel and your favorite scarf. You can do the same thing with almost any change if you are willing to accept it.

Experiment and see how it feels. The next time you are facing a change, accept it and choose your shift or adjustment.

Ok … onto the favorites:

Read this if you adjusting to an empty nest.

I’ll be indulging in this therapy over the weekend.

This story puts me to sleep (seriously, I’ve never heard the whole thing).

I loved the answers to this question.

The disease of being busy.

Become a better planner in your biz with this workshop.

In praise of snail mail.

You may need to hear these 9 hard truths about clutter.

The Soul & Wit Pod is back for Season Three on September 13th.

If you are ready to say goodbye to diet culture.

I hope this is true.

This time last year, I wrote this.

Permission to stay in your own business.

When I feel anxious, I listen to this playlist.

This is why I stopped drinking.

I’m so happy I did because of these 13 reasons.

Cuteness overload.

This week’s Instagram favorite is from @becomingunbusy to encourage you to ask for what you really want.

I hope you enjoy this edition of Weekend Favorites and have a beautiful, safe, healthy, loving weekend.

xo,

Courtney

Weekend Favorites: Zoom fatigue, better sleep and a podcast about a sandwich

by Courtney Carver

Weekend Wisdom: You aren’t required to explain decisions to take better care of yourself.

I have Zoom fatigue.

Typically, I have 0-3 Zoom calls in a week. This week I had 12 (plus a couple of other meetings)! This means my eyes can not look at the screen anymore and my brain cannot make words. Soooo …. we are moving right onto the favorites. Enjoy!

Ok … onto the favorites:

Cue the tears.

Want to stop buying junk? Read this.

10 fascinating things to consider when dealing with unsolicited advice.

I cannot get enough of this goodness (volume on).

This gnocchi soup is still a favorite (but veg)

If you are sick of the news, how about a sandwich?

This is for when things feel scattered.

I’d really like to read this book.

This playlist is perfect for early morning reading.

I only watch the movie after I’ve read the book so was very excited about this list.

A class for more confidence in the kitchen.

Need tips to stop scrolling? Here you go.

3 helpful reminders when you don’t have things all figured out.

Oh my goodness, a spa day for this little baby.

7 anxiety-reducing habits to follow for better sleep.

I attended this show and laughed and cried. It’s coming up again here.

These 20 journaling prompts will help you get out of your head.

If you want some IRL less is more inspiration, the Love People, Use Things tour starts soon.

Yum!

This week’s Instagram favorite is from @TherapyforWomen to encourage you to ask for what you really want.

I hope you enjoy this edition of Weekend Favorites and have a beautiful, safe, healthy, loving weekend.

xo,

Courtney

P.S. If you have a small biz, or are a creative entrepreneur, check out this fun workshop.

Dealing With Unsolicited Advice: 10 Fascinating Things To Consider

by Courtney Carver

Dealing with unsolicited advice is something we all struggle with at one time or another.

I recently asked for your feedback on a survey about boundaries and saying no. One of the questions I asked was, “What do you tolerate on a regular basis because you think you are supposed to?” One answer that came up again and again was, “dealing with unsolicited advice” about a variety of topics; what I eat, how I parent, my work, what I’m wearing, how I look, what I do with money and more!

So here is my advice on unsolicited advice.

Dealing With Unsolicited Advice: 10 fascinating things to consider before giving or receiving advice

1. You don’t have to be so helpful.
Anne Lamott says, “Our help is usually not very helpful. Our help is often toxic. And help is the sunny side of control. Stop helping so much. Don’t get your help and goodness all over everybody.” Oh, ouch! Help is the sunny side of control?!

I’ll admit, I often think of my advice as “being helpful” which is why seeing it through Anne Lamott’s eyes is so powerful. It makes me wonder, do I want to help or do I want to control the situation. What about you … helpful or controlling?

2. Ask first
Ask yourself, “Does this person want my advice?” If you aren’t sure, ask them. “Is it ok if I tell you what I think?” or “Do you want my advice?” If they say no, believe them.

3. Tell first.
When you are talking to your people about something, be clear about what you’d like in response. If you don’t want advice, say, “I’d like to share this with you and I am not looking for advice.” or “I don’t want advice or feedback but instead I just want to say this out loud. I want to vent.” And then just to be really clear ask, “Is that ok with you?”

In some cases you may be actually looking for advice and you can ask for it.

4. Stay in your business.
This goodness from Byron Katie always reels me in, “There are only three kinds of business in the universe: mine, yours, and God’s.

Whose business is it if an earthquake happens? God’s business.
Whose business is it if your neighbor down the street has an ugly lawn? Your neighbor’s business.
Whose business is it if you are angry at your neighbor down the street because he has an ugly lawn? Your business.

Life is simple—it is internal.

Count, in five minute intervals, how many times you are in someone else’s business mentally. Notice when you give uninvited advice or offer your opinion about something (aloud or silently).

Ask yourself: “Am I in their business? Did they ask me for my advice?” And more importantly, “Can I take the advice I am offering and apply it to my life?”

I am constantly asking myself, “Is this my business?” 9 out of 10 times, it’s not. Next, I consider the advice I had ready to go and see if I can apply it to my own life.

5. Consider past exchanges.
Has my advice been well received in this relationship in the past? If your advice has been routinely dismissed or debated, stop offering it. Instead ask, “How can I help?” or just listen. Not everything requires a response.

6. Don’t be mistreated.
When advice crosses the line to commenting on your clothing, body, or other things that are completely inappropriate, speak it. “That’s inappropriate.” One of my favorite quotes is from Elizabeth Lesser. She so eloquently says, “Do no harm, take no shit.”

7. Let it go.
Once you give your advice (with permission), let it go. You’ve given it to someone else and it’s up to them to decide what to do with it. It’s kind of like writing a book. You can’t tell people how to read it, when to read it or even to read it at all. You don’t get to control how other people receive your words.

When you receive advice, if it doesn’t resonate, let it go. If you feel pressured to act or follow through, you aren’t dealing with advice, you are dealing with expectations. You don’t have to deal with those at all.

8. Re-frame your advice.
When giving it … Instead of telling others what they should do, remind them that this is what has been helpful for you or how you imagine you would move forward in their situation. Reinforce self trust, “You know what’s best for you.”

When receiving it … When you are blindsided with unsolicited advice that isn’t welcome or helpful, simply say, “Thank you for the thoughtful feedback.” Then see #7.

9. Don’t take advice too seriously.
When I’m considering advice, especially unsolicited advice. I do a quick scan and ask the following questions,

Is this person qualified to offer this advice? For instance, If someone is offering me medical advice and they are not a medical professional, I’ll say thank you and do my own research.

Why am I so resistant to or bothered by this advice? Often, it’s because the advice isn’t helpful but sometimes it’s because it’s something I really need to hear and really do not want to hear.

Even though I don’t love it all, is there a bit of goodness here? In other words, don’t throw the baby out with the bathwater. (P.S. That’s a terrible saying but perfectly illustrates what I’m going for here.)

10. Trust yourself.
Before you seek advice, check in with yourself. Take good care and check in again. After you get advice, check in again. Put your hands on your heart, breathe and ask, “what’s best for me?” Trust the answer.

The fascinating part of these 10 things is that the next time, before unsolicited advice is coming out of our mouths or when it is pouring into our ears, we can think about it differently and might not have to be dealing with unsolicited advice at all. It’s fascinating that in many situations, by changing our thoughts, we can change our experience.

I’m offering you advice on advice. The irony is not lost on me. I’m learning with you. I love you. I love us.

3 Reminders If You Don’t Have It All Figured Out

by Courtney Carver

Do you get frustrated when you can’t figure it all out?

Am I the only one who doesn’t have the next decade, next year, or even the next week perfectly planned out? Since 2020, it seems like everything is more of a mystery than ever.

The uncertainty can be unnerving. It makes us want to plan, find order … figure it all out. Cue middle of the night mind spinning sessions as if we can think ourselves into certainty.

Even though we are all going through it, sometimes it feels like everyone else has it all together. If you are like me and don’t have it all figured out, please remember these three things.

3 reminders if you don’t have it all figured out

You are not alone. Don’t assume (especially based on social media) that your friends have it all figured out. You are only getting a glimpse of their reality. We all do our best to share our best, but the truth is … we are all trying to figure out how to be a human and how to make a good life. It’s not always as pretty as it looks.
Busyness doesn’t equal control. Filling our calendars and planners gives us an illusion of control which feels good (even when overwhelming). It’s only an illusion though. Big plan or no plan, things may not turn out the way you thought. Don’t measure the success of something just on the results or how they matched up to your plan or goal. P.S. You can’t escape uncertainty and discomfort by being really busy. Been there, tried that.
You probably have more figured out than you think. When you think you have no idea what you are doing, make a list of what you do know. Write down what’s happening now, or what happened recently even though you didn’t have it all figured out.

In the moments that feel scary and uncertain, remind yourself things are unfolding and that worry and overthinking won’t change a thing. Give the pieces time to reveal themselves, and then take the time you need to put them together. When you feel overwhelmed by it all, just do this.

Weekend Favorites: plants, decluttering and being an introvert

by Courtney Carver

Weekend Wisdom: I give myself permission to not rush my rest. – Jamila Reddy

It’s all about the plants over here.

Pre-pandemic, I was traveling a couple of times a month and didn’t own any plants except for a small pot of succulents. In the summer of 2020, when I realized it might be awhile before I was moving around the world again, I bought one plant. After a few months another plant found it’s way into my life. Today there are six plants and a tree living in my home.

The shocking part about that is that they are all living, thriving really!

I always said I wasn’t good with plants but that was just a story I was telling myself. It’s a good reminder that when the stories you tell yourself aren’t serving you anymore, start telling different stories.

Ok … onto the favorites:

I’m not the only one who talks to the plants.

I talk about being an introvert in this interview.

120 things to remove from your life.

I want to play more after reading this.

The Dutch secret to boosting joy every day.

You’ll enjoy this morning coffee even if you don’t like coffee.

How to make your cut flowers last longer.

Take a time out to breathe and watch something beautiful.

A well curated list of decluttering articles.

I am really excited for this planning workshop.

This is fascinating.

5-step back to basics decluttering.

Maybe you have everything you need.

I’m not crying. Ok, maybe crying a little.

Bedtime stories for grown-ups.

Yum. Before summer ends, I’ll be making this.

A tiny kindness library.

This week’s Instagram favorite is from @selfcarexpress if you need an invitation to look inside.

I hope you enjoy this edition of Weekend Favorites and have a beautiful, safe, healthy, loving weekend.

xo,

Courtney

P.S. Let’s help Kaya Hartley, a special education teacher fill her classroom with much needed resources. Here’s her wish list.

5-Step Back to Basics Decluttering

by Courtney Carver

If you are overwhelmed with the idea of decluttering, or just a little discouraged by clutter creep, remember there isn’t a special trick or one size fits all method for decluttering. The simplest way to move forward is to get back to basics.

Getting rid of stuff comes with all kinds of complicated emotions and feelings, so it’s easy to get frustrated. If clutter crept back in after a big decluttering effort a few months or years ago, it’s easy to think that the work you did was a waste of time.

You might be wondering …

Where did all this stuff come from?
Why can’t I let go?
What’s wrong with me?

Instead of getting lost in all of the questions, emotions and mind-drama, keep it really simple. If what you want is a clutter-free space, just start removing the clutter.

Getting back to basics is the simplest way to find calm in the chaos.

5-step back to basics decluttering

1. Know your why.
Remember why you want to live with less stuff. It’s different for everyone. Some people enjoy more space, time or money and others appreciate the freedom of owning less. Maybe you want room to dance, or bake, or entertain or simply to rest. Knowing your why gives your decluttering purpose. If you aren’t sure why, this will help.

2. Be clear on your approach.
This isn’t an organizing mission. If organizing worked, you’d be organized by now. Turn your focus from getting tidy to getting rid of the stuff you don’t need, want, or love. If if doesn’t add some kind of value to your life, let it go.

3. Start with the easy stuff.
Don’t worry about the sentimental stuff or the things you are really attached to. Start with the simple knickknacks, candle holders, junk drawer items, and clothes that don’t fit. Then look at the books you don’t read, towels you haven’t used in years and cords and chargers that don’t work or don’t belong to anything. Getting rid of the easy stuff will give you momentum and inspiration to consider the more challenging items.

4. Lighten up.
Lose the duplicates and the just in case items. Figure out how many kitchen utensils and place settings you really need and use and get rid of the rest. If you’ve been collecting place mats, napkins and linens for years, keep what you use and give the rest away. When you are struggling, consider this.

5. Celebrate your efforts.
Of course there is more that could be done. There always will be but this isn’t the time. Now that you’ve gotten back to basics and decluttered your home, or a room, or even a corner of the room, it’s time to celebrate. If you decluttered your kitchen, host a small dinner party. If your idea of celebrating is turning on music, grabbing a good book and relaxing in your newly decluttered space, do that. You deserve to celebrate your efforts in a way that resonates with you.

If you feel overwhelmed or confused about the benefits of decluttering, simply remember that your home is not a container for your stuff, but rather a place for joy and connection. I can’t think of a better reason to declutter than to make room for more of that.

P.S. If you are ready to level up from the basics, let go of these 120 items.

120 Things To Remove From Your Life

by Courtney Carver

My simplicity journey is gentle. My decluttering journey was slow.

I didn’t wake up one morning cancel my cable television, quit my job and throw all my stuff in a dumpster.

One small change led to another. It’s been an inch by inch, shirt by vase by book process of letting go. I’ve simplified and edited every part of my life and continue to approach my life and work with a less is more philosophy.

The slow and steady way is the only one that has ever worked for me in terms of sustainable change.

That said, picking up the speed and intensity on my simplicity journey in little bursts has helped me make progress, have more fun and maintain motivation. I’ve shared a lot about personal challenges and experiments like this one and this one.

A Challenge For Your Simplicity Journey

Set aside a little time to let go of the following 120 items. The faster the better so you don’t overthink and convince yourself to hold on. Fun music will help. Challenging a friend to join will make it more fun.

Do it to make space. Do it for more light. Do it to smile. Do it because things are too heavy and too much right now. When excuses pop up, turn up the music.

120 Things To Remove From Your Life

10 spices you never use (or sauces, condiments etc.).
You know you have these.

10 articles of clothing that don’t fit (your body or your lifestyle).
You aren’t wearing them so why give them your space, time and attention?

10 emails sitting in your email box.
Your inbox is not your to-do list.

10 things that bother you (that you have no control over) as they roll around in your mind.
Write them down and throw it away. When they come back, repeat.

10 books you’ve already read.
Pass them on. There will always be more books.

10 apps on your phone.
Look for the ones you haven’t opened in a month or the ones that are open for hours a day.

10 random cords.
Find your box or drawer of cords, most of which you never use, never used and will not use again. Let go. I say this with love. I’ve been there.

10 Facebook friends.
Come on, are they really your friends? If you don’t want to sit down for dinner with these people, why are you spending time with their vacation photos?

10 goals, hopes or dreams for the future that you’ve held on to but don’t really care about anymore.
You are allowed to have new goals, hopes and dreams but you have to make room for them.

10 expectations you have for an adult that isn’t you.
You can’t want something for someone more than they want it for themselves. This is not your job or your responsibility and it results in constant disappointment (for you and them).

10 coffee mugs.
Then you can use your favorite mug every day.

Some of these are easy and some are more challenging. Set a timer and see how long it takes and then try it next week and see if you can beat your time. Have fun with it! Then, go back to gentle, consistent tiny steps.

xo,

Courtney

P.S. If one of these categories doesn’t apply to you, simply substitute one that does.

Weekend Favorites: taking naps, reading nooks and a dance party

by Courtney Carver

Weekend Wisdom: I don’t want my legacy to be containers full of stuff.

I’m not the only one who loves my new office.

If world class gymnast, Simone Biles can withdraw from the Olympics to protect her mental health, we can …

stop watching the news
take a social media break
refuse to engage in harmful conversations
go to bed early
take a day off to rest
listen to a fun podcast
enjoy a few weekend favorites
decline an invitation
watch a holiday movie in July (or August)

or whatever we need to do to protect our own mental health.

Ok … onto the favorites:

Looking up.

I’m going to invest in this company.

9 quotes from Simone Biles on why mental health matters more than medals.

If you want to feel happy, watch this.

4 ways to break up with breaking news.

Looking for a good reason to take a nap? Here are 7.

An interview with a therapist about grief, depression and more.

Last weekend I could not stop listening to this soundtrack.

The why behind sharing pronouns.

If you are looking for the truth, here it is.

7 easy ways to destress through the work day.

If you want to rethink your relationship with social media, this will help.

Lessons learned from a reading nook.

Ok, how sweet is this?

Yum.

This week’s Instagram favorite is from @nidhikushshah to help us all slow down, take it in, notice, linger and fall in love over and over again.

I hope you enjoy this edition of Weekend Favorites and have a beautiful, safe, healthy, loving weekend.

xo,

Courtney

Weekend Favorites: spend time with me, saying no and your not-to-do list

by Courtney Carver

Weekend Wisdom: Saying no is not a negotiation.

I want to go back to this magical place.

This Weekend Favs is short & sweet. I’ve spent most of the week answering the most heart-felt, honest and sometimes heart-breaking emails about how hard it is to say no.

It is an honor to have these meaningful conversations. It’s one of the reasons I’m so excited about the Boundaries Module coming up in The Simplicity Space. We have work to do!

Ok … onto the favorites:

How to give away your stuff.

Join me for a live call today (Saturday) here at 1:00 pm ET

Or here at 7:00 pm ET

Let’s all channel our inner Phoebe the next time we say no.

My current situation.

Have you watched The Art of No-ing Video Series?

Currently craving.

Let me help you make a NOT-TO-DO list.

Of these 60 best romantic comedies of all time, there are only 14 I haven’t seen.

This week’s Instagram favorite is from @yung_pueblo as an invitation to show up for your life.

I hope you enjoy this edition of Weekend Favorites and have a beautiful, safe, healthy, loving weekend.

xo,

Courtney

P.S. The Simplicity Space membership is only open from July 25-29th. Feel free to respond to this email with questions and I’m happy to help.

Weekend Favorites: mental health, memories and living your truth

by Courtney Carver

Weekend Wisdom: Saying yes when you want to say no is a recipe for resentment.

Good things are coming your way.

Over the next ten days or so, I’ve got some extra goodies for you. To celebrate the opening of The Simplicity Space, I’ll be sharing a fun video series and live calls on Instagram, Facebook and via live webinar (dates and links coming soon). You’ll notice some extra email from me and then we’ll get back to our 2x a week routine.

As these extra emails arrive, you’ll notice several invitations to respond and connect with me and I hope you’ll take me up on that. I’ll be responding personally and I’m genuinely interested in your thoughts and helping how I can.

Ok … onto the favorites:

I’m excited that this new book is out in the world.

This is mind blowing. (NYT)

What gets your attention?

I hope this makes you see how beautiful you are.

Happy birthday to my best girl.

How to reverse your latest laundry catastrophe.

Do you ever forget to clean one of these 5 things?

Walking isn’t just good for your legs.

You really don’t have to respond to these things.

6 unexpected ways decluttering will improve your mental health.

Maybe photos are getting in the way of our memories.

This was made for summertime.

If you want to live a more truthful, aligned life, ask this one question.

The 28 items in my summer wardrobe.

If you want to chill out, shuffle this.

No thank you.

This week’s Instagram favorite is from @ladybluebottle in case you forgot. There is good in the world because you are here.

I hope you enjoy this edition of Weekend Favorites and have a beautiful, safe, healthy, loving weekend.

xo,

Courtney

The Project 333 Challenge (+ my summer capsule wardrobe)

by Courtney Carver

Almost eleven years later and I’m still thrilled to recommend the Project 333 Challenge.

Dressing with 33 items or less started as a personal challenge in 2010 and has become something personal and rewarding for tens of thousands, maybe hundreds of thousands of people around the world. It started with my closet and then took on a life of it’s own. Now, it’s a book too (with pretty much an answer to every question you may have) and still a part of my closet and my life.

Take a look at my summer capsule wardrobe below but first …

Why you might want to take The Project 333 Challenge

I could give you 1000 reasons but unless you are ready for a change or even a little shift in what you wear, how you think and understanding what you need and want in your closet and in your life, it might not be time.

If you are ready, by taking The Project 333 Challenge you’ll be able to …

save money.
reduce decision fatigue.
find out what you really like to wear.
create space in your closet.
have fun with friends (if you do it with someone else).
inspire others (by sharing your challenge on Instagram).
get curious about what really interests you.
get back time and attention by not shopping for three months.
have more room to breathe.

And if you are wondering, you won’t …

get rid of everything you aren’t wearing (you just hide it).
suffer by wearing things that don’t fit or you don’t like just to follow the rules.
compete with anyone else (you can’t win Project 333).
feel guilty about the clothes you never wear (because they will be out of sight).
overthink it once you get started. Most people say the most challenging part of the challenge is thinking about starting.

What I’m wearing this summer

See below for exactly what’s in my capsule wardrobe this summer.

Pictured above:
3 pants
3 dresses
1 jumpsuit
1 blazer
1 sweatshirt (almost time to replace)
5 shirts (may rotate in two more in Sept)

Not pictured above:
1 jacket
1 scarf
1 sunhat
1 sunglasses
2 necklaces
1 crystal bracelets
1 pair of earrings
1 purse
1 crossbody sports bag
4 pairs of Shoes
closet doors (coming soon)

Total: 28 items
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This is it, my summer (July – Sept) Project 333 wardrobe.

If you want to take the Project 333 Challenge

Choose 33 items (or less) including clothes, shoes, jewelry and accessories. Pack up and hide everything else and then you don’t have to think about shopping or what to wear for the next three months. For more details, here’s a little guide.

Underwear, sleepwear and workout clothes don’t count as long as your workout clothes are working out. Oh, and loungewear that doesn’t leave the house doesn’t count either. Thanks to 2020, I think we all have plenty of that.

I know this doesn’t look like a lot but chances are, even if your closet is full, you are only wearing a handful of your favorites over and over again. Getting the other stuff out of sight will give you a chance to sample simplicity and decide what you really want/need in your closet and your life.

P.S. If you feel any kind of way about the lack of color in my wardrobe, please read this.

Weekend Favorites: food guilt, cooling down and a pantry tour

by Courtney Carver

Weekend Wisdom: When we try to juggle everything, we can’t enjoy anything.

I wish Peony season would never end.

I enjoy a colorful life in this minimalist home. There may not be lots of art on my walls or patterns in my wardrobe but I fill my life with color with plants, flowers, good books, creative projects, work I love and loving friends and family.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I’ll take space for more love and laughter over more stuff to store every time.

Ok … onto the favorites:

If you are easily annoyed by other people’s opinions, consider this.

23 ways to make the most of July

If you ever feel guilty about what you eat, read this.

8 little notes for more peace and ease.

If you’d like to spread love and kindness with compliments, here’s how.

What to do with all of those tomatoes.

Well done Zaila! (NYT)

This might inspire you to take a break.

If you can’t decide what to read next, choose based on your Zodiac sign.

13 reasons I’m SO glad I quit drinking.

I’m reading what she’s reading.

Awwww.

Check out this fun pantry tour.

On making new friends.

If you are ready to relax this weekend, here are a few songs to help.

The Simplicity Space opens soon!

If you are ready for a cool down, here are 17 ways to beat the summer heat.

Yum.

This week’s Instagram favorite is from @nedratawwab because if we all did this, the internet would be a nicer place and we’d all be happier.

I hope you enjoy this edition of Weekend Favorites and have a beautiful, safe, healthy, loving weekend.

xo,

Courtney