Get your free copy of 25 Ways to Simplify Your Life in 10 Minutes or Less. Click here to join.

bemorewithless

Simplify your life. Declutter your mind. Connect with your heart.

Courtney Carver

21 Tiny Ways To Be The Priority of Your Own Life

by Courtney Carver

If you want to be the priority of your own life, forget about your New Year’s goals and resolutions for a moment. Forget about simplifying your life, paying off all of your debt, starting your own business or discovering perfect health. Set all of the lofty goals and hopes and dreams aside for now.

Those are big picture things. Think small instead.

What can you do right now to take really good care of yourself?

What can you do in this moment to be the priority of your own life?

I love these words from Rudy Francisco, “Perhaps we should love ourselves so fiercely, that when others see us, they know exactly how it should be done.”

The way to so fiercely loving ourselves is by taking really good care of ourselves.

Start with one of these 21 tiny ways to be the priority of your own life.

  1. Cancel your next appointment.
  2. Drink a glass of water.
  3. Go to bed early.
  4. Schedule a dentist appointment.
  5. Turn off your phone.
  6. Take a bath or shower.
  7. Call your best friend (the one who knows how to love you).
  8. Read a book.
  9. Declutter your junk drawer.
  10. Go for a walk.
  11. Write something down that really pissed you off and tear it up.
  12. Bake something for your neighbor (and for you).
  13. Do nothing.
  14. Get support.
  15. Laugh.
  16. Cry.
  17. Sit still.
  18. Don’t apologize for putting yourself first.
  19. Write yourself a love letter.
  20. Put your hands on your heart and ask, “what do I want?”
  21. Give yourself permission to want what you want.

Often, the solution to our pain is much smaller than we think.

Often, the solution to our pain is much smaller than we think. Author, Glennon Doyle says, “I tend toward dramatic thinking. When I have a problem or when I feel icky, I tend to think the solution is: I have to move, and I need a new family, and a new religion and a new house. I need to start all over, everything is terrible. But what I usually need is, like, a glass of water.”

So maybe, simply drinking a glass of water is the one thing you can do right now to take really good care of yourself.

Be the priority of your own life by pausing a few times a day and asking, “How can I take really good care of myself right now?”

Don’t wait until you think you deserve it, or until you have time or money or space or whatever else you think needs to happen before you start putting yourself first.

Start now.

Because you do deserve it.

Show people how to love you.

Take really good care of yourself.

Be the priority of your own life.

OK?

Weekend Favorites: gentle January, friendship and decluttering your mind

by Courtney Carver

Weekend Wisdom: I don’t say “no” because I’m so busy. I say “no” because I don’t want to be so busy.

We are cuddling.

I’ve joked before that it’s a good thing we got pets before we got simple because sometimes pets aren’t that simple. After spending most of December reading by the Christmas Tree in the early mornings, Wilbur (named after the pig in Charlotte’s Web) and I started this daily cuddling habit. I pull the blanket over my legs and he nuzzles his way under the blanket and settles into the crook of my knee until his purring turns to snoring. You can always count on seeing a tail or a leg stretching outside of the blanket or hanging off the couch.

Knowing how much I treasure these moments remind me that pets can contribute to living more simply. I’m also keenly aware in these moments that I never set out to have a simple life (even with all that simplifying), I just wanted to get rid of enough stuff and stress to be well, feel good and have the time and presence to show up for my life.

Noticing simple pleasures like this is what it’s all about.

Ok … onto the favorites:

What to expect from the 5-day Less Phone, More Life Challenge.

I like writing with this playlist.

How to declutter your mind.

Clean your house in 20 minutes a day for 30 days with this schedule.

How people really want to spend their time (hint: not on their phones).

I am all about a gentle January.

Adulting: a list we all need.

If you are overwhelmed with all of your stuff, read this.

Support for your new biz.

I’ll start with #6 with these 37 winter salads..

Donate to this organization providing funding for life-changing and life-saving services to Black mothers in need.

How to meet your literary goals in 2022. This article will inspire you to read more.

8 long-distance friendship ideas to stay more connected (and have fun).

I just finished reading this book and started this one.

How to be the priority of your own life (starting now, starting small).

I used to be a human being.

Haha.

This week’s Instagram favorite is from @handsfreerevolution for the people pleasers and frustrated peace keepers.

I hope you enjoy this edition of Weekend Favorites and have a beautiful, safe, healthy, loving weekend.

xo,

Courtney

P.S. The free-five day, Less Phone, More Life Challenge starts Monday. Sign up here and fill out the worksheet we’ll send you so you’ll be ready to go!

Less Phone Means More Everything

by Courtney Carver

Thousands have joined the Less Phone, More Life Challenge and what I’m learning is that less phone means more everything. People joining have been sharing not only why they want to spend less time on their phones but what they’d rather be doing instead.

Here’s what they have to to say … 

  • I’d like to spend more time with my grandchildren.
  • I want to read more.
  • I’m sick of being distracted from doing real work.
  • I want to take better care of my family.
  • Must stop procrastinating.
  • I hope to be more creative.
  • I need to sleep better.
  • We need to set a better example for our kids.
  • I want to be more present.

There are many more responses, but even if this challenge only solves these problems, less phone means more everything.

When you are thinking of spending less time on your phone, focus on what you want more of, how you’d rather spend your time and how you want to feel.

Less Phone, More Life Challenge

This isn’t a no phone challenge, it’s a less phone challenge with a promise to reduce screen time by 25% or more. That means if you spend 4 hours a day on your phone, I’ll give you back one of them. If you spend 20 days a year on your phone, I’ll give you back 5 of them. Five. Full. Days.

Before you decide, consider how you’d spend an extra hour a day or an extra 5 days a year. Your numbers may be different and we’ll help you figure them out before we start the challenge. After five days, you’ll be using your phone and other digital devices more intentionally and less mindlessly.

On Wednesday, January 12, I’m hosting a Facebook Live at 3:00 PM Eastern here to tell you even more, answer your questions and invite you to join me for this fun, free five-day challenge. It’s even more fun with friends so invite them to take the challenge with you!

Sign up here and get your Prep Worksheet if you are ready to get started!

Weekend Favorites: slowing down, before and after pics and digital decluttering

by Courtney Carver

Weekend Wisdom: The energy for 2022 is to love me well or leave me alone. – Yung Pueblo

A cold walk is better than no walk.

It might be time to trade your scrolling for strolling. When comparing a long walk to a mindless session of scrolling social media, I’m reminded of how valuable my time is. After scrolling, I’m depleted. After strolling, I’m energized, relaxed and in awe of the world around me. I’m not saying social media is all bad, but too much of it is never good.

If you want to spend more time in awe of the world around you (or baking, reading, sleeping or something less) and less time scrolling, join me for the 5-day Less Phone, More Life Challenge.

And if you are wondering … 

  • You don’t have to be on Facebook to participate.
  • If your iPad is taking up more time than your phone, you can still join.
  • The challenge is free.
  • We start on January 17th but you can get ready with the worksheet we send you right away.

Share with a friend for extra accountability and fun.

Ok … onto the favorites:

Less hustle, more happiness.

How would you describe yourself in five words?

100 ways to slightly improve your life without really trying.

If you like seeing spaces transformed. Enjoy these before and after pics.

This was the most read Be More with Less article of 2021.

Is anyone out there ambitious enough to make this for me?

Resolutions based on your Enneagram type.

If you raced into the new year, this playlist will help you slow down.

10 things I love about my body.

I’m happy to share my new year’s wish for you here.

13 Black Women in wellness share what wellness and self-care means to them.

For your dry January, read this.

If you want to tune out the 2022 diet talk, here’s how. And she can help too!

How to declutter your home (when you don’t want to).

With veg sausage, this is still my favorite soup.

Join the digital simplicity challenge.

This week’s Instagram favorite is from @beorganizedomaha to remind us that letting go doesn’t have to be so hard.

I hope you enjoy this edition of Weekend Favorites and have a beautiful, safe, healthy, loving weekend.

xo,

Courtney

P.S. The Simplicity Space opens later this month! Learn more here.

Digital Simplicity Challenge (To Help You Reduce Screen Time)

by Courtney Carver

Decluttering your junk drawer is one thing but digital simplicity is another thing entirely. It’s more challenging to see because digital clutter comes from so many different directions.

Answer the following questions (honestly) to see if you could benefit from some digital simplicity.

Spending too much time on your phone?

Annoyed that a simple email check turned into hours of scrolling?

Tired of people asking you to put your phone down?

Concerned with how much harder it is to remember things or pay attention?

Want your life back?

If you nodded yes to one or more of the above, join me for the new digital simplicity challenge: Less Phone, More Life.

The biggest problem with spending more time on your phone is that you are spending less time in your life. It’s not just the time on your phone either but simply by being distracted by it and the time it takes to recover from the distraction.

Join me for 5-days and if you implement just one small action a day, I’ll promise you a drop in your screen time by at least 25%.

You could be losing meaningful minutes and moments to your screens and it’s time to get them back. Our phones and devices can connect us to some really good stuff. After all, they probably helped us meet! That said, with a more mindful approach we can harness the power of our digital connections while reducing or eliminating some of the digital connection side effects like tired eyes, lack of focus, too much sitting, apathy and more.

Excessive screen time can negatively impact our physical and mental health. Join the free 5-day challenge so you can reduce your screen time and feel better!

P.S. If you are wondering if you’ll be spending more time on your phone or other devices during this challenge the answer is no. While you will be accessing the content digitally, the strategies I’m sharing will dramatically reduce your screen time.

Weekend Favorites: early bedtime, 5-step cleaning routine and a good book

by Courtney Carver

Weekend Wisdom: When you remember who you are, it’s easier to let go of the things you are not.

I went to bed early.

I generally prioritize New Year’s Day over New Year’s Eve which means staying home and going to bed early. Then I wake up full of hope and excitement for the beginning of a new year. Some people can get the most out of both, but I have to choose.

I am so glad the first 2022 edition of Weekend Favs landed on January 1st so I could start the new year sending you love, peace, health, and gratitude … so much gratitude. I love you.

Ok … onto the favorites:

This soup sounds delicious.

Because The Holiday is my favorite holiday movie, I am paying close attention to this story.

If you are looking for a good book, here’s a list.

Read this if you need a break from the internet.

I wasn’t surprised to see that this was my most popular Instagram post of 2021.

This playlist makes me smile (and miss New York)

Let’s be more like sweet Wilbur.

5 reasons to go to bed early (not what you think).

It was such a pleasure to interview my daughter.

7 things I’ve learned wearing the same thing over and over again.

I hope I can see this one day.

Take a walk with me.

I listened to this one twice.

5-step spotless kitchen cleaning routine.

Don’t waste the good days.

5 things to unsubscribe from in 5 minutes.

This week’s Instagram favorite is from @nidhikushshah because I adore these rules for simple living.

I hope you enjoy this edition of Weekend Favorites and have a beautiful, safe, healthy, loving weekend.

xo,

Courtney

P.S. Watch your inbox on Wednesday for a fun, free, 5-day new year’s challenge.

7 Ways To Be More With Less

by Courtney Carver

It’s time for a brand new year. Goodbye 2021, hello 2022.

What do you want more of in your new year?

What do you want less of in your new year?

7 Ways to Be More With Less

While there are many things completely out of your control, so many things are. This is an invitation to be more with less, more of what you want with less of what you don’t want in your life anymore.

Maybe you don’t have a choice in some situations but you are entirely up to you in other situations. Those are the situations that really matter when you become intentional about how you want to live your life.

7 Ways To Be More With Less In The New Year

1. Be more with less clutter.
If you are ready to be clutter-free and let go of all that stuff that is standing between you and clarity, start anywhere. Empty a junk drawer or clear out your office.

Here’s how:

2. Be more with less busyness.
Are you tired? Ready to do less?

Here’s how:

3. Be more with less stress and overwhelm.
Let’s face it, the last two years have been full of stress and overwhelm on top of our regular stress and overwhelm. It’s time to release the stress that is weighing you down.

Here’s how:

4. Be more with less closet chaos.
Have you noticed that even though you have a closet full of clothes, you wear the same things over and over again? Do you have anything hanging in there with tags still attached.

Consider 3-months of a clutter-free, decision-free, chaos-free closet with Project 333.

5. Be more with less debt.
Are ready to become debt-free even though you know it will take some time to get there?

Here’s how:

6. Be more with less alcohol.
I never thought going alcohol free would be part of my simplicity journey. It’s been almost three years, and I can honestly say that this change simplified my life more than any other change I made. If you are questioning your relationship with alcohol, quit or simply take a break.

Here’s how:

7. Be more with less screen time.
Are ready to spend less time on your phone and other digital devices and more time living your life? Stay tuned because I have a really fun, free, 5-day challenge coming up for you next month. I’m sharing all the details next week and the challenge starts on January 17th.

So … which “less” will you choose? These may not all be interesting to you but explore the ones that are. Be thoughtful about the less and more you want in your life.

Be more with less in the new year and any time you want.

P.S. If you are ready for more support to be more with less, the Simplicity Space opens in late January. If you want to learn more, please sign up here.

3 Simple and Essential Holiday Gifts Just For You

by Courtney Carver

These simple and essential holiday gifts have a few things in common. Only you can give them to yourself. You can’t buy these gifts and they are available to you year round.

And … even though they are just for you, they are gift to everyone around you too.

3 Simple and Essential Holiday Gifts Just For You

1. The Holiday Pause.
This is one of the most underutilized gifts of all. You have the ability to pause …

  • before you respond to someone.
  • when you are overwhelmed.
  • before you add to cart.
  • when you need a little peace.

Here’s how to use The Holiday Pause. Anytime you want, you can pause by taking a few deep breaths. You can pause by listening to your favorite song. You can pause by writing down all of the thoughts that are standing in the way of clarity. You can simply say to yourself and others, “I am going to take a moment.”

For more inspiration to pause, see this/this/and this.

2. The Holiday Slow.
If this is the time of year when you typically kick it into high gear, even though you barely have any more gears left, use the gift of The Holiday Slow to dial it back. Embrace this gift of slowing down. Reject the rush to get it all done and make it all perfect. Refuse to compromise your wellness for one more minute by pushing yourself beyond your own healthy limits.

For more inspiration to slow, see this/this/and this.

3. The Holiday No. 
Use this gift of The Holiday No to say “No Thank You” to anything you aren’t interested in, don’t have time for and feel uncomfortable committing to. Instead of making up a story or giving a long winded explanation about why you can’t, simply say, “No thanks, I’ll be protecting my (time/energy/mental health/sleep/or whatever you are protecting) this weekend.”

You are allowed to protect these things. You saying it out loud will not only reinforce your priorities to you, it may inspire someone else to honor their own priorities too.

For more inspiration to no, see this/this/and this.

As you may have figured out, these gifts aren’t just for the holidays and stressful times. They are for your everyday enjoyment. Keep them in your pocket, your wallet and close to your heart so they are always near by.

Weekend Favorites: do less, easy meditations and a poem a day

by Courtney Carver

Weekend Wisdom: “Love empowers us to live fully and die well. Death becomes, then, not an end to life but a part of living.” – bell hooks

I enjoy appreciating beauty.

Motivation, energy, focus, flow … they all ebb and flow. We can optimize some of the factors that encourage these things but not most of them. I used to fight this. I’d push through. Work harder. Do whatever I could to be productive and make things happen.

And now, I respect the days that call for pulling back, letting go and simply noticing. I don’t push through the ebb of creative flow. Instead, I do something else or nothing at all.

Ok … onto the favorites:

I just signed up for a poem a day.

120 things to remove from your life.

Enjoy this slow December playlist.

This actually happened to a friend of mine (but not for 2 years).

You’ll enjoy this mother daughter interview.

A list of 78 documentaries.

I’m really glad I invested in this company this year.

7 things you don’t need to bring into the new year.

I don’t understand this.

5 tips to help you stop being mean to yourself.

If you’d like to develop a stronger sense of purpose, read this.

5 easy meditations you can do anywhere.

Writers pay tribute to bell hooks. (The Cut)

A short guide to help you do less.

Loved being a part of this podcast conversation.

Hahaha.

Check out this very important reminder.

Yum.

This week’s Instagram favorite is from @thelifeonpurposemovement. I don’t believe in life balance but this is a definition I can support.

I hope you enjoy this edition of Weekend Favorites and have a beautiful, safe, healthy, loving weekend.

xo,

Courtney

P.S. This is the last edition of Weekend Favorites for 2021. Thank you for being here this year and for engaging in, enjoying and sharing my work. I hope it helps you to engage in and enjoy your life.

Simplify Your Wardrobe For ONE Compelling Reason

by Courtney Carver

When I created Project 333 (a minimalist fashion challenge where you to dress with 33 items or less for 3 months) in 2010, I wasn’t interested in creating a capsule wardrobe. I didn’t want to develop a personal style (I thought that was a lost cause).

My motives had very little to do with clothes.

I just wanted some peace.

  • I wanted a break from the excess.
  • I wanted relief from running late in the morning after trying on several outfits.
  • I wanted to feel good in my clothes.
  • I wanted to stop obsessing over what I was going to wear to work, to dinner, to an event.
  • I wanted to stop feeling like I didn’t have enough … like I wasn’t enough.

The average woman owns $550 in clothing that has never been worn. We wear 20% of our clothing 80% of the time, and 100% of our wardrobe gets 100% of our attention, emotion, space, and time.

Don’t you want some peace?

Organizing your closet year after year, or season after season is just a band-aid for a much larger problem. We have too much. We have way more than we need and have been led to believe that we still don’t have enough. We don’t have the right shoes, a trendy coat for the season, the perfect little black dress, or the latest and greatest handbag.

Between constantly comparing, attractive advertising campaigns, and ridiculously low fast fashion prices, we just add, and add, and add. And it’s never enough until you remember this: You’ll never find something to wear that makes you feel beautiful, smart or loved until you believe you already are.

I wanted to simplify my wardrobe for ONE compelling reason. I wanted some peace.

I got so much more than that and because of that, continue (more than 11 years later) to dress with 33 items or less every 3 months. Thousands of people from around the world have tried the challenge have experienced benefits like these …

  • save money.
  • have more time.
  • reduce decision fatigue.
  • enjoy your mornings more.
  • get to wear your favorite things every day.
  • get curious about how less may add value in other areas of life.
  • create room to discover what you are really interested in.
  • realize that no one cares what you wear (or do).
  • rarely run late deciding what to wear.
  • smile more and stress less.

Those are all great benefits, but the ONE compelling reason to simplify your wardrobe is simply for some peace.

You deserve some peace.

If you take the Project 333 minimalist fashion challenge, you don’t have to get rid of anything or buy anything new. Instead, you’ll just be putting a little distance between you and your stuff.

Try Project 333

If you are interested in a simpler closet for the new year …

No matter which approach you go with, join me and other Project 333-ers on Instagram to share before and after pictures and other capsule wardrobe, dressing with less goodness.

You might be thinking, “you can’t get more peace by simplifying your wardrobe” but what if it’s true? What if you could have a less stressful, more peaceful life simply by reducing the number of items in your wardrobe? There’s only one way to find out.

Here’s to more peace in 2022.

Weekend Favorites: winter blues, second chances and juggling

by Courtney Carver

Weekend Wisdom: How something ends up never depends on how much you worry about it.

Let’s slow down now.

Reading by the tree in the morning before the sun comes up has become one of my favorite holiday traditions. My daughter inspired me to try it and it’s become a treasured time. It happens before email, before work, before cleaning, before it all. My December morning mantra is, “It can wait.”

We put so much pressure on ourselves when it comes to productivity, perfection and trying to juggle everything this time of year (on top of all of the regular juggling). The truth is that the juggling act is unsustainable so you have to decide. Will you put a few of the balls down or wait until they fall and break?

If they can wait, put them down.

P.S. Most of them can wait.

Ok … onto the favorites:

5 ways to unplug and recharge.

A new, very relatable book about minimalism: Messy Minimalism.

Random acts of joy and kindness.

I’m reading all of these holiday books.

How to save $50 this weekend just by decluttering.

If you want holiday background music for reading, journaling or watching the snow fall, here it is.

A thoughtful way to consider the holiday season.

I really needed this cleaning test.

This is the truthiest truth.

If you are feeling down, here are 12 ways to beat the winter blues.

Simple holiday decor to DIY.

Feeling overwhelmed with holiday work parties and celebrations? This will help.

Great questions to ask if you are thinking about letting go.

Ready for the new year? Here are 8 ways to make it more meaningful.

Yum.

This week’s Instagram favorite is from @romper just because it made me smile.

I hope you enjoy this edition of Weekend Favorites and have a beautiful, safe, healthy, loving weekend.

xo,

Courtney

Digital Sabbatical: 5 ways to unplug and recharge

by Courtney Carver

Last month, I took 8 glorious days away from most of the internet. No social media, email, or browsing around. Each day felt longer and I was more present and aware of my surroundings. It was delightful.

If it’s been awhile since you closed your computer and ditched your phone or other digital devices for an extended period of time, consider a digital sabbatical.

Commit to unplugging for 24-48 hours. Call it a sabbatical, digital detox, or a Sabbath. Wayne Muller, the author of Sabbath: Finding Rest, Renewal, and Delight in Our Busy Lives points out that while Sabbath may be a holy day for some, it can be anything that provides a visceral experience of life-giving nourishment and rest. He suggests that Sabbath time can be a refuge from our modern life which is designed to seduce our attention.

Between hundreds of TV channels, calendar alerts, email, billboards and other cries for our attention, it’s no wonder that we often feel overwhelmed with day-to-day life, and then some sense of guilt for wanting to retreat.

The first few hours of your sabbatical might be challenging. You might feel the urge to check your email or see what’s happening on Facebook, but once you start connecting with everything around you, you’ll forget that you are disconnected.

5 ways to unplug and recharge

These steps will help you prepare for your digital sabbatical.

1. Tell your family.
Ask friends and family to unplug with you. If they don’t want to, ask them to support your digital sabbatical. Let them know what to expect and better ways to connect with you.

2. Hide your devices.
If your computers and phones are usually charging in your living room or bedroom, place them in a box or closet so that it isn’t easy to take a quick look or check in.

3. Go analog.
Pen on paper will provide the visceral experience that you sometimes miss typing and scrolling. Write about your experience and how you feel while you are unplugged. Notice how those feelings change from hour 1 to hour 24 or 48. Digital may be convenient but analog is delightful.

4. Let it wait.
The internet will be there when you get back. When you think about the things that have to get done, ask yourself what will really happen if they don’t get done right away. If you wait one day, what is the worst thing that will happen? If the worst isn’t as bad as you thought, let it wait. When you do come back, address the necessary and put an end to the endless game of catching up.

5. Customize your experience.
Try to get completely disconnected for your digital sabbatical. That said, if there is something standing in your way, customize your experience. For instance, if you want to stay connected to your family through FaceTime, make an exception. Or, if you have a time sensitive email coming through, allow a 15-minute check for that email only.

What to do on your digital sabbatical.

  • Read a book. Unplugging creates all kinds of time to read.
  • Try a new recipe. Make something that requires your full attention. Here’s a great playlist for your culinary adventure.
  • Take a long walk. Not for exercise, just to see what you can see, to think what you can think and to be who you can be. Take that kind of walk.
  • Light candles. The phones and computers are gone, why not the lights?
  • Write a love letter. Mail it or don’t but put your feelings on paper. Be ooey-gooey and lovey-dovey or short, simple and direct with your words. Write to your lover or a friend, parent, child, local business owner, neighbor or someone you don’t even know. Tell them what you love about them and how they make your life better.
  • Take a nap. Lay down and close your eyes in the middle of the day. Yes, that’s a thing. Try it, you’ll like it. If you struggle to rest, this will help.
  • Take care. Bump up your investment in self-care. Do the things that make you feel good and consider these unconventional ways to take better care of yourself.
  • Nothing. You are more than welcome to ignore all of these suggestions and do nothing at all.

You might not think you have time to do any of these things, but without the day-to-day distraction from all things digital, you’ll be surprised at how much time opens up. Use it in a way that refreshes your soul, feeds your body, and quiets your mind.

After your digital sabbatical, ease back in and set limits for the first week back. If you usually check your email before you get out of bed, wait until you’ve had breakfast before checking in. Make small shifts and re-engage more intentionally. If you enjoy your digital sabbatical, make it a weekly event.

By disconnecting, you’ll feel more connected. Don’t worry, you won’t miss a thing.

Weekend Favorites: decluttering guide, holiday cleaning and less screen time

by Courtney Carver

Weekend Wisdom: Shopping doesn’t cure boredom. Curiosity does that.

I’m guessing I’m not the only one in your inbox today.

My favorite part of the relentless sales email over this weekend (and coming month) is the opportunity to unsubscribe. It’s my positive spin on something that is out of my control. The ads and emails keep coming, especially right now.

So how do we respond? We can rage against the machine or we make a cup of tea, listen to some nice music and take care of it like this:

1. Remove email from your phone and check it less. I used to check email all day every day, then I dropped to twice a day and now I check a few times a week.

2. When annoying emails come your way, unsubscribe and delete. And then breathe and sip your tea.

When all else fails and you feel too overwhelmed with it all, do this.

 

Ok … onto the favorites:

The Holiday Decluttering Guide for more comfort and joy.

If you are ordering books for your book lovers, consider shopping local.

How to be uncluttered.

I am making this tonight.

Stunning.

If you are chilly, here is some warm music for the holidays.

This helped me reduce my screen time by 70%.

If you want to create an evening, wind-down and sleep well routine, try this.

Here are 5 ways to feel calm inside when things are chaotic outside.

If you are new to Weekend Favorites, see the whole collection here.

12 days of cleaning for the holidays.

If you struggle with food, weight and body image, please listen to this.

10 better ways to spend black Friday weekend.

If you are ready for a new year’s challenge that will change your closet and your life, do this.

One of the easiest, fastest, least expensive and most meaningful gifts you can give to yourself and share with friends, family, co-workers, book clubs and anyone you think of.

Another way to think about self-care.

This week’s Instagram favorite is from @becomingunbusy with a shout out to gratitude.

I hope you enjoy this edition of Weekend Favorites and have a beautiful, safe, healthy, loving weekend.

xo,

Courtney

P.S. 31 Days of Gifts You So Deserve is ready for you and your loves and it starts next week!

Holiday Stress Relief: 5 ways to feel calm inside when it’s chaotic outside

by Courtney Carver

The most magical time of year can also be the most stressful time of year. It’s not that way for everyone or every year but most of us could benefit from some holiday stress relief.

If any of the following things stress you out this time of year, holiday stress relief is on the way. You will probably discover that you can apply what you learn now to everyday stress too..

  • family
  • health
  • wardrobe
  • food/drink
  • gift giving

Holiday Stress Relief: 5 ways to feel calm on the inside when it’s chaotic on the outside

1. If people are stressing you out.
Create a mantra. I start with, “Everyone is doing their best.” From the grocery store to the dinner table, not everyone is going to arrive with the same amount of grace, presence, humor or awareness that you might be looking for. Because you can’t fix other people, the problem is not how they show up but that they show up differently than you expect or desire. When you notice that your expectations are frustrating you, silently repeat your mantra, “They are doing their best.” If that doesn’t work, use author, Elizabeth Lesser’s Mantra, “Do no harm, take no shit.”

2. If your health is stressing you out.
Prioritize self-care. If your stress is causing you to feel rundown or you are stressed because you anticipate feeling tired or overwhelmed, stop. Prioritize self-care and let a few things go. Here are 25 simple ways to take care during the holidays and here are 8 unconventional ways to take better care.

3. If getting dressed is stressing you out.
After 2020, you might not be ready to dress up again or maybe there are a lot of things in your closet that you never wear. Instead of buying new things, dress with less. Eliminate decision fatigue and frustration by assigning 1-3 “going out” outfits and put them on repeat through the end of the year. Then, consider minimalist fashion challenge Project 333 for the new year to really get a handle on your closet chaos.

4. If your relationship with food/drink is stressing you out.

  • Listen to this.
  • Read this.
  • Remember this:  This holiday season (and always), when you notice someone isn’t eating or drinking what you eat and drink, or what you think they should eat or drink, instead of pushing (come on, just try it) or asking for an explanation (Why aren’t you drinking? Just a sip for the toast? Are you pregnant?), just let them be, love them and enjoy spending time with them. And then repeat forever. ❤️

5. If gift giving is stressing you out. 
You can change your gift giving traditions anytime. Here’s how.

Option A: If you would prefer to opt-out all together, do it. Start with 1:1 conversations with people you usually exchange gifts with. You’ll likely be pleasantly surprised that most want to opt out too.

Option B: Focus on experiences over things. Take a holiday walk together instead of exchanging gifts. Bake with or for each other. Donate to each other’s favorite charities.

Option C: Send 31 Days of Gifts You So Deserve to everyone on your list. They’ll be delighted every day in December and it will be the easiest, fastest, least expensive and most meaningful gift you can give to yourself and share with friends, family, co-workers, book clubs and anyone you think of.

The Holiday Decluttering Guide for more Comfort and Joy

by Courtney Carver

One word that often comes to mind when thinking about the holidays is more. There is more giving, more getting, more doing, spending, falling behind, catching up, and getting run down.

Thankfully, there is also more opportunity for comfort and joy (but only if we make room for it). Take time now to do some intentional decluttering, so the more of the holidays doesn’t turn into too much.

Use this holiday decluttering guide to make room for more peace, love, light, comfort and joy during the holidays and anytime at all.

The Holiday Decluttering Guide

Declutter your home.
A pre-holiday sweep will make room for holiday decor, winter boots, and other seasonal stuff. Put the ornaments and other holiday stuff you decorate with through a decluttering filter too. Just because you’ve saved something for decades doesn’t mean you are obligated to keep it forever. If you aren’t displaying it, or don’t like it, donate it. If you want more decluttering direction try this:

Declutter your schedule.
How do you really want to spend the holiday season? If silent nights sound more inviting than party hopping, be socially selective. You aren’t required to say yes to every invitation. Look at your regular calendar too. Build in time to take care of yourself, and don’t over-schedule. Leave room for holiday magic. Built in margin in November and December = magic.

Declutter your heart.
The holidays can trigger heavy hearts, and put a spotlight on struggling relationships. If your heart already feels heavy, seek ways to lighten it up. Journaling, daily walks, meditating, engaging in difficult conversations and working with a therapist may all be part of the treatment plan.

My dear friend and Mind-Body Therapist, Rachel Shanken recommends the following exercise to feed your heart a little light:

Set a timer for 3 minutes. Sit tall. Close your eyes and bring your hands to your heart. Start by noticing the sensation of your hands against your chest. Take a big breath right into the spot underneath where your hands are, feeling the breath inflate your chest. As you continue to breathe, visualize a warm white light surrounding your heart and radiating out into your hands. With each inhale imagine the soft white light expanding around your heart and shining throughout your whole chest. With each exhale visualize that same soft light radiating from your heart back into your hands. When the timer rings, notice what has shifted inside you. 

You’ll also love Rachel’s 15 Body-Mind Fast Facts, Fixes,and Tricks to make your life better. Some take less than 3 minutes.

Declutter your mind.
If your mind starts to spin with visions of sugar plums and all the things you have to make, bake, ship, buy, and do, take a big deep breath. A consistent mindfulness practice will help you put things in perspective.

Create a daily practice of writing down all of the things spinning around up there and then sitting quietly for a few moments. The writing/meditation combination will help you rid your mind of clutter.

Declutter your money.
There is so much pressure to overspend during the holidays but resist. Don’t give out of obligation, comparison, or fear about what people will think. Respect your budget when you give and spend over the holidays and beyond.

Declutter your digital life.
Set some boundaries around your digital engagement. If you check email and social media every day, try every other day. Assign digital-free zones in your home and on your calendar.

To further resist digital overwhelm, set some parameters for yourself and consider going internet-lite for the holidays.

Declutter your traditions and obligations.
Hold onto the traditions that warm your heart and let go of the others, especially the ones you resent or find exhausting. Just ask yourself, “Does this fill my heart or empty it?” Give yourself permission to engage in the holidays in ways that fill your heart and soul.

Declutter the stress.
Just because everything is chaotic around you, doesn’t mean everything has to be chaotic within you. One quote that often reminds me of this truth is from Pema Chödrön, “You are the sky. Everything else – it’s just the weather.” Commit to just a few of these 30 simple ways to take care of yourself over the holidays. Take care of yourself. It’s the best gift you can give yourself and everyone you love.

P.S. If you want to declutter gift giving this year, 31 Days of Gifts is something fun, different and memorable for almost everyone on your list. It’s affordable, meaningful and there won’t be any clutter or shipping delays. Learn more here. 

Weekend Favorites: taking a break, digital clean out and self-acceptance

by Courtney Carver

Weekend Wisdom: Go outside.

I’m taking a break.

While I’m away, I’ll be taking long walks, reading books, moisturizing, dozing off in the middle of the day and staying off the internet. I’ll tell you more when I come back but I know what you are really here for, so let’s get right to the favorites.

Ok … onto the favorites:

4 tips to help you read more.

Enjoy some of my favorite love songs.

How to do a digital cleanout.

If you love avocados, try this.

This is how we plan all the things.

If you are ready to declutter for good, try Swedish Death Cleaning.

A day in my life (the end is the best).

It’s time for radical self-acceptance.

Gifts for everyone on your list.

We all need this loving reminder.

This is a true story.

This time last year, I wrote this.

The 23 best cleaning hacks of all time. I will be trying #9.

Dispel anxiety and nervous energy with these 3 techniques.

Let’s go outside.

This week’s Instagram favorite is from @momadvice because rest is the most productive thing we can do.

I hope you enjoy this edition of Weekend Favorites and have a beautiful, safe, healthy, loving weekend.

xo,

Courtney

P.S. 31 Days of Gifts You So Deserve is ready for you and your loves.

31 Days of Gifts You So Deserve 2021

by Courtney Carver

Announcing 31 Days of Gifts You So Deserve has been my cue to kick off the holiday season for the last nine years. It’s become something I look forward to every year and based on the emails I start receiving in July, I know many of you do too.

31 Days of Gifts You So Deserve

What is 31 Days of Gifts?

31 Days of Gifts You So Deserve is like an advent calendar in your inbox. You’ll receive meaningful, magical gifts throughout the month of December. These gifts will encourage you to embrace the holidays with joy and intention. They will also help you move into the new year with an open heart.

Every day throughout December, you’ll receive a gift in your inbox. At the end of each email, you’ll find links to the gifts that came before. If you join after we get started, miss a gift, or want to revisit one of your favorite gifts, this list makes it easy to go back.

A beautiful tradition.

For many in the Be More with Less community (myself included), 31 Days of Gifts You So Deserve has become a holiday tradition. I love how you embrace the daily gifts and invite friends, family, and co-workers.

If you haven’t participated before, you might be interested in hearing what participants have to say about the program.

I just wanted you to know that this was one of my HIGHLIGHTS of December!  – Julie

A friend signed me up for these gifts and I enjoyed opening each one. Thank you for your thought-provoking words. They will stay with me throughout the year. – Randi

I so appreciated the 31 days of gifts in my inbox during the hectic beautiful and magical month of December. I listened to your stories, danced and sang to your playlists, tried a recipe or two and spent time just thinking about what you wrote each day. – Loretta

Thank you so much for these wonderful 31 Days of Gifts!  I’m finding myself looking first for your emails every morning. They are helping me to focus, and feel a little less frantic, and to enjoy the holidays. Thank you for a bright start to each day, and a few quiet moments. – Joyce

Why Join 31 Days (plus a free sampling of gifts)

This program is a reminder that the best things don’t come from the mall or in perfectly wrapped packages. If we want to experience the very best gifts, we have to give ourselves time to pay attention to them even in the midst of uncertainty and navigating the holidays in a new way.

Each year, more and more people send 31 Days of Gifts to friends, family, and co-workers. We’ve had book clubs, corporate offices, community groups, churches and families spanning the globe participate together. That is just one of the many reasons this program is so dear to my heart.

Gifts of holidays past have included …

  • holiday playlists
  • sweets
  • breakfast in bed
  • patience

As you may have guessed these gifts are not physical objects because we all know the best things aren’t things. Click here to sample a few gifts to see what I mean. This year will include favorites from the last few years + new gifts to help you create new holiday memories and be present for holiday magic.

You deserve the gift of discovering what’s most meaningful to you over the holidays. You deserve a few quiet moments to yourself. You deserve to give yourself permission to make room for the best things … instead of trying to make room for all the things.

Pay what you want …

For the last nine years, this program has been offered for $3.10 (ten cents a day), but it is worth so much more. As more people participate, I invest more time and money to make these gifts available and meaningful. If you’ve participated before, you understand the value of the program, but I also know that for some, $3.10 is barely in the holiday budget.

Each year I consider raising the price, but instead, I’ll continue to leave it up to you. Please pay what you want so everyone can continue to enjoy the gifts they so deserve with a small investment.

How to join and send gifts …

  1. click the image below or use this link.
  2. complete the form with your name, email and whether you’d like to gift 31 days to friends or family
  3. if you select “yes” for gifting, you’ll be prompted to add how many gift recipients and their email addresses. We will add them to the 31 Days mailing list.
  4. edit the price to what you want to pay (minimum $3.10 per name, including yourself).
  5. Complete the purchase by choosing your payment method.
  6. After you complete your purchase, you can download the welcome letter and then check your inbox for an email with more information about receiving your gifts.

31 Days of Gifts

Questions

Q: When do I receive my first gift?
December 1st or the day after you sign up in December. If you join later in December, you’ll find all prior gifts listed in your first email. You won’t miss a thing!

Q: How will my gift recipients know I sent them this as a gift?
Once you purchase, you’ll receive a gift letter to share with them. It’s really important to let them know to expect emails from support@bemorewithless.com or they may think it is junk mail.

Q: Is there a deadline to join?
I recommend joining as soon as possible so you can start receiving gifts on December 1st, but you can register anytime thru December and still have access to all 31 gifts.

Q: How do I access gifts I missed?
All the gifts are listed in each email with links so you can go back to gifts you missed or ones you want to revisit.

Q: Can I join from anywhere?
Yes! If you have an email address, we’ll send you gifts.

Q: Do I need special login information or a password?
No. Everything will be delivered via email.

Q. It’s December and I didn’t receive my first gift yet. Where is it?
Please check your promotions folder or spam folder. If you still don’t have it, please email support@bemorewithless.com

Q. How do I make sure my gift recipients get their email?
Let them know what to expect in advance. We’ll be sending you a gift message PDF that you can forward and we highly recommend you have a conversation to tell them it’s coming. Give them the chance to be excited about looking for their gifts each day.

Q: This isn’t a question, but I need help!
Great, We are happy to help! Please support@bemorewithless.com.

Enjoy these daily doses of delight throughout December. Gentle reminders and joyful recommendations will guide you through the month with wonder and simplicity.

31 Days of Gifts

P.S. I can’t believe this is the 10th year of 31 days!! Thank you so much for participating, gifting, sharing and enjoying these gifts.

Weekend Favorites: the best advice, tenderness and moments that matter

by Courtney Carver

Weekend Wisdom: Maybe the opposite of being all caught up is not being behind but being relaxed.

Everything is falling in place.

You know that feeling when things just seem to happen or fall into place. I love that feeling. I notice it, celebrate it and then remember all of the moments and minutes and tiny steps that came before to orchestrate what seems to appear out of thin air. Sometimes it was months, years or a lifetime in the making.

Sometimes it’s luck and privilege and other times its hundreds of tiny steps or some combination and I’ll never take any of it for granted.

Ok … onto the favorites:

25 simple ways to take care of yourself over the holidays

We could all use a little more of this.

A simple way to make friends.

I talked about my relationship with alcohol on this podcast.

Sweet book nook ideas.

75 Diwali wishes to honor the Festival of Lights

I will be listening to this playlist while making these cookies.

Listen to this if you are ready to kick off the holiday season.

If you don’t want to miss moments that matter, this will help.

Let’s go for a walk.

Enough is enough, especially with these 5 things.

The problem with everything.

I’m watching this, reading this and listening to this.

Yum.

One of the best pieces of advice is right here.

This week’s Instagram favorite is from @newhappyco because this is how it really happens.

I hope you enjoy this edition of Weekend Favorites and have a beautiful, safe, healthy, loving weekend.

xo,

Courtney

25 Simple Ways to Take Care of Yourself Over the Holidays

by Courtney Carver

This holiday season we may be feeling a little weary, a little concerned, a little excited, relieved, anxious, sad, happy … whew, all the feelings. No matter how you feel about the upcoming holiday season, consider this article an invitation to take extra good care of yourself over the next few months.

Self care during the holidays will help you feel better and more relaxed through a more challenging time and perhaps inspire new habits and interest in putting yourself first in the new year and onward.

Holiday Self Care

25 Simple Ways to Take Care of Yourself Over the Holidays

1. morning routine
If every day, you make a little time for yourself first thing, you can move through your day with more grace and intention. Your morning routine might only be 5 minutes long to start, but even that will help. Use the time to sit quietly with a cup of tea, meditate, journal, walk, or include other activities that feed your body, mind, heart, and soul.

2. candlelight
listen to music with candles burning or just sitting quietly in candlelight. As the days get darker, add light to your day.

3. 31 Days of Gifts You So Deserve
Yes, it’s coming back. I’ll be making an announcement soon for 31 Days of Gifts you so Deserve. This daily email program will help you engage in the best parts of this magical time of year.

4. take a walk
Go outside and take a walk. Bundle up if it’s cold and head out with the intention of noticing the magic. Don’t worry about burning calories or tracking steps, just enjoy yourself.

5. respect your budget
Once you figure out what you can spend on extras like holiday gifts, events, and other holiday things, honor that. If you splurge now, you pay even more later. And later comes sooner than you think.

6. opt-out
When/if you are buying gifts, decline to leave your email address with a merchant. If shopping online, check out as a guest and don’t accidentally subscribe to email lists. They make it really easy for you to opt-in, but you’ll save the stress of future sales and shopping promos arriving daily in your inbox by opting out.

7. one in, one out
Stay clutter-free, or at the very least, avoid adding to your clutter by sticking with a one in, one out rule. For each thing that comes in, another goes out. Apply this rule to gifts, clothing, events and decorations.

8. be unconventional
Bubble baths and massages are nice but that’s not the only way to do self-care. Try one or more of these 8 unconventional ways to take better care of yourself.

9. say no
Here’s how.

10. only decorate with your favorite things
If you’ve been accumulating holiday decor for years, or decades, chances are your most meaningful, favorite things don’t get a chance to stand out. Start by only decorating with your favorite things instead of all the things. If that resonates with you, box up the rest or donate it if you love the simpler holiday wonderland you create.

11. under-schedule
Cancel some of your planned activities and make room for holiday magic to unfold.

12. nap
Give your body and brain a chance to recharge on those go-go-go holiday marathon days. Even 20 minutes will make a big difference.

13. read an actual book
Close your computer and other digital devices and curl up with a good book. Instead of reading something for self-improvement or work, read something for your heart.

14. laugh
Call or spend time with the person that makes you laugh harder than anyone else. Then laugh until you cry.

15. write
Emotions can run high during the holidays, but much of what goes through our heads never needs to be said out-loud. Instead, write it down. Write down how you are feeling, and what makes you happy, sad, angry, or frustrated. Putting it on paper gives you a chance to clear your mind and move through your day with less bottled up stress.

16. regift
Finding the perfect gift is often stressful and expensive. Instead, find a meaningful gift. Give a friend your favorite book and write something to them on the inside cover. Give someone a beautiful vase you never use full of flowers, or look for other things you can pass on with love.

17. go internet-lite
If you aren’t sure how hyper-connectivity is affecting your life, try to remember the last conversation you had that wasn’t interrupted by a ding or a ring. Or, look around any restaurant, grocery store, or waiting room and see what percentage of people are looking into a screen. If you want to scale back, check out this guide to internet-lite holidays.

18. make a love list
Here’s how.

19. be grateful
Directing more of our attention towards gratitude for the things that make our lives wonderful is scientifically proven to make us healthier, more energetic, less stressed and anxious, and help us get better sleep.

20. give
There are so many opportunities to give and so many people and organizations in need. Pick something close to your heart and give the way you want to give instead of how you think you are supposed to give.

21. make something
Be creative. Write a poem, start a book, get out the finger paints and a big piece of paper, and express yourself. Make. Create. Enjoy the process with no expectations.

22. breathe
Frustrated? Breathe in. Breathe out. Worried? Breathe in. Breathe out. Overwhelmed? Breathe in. Breathe out. Confused? Breathe in. Breathe out. Exhausted? Breathe in. Breathe out. Start there and you can often avoid over-thinking and over-reacting.

23. let go
There are benefits to moving through life, work, and relationships with a softer step, a gentler look, and a lighter heart. If you want to be light, you have to let go.

24. full stop
If you’ve already overdone it, consider a full stop. Sometimes backing off isn’t enough. Take a whole day to yourself and vow to do nothing more than take care of yourself all day long.

25. be love
Instead of working so hard to people please, get it all done or control the world, just be love today.

Take care of yourself over the holidays. It’s the best gift you can give yourself and everyone you love.

Weekend Favorites: how to pack, more delight and burnout

by Courtney Carver

Weekend Wisdom: Check in with your heart. Ask, “is this enough?” Maybe more isn’t working anymore.

Oh, hi.

Words like rest, enough, gaze, relax, imagine and delight are winding their way around my heart today. I’m thinking about how to be softer and more present. I’m revisiting all of the things I thought I knew about work, busyness, distraction and resisting the call of more.

You know the call of more right? It sounds like this …

  • Do a little more and you won’t have as much to do tomorrow.
  • Make more now so you can rest later.
  • Be more available to prove your energy and value.
  • Answer one more email, scroll a little more.
  • Cross more off your to-do list.
  • Wake earlier, go to bed later, break less and you can do more.
  • Produce more, consume more, come on … a little more.
  • Push more, prove more, want more.

I’m not answering the call of more today and encourage you to let it go to voicemail too.

Ok … onto the favorites:

30 best comforting soup recipes.

Today is a bones day. (NYT)

This makes my brain happy.

Let’s talk about burnout.

How to pack a suitcase like an adult.

I can’t wait to start reading this author’s work.

5 gentle rules to help you feel good. You deserve to feel good.

If you want to mix up your work hours, experiment with this.

I’m starting this book today.

Declutter before the holidays: 20 ways to make room for more joy.

These 3 tips will help you feel better if you sit at a desk all day.

Be encouraged to spend less time on social media with this caption.

Love in the time of corona.

May we all sleep this deeply.

Fika

This week’s Instagram favorite is from @simplysophiedesigns to encourage enoughness in your life.

I hope you enjoy this edition of Weekend Favorites and have a beautiful, safe, healthy, loving weekend.

xo,

Courtney

P.S. The Simplicity Space membership opens next week but only to the waitlist. Learn more and sign up here.