The Real Secret to Reducing Screen Time

Reducing screen time and spending less time on our phones and other devices is something we’ve been craving for a while now. While there are a bunch of little tips and tricks, the real secret is simpler than you might think.

I had a work date with my friend Heidi last week. As we sipped our coffee and caught up on work and non-work things, she said, “I really need to put this down,” and pointed to her phone. She reminded me of all the times I’ve stared into my phone looking for something, but not really sure what that something was.

I asked her if she had considered using a Brick or blocking apps or turning her phone to grayscale? She said she had set timers on some of her apps but it was always easy to bypass them and continue scrolling. That sounded familiar! While I’m sure there are people out there who don’t struggle with reducing screen time, most of us do. I’ve shared all the tips and tricks for spending less time on your phone, gentle ways to break up with your phone, and I even wrote a whole chapter called Less Phone in my latest book, Gentle.

I’ve experimented with all of the tricks to reduce screen time and they’ve all been helpful — but only temporarily. Lately, I think I’ve discovered the real secret to reducing screen time and spending less time on my phone (and it’s not throwing your phone into the ocean).

The Real Secret to Reducing Screen Time

The only person I know who never has a problem with screen time is mother-in-law. She had a smartphone for a minute and hated it. She says she doesn’t have time for email or the internet because of her embroidery. She’d rather spend time doing something she loves. Ahhh, the secret!

As the saying goes, do more things that make you forget to check your phone. The real secret to reducing screen time is to shift your focus from controlling your phone to forgetting all about it.

Why It’s So Hard to Forget About Your Phone and Reduce Screen Time

If you are thinking about all the times you tried to reduce screen time and wondering why you are still trying, please know this is not a moral failure on your part. Most of us struggle to stop looking at our phones. I won’t get into the phone addiction conversation here, but check it out if you’re curious. We will only be hearing more and more about how too much screen time is hurting us.

3 Ways to Make Reducing Screen Time Easier

Start by forgetting about all the times you tried before. If I had held onto all the times I tried to pay off my debt, get rid of my clutter, or take better care of myself, the guilt and regret would have made it impossible to change. But I did change all of those things! Next …

1. See how much time you are actually spending on screens.

You can look this up in the settings on your devices or just track it yourself with a timer for a week. It’s easier to get where you want to be if you know where you are now.

2. Use a few of the tips and tricks to stay off your phone.

I know I said these tips are only helpful temporarily, but there are a few that I’ve stuck with, and they make a big difference. I removed email from my phone, moved all my apps off the home screen, and my sleep timer runs from 6:30 pm to 6:30 am so I’m not getting any incoming information during that time. I’m currently experimenting with Brick to make certain apps off-limits when I leave the house so I’m not tempted to check Substack or Instagram when I’m out and about. Pick one or two tips to experiment with and stick with them for 30 days to see what works for you. If you notice you’re bypassing self-imposed limits, try something else.

3. Put your phone in jail (or another room).

When I first heard about phone jail, I immediately created a space in our laundry room where our phones could go. Even when you aren’t checking your phone, proximity matters.

One study showed that, “Research has shown that a mobile phone left next to a participant while completing a task, is a powerful distractor even when not in use.” Because even when you aren’t using your phone, if you can see it (even face down), you’re thinking about it. That means you aren’t thinking about something else, like the present moment or anything else that deserves your attention.

Things that actually help me reduce screen time and forget about my phone

Once you get those three things in motion, come back to the real secret to reducing screen time … doing things you love. If you’ve forgotten what you love or how you enjoy spending time, you may have to try a few things.

This is what’s been working for me lately. Not only have these things reduced my screen time, but they’ve lowered stress and improved my mental health. Your things will be different, but I hope these suggestions give you some ideas to embrace the pleasure of analog living.

Exercise makes me forget about my phone.

I play tennis two or three times a week, and I completely forget about my phone for those 90-ish minutes sessions. Hitting the ball is really all I can focus on! When I go to the gym to lift weights, my phone is nearby because I’m listening to music. I noticed that I would check my phone between some sets (for literally no reason at all) but that went away when I Bricked my phone.

You can’t think about your phone when you’re cuddling puppies.

I don’t have pets at home anymore (and I don’t want one). I do want the cute, sweet cuddling part but not the pet parent responsibility part. Puppies + Yoga solved my problem. For 45 minutes, you sort of do yoga with the puppies running about, and then there is a dedicated 30-minute puppy play time. See if they have one in your city.

When I’m painting, my phone is out of sight.

I use the Emily Lex Watercolor Workbooks to get lost in a creative adventure. I think it’s a stepping stone to painting more on my own, but I really love the simplicity of painting this way. I’ll admit, when I’m finished painting, I take a picture with my phone and send it to a few friends!

I learned how to play Mahjong!

Ok, this is what I mean by trying things. I had no idea if I would like playing Mahjong (especially with people I didn’t know). As an introvert, this was a bit of a challenge, but every time I play, I have fun and can’t even think about my phone. I took a couple of lessons, and attended an open play with a local Mahjong club. Now I’m encouraging my friend Heidi to learn so we can play together.

Phone-free walks help when reducing screen time.

Last night I went for a walk without my phone. Sometimes I like to listen to music or a podcast while walking but just 30 minutes without more input was a balm to my nervous system. Instead of zoning out, I could really tune into my surroundings, my thoughts, and how I was feeling. I could hear myself breathing.

Put down your phone and pick up a book.

Mindless scrolling makes people less interested in reading books. Since I stopped using Instagram so much, I read more than ever before. I just finished reading this book. If you are looking for book recommendations:

My mother-in-law works on her embroidery. I read books and cuddle puppies. Find what you love, what matters to you, and what makes you forget to check your phone.