How to Live with Less: Fear
Editor’s Note: This is a guest post from Dusti Arab.
Sitting in front of my computer this morning, I sat with my head in my hands as I read my to-do list. It wasn’t just long or tedious. Heck, most of it I expected to enjoy doing! But it was like looking at a mountain I was completely unprepared to climb. Standing at its base, the fear began to creep into my heart over the monumental task I was taking on.
Why would doing something you love cause you to feel this way? If you are happy with your work, the work should be easy enough to do. That is, until you start comparing yourself to everyone around you. Anyone else guilty of looking at Twitter first thing in the morning and being a little discouraged by how little you matter in the popularity contest that is social media?
I’m really lucky to be in a niche where I have many friends, and many of those friends are very successful. It seems like it comes so naturally to many of them. I begin to wonder why I’m trying to work online at all. With a toddler under my feet, trying to write, working on joint ventures, and attempting to meet deadlines, it begins to feel like the world is against me getting anything done at all.
The doubt starts to edge in.
- Why would someone hire me when they could hire this person?
- How much more successful are they than I am?
- How do they combine motherhood and work?
- Why can’t I be more like that?
- Why am I not more motivated?
It’s easy to feel inadequate. We put so much pressure on ourselves to be more, add more to the mix, commit to more, do more. When someone else appears to have it together, your doubts turn into the fears we all carry.
We fear not being accepted. Not being loved. Not being good enough.
The fears are real. They are so terrifying and debilitating they keep us from acting. This inaction is the real problem, though. If we allow our fear to keep us from doing what we love, achieving our successes, and being the people who we want to be, then fear wins.
Fear is a beautiful little piece of us meant to keep us safe, but it likes to rear its head when it’s not needed. And that’s when you can rise above it. Here are a few affirmations to help you next fear tries to help a little too much.
A short list of affirmations to beat fear
- You are enough.
- You are already everything you need.
- This is an opportunity in disguise. (Albeit a darn good one.)
- You are beautiful.
- The universe wants you to succeed.
- You have a choice.
- Your passion matters.
- You are more than this situation.
- Your creativity is unique and inspiring.
- You are a good mother/father/husband/wife.
- You are worthy of love.
- You are fully capable.
- Someone admires something you do naturally.
- You are worthy of being treated the way you want to be.
Write one down and carry it with you today. Whenever you doubt yourself or your ability to handle a situation, say it to yourself out loud. Smile.
Really. Because the universe wants you to succeed.
Dusti Arab is a writer and branding consultant. You can find her at Undefinable You. She is author of The Minimalist Mom and The Digital Dominatrix.
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